Are your still obsessed with your ex?

by mssinglemama on September 16, 2008

This is for the guys.

The men who have fallen madly and crazy in love with a single mom need our help. Time and time again I get e-mails from men telling me devastating stories of how their single mom, the love of their life, is still tied to her ex emotionally. They find this out when it’s too late… after they’ve fallen hard. And sometimes I’m the one to break the bad news to them after putting two and two together.

Take Jon B. for example. Many of you know him from his active commenting on this blog… and for months now he’s been sharing beautiful comments about how he fell so hard for his single mom and her son. And now he’s discovered in the aftermath of their split that she’s still pining for her ex. Read about it here.

So how can men like Jon find out if a single mom is still attached to her ex before they fall head over heals for her? What can they do to help her along the way? Is there hope that she’ll move on?

Here are the signs I’d watch out for:

  • Calling the ex frequently – more than once a day, and without clear reason.
  • Talking about the ex too frequently.
  • She clams up with you after she’s seen him, unable to be physically relaxed or she just blows you off all together.

Single moms, does any of this sound familiar? Are there any other signs? Are you still obsessed with your ex? If so, what are your steps toward forgetting about him?

I know it’s not easy. Because, unlike the childless, our ex is the father of our children – and that opens up an entirely new chapter in the break up book.

My advice to forget about the ex:

  • Move on. Get back out there and start dating. There are so many amazing men waiting  to treat you like you deserve to be treated. It will put things into perspective.
  • Get in touch with your old single self again. What makes you, you? Do more of the things you love or discover new hobbies.
  • Put those old pictures away. Don’t trash them – the kids will want them, but get them out of your house – maybe grandma’s.
  • Surround yourself with a support network of real friends, ideally other single parents. Find someone you can call when you’re crying.
  • If you must, make a list of why you left him. Read it every time you’re wishing you were still together. [Hide this one from the kids]

Again, anything to add? Please share your thoughts. Inquiring minds, namely men who love us and other single moms who have yet to forget about their ex-man, want to know…

Related posts:

  1. How to date the childless.
  2. Single Mom Dating Tips, Part 1
  3. Momma Cum Laude’s daughter is here!!!
  4. Single Mom S.O.S. – Explaining a Break Up
  5. To my readers:

{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

jonb September 16, 2008 at 6:37 pm

I think you give some really great tips here. From my experience, the bond with a child is somehting that will always bind two people together in a way. My male genetic contributor has never been a part of my life (raised by a single mama for 5 years almost before my FATHER came along) but I do see at times the love my mom felt for him, and has slightly because of me.

I think the hard thing though is, seperating that from the passion, the romantic love you felt before the child. Going it alone is no joke and not as easy as they make it look on tv. I know it would take longer, because trying to deal with our relationship failing is so difficult because it is not just her. It is Slim. It means no more dairy queen trips. No more bear hugs, puzzles, “Dad-Jon”, washing my car with him, watching her cook, her and I talking, laughing, movie night, elmo night. All of it. So I would think being a mom and losing the ex would be even more difficult.

A, thanks for the column. I have been getting some feedback, and I must say, your readers are not nearly as optomistic as I am, lol. :)

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Kitkat4real (SOLO dot MOM) September 17, 2008 at 7:02 am

This is a very relevant thing to look for when dating a single mom. And I think you have covered it well for signs and symptoms that are revealing of their true feelings. I can’t add anything here because I never pined over the ex. When I left he had already stepped on that flower that once we knew as love and passion in our relationship, and it never bloomed again. Hope this info helps many guys out there dating single moms.

But remind each of them to be patient with her… She may get over it… and then move on to something more with that guy that has fallen… so hard… for her… because with him it may be “the real thing” and not the imagined she is still experiencing for the ex.

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Lance September 17, 2008 at 8:12 am

All solid advice. Many parents have myspace and facebook pages, and it’s worth a look through those to see “relationship status,” and more importantly, pictures and what they’re blogging about. Oh yeah, don’t forget to check the wall to see if they’re tossing flirty message back and forth! This is a little on teh stalkerish side, but hey, it’s better than getting shafted by an ex.

To forget about an ex, I would concentrate on list item #1 above and date a ton. Dating and socializing majorly takes the edge off of busted relationships and exes.

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April September 17, 2008 at 8:45 am

I’m not sure about getting back out there and dating if you’re not ready to move on yet. Isn’t that how Jon B’s heart got broken? I think it’s more important to take time for yourself. Therapy can help, too.

