The Ultimate Single Mom Contest

by mssinglemama on October 25, 2008

You all rock. Single moms rock. Blogging rocks.

So let’s have a little contest, shall we?

UPDATE: This contest is now closed… thanks everyone for your comments!!! I’ll be announcing the winner on Monday, November 3 with a video of Benjamin picking the winner’s name. FUN! Thanks again… if you would still like to leave a comment about being a single mom, by all means – comment away.

Maybe we’ll piss off even more haters… or maybe I will. Not quite sure but I could care less. My main mission with this blog is to give each and every one of you – my single mom readers – an extra ounce of confidence, maybe an extra ounce of pride and hopefully the ability to rise up to the occasion and feel empowered by your single motherhood.

I know it sucks.

I know it’s not easy.

But we can make the best of it, right?

If we can’t – than our children suffer. So, in my eyes, making the best of it is necessary to surviving this madness. Easier said than done, I know. It took me over one year to snap out of my new single mom funk and wake up to the realization that I could do this – not only do it, but do it well. That year felt like an eternity.

The contest:

Tell me one bright side to being a single mother.

Just one. Even if you hate being a single mom – tell me one thing that makes you happy. That’s it. Just one – could be anything, from dating, the house, the kids or work.

The prize:

I couldn’t help but notice (thanks to my site stats) that quite a few of you are interested in the iHeartSingleParents tank tops and t-shirts. So the winner gets to pick out their favorite and I’ll have it shipped to you. The one you see here is Benjamin’s favorite. If you haven’t joined iHeartSingleParents – the first and greatest single parents social network – get over there.

The tank tops run small but there are larger sized t-shirts as well. Surf them all here.

I’m picking the winner randomly - so again, even one little squeak of a comment will qualify you – but feel free to leave a long-winded one as well or even enter a blog post on the topic.

Deadline: Thursday, October 30 at 9:00 p.m. (ET)

Related posts:

  1. The ultimate prize: a single mom.
  2. The ultimate single dad.
  3. Flatten Your Fear Contest Winners!
  4. Single Mamas for Obama
  5. Single Moms & Dating (the video)

{ 3 trackbacks }

Better than vitamins.
October 29, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Mr. [Blank] - Your turn…
October 30, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Better than vitamins. | better-dating.org
November 8, 2008 at 4:38 am

{ 57 comments… read them below or add one }

Jessica H October 25, 2008 at 7:24 pm

Best thing about being a single mom?

A tie between not having to deal with his dead-beat father & Never having to share the love my son gives me. It’s mine! All Mine!

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Carolyn October 25, 2008 at 7:34 pm

I get to listen to music I like while taking a bath with no interruptions (once the kids are asleep, that is). Nice.

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Jamie October 25, 2008 at 8:36 pm

The snuggly bedtime kisses, warm hugs, and the sweetest *I love you’s* ever.

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Laura October 25, 2008 at 8:43 pm

Knowing that my son is going to grow up seeing me be the strong mom I want him to see.

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SingleMomRebecca October 25, 2008 at 9:32 pm

I enjoying have the whole house to myself when the kids are with their dad. I can keep the place exactly the way I want it to be. There used to be a lot of clutter since my ex was a pack-rat but no more. It feels good to have “control” over the household again and everything is on “my terms”! That’s a great feeling!!

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Cyndi October 25, 2008 at 9:41 pm

Only having to clean up after one child now, a small one.

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christine October 25, 2008 at 10:35 pm

watching ridiculous movies without hearing the complaints or judgment.


i just discovered your blog last night, and it has been so reassuring to me. my husband and i just separated last month, and its been one of the hardest things i’ve ever gone through in my life. thank you for showing me the other side of this dark time.

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Savored Life October 26, 2008 at 1:49 am

KNOWING that everything happens for a reason…

Yeah, I married a ROYAL douche bag…but had I not, I wouldn’t be Super Mom to the three most amazing accomplishments I have ever had! (and I was smart enough to get OUT of that mess of a “relationship”.)

Rock On, Single Moms!!

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Laura October 26, 2008 at 2:51 am

I actually cant pick one! I am totally loving being a single mom right now!

I love when the sneak into my bed and hold their breathe so they think I wont hear them.

I love watching the incredible bond forming between the 2 of them and me! Its like we a little tag team agains the world and we wont let anybody hurt us!

I love seeing them draw pics of me SMILING (I used to be crying).

I love hearing them tell their dad – MY MOM….

I love being able to share special moments with them – just me!

I love when I get ready to go out and Kiara says “MOM you look FANTASTIC!!”

I know you said just one – but I cant choose just one and could really carry on!

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mamaandthecity October 26, 2008 at 5:50 am

So far the best thing is I get to plan our schedule without checking his work schedule. We’re free to do what we want when we want!

