Men, men, men.
Leah, of Mama Dharma.net, a phenomenal single mom blog I just discovered, asked me what my secret was in her comment on my last post. And I have to answer because I think each and every one of you has the potential to unlock the same secret. It’s called inner beauty and strength.
It’s definitely not all about looks, believe me. I have three brothers, I work with a team of men and I like to think I understand them fairly well. And if it were… do you really want to attract a man who is just into your looks? I sure as hell don’t.
So why am I currently fighting men off with sticks?
First, let’s look at the men (there are many I haven’t told you about as well – just dates here and there, non-noteworthy) but most are single dads, divorced or over the age of 30. In other words – they are all mature. And they know what they want – especially if they’ve dated a single mom before. If a man I’m on a date with has been with a single mom before, the stigma falls away. He’s already over the “kid thing” and has, as I like to put it, seen the light.
Here’s why single mothers are so appreciated and coveted by men:
1. They can already see what kind of mothers we are. This is huge. Remember, men are simple creatures. And when they can see what kind of mom a woman is that leaves out any guess work. And to men, choosing a good woman to raise their children (with their help, of course) is a priority. You’ll notice this goes both ways when you are dating a single dad.
2. We cook, clean and work. Wow. That about covers all of a man’s other needs – to a guy, that’s hot. I never knew how sexy men found home cooked meals until I became a single mom. They eat it up, literally and then fall even harder for you. This doesn’t mean we’re going to continue doing all of that work if we permanently catch a man – but they see that we already know how to do everything they’d want from a traditional “wife”. It’s very primal, really and to men, it’s sexy.
3. We’re hot just by our very nature. Most of us are cool, calm and collected under pressure and when we do get out to have a fun night – we’re excited to be there, happy, easy to please, low maintenance and comfortable in our own skin. This does not, however, mean we’ll allow them to treat us badly – we’re just more relaxed about the little things single childless women may blow out of proportion. Men definitely like this side of us.
4. Single moms are refreshing. I hear this all of the time. You heard it in my video on Dating Single Moms. The word “refreshing” is a common one when describing single mothers. It’s because we’re real. Again, something that comes to us by default. Just live one day in the life of a single mother and you’ll understand why.
5. We are caretakers. Men love women who will take care of them when they’re sick and love them unconditionally – basically they love moms. They see this love in how we treat our children and it’s attractive. This is borderline Freudian at times, so just be sure you’re not attracting a guy with a sick mommy complex, but for the most part it can work in our favor.
But above all, in order to become a man magnet, you have to believe in yourself and believe that you are still sexy – in fact, you’re even sexier than you were before the kids. Trust me on this one, men don’t care if you’re a single mom and I would argue, that to many men, single moms are preferred.
Tonight I told a group of guys, one of whom had dated a single mom – “Once you date a single mom, you can’t go back!” They absolutely agreed. I can’t blame them.
This list could be much longer, but it’s late and guess what – I have to go to sleep. Another day tomorrow of this single mom life that I adore so very much…
[Photo: You MUST have one of these - major help in picking up men]