Comments on: A new frontier. http://mssinglemama.com/2008/11/09/a-new-frontier/ Single Mom Dating? Real advice from a real single mom. Mon, 13 Feb 2012 17:50:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: littlemansmomhttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/11/09/a-new-frontier/#comment-4349 littlemansmom Tue, 11 Nov 2008 14:21:09 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1668#comment-4349 The biggest lesson I learned is to never loose yourself. With my ex...I 'allowed' him to convince me to be who I was not. I strayed from my friends, I became weak and submissive. I was a wreck! If nothing else, I took away from that relationship a new respect for myself. Stand strong, be proud of who you are and stay true to yourself! By they way.....did I mention....I'M SOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!! :) The biggest lesson I learned is to never loose yourself. With my ex…I ‘allowed’ him to convince me to be who I was not. I strayed from my friends, I became weak and submissive. I was a wreck! If nothing else, I took away from that relationship a new respect for myself.

Stand strong, be proud of who you are and stay true to yourself!

By they way…..did I mention….I’M SOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!! :)

]]> By: Brookehttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/11/09/a-new-frontier/#comment-4346 Brooke Mon, 10 Nov 2008 21:44:50 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1668#comment-4346 The biggest lesson I have learned in past relationships is to listen to what your friends and family think of your partner. I've often had relationship "blinders" on and have overlooked very significant details about my partner. It's very convenient. Your friends and family want only the best for you, and can see your partner more clearly. I'm very excited for you and Mr. Man! Congrats! The biggest lesson I have learned in past relationships is to listen to what your friends and family think of your partner. I’ve often had relationship “blinders” on and have overlooked very significant details about my partner. It’s very convenient.

Your friends and family want only the best for you, and can see your partner more clearly.

I’m very excited for you and Mr. Man! Congrats!

]]> By: Juliehttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/11/09/a-new-frontier/#comment-4344 Julie Mon, 10 Nov 2008 21:17:47 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1668#comment-4344 I'm so excited for you! Enjoy it! I’m so excited for you! Enjoy it!

]]> By: SingleParentDadhttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/11/09/a-new-frontier/#comment-4343 SingleParentDad Mon, 10 Nov 2008 20:56:38 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1668#comment-4343 Fantastic stuff, I'm really glad it is working out for you. I have no advice, other than to be yourself, what man could not love that? Fantastic stuff, I’m really glad it is working out for you.

I have no advice, other than to be yourself, what man could not love that?

]]> By: Solomotherhttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/11/09/a-new-frontier/#comment-4342 Solomother Mon, 10 Nov 2008 20:56:31 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1668#comment-4342 Congratulations! It's so hard to date again, isn't it? I've learned to listen to my little voice more, and if I find I'm saying, "Yes, but..." and making excuses for him, then something ss wrong. It was like a brilliant light bulb going off in my head a couple of months ago when a counselor put a label on my boyfriend's behavior. "Emotionally unavailable," she called him, and I stopped trying to fix me and let him go. Feels GREAT! So I guess my advice would be, listen to yourself, and <a>know when to let go.</a> Congratulations! It’s so hard to date again, isn’t it? I’ve learned to listen to my little voice more, and if I find I’m saying, “Yes, but…” and making excuses for him, then something ss wrong. It was like a brilliant light bulb going off in my head a couple of months ago when a counselor put a label on my boyfriend’s behavior. “Emotionally unavailable,” she called him, and I stopped trying to fix me and let him go. Feels GREAT!

So I guess my advice would be, listen to yourself, and know when to let go.

]]> By: pisceshannahttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/11/09/a-new-frontier/#comment-4341 pisceshanna Mon, 10 Nov 2008 19:33:33 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1668#comment-4341 MSM, thanks so much for your constant stream of good advice, soul searching and bravery. I feel guilty for sucking the marrow out of your experiences, but you really are an amazing person, and I'm so glad I can come to your corner of the internet to feel bonded with other single moms. Thanks and congrats on your itemhood. MSM, thanks so much for your constant stream of good advice, soul searching and bravery. I feel guilty for sucking the marrow out of your experiences, but you really are an amazing person, and I’m so glad I can come to your corner of the internet to feel bonded with other single moms.