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solo mama September 17, 2008 at 8:55 am

This post couldn’t have come at a better time. I am recently divorced (2 months) and I found a really great guy that is willing to put up with all my dysfunction and my dead-beat ex. I have a 2 year old daughter with my ex-husband and lately I’ve been having a really hard time letting go of him and our past (12 years). It was easier at first, but now I have regressed. Also, my ex knows about my new guy and is asking a lot more questions about my social life. Like, “who are you going with” where are going” “what did you do this weekend”…stuff like that. He says it doesn’t bother him, and it shouldn’t when he was the one wanted that wanted out in the first place.

I am finding little things that annoy me about my new man. The words he uses, how he sneezes and how he tells me all the time that he really, really likes me. Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill or are these deals breakers, or am I just finding a reason to not like him because I am so hung up on my ex?

I am also comparing him to my ex-husband, which is wierd beacuse my ex was a real jerk. Why am I doing that? Is it what I am used to and I want it the same way?

My ex-husband does not see our daughter very often and and this makes things equally hard to deal with because my daughter needs her dad and it’s heart wrenching. Is this why it’s been so difficult for me or am I secretly still hung up on him?

I would really hate to throw away a really good chance with my new guy, but I am afraid that I will be causing more harm than good. I really need some advice.

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LTP September 17, 2008 at 9:00 am

My now ex-boyfriend would make comments that he thought my “relationship” with my ex-husband was weird…he just couldn’t understand it. I think this was in part b/c he hates his ex-wife and wishes she were dead (no, really…he does). Yes, the ex-hubby and I talk on the phone, share emails, etc.–but that ship has sailed and both of us have moved in on emotionally. I still sometimes wish we were together–for the children and because I miss “us” as a family–but that being said, it’s done. Whomever I meet in the future, I believe I’ll just lay it out for him at the start–so he’s not guessing about feelings I may have for the ex, etc. They’re not feelings of love, just a bond that we have because we have two great kids!

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pisceshanna September 17, 2008 at 9:21 am

Thankfully I am completely devoid of emotion when it comes to my ex. I have gone through hoping, pining, grieving, anger, fear and now….I’m shooting for a pure “business” relationship.

Honestly, I would have never gotten involved with a serious relationship when I was going through all those emotions. My poor boyfriend would have suffered major trauma.

I think a lot of people date too soon after a relationship ends, but eventually they figure it out. Hopefully.

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jonb September 17, 2008 at 9:30 am

LTP I think hits it fairly well from my experience in some ways. I think there is nothing wrong with healthy communication. But my ex/girl I think still has this love for the “idea or image of family” with her son’s genetic contributor. He cheated on her, got hooked on crack, stole money from her, etc, so I think it’s not so much him, but the idea of her son growing up with his bio-parent.

The thing is, and htis where my hackles get raised, is for the last year of my life I have been his FATHER. When he got sick I kept him while she worked since I had more flex time. I taught him to count my bench pressing him up and down. He asks for me, not his daddy, he and I have our own games we play and I am the one who spends my weekends pushing him on the swing, watching Elmo, and puting together swing sets.

So if bio dad has moved states away, does not pay full child support, does not come to see his son, and when he does he is with his new girl and all her kids; then he does not deserve to be a constant part of his child’s life. She calls him constantly trying to get him to talk to his son, to try and get him to come up. At some point reality has to set in that although he does love his child in his own way, but it isn;t real love.

Single moms, before you start dating you have to decide what you honestly want and expect. If things get serious, you have to decide if you will be willing to give up some of the control over your child(which is hard since daddy already has left). Or would you allow them to be friends only so to speak, while you handle discipline and the “raising.”Or do you want someone who you love both as a life partner, but also a partner in raising your child. Those lines and expectations need to be drawn early.

One of my girl and I’s problems is where to live. She is in a rural area an hour outside the city. I am in the heart of the city. My career is here, and since I do make more money, I see no reason to live that far away from work. Also, I am of mixed ethnicity so exposure and diversity are huge for me. The schools here are better funded and I think he would have much to gain for his future here. She prefers the country and likes him having a yard to play in and her privacy. She hates city traffic and is over protective as she doesn;t want him playing with “city kids.” Apparently she htinks all the three year olds carry shanks and deal cocaine. SO we have two differing points of view, and ultimately, we would have to compromise if it were to work and live in between. Of course I think it is better to live near or in the city for all the benefits while going to the coutnry on weekends to see her family and go to church. She’s the opposite. But when kids are involved, these are the kinds of htings that once you get serious really matter. And you have to decide if it will be your rway and he is just along fr the ride, or if you will respect to be your equal in decision making.

