Pleased to meet you.

by mssinglemama on November 7, 2008

We met at the bar my mother and I used to frequent after my father died.

Mom and I were there this time, not to drown our sorrows, but to celebrate her birthday. As soon as we stepped inside she took off for the patio and I took the only empty seat at the bar – right next to Mr. Man.

His southern drawl told me immediately he was a townie, a working stiff, the real deal. Incompatible, I thought. I’m a city girl, constantly attached to some kind of electronic device. Or maybe we could work, this thought didn’t come until later after I’d left him at the bar and returned nearly an hour later to find him discreetly holding my seat, waiting for me to come back.

Only then did I really look into his eyes and realize that this man wasn’t kidding around or playing me, he was serious. Beneath his rough exterior I saw a soft, strong heart and something very comforting, familiar almost. We talked for hours there at the bar. What shocked me the most, after years now of dating so many of those fish in that big bad sea, was his genuine interest in listening to what I had to say.

And he responded to my thoughts, not with fantastical stories but with stories that related to mine, stories he told because he wanted to share them with me not because he wanted to prove something or get me into bed.

Three hours later, near closing time, Mom started gesturing behind his head, pointing to him with her thumb high in the air and mouthing, “I like him.” A few moments later she invited him back to her house. I, completely intoxicated at this point, threw out all logic and went along with the plan. We’d go home and wake up my uncle and Mom’s man, Larry and have a little party. It would be great!

Yeah, sure, keep talking drunk Alaina.

Had we not taken him home that night I’m not quite sure if I ever would have seen him again. In fact, I’m almost certain I would have just brushed him off… disregarding him as just another guy at another bar.

After talking deep into the night, I settled Mr. Man into the guest bedroom and headed upstairs to sleep with Benjamin. I woke up just a few hours later with a vicious headache. (I really don’t drink that often, so my hangovers are horrible when I do.) Only after rubbing my eyes and crawling out of bed to chase after Benjamin did I realize – to my horror – what had happened the night before. I had brought a man home! Seriously?

“Holy shit,” my brain was on fire, “What in the hell am I going to do? There’s a man. Here. In my mom’s house with my son. I am such a shitty, shitty mother.”

I started plotting some way to hide him. I’ll sneak him out the back door and take him home. But first, I’ve got to feed Benjamin. So I quietly made the eggs, the bacon and the biscuits – standard breakfast out in the woods at Mom’s. And then I heard his footsteps, coming up the stairs. Damn, he wakes up early.

And then there he was…

“Hello, Benjamin. How are you?” And just like that, Mr. Man leaned onto the counter and immediately dove right in to Benjamin Land.

He’d remembered his name from the night before on the couch. He had kissed me there after telling me he wanted to spend all of Sunday with us — he had offered to take Benjamin outside for a hike so I could rest. Could he have meant all of that? Really?

Moments after Benjamin finished his last bite Mr. Man scooped him up like a little stuffed animal, so light in his big arms, “C’mon, Benjamin, let’s go outside.” Apparently so.

I watched from the deck as he took Benjamin around the yard – pointing out the different trees, little animal tracks and hidden bee hives – things I never would have noticed or known to show him myself. I love the outdoors but I don’t know what the hell is what. Benjamin was enthralled – absolutely enthralled with this man – in fact, I’ve never seen him fall for an adult like he did for Mr. Man.

Oh shit. You shitty, shitty mom.

“You can’t really be here all day,” I told him later.

“Really? Why not?”

“Oh, it’s not that I don’t like you, I do – it’s just Benjamin. You can’t be around him too much, he’ll get attached.” I explain.

“You know what – you’re right, I can see how that could happen. But I’m more worried that I’ll get attached to him. This kid’s awesome. He really is. He’s just amazing.”

An hour later he was still there, we had taken a hike and afterwards Mr. Man had found Larry and my uncle by the campfire. I had been upstairs tucking Benjamin in for a nap when I came down to join them.

That’s when he held me with his eyes. Right there by the campfire with everyone chattering around us, he just looked at me and told me – without saying a word – “I’m here. I like you. And I’m not going anywhere – unless you tell me to.”

He nearly knocked me off of my little log stool. I swear, I still don’t know how he did that…

To be continued… Read the next Mr. Man installment here.

[Photo credit: Paul Schmaltz]

{ 5 trackbacks }

Why I really can’t blog about my kid « O Solo Mama
November 8, 2008 at 5:15 pm
A new frontier.
November 9, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Food for thought.
November 12, 2008 at 6:32 am
Food for thought. |
November 12, 2008 at 7:11 am
The End.
December 11, 2008 at 8:12 pm

{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

Katherine (SOLO dot MOM) November 7, 2008 at 7:01 am

WOW….. can’t say anything else…. just wow….

