Comments on: The Married Single Mom

By: msn

msn — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 01:07:58 +0000

What if you are too old to leave? After a certain age, even tho you are a “married single mother” (I have even told people I feel like this), you are afraid to leave, especially financially and emotionally. I am very co-dependant so that makes it worse. But now it just seems easier to agree and move on, hoping for the best………..

By: jecomax

jecomax — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 16:11:11 +0000

why depend on God for full satisfaction

By: 2greatkids

2greatkids — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 19:19:35 +0000

speedgirl!!! your post just made my day!! i hope you get my email and perhaps we can exchange stories. When I tell people my husband didnt beat me and we didnt fight and he was financially supportive (although I was the breadwinner)…no one can understand why I am divorcing him. We were like roommates for years… I told him that from time to time but nothing changed. we ended up with 2 kids and 2 laptops…after the kids were asleep, each of us was on a laptop. Not a marriage by any stretch of the imagination. i LOVED your post about what you told your 7 yr old. I have a 5 year old and as he gets through this, he asks more and more questions. It breaks my heart everytime and makes me understand why people stay for the kids (guilt feelings) but I realize life is not a dress rehearsal and this is it… I am not wasting my life on someone who wants to put me on the back burner after only a couple years of marriage together, taking me (and my salary and health benefits) for granted. Ugh. Great post – thanks so much!!!!

By: mssinglemama

mssinglemama — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 17:04:04 +0000

Very, very well said. Thank you for this comment.

By: Tanya Garrett

Tanya Garrett — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 17:00:29 +0000

This is a wonderful post… and I say that as a former married single mother, former signle mother, and now very happily married co-parenting mother. Been there, done that. My daughter is happiest now (in part because mom is the happiest she's ever been!), but certainly much happier with one stable, happy parent than with two miserable, unstable ones.

By: Louna Cee

Louna Cee — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 23:08:14 +0000

I love this post!!! Great! Oh, Lord, I am addicted to MSM! =

By: Mom_of_2

Mom_of_2 — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 01:12:10 +0000

I've lived in both worlds. I’ve been a "married single mom" (5 years) and an actual single mom (4 years). Yes, there were some great things about being a single mom – for ME, but not necessarily for my children (I have 5 and 3 year old girls). I have to say that for me there were more benefits of being a married single mom, so much so that I remarried my ex-husband and the father of my children, and I have to say that I appreciate my situation so much more second time around. The funny thing is that this is probably because I had the time to discover who I was and how to function without looking to anyone else for my happiness, to live up to my expectations or for support. Now I KNOW I can get it done alone, I KNOW how to make myself happy and content, independent of anyone else. Now I'm so used to doing it alone because I had to, I look at my husband as more a bonus for me, but mostly for my children. My daughters adore their dad and love having him around. I wouldn’t give back being a single mom for the world, because that is ultimately the reason why we work a whole lot better second time around.

By: Bernice

Bernice — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 13:19:26 +0000

I'm glad you have written this b/c my married friends ask how I do it and I say " my life is easier this way" than b4…..and they still don't get it….

By: Munchichi

Munchichi — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 19:26:32 +0000

I'm writing this with my one year old in my lap while my husband is playing XBox. I am miserable and it's because if his inadequacy as a father. He won't change a diaper, he won't clean the house, he doesn't comfort our son when he's crying – he shuts him in his room!, he won't put him to sleep, he won't watch him even so I can take a shower. He works and plays XBox. If he happens to do laundry (once a month, maybe) it's only his laundry. He won't do mine or the baby's.

If I left I'd be fine. I could move back with family, get financial aid to finish my degree, and take my kid to church without having my husband tell me how much crap it is. So why am I so afraid?

By: Munchichi

Munchichi — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 19:12:02 +0000

Thank you, Mike. I'm currently one of the "single married mothers" trying to figure out what is best for me and my son. I've asked my husband for help, even asked him to do specific tasks (like change a diaper once and a while), and all I get in return is yelled at. He works all day, comes home to a cooked meal and a clean house, and plays X-Box until bedtime. No diapers, no playtime, no comforting a crying baby – that's my job. He had to work all day while I "sit at home on my ass" as he tells his friends.

Asking isn't working. Being upset isn't working. I need to do what you say and tell him what he's about to lose. Will things change? Probably not. But at least I can go out knowing that I gave him every opportunity to put on his big-boy pants and act like a man.