I was raised by a single mom till I was 5, so I have a soft spot in my heart for all of you ladies. My FATHER came along around then and they fell in love and he stepped in and after a year or so really got more involved in being my male role model and father. I will say this, and please don;t take offense. But there are some htings that a boy will only learn from a man, and vice versa. If you won;t let a man be in that role, then you need a friend, grandpa, or someone to provide that male influence. My girl’s son is completely different around me, and everyone sees it. He is much more whiney and clingy to her(understandably) but when with me he is more “manly.” It’s actually really cute.

I guess that got a little off topic. But you just have to know where you are in so far as your emotional seperation from your ex, as well as what you want in a dating relationship, and possibly in a committed parental relationship.

In my girl’s case, I think she needs to let it go. Yes, bio dad will be around occasionally, but past that, don;t expect much more. Especially when she has a man like me who is gladly accepting of that role. You could push away somehting good by holding on too tightly to somehting that can never be.

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jonb September 17, 2008 at 9:35 am

I would say this qualifies as not being over your ex:

This is how I feel Brandon. When you just left, without talking to me about it or thinking about our son. I love you. I want more than anything to be a family with you. I want to be what we were all over again. Painting the shutters at night, ripping up the carpet, painting the ENTIRE house, yardwork. I want it all back. But the reality of the situation is that we may not ever get that back. You have found someone who makes you happy, and believe it or not, that is what I want for you. I want you to experience happiness, even if it is without me. I also want you to know your son and keep his heart in mind. He loves you….he needs you. I love you…I need you. But we are okay without you too. Please, look in your heart and follow it for once in your life.

Always, xxxx

————————————————————————–
I do think we got involved to soon after the breakup. And when her and I didn;t work(partially because of her emotional upheaval back and forth over the abandonment)she relapsed and her innermost feelings came out. The hard hting is tryign to decide hwo to approach her baout it. Do I throw it in her face and walk out, or do I talk through it and see what she has to say? Will she try to rationalize it and say I just don;t understand hwat it is like to have a child with someone?

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above average joe September 17, 2008 at 9:58 am

Even though you wrote this for the ladies, it relates pretty well towards guys too.

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solo mama September 17, 2008 at 10:03 am

JonB-Is this a letter your girl wrote to her ex? If so, I can relate and offer some advice because I feel I know what she is going through and could lend a hand your way. My situation is very similiar, it’s scary.

Let me know.

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jonb September 17, 2008 at 10:14 am

solo mama I am open to all advice. I do love htis woman and am willing to work with her. I know I can;t change her or “save her.” I have learned htis. But, maybe I can provide support hwile she figures htings out. I don;t want to be destructive right now to her psyche, whatever I do.

jblackwe@aglresources.com if you have any advice. thanks.

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O Solo Mama September 17, 2008 at 10:24 am

I think the person getting into a relationship where the ex is in the air has to sniff this out early. Usually there are signs. Usually, people ignore them until it’s too late–they tell themselves, “OK, they just have a civil relationship. How nice is that–nothing to worry about.” And then they fall hard. Whoops. Seriously, it’s not a fun thing and I think people resent the misrepresentation, though let’s face it: people do date before they’re ready. It is’t a logical decision.

Ms. SM, I thought your tips and signs were great. Especially like the one about getting tense after seeing the ex. That is SOOOO true.

jonb, your ex/girl doesn’t know how good she’s got it. One thing I do know (my kid’s adopted)–you don’t need to be a genetic contributor to be a mom or dad. That kid will remember you. People have these romantic notions about family. Most of them are damned silly and have nothing to do with loving, satisfying relationships. Hang in.

