When men fall…

by mssinglemama on November 12, 2008

The ice, as you know, was melting.

One week earlier we’d spent another night together at my mom’s house. Curled up on the couch he wrapped his arms around my body, holding me tightly and stroking my hair away from my face while telling me stories and listening so intently to mine.

“Why don’t you shut up and kiss me?” I said.

He burst out laughing. “You’re so blunt. I love it!”

“I know, now kiss me already. What the hell?”

“I just love talking to you, I seriously can’t decide whether I want to kiss you or talk to you.”

“Well, I want a kiss.”

He kisses me so softly, so sweetly and then pulls me into his chest. Then holding me even tighter than before he breathes in deeply and exhales slowly with, “I never thought I could feel this way again.”

Rather than sending me into a panicked state of commitment phobia, his words just sink in. I think it’s the way he tells me about his feelings – with such conviction in his eyes and always in the right moment. And his actions speak volumes…

That afternoon he had taken me to see a musician friend of his. “You have to see this guy. He only plays for friends but he’s one of the best banjo players in the country.” He made the call, arranged for our visit and then took me to his hometown, deep in the hills.

After we were settled Mr. Man’s friend sat down, picked up his banjo and just started playing. His fingers moved so quickly my eyes couldn’t keep up with my ears. And the sound was something I’d never heard before. I’ve heard banjos, I’ve heard blue grass but nothing like this – so close, so clear.

Mr. Man, shouted out song requests and with each one looked over at me, “You have to hear this one.” As the music sucked me in and as I looked at Mr. Man only to find he was looking directly at me, I realized that this was a gift – something he wanted me to experience.

It’s not the only thing he’s given me. He’s given me a renewed hope in men… something I thought I’d completely lost.


Two weeks later, far from the woods, we were in the middle of the city preparing for a night out in a posh little neighborhood with a masquerade street party. We were about to have one of the best nights of our lives and I was about to start falling for Mr. Man.

To be continued…

If you can’t get enough Mr. Man stories, click here for more.

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When men fall… | better-dating.org
November 13, 2008 at 7:01 am

{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

Leah November 12, 2008 at 7:47 pm

I am so totally and completely happy for you. And could completely relate to the part about “falling” more slowly. I feel like I have so much more built in caution now. Thanks for reminding us that it’s safe to love someone 🙂


Kim November 12, 2008 at 8:06 pm

Alaina, I’m loving your stories about Mr. Man. So happy for both of you!


Laura November 12, 2008 at 9:39 pm

This is the coolest thing about blogging – no matter what happens you will have every little detail of this story to remember and re-count and re-live!



Carolyn November 13, 2008 at 5:45 am

You know what’s cool? He can be so honest with you about how he feels. And even more impressive to me is that you can be so honest with him, too, even if it’s not quite what he wants to hear.
I can relate to feeling more cautious, as well.
I think it’s great that the ice is melting, and that you are letting it melt as slowly as it needs to for you to be comfortable. And I bet Mr. Man respects you all the more for it.


T November 13, 2008 at 8:35 am

Just….. YAY!

I’m in love that you’re falling in love!


Lost in Love November 13, 2008 at 8:51 am

So true…when we fall we fall HARD…


Lost in Love November 13, 2008 at 8:52 am

Men that is, when we fall deep.


Katherine (SOLO dot MOM) November 13, 2008 at 8:56 am

Wow, great post…. this IS getting serious 😉


N November 13, 2008 at 9:56 am

Just recently found your blog…and I am loving it! Loving the single mom community that I have found here.

But I have to tell you how completely vulnerable I feel by reading your posts! Not a bad thing! Is it true for so many other single mamas? How completely delicate the balance is when considering relating to a man…again…with a little bitty to consider? Wow.

I’m so happy and hopeful for you and Mr. Man. :O) I will be a devoted subscriber from here on out!


pisceshanna November 13, 2008 at 10:22 am

Ditto to all of the above. This is just amazing watching it unfold. I feel so lucky to be able to witness a real life romance.


Single Mom in New England November 13, 2008 at 10:25 am

That is so wonderful!! …. and I know SO SCARY!! But it just sounds so right when 2 people feel that same fire!1

Just curious — How did you two meet/what’s the mom connection? (cuddling on mom’s couch…) Thanks for also re-instilling our hope for love!! 🙂


QTMama November 13, 2008 at 10:42 am

🙂 Nice catch, MSM.