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Beth October 26, 2008 at 7:30 am

As a single mom, you get to make all the decisions about stuff like family vacations. Even more importantly, you get to experience all the firsts with your child; first time in the snow, first time camping, first time at Disneyland, first day of kindergarten, first loose tooth, you name it… just being able to experience these things one-on-one, just you and your child, is priceless.

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Rebs October 26, 2008 at 9:01 am

Easy!

No longer have to dress my daughter in the hideous clothes his mother has knitted.

http://badmummynocookie.blogspot.com/2008/03/why-i-love-being-single-mom.html

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Dana October 26, 2008 at 9:21 am

The confidence I’ve gained from doing something ALONE that I never, ever thought I would be able to do.

That confidence will be a gift to my son one day.

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Erin October 26, 2008 at 9:34 am

Everytime my daughter says mommy. It is the sweetest sounding word in the world.

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Katie October 26, 2008 at 11:42 am

Let’s see only having to raise the child, that I gave birth too. Just kidding. Probably that I have him the majority of the time, so I get the majority of the hugs, kisses, I love you mommies, etc.

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Amy In Sedona October 26, 2008 at 12:09 pm

Eventhough I keep up a 40 hour a week, preschool job, Clean house, and Dirty house I can read to Rian an extra 20 Minutes later than usual bedtime because she is learning to talk and when Im at that last line of “Papa and Mama kissed him” from “Goodnight, Thumper” she kisses the book then looks at me and puckers her lips for a kiss from mommy!!! That is what keeps me going and gives me the confidence that Im doing this the right way!

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Cheryl October 26, 2008 at 2:37 pm

There are a lot of wonderful things, many of which have been listed above. I think the thing that makes my job as single mother “easiest” (and also hardest in some ways) is that I don’t have to argue w/ anyone about the choices I make for my daughter… the decisions are solely mine.

Other than that? I’m just so frackin’ grateful that I got knocked up at the age of 38 & gave birth at the tender age of 39… one year and one month before my mother died. I know she sent my daughter to me in cahoots w/ my grandmother. And I thank G-d for Dexy every single day for keeping me in good spirits & wrapped up in her sweet, cute, goofy, silly brand of Baby Love.

Cheers!

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Valerie October 26, 2008 at 3:07 pm

It is impossible for me to be sad with my son around. He is always entertaining. It is so great to watch him learn new things and see his sense of accomplishment. I also love having the house the way I want it and not having my ex around arguing with me all the time.

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April October 26, 2008 at 5:02 pm

I love being able to just watch my daughter sleep without someone saying “Would you stop it?”

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dancingmom October 26, 2008 at 6:00 pm

I love that I get to raise my sons in a house without fighting, infidelity, rage, alcoholism, narcissism…oh, I could go on and on.

I just found your blog today — I will be back often. Than you!

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Jami October 26, 2008 at 7:38 pm

My son told me today that he is proud of me for never giving up…I just about cried. I love that as a single mom, I can show my boy that a woman can be strong and capable. I am thankful that the circumstance of being a single mom has never been a negative thing for my son and me.

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Modern SIngle Momma October 26, 2008 at 8:30 pm

Alaina, you are fabulous.
Thank you for all the love you give iHeart. iHeartSingleParents majorly loves you right back.

Can’t wait to see who wins the shirt. You should tell them to send a pic of their kiddo in it and we’ll highlight it on iHeart too.

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Leah October 26, 2008 at 8:34 pm

This single parenthood journey has made me stronger and more resilient than I ever could have imagined.

Oh, and the hugs and kisses that I get all to myself.

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Anna October 26, 2008 at 11:12 pm

Let’s see…no one second guesses my parenting choices, I only have to cook/clean/launder when I want to, no arguements about where to be when or who’s weekend it is…

The list could go on forever! ;-)

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Katherine (SOLO dot MOM) October 27, 2008 at 5:53 am

I share points about being happy as a single mom in my blog earlier this year… http://kitkat4real.blogspot.com/2008/07/single-and-loving-it-too-much.html.

My list of making my own decisions and getting to do what I wanted when I wanted… continued endlessly.
But one of my last main points was for single parents to….
Be happy, content and positive in (their) outlook in (their) current position in life, even if that means embracing being single. Live life to the fullest, and make a difference in “(their) world” being proactive with (their) dreams and goals in the present instead of waiting for the perfect “man or woman” to come along.

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Jolene October 27, 2008 at 6:17 am

I love letting my kids run around the house screaming at the top of their lungs laughing and chasing eachother without having my Ex yell at them for making too much noise. He hated that…. I let them do it daily. :)

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Kameryn April 1, 2014 at 9:16 pm

Felt so hopeless looking for answers to my qu.euionss..tntil now.

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Wyliekat October 27, 2008 at 7:29 am

For me, being a single mother (though I’m not anymore), gives you the opportunity to find a better role model for your child/ren than the one who helped spawn them.