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rae September 17, 2008 at 11:01 am

Dear ms. Single mama, glad u posted this because its a question I have been pondering a lot over the last year. My ex is very involved in our daughters life. We essentially split custody 50/50. So it works out to our daughter (16 mths) spending 3 nights with him at his home and 4 nights with me. We had a very turbulent breakup, lots of crappy things were said and done..etc. I alternate between hating him because of all the crap he put me through and feeling sad at the thought of him dating someone else. I get very upset at the thought that when he has our daughter, he is exposing her to his exes or women he is potentially dating. He did that early on when our daughter was 4mths..basically had his ex over holding our daughter, etc. During his first overnight with her. I felt that was very disrespectful and a great breach of trust. I have been on dates etc. since our breakup but none of them have ever been with the baby in tow. I just don’t think its appropriate at this stage. And I question those feelings…is it because I don’t want him to date? Do I still want to be a happy family with him despite the way he treated me? I really feel like I’m pretty much over him but I am really scared at the thought of having to share the mothering of my daughter with someone else. I know I have to get used to it however, I feel that my ex has no regard for my feelings in this matter. I wouldn’t be surprised if at some point in the near future, he has some other woman playing the mother role and hides that from me. And he says he wouldn’t mind at all if I took our daughter on dates or had playdates with exes. All I have asked him to do is when he is dating someone that he plans on having around our daughter often, that I will need to meet them just so I know who is in my daughters life in the caregiver role. I don’t need to hang out with them, I just need the initial meeting. And I promised to do the same when I am seriously dating someone. I don’t think its unreasonable for me to ask that however I have my doubts as to whether he will keep that promise. As it is, he is inconsistent with checking in with me whenever the baby is with him. He lives in another state and I have no access to my daughter when she is over there. It really sucks.I would love to know if there is anyone out there that has a 50/50 split custody with their ex and how did you handle things when it was time to bring in other partners.

Also, Joe, I read your blog posting. I hate to say this but solely based on what u wrote regarding your ex, it just seems like u are better off without her. I know you love her and her son but it just seems like she is really not looking to be in a committed relationship right now.

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jonb September 17, 2008 at 11:54 am

Rae,
One hting though, and in all fairness, if I had a child with someone and we split, I would not seek her counsel on what I did. Now granted, I wouldn;t have someone in my childs life so soon anyways, but if I was getting serious iwth someone, I wouldn’t check in so to speak. Not to be rude or mean, but I would not think it was your decision to make. However, when it was getting serious I would bring her by when I pick up/drop off the kid so you could meet her, but it wouldn’t be some prerequisite of dating…? If that makes sense.

As far as calling when she is away, that’s a tough one. My ex did that and I thought it was rather much…maybe I’m a guy and off base. But here’s the deal. Her son was used to being with her ALL THE TIME. When away, if she called, he would get off the phone and then start saying I want mommy, cry, and it would take time to calm him down. Ithink some of that is the need to feel loved, and some is not trusting what the ex is doign with your child maybe. Ultimately the child is out of your realm of influence, and I htink when you are used to being the primary caregiver it is hard to let go of that control. I think a lot of single moms get much more controlling after a breakup with the ex because their world is rocked and shattered, so they have to swing far in the opposite direction to get some semblence of manageability. But if I had my child, and my ex called constantly to check in, I would be highly irritated. It’s like what, do you think I am casting voodoo spells and teaching him dark magic over here? I think it is the lack of trust created from the relationship transfered ot the child. You don;t trust them with your child, to do whats best, and to not think of only themselves.

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Ms. Single Mama September 17, 2008 at 12:56 pm

I SO want to comment on all of this – but I’m SLAMMED at work b/c of the power outage.

Keep ‘em coming… why, oh why do the ex-men own our souls? In my case at the moment it’s Kris – Mr. Right Now. Damn it! HOW did that happen? And why am I still thinking about him? He’s SO damn wrong for me.

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Stephanie September 17, 2008 at 1:58 pm

jonb:
I think it’s honorable that you love her enough to want to work on the relationship. With that said, my interpretation of what you’ve said on your blog IS that she is nowhere close to your level or worthy of what you have to offer.

I pose a question “Is it her that attracts you to her, or is it her son that attracts you to her?” “Is it the idea of family life or having a family life with her?”

The love of a child is a powerful thing whether it is yours (bio) or not however that doesn’t mean you/anyone should stay in a ‘toxic’ “unhealthy” relationship for the child’s sake.

Unfortunately you are not her son’s father and the only ties that you have to him are the ones she’s allowed you to have.

I made a promise to myself and for my son that I will not introduce anyone that I date to him unless I know that that person will be a permanent part of our lives. I want to know that the man I am with loves me for me, that he is with me for me, NOT because he fell in love (fatherly) with my son. Also, my son has no need to go through the attachment and separation emotions that go along with the person I would be dating. Basically he doesn’t need men yo-yoing in and out of his life.

For me I don’t consider dating a couple months to be a “LONG” term relationship, then to be introducing him to my son, then see how he interactions with him, to see could he be a good father type. I do feel that would play an important part in determining the longevity of the relationship (marriage) but it needs to come after we’ve established that we are in a healthy relationship as a man and woman.