Kristin November 13, 2008 at 11:50 am

This parallel life thing we’ve got going is kind of starting to freak me out. I’m glad you can write openly about your experience..my hands are a little tied at the moment…


Mike November 13, 2008 at 12:16 pm

As a man, I’ve been there a couple of times. I have to tell you first, congratulations on the new relationship, but second, be careful. Two people have to be on the same page in the relationship. If one is falling faster than the other, there is resentment, or questions about why your not. Your hesitance in saying your as committed as he is shows that your not on the same page yet. Continue to go slow.

Just my humble opinion…


Carol November 13, 2008 at 1:06 pm

This is some of the most trite, cliched writing I’ve ever read- right down to the dumb nickname for your boyfriend. Try having an original thought. And all the followers who encourage this writing should get some lives or take a writing seminar. I certainly won’t be wasting my time on here again.


mssinglemama November 13, 2008 at 1:15 pm

Carol –

Ouch. That hurt. Really. Sorry to have offended you with my awful writing, I’ll be the first to admit my writing is far from perfect. Especially when I’m writing in the middle of the night, exhausted as hell.

Mike –

This post is dated… I can tell you now we are on the same page (at least I think we are). However, it is slower for us single moms – I think it has to be.

Thanks everyone else for your encouragement and well wishes! I’m excited too…


Emily November 13, 2008 at 1:55 pm

I am glad to see that the holier-than-all-the -universe Ms. Carol says she will not be by again. No single mamas need to have that kind of vicious negagivity around! How dare she speak like that to anyone willing to lay their heart and soul out the way you do!! I read your blog for your beautiful honesty – something I really struggle with in my own life and mind. I think your writing is lovely, and anyone who can’t appreciate that should go fly a tree.


littlemansmom November 13, 2008 at 2:36 pm

The more I read about you and Mr. Man…the more I feel like someone out there is just like me and TBM…down to the “I’m crazy about you. I just can’t stop thinking about you. Do you feel the same way at all?” and the “No, not yet, not like that crazy. But, it takes longer for us – for single moms – for me. I can’t just let the rest of the world fall away. I have too many responsibilities. Finding time in the day to even think about you is hard.” and of course the “You’ve got a great shot though, you’re winning more points every day”.

I look forward to you stories….keep them coming! 🙂


Brooke November 13, 2008 at 2:36 pm

Noo….!!! I don’t want it to be continued. I want it to all be there on the page now for me to read! lol I’m an instant gratification junkie.

Mr. Man sounds great! So happy for you. A little worried we may be dating the same man though! lol ;0)


Savored Life November 13, 2008 at 7:22 pm

Methinks you do not have to defend your writing on your OWN blog. sheeesh. That was bizarre.

Anyway….I am just grinning ear to ear for you! 😀 <— that’s me.


Naomi November 13, 2008 at 8:08 pm

wow…it’s like a lifetime movie…single mom, gorgeous man w/ chiseled face and southern drawl, melts her cynical commitment phobic heart with all the words that a woman could want to hear…it almost makes me wanna say well maybe i’ll give dating another chance lol. okay…well…unless this guy has a twin brother, probably not… Congrats on your good fortune. Keeping my fingers crossed for your happily ever after.


mssinglemama November 14, 2008 at 7:38 am

A Life Time movie? Oh no… I better work on my writing. : )

Brooke – sorry to tease you and everyone else – I’m not doing it on purpose, it just takes time to tell a story like this. More coming soon – probably early next week.

Methinks Savored Life rocks and you should all go check out her sweet ass blog.

Little Man’s Mom – so glad you can relate.

And Emily – thank you so much for your comment and your e-mail, really made that bad comment just disappear.


Angel November 14, 2008 at 9:52 am

I’m with Savored Life on this one…. .who the hell does Carol think that he/she is? Dude, save us all some time from having to read your damn non-sense and get a life!


Fraizerbaz November 14, 2008 at 11:23 am

Some people are just jealous, ya know. Don’t let the b@stards get you down. You go girl!


J-Fo November 14, 2008 at 12:09 pm

J-Fo thinks Carol needs to get laid. Badly.

I say hurray for Ms. Single Mama, and hurray for this post!! I just live for shit like this.


LB November 14, 2008 at 4:44 pm

Hi There-

I just found your blog and I love it (I’m also a single mom)!

So excited to have found such a great place for single moms! I cant wait to read the rest of your posts!


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