The Rabbit Hole

by mssinglemama on November 2, 2008

Things are busy – as always.

I just want you to know that I’m reading each and every one of your comments.

There are just so many that if I can’t respond to them all, I’d rather not respond to any. Is that crazy? But know this – I am reading each and every one and loving them all. More than loving, your comments are better than vitamins.

Especially in the Ultimate Single Mom Contest – the comments are absolutely amazing. If you haven’t left a comment yet, do it today because I’m drawing a name Thursday night for a free iHeartSingleParents t-shirt. I’ll announce the winner on Monday with a video. Benjamin will be pulling a name out of a hat.

I am also trying to find the time to make my next advice video (have to come up with a name for them, if you have any ideas, let me know). Over 400 of you have watched the first video on How to Get Over Your Ex so either, you’re all laughing at me or you like it – regardless, I’ll be making more… soon.

Back to the busy thing. Over the course of the past few months I have discovered more single mom blogs than I can count. There’s no way to tell for certain, but I think the single parent blogosphere is exploding.

Here are three new single mom blogger you have to check out.

Each of these posts had me at hello. Seriously, get clicking.

  • Irascible Crayons says forgiveness is the best revenge. I couldn’t agree more. This post had me beaming and pumping my fist in the air. Fantastic.
  • Bad Mummy, No Cookie wrote a brutally honest piece recently on her habit of sleeping with men too soon. We’ve all been there and this piece captures those raw emotions.
  • And if anyone has ever said, “I’m sorry to hear that,” after you inform them that you are a single mother, read this post by Little Country Girl.

“I don’t think you’ve ever really been in love.”

Mr. Man tells me this as I sit cross-legged on the couch, our knees are touching and he is holding my hands in his. This is his conclusion after weeks of us talking and learning about each other’s checkered pasts – the pasts that led us together in this moment.

“It just doesn’t sound like a man has ever treated you right in your life, ” he says as he looks into my eyes. I dart them to the ground as I realize how right he is.

“You must be scared as hell, ” he says.

He’s absolutely right. I feel my armor thicken as I respond, “It’s true. Every experience I’ve had with a man has ended with me on the losing end, financially, emotionally – all around.”

Mr. Man bears a close resemblance to Heath Ledger. Think Heath Ledger in Broke Back Mountain – not gay (obviously) and no long hair but with the thick southern drawl, the chiseled arms, the defined chin and cheekbones. Mr. Man is all man. His flannel shirt sleeves hang over his weathered hands, which are twice the size of mine – not in length but in width. He used them to take my garbage out the other night.

“It’s okay,” I said impulsively, “I can get it.”

“No – I’m getting it.” He pauses and looks at my face that’s now softened into shocked appreciation. “Gosh, you really haven’t had anyone help you out before have you?” No, I shake my head.

“These city boys must be weak or something.”

He lifts my trash as if it’s a feather and hauls it outside. I’m still in shock. He just helps out, without being asked. Maybe it’s because he’s a single father or maybe he’s just a gentleman. Regardless, I’m definitely falling into that rabbit hole.

There’s much, much more… but again – still trying to keep this one close to my chest as one of you told me, “Let it bloom.”

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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

Carolina November 2, 2008 at 3:52 pm

I’m so happy for you!! It’s about time you meet someone worthy of your time!


Jay November 2, 2008 at 6:17 pm

Come give me some inspiration!!

I’ve been a single father to my daughter for almost 7 years…brand new to blogging…have no idea what I am doing.

Please come to my brand new blog…

I think I have a test blog you can leave a reply and let me know SOMEONE IS OUT THERE

I love reading mssinglemama!! Glad you met someone nice:)



Katie November 2, 2008 at 7:01 pm

Aww, that is so sweet. And you and he give me hope, please tell me there are still some good guys out there, cause I am quickly losing my faith over here. Sigh, at least my little man is still a sweetie pie.


Anna November 2, 2008 at 7:37 pm

It is so nice to hear that there are still good men AVAILABLE in this world…keep us in the loop! πŸ˜‰


Laura November 2, 2008 at 8:41 pm

This guy sounds so super cool!!!!

And you sound super happy πŸ™‚

Enjoy it!!!!!


solo mama November 3, 2008 at 7:20 am

This is how we are supposed to be treated…it will take some getting used to, trust me. I’ve found my Mr. Man and it was and still is hard to get used to–being treated with respect and compromise, that is. We are used to being with the “bad boys” and having to struggle and fight for attention and support that we forget that “good guys” really do exist.