Looking forward to hearing more of Mr. Man’s story…. you sound like you are getting swept here… just sayin…


Marta November 7, 2008 at 7:10 am

OK seriously, I’m sitting at my desk at work with tears in my eyes….Love the story and I can’t wait to hear more. You truly give me hope that “the one” is out there for me, and one day I hope to have beautiful stories like yours to blog about. Enjoy it all girl, you and Benjamin deserve it!


Carolyn November 7, 2008 at 7:14 am

I want a Mr. Man! lol


Wyliekat November 7, 2008 at 7:23 am

That’s a beautiful love story.


T November 7, 2008 at 8:01 am

Wow. Just… WOW.


k November 7, 2008 at 8:01 am

wow, seriously wow!
I realize ‘meeting at a bar’ doesn’t sound romantic, but you sure made it sound great!
I love hearing how people met, their first kiss. I find that stuff stupidly romantic. After my boyfriend first kissed me, I wanted to throw up on him, and I was sober. Um, ya, not too romantic eh? Needless to say – we get over the initial shock of someone we meet and like – and learn to enjoy 🙂


Laura November 7, 2008 at 8:30 am

Oh man this is such an amazing story!!!!!!



Calleah November 7, 2008 at 8:58 am

this is so very heart warming and i’m so happy for you. it couldn’t have happened to a better person. 🙂


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Lost in Love November 7, 2008 at 9:54 am

Wow…and I thought I was a GREAT guy…this guy makes us all be better people.


mssinglemama November 7, 2008 at 11:20 am

I’m so glad I’m not the only one thinking, “Wow.” Believe me though – it took me a while to really feel that “Wow.”

Anyway, glad you all like him as much as I do. : ) And there will be much, much more to come.


Cat November 7, 2008 at 11:21 am

Loving this Mr. Man already! Can’t wait to hear more 😉


pisceshanna November 7, 2008 at 11:21 am

OMG the anticipation is killing me, I’ve got chills. Am i reading a fairy tale? Do these guys exist? 🙂 YAY!!!


Leah November 7, 2008 at 12:29 pm

I am such a romantic and I just LOVED reading this story. Wishing you and MM a beautiful unfolding relationship… and hey! You’ve already gotten over one potential hurdle because your mom already approves 🙂


Brooke November 7, 2008 at 5:22 pm

Ohhh….sounds fantastic. He sounds like a good, good man.


Majeeur February 5, 2015 at 11:55 am

Ya learn sohnimteg new everyday. It’s true I guess!


Katie November 8, 2008 at 4:51 am

OMG. First of all, what a wonderful lovely man for you. So happy for you and Benjamin. Secondly, does he have a brother you could send our way? 🙂


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Annette Fix November 8, 2008 at 2:49 pm

OMG! What a great story! He sounds like the real deal. I found the exact same kind of guy. Hang on for the ride. It went sooo fast. Met him in the end of Oct., first date in Nov., he moved in by Christmas, we were engaged by June, married the following August. The 6-year anniversary of our first date is Nov. 20 and we’re still galloping toward happily-ever-after. There really are princes out there and it sounds like you found one! Can’t wait to read more as your story unfolds! Good luck!


A November 8, 2008 at 3:54 pm

All I can say is congratulations!! lol. hope that doesn’t sound silly. Can’t wait to read part II …….. 🙂


Nicolas February 4, 2015 at 10:41 am

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A November 8, 2008 at 3:55 pm

all i can say is congratulations!! lol hope that doesn’t sound silly. can’t wait to read pt II ….. 🙂


ModernSingleMomma November 8, 2008 at 7:05 pm

Do you know how happy I am for you that you have a Mr. Man? This caliber of a gentleman always blinds sides you, don’t they!? You never see it coming….but oh I hope! hope! hope! us four get to hang out next weekend in Lexington– You, Mr. Man, Me, MY Man….
do you think we could convince them to appear in a special MsSingleMama/ModernSingleMomma video?



littlemansmom November 9, 2008 at 9:19 am

I’m soooooooooooooooo pleased for you!!!! That is simpy a wonderful story, and he sounds like a wonderful gentleman. 🙂


Ms. Elmore November 11, 2008 at 8:38 am

This Mr. Man IS THE REAL DEAL. He is in my family and he is a wonderful adorable man. He’s unlike the typical man, he’s “best friend” material. He has a smile that is genuine, a heart the size of the sun and he will be your cheerleader, way after the game is over. Tread carefully on his heart, for he is loved and adored by the ‘other girls’ in his life (wink…family of course)…

Good luck on your journey together, be sweet and enjoy yourselves…

Mr. Man’s biggest fan…


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