Among other things.

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Missy October 27, 2008 at 7:33 am

Being a single mom is like ordering a dessert alone. It comes with one spoon and you relish in every decadent mouthful without having to share with anyone. I get to witness all my daughter’s firsts’. Sure, her dad will get to enjoy her life too, but I get to live it moment by moment and savor every sweet morsel. Yummo!

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JENN (HUNTER'S MOM) October 27, 2008 at 7:46 am

Alaina,

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your site. You have comforted and inspired me every time I read your blog.

I have to say for me its knowing that my son will have a happy and alot less stressful life without all his father’s sadistic, malicious verbal abuse and with a happy mommy!

Even though since money is tight, I am living with my parents right now (we left my ex in august), I know that I can do this myself because I have already done it alone since day one!! My ex NEVER helped me with my son. I did all the housework, finances and child care. My ex was only good for cooking dinner (it was real fattening stuff which both of us will be better off without).

Hunter is only 2 so I hope he will forget the badness and now that his father is nice to him (I hope it will stay that way) because he only sees him 9 hours a week (2hrs mon, 2hrs wed, 5 hrs sat).

Happy Halloween everyone! :-)

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Lynn October 27, 2008 at 7:56 am

The best thing about being a single parent? My son. I get to raise this beautiful little boy into a man, to share all those wonderful moments with him. To be his mother, friend, confidante, playmate, destroyer of evil, protector of all stuffed animals, juice giver, and love distributor. Every day with him makes me a better person and makes it that much harder to be without him.

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Leslie October 27, 2008 at 8:11 am

Snuggling in on a chilly night into a bed that’s too full for anyone else and just perfect with a long legged kid, the cat, and a horde of stuffed animals – who obviously want to watch them movie with us. Even waking up with a 1 x 1 piece of blanket covering me is okay because everything I love is in one place and it’s not an inconvenience.

Also, wearing our pjs all day if we want :)

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Angel October 27, 2008 at 9:16 am

Waking up on Saturday morning to my daughter’s beautiful smile and saying “good morning, Mom!”. It’s the BEST!

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QTMama October 27, 2008 at 9:22 am

The best thing about being a single mom?

Telling others. Not only am I single mom, but I’m a damn PROUD single mom.

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PT-LawMom October 27, 2008 at 12:09 pm

Gosh, there are so many I’m discovering. Like when my son crawls into bed with me every morning at 6 a.m. for 15 minutes of cuddle time before we both get up for the day. Or any of the special life moments I get to experience with him that are beautiful because his Dad isn’t there to belittle him or me and shatter the fun. We dance in the rain, draw chalk figures on the driveway, giggle at silly cartoons, read books for hours, play Reader Rabbit together. He’s the best and I enjoy him so much more without the distraction of my former spouse.

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jenn October 27, 2008 at 1:44 pm

Hmmm… There are several reasons. I don’t have to worry about someone else’s plans so I can take my daughter to the zoo and the pumpkin patch all in one weekend. The quiet time after she’s in bed – I can clean or not clean and watch any show I want to. I think just the fact that I’m in control and don’t have to check with someone else before making decisions. That would be hard to give up when it comes to my daughter. I would have to be the right guy. And the fact that I can show my daughter that you don’t have to have a man to be complete. You can be happy and strong without one, or with one. Maybe that will keep her from settling for the wrong guy someday.

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mssinglemama October 27, 2008 at 3:56 pm

I LOVE these – don’t you?

I thought of another one tonight…

I love being a single mom because even a small feat like conquering the grocery store with a toddler can make you feel like a super woman. A super woman I tell ya! We rock.

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Kristina October 27, 2008 at 5:31 pm

I one thing that makes me happy is looking at my son and knowing that I myself am raising a man that will never in his life treat a woman like is dad treated me. Knowing that I can break that makes me very proud to be a single mom.

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Treemama October 28, 2008 at 5:11 pm

Being a steady voice and presence for the girls instead of an unstable one.

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Kat October 28, 2008 at 6:55 pm

Knowing that my sons have grown up to be really awesome young men, smart, polite, generous, caring, and respectful of women, because it was me raising them on my own for the last 15 years.
I made them the exceptional young men they are right now, and the great men they will someday be.
I’m so proud of who they have become, knowing that I did that, that my influence has made them who they are, is really pretty awesome.

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Jen October 28, 2008 at 7:56 pm

What do I love about being a single mom?
Six months ago, I’m not sure I could have answered this question. But I love that I am building a relationship with my son that his father (my ex-husband) will never have. He trusts and loves me wholeheartedly and knows that even though I might have bad moments, I love him unconditionally and with my whole being. I also love that I learn something new about myself every single day – whether it be the small, simple things or the big profound things that I learn the hard way. Being a single mom is an awesome experience.