Good Luck with’s funny what happens once we loosen our grip a little, huh???


Wyliekat November 3, 2008 at 8:55 am

You deserve to be treated this well. Learning that is one of the hardest things to do when you’ve always been taught (by experience) that you don’t deserve it.


Calleah November 3, 2008 at 11:06 am

I am so happy for you!


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Single Dad Seeking November 3, 2008 at 11:22 am

Sounds very sweet, I hope it works out.


Mike November 3, 2008 at 12:03 pm

Yeaa for you. There aren’t very many of us “good guys” left in the world. Remember, it’s alright to be a “little” cautious but don’t let him get fustrated because you don’t let him in. He sounds like he’s got you pegged…


pisceshanna November 3, 2008 at 12:25 pm

I hope this blooms into the biggest Bird of Paradise flower imaginable. πŸ™‚


Leah November 3, 2008 at 1:01 pm

I so understand that armored feeling and not wanting to admit that some help would be nice. We have gotten so used to doing it all on our own, haven’t we? I’m so glad that you have connected with someone who treats you with kindness and respect. It’s encouraging to know that some of these gems are still out there πŸ™‚


T November 3, 2008 at 3:22 pm

Yes girl. Let it bloom.

Nurture it , care for it and be patient with it. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Still, its nice to have someone see you right through that armor, isn’t it?

He sounds wonderful. We’ll all cheering for you!


April November 3, 2008 at 8:12 pm

Aw, man! I had to miss some entries. Is this Cabin guy?


mssinglemama November 4, 2008 at 1:59 am

Your words mean so much right now… and you’re right – he IS a good one and there are still good ones left. Actually, he has quite a few friends. : )

April – no, not cabin man. You’re the second person to ask! But, nope… not him.


littlemansmom November 4, 2008 at 9:08 am

I’m sooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited for you!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fall lady…fall! (just put that parachute on for a ‘sence’ of security…but fall deep… πŸ™‚


Elisbeth February 5, 2015 at 3:14 am

Hi 2KM & 2KJ,I know that Rememberance Day is a special day where we take a litlte bit of time to remember the men and women that fought, and sometimes died, for our country in various wars.Did you know that originally the 11th of November was the day that marked the end of World War 1 in 1918? It was called Armistice Day.These days there is often a service to remember people who have fought in wars. They read The Ode’ which is part of a longer poem and play two bugle calls named The Last Post’ and The Rouse’.Have you heard them before, or know what they represent? Maybe you can find out.Oh, I almost forget the second part of your question. At 11:11am I was having a cup of coffee and I’m pretty confident that at 11:11pm I’ll be in bed asleep!fromMr de Been3MD


KE November 4, 2008 at 11:53 am

I am surprised about all this praise. How low can you go with you expectations? Just because he takes out the garbage, doesn’t make him “THE MAN”, it only makes him the-garbage-man! Aim for more and do not get swiped off your feet by easy to impress tactics. Does he wash dishes, too? That would fall under the same “look at me” strategy/category!


mssinglemama November 4, 2008 at 2:58 pm

KE – actually, this is just the tip of the iceberg, this post is just one example but I think small gestures like these actually stack up to equal a lot.

He actually does wash dishes, cooks and does laundry. All HUGE pluses for a single mom – believe me.

There’s much more to this story so I guess you’ll all just have to trust me on this one – but I will be clarifying more in the future.


Zandria November 6, 2008 at 10:33 am

I love that scenario with him taking out the garbage — just basically saying, “I’m going to get it.”

I had a similar experience with a guy I’m dating. He was going into work today later than usual, so last night he said, “I’ll drive you to work in the morning.”

I said, “Oh, no, that’s okay. It’s out of your way. You can drop me off at the Metro if you want –”

“No,” he said. “I’m taking you.”

So I shut up and stopped fighting. πŸ™‚


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KE November 6, 2008 at 10:36 am

I understand that these gestures are huge pluses for actually anybody…..That’s why these services are available for hire, heck, you can even buy sexual favors for that matter.
Get a maid for these services, but hang with somebody that lifts your spirit, not your garbage. As long as he does that, too – good!
Aim higher!


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