Thanks and congrats on your itemhood.

]]> By: mssinglemamahttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/11/09/a-new-frontier/#comment-4340 mssinglemama Mon, 10 Nov 2008 18:39:06 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1668#comment-4340 All of this is really, really good advice. T - the O Book actually mentioned this - projection is a HUGE issue, rather they suggest looking at the person in that moment, with new eyes every time. Trying to keep your own ideas about who they are away. I think this is just another of hundreds of reasons of why it's so important to become happily single, comfortable in your own skin before diving into a relationship. Woo Hoo. I've got that one down, that's for sure... And Kit Kat - you're SO right. Don't compromise on that checklist ever because it will come back to bite you in the ass. I can't wait to write more about Mr. Man - you guys are going to freak out. He's just so damn amazing. A truly inspiring person (and he doesn't even know it - he just is who he is). All of this is really, really good advice.

T – the O Book actually mentioned this – projection is a HUGE issue, rather they suggest looking at the person in that moment, with new eyes every time. Trying to keep your own ideas about who they are away.

I think this is just another of hundreds of reasons of why it’s so important to become happily single, comfortable in your own skin before diving into a relationship.

Woo Hoo. I’ve got that one down, that’s for sure…

And Kit Kat – you’re SO right. Don’t compromise on that checklist ever because it will come back to bite you in the ass.

I can’t wait to write more about Mr. Man – you guys are going to freak out. He’s just so damn amazing. A truly inspiring person (and he doesn’t even know it – he just is who he is).

]]> By: Katherine (SOLO dot MOM)http://mssinglemama.com/2008/11/09/a-new-frontier/#comment-4339 Katherine (SOLO dot MOM) Mon, 10 Nov 2008 17:53:55 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1668#comment-4339 First of all I also love T's comment. Now for what positive lesson I have taken from past relationships: One is "Be open-minded but not blind to the things you don't want in your next companion... just because he answers a-c on your checklist... don't forget about d-f." For example, if he's hot, local, and a single dad, but you also find he's codependent and clingy.... perhaps you should keep looking. I think this correlates with "be picky" from the book you noted above. First of all I also love T’s comment.

Now for what positive lesson I have taken from past relationships: One is “Be open-minded but not blind to the things you don’t want in your next companion… just because he answers a-c on your checklist… don’t forget about d-f.” For example, if he’s hot, local, and a single dad, but you also find he’s codependent and clingy…. perhaps you should keep looking. I think this correlates with “be picky” from the book you noted above.

]]> By: Laurahttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/11/09/a-new-frontier/#comment-4338 Laura Mon, 10 Nov 2008 17:21:27 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1668#comment-4338 This is SOOOO totally cool!!! I love what T said - Try to see the person you are with as who they truly are and not who you’d like them to be. This is SOOOO totally cool!!!

I love what T said – Try to see the person you are with as who they truly are and not who you’d like them to be.

]]> By: Single Mom in New Englandhttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/11/09/a-new-frontier/#comment-4337 Single Mom in New England Mon, 10 Nov 2008 17:12:14 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1668#comment-4337 Wow, what I took away from this post was that everything can change in the blink of an eye -- for the better! It was only a month ago that I was reading about your interest in the cabin man in the woods... and as soon as you shut that door, it seems Mr. Right showed up on your doorstep!! Gives me hope for the future... You never know what's right around the corner!! Thanks for sharing... I am also excited for you as you venture on this new chapter in your life. It sounds like this man has a lot to give!! :) Wow, what I took away from this post was that everything can change in the blink of an eye — for the better! It was only a month ago that I was reading about your interest in the cabin man in the woods… and as soon as you shut that door, it seems Mr. Right showed up on your doorstep!! Gives me hope for the future… You never know what’s right around the corner!! Thanks for sharing… I am also excited for you as you venture on this new chapter in your life. It sounds like this man has a lot to give!! :)

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