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McKessidy October 28, 2008 at 8:10 pm

I love that I’ve become the person I never thought I could be….strong, safe, healthy, and able to make choices for myself and my girls.

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Lex October 28, 2008 at 9:06 pm

I like knowing that for the first time in my life I can totally depend on myself.

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J-MA October 28, 2008 at 9:37 pm

So many things.. such little space hehe!

LOVE – seeing that all the awesome things my babes has learnt/does/knows is because of what I have taught her ;o) Also knowing in myself that i am worth it.. worth all the pain and hurt that i felt when he decided to leave.. and after it all im the one sitting on the pedestal with this beautiful little being going through life as i never would have imagined it to be.. x

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Steve October 28, 2008 at 11:29 pm

All the precious moments I get to experience with my awesome little princess!!

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Brooke October 29, 2008 at 9:04 am

I LOVE being a single mama, because all of the time I have with my son is MY time. It is quality one on one time with my boy. And I love showing him by example that no matter what struggles you face in life, they can be overcome.

Great blog, btw!

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Gina October 29, 2008 at 9:30 am

Like the others, I have a hard time picking just one. While I can’t say I at all like being single, I do like being a single mom. I have been so since my son was almost 2 so I’m pretty used to it. He’s going on 13 now (gasp!!), and is the absolute light of my life.

I cherish all the things that everyone has listed so far… But I guess the moment that really made me choke up was just a few months ago, when my mother told me that in a conversation about choices she and my son were in, my son had smiled and said “My mom’s a straight arrow.” It may sound weird out of context, but I knew immediately what he was saying and it makes me feel so proud every time I think about it.

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candy October 29, 2008 at 1:13 pm

I love making the decisions for my son and I and not being second guessed. It’s not always easy and they are not always right, but they are mine and that feels good.

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littlemansmom October 29, 2008 at 7:39 pm

Clearly mommy-and-me nights. Nothing like having your child grow up and actually REQUEST spending time with you, creating a bond of love so strong and secure. Littleman is almost 9 and still loves our mommie-and-me nights….He requests them almost every weekend. I hope they last, and last, and last.

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Julie October 30, 2008 at 6:23 am

I love so many things about being a single mom, I don’t where to begin…I am so proud that my daughter has a strong mother who isn’t afraid to live life on her own. I also love that there is no fighting with my ex in front of my daughter, no more listening to his belittling comments about me, no more walking on eggshells around him, no more constantly being afraid he will explode at me for the littlest thing. Without him, I found my self again. i remember what made me, me. I’ve spent more time with old friends and my family lately. And I’ve made new friends I never would have if I had stayed with him. I also love that my time with my daughter is my own. We can stay in our pjs all day if we want, eat pumpkin cookies for breakfast, and spend all day at the park if we want. This isn’t how I planned life to be or even how I wanted it to be, but now I wouldn’t change it.

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goin-crazy October 30, 2008 at 7:58 am

I love being a single momma because nothing else seems “as bad”. If I can be a single momma, I can be anything.

I love being a single momma because my kids inspire me to do better and be better. There is no giving up. I cannot teach my kids to keep going if I am not going to do the same thing.

I love being a single momma because my son (even with the absence of a regular male role model) is a little ladies man. He is sweet and considerate and tells me that I look really pretty or I smell good. He tells me that he loves my face and he loves my smell.

I love being a single momma because I am less judgemental and more tolerant. How can I judge or criticize another single parent because of how they chose to handle their situation? How can I expect every single parent to be strong, smart, put-together and having all the answers?

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Alexis October 30, 2008 at 9:28 am

I LOVE having this unbelievable opportunity to watch, create,and feel this MOST incredible bond between my little 2 year old son and myself! Being a single mama is allowing our bond to be so exquisitley beautiful! It wouldn’t be possible if we had to share each other with someone else.

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April October 30, 2008 at 10:32 am

There are plenty of pithy remarks I could make:

Control over the remote after the kids are in bed.

The toilet seat’s always down.

Having one less human to nurture.

Control over the music in the car.

But my real answer is:

Snuggle time. The three of us, on my bed, knowing there’s no one else we’d rather be with.

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momcat October 30, 2008 at 12:57 pm

my house is mine again. it’s calm and (okay, somewhat) clean and every room is now arranged so that babygirl can work/play while i cook, read, or futz nearby. it feels good to live in a home that smells like orange essential oil instead of like mr. can’t-bother-to-wipe-his-own-butt.

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Tisha October 30, 2008 at 3:58 pm

I love all the hugs and kisses and the TE AMO’s (I lOVE YOUs)

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Leah October 31, 2008 at 6:07 am

Did I not yet have my coffee this morning, or have you not yet declared the winner, MSM? :)

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Leah October 31, 2008 at 8:29 am

oh never mind. I did not have my coffee, just saw where you posted this now! :)

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