On the subject of stil obsessed with my ex: in a word HECK NO… well that’s two words :)

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rae September 17, 2008 at 2:44 pm

Hi jon,

Thanks for your response. I see your point about the trust issues, etc. However I think what differentiates my situation from everyone else who has posted to this thread is that I am only with my child HALF of the time. I think if my baby was with me majority of the time every week I would not be as concerned with the checking in or the appearance of a new significant other. But there is a large chunk of time that I do not get to spend with my child. 3-4 days of every week I am away from her and maybe if she was older and my role as her parent was more cemented I wouldn’t have as many concerns. While I definitely am extremely fortunate that her dad is so involved, its hard not to feel like a part time parent. And he has made comments to the effect that if our daughter calls whoever he is dating “mama”, he won’t correct her. Which is really not fair to me and is potentially very confusing to our daughter. I am well aware that I cannot control my ex’s behavior when he has our daughter but since we are co parenting, we have to work together always to make sure we r both on the same page when it comes to what is best for our daughter. And things like daily checkins, we both agreed to at the very least one text msg a day from the parent who has our daughter at the time. There’s no constant calling, etc.from either of us.

There is really no set blueprint for this. At times I do feel that it would be easier if we didn’t have to deal with each other at all and if it was more like a business transaction but unfortunately, my child is so young…under 2 yrs old. Only time will tell.

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jonb September 18, 2008 at 5:03 am

rae, i get your point now, i hadnt htought of that. just goes to show that no two situations are the same and that the answer is just as dynamic.

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Suzanne B. (Crunchy Green Mom) September 18, 2008 at 9:20 pm

Ok, I’ve made a decision. I am stealing JonB and keeping him for myself!

It was a tough choice but… he’s fabulous! :)

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Lost in love.... September 19, 2008 at 6:54 am

Any advice on how to forget the single mom you feel in love with and clearly know you both love eachother but timing is off…..? She is without a doubt the most amazing, wonderful, giving, and gorgegous person I have ever met. And you all sound so blessed to be where you are…..I m very lucky to have met and dated this women…I only wish it could continue

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mssinglemama September 19, 2008 at 7:00 am

Suzanne – everyone wants to steal Jon B.

Lost in Love – time, time will heal the wounds. I wish I could help but love hurts, no easy way around it. Thanks for your sweet comments about us single moms – we eat that stuff up!

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Lost in love.... September 19, 2008 at 8:47 am

Yes it will. I have to live my life and perhaps we will come back. Only time will tell.

And I truly meant what I said, I am better man for being in this relationship with her. You all have an infinite wisdom and it is truly spectacular.

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Cheryl September 21, 2008 at 3:00 pm

Dexy’s daddy was here visiting this weekend (he lives in Las Vegas and comes to CA about once a month to visit – it’s always been that way, even when we were still a couple, which we haven’t been now since April 2008). To say this whole situation is complicated would be an understatement… suffice to say, I know I still have a whole bunch of feelings for him, we did make a baby together after all. But he has said he doesn’t know what he wants, even though it seems clear he isn’t JUST coming to visit Dex, but me as well. But until he speaks up and says directly what it is that he wants, or doesn’t want, etc. I have to keep moving forward and living my life “as if” we are never getting back together.

It’s hard. I have NO idea what this will look like when she is 3, 5, 10, 14….

One day at a time is the best I can do. The rest I leave up to the two of them to figure out together. My involvement is really only peripheral at this point, I don’t want to play “house” anymore.

Thanks for the tips, I know I need to move on completely before I start dating again (not even remotely READY to start dating, but you know, when I am – LOL).

Sigh.

Why does it have to be so up and down?

Cheers!

C ~

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jonb September 23, 2008 at 11:26 am

Well I thought I would give an update on the whole situation. I confronted her about the email to the ex and fought/talked through it and here’s what came of it. She told me she was hurt and devastated by us breaking up. She has been harboring feelings of guilt because Noah is without his “daddy.” She has always tried to keep Brandon in Noah’s life and fought so hard because she doesn’t want Noah to grow up feeling she didn’t try hard enough or blame her for his daddy not being there. She said she loved the idea of Brandon coming back and them being a family. I told her it wasn’t her responsibility to make him be a father. He made his choices, not her. I pointed out that she would never move away or leave her son, and that it is not anything you did, but who he is. I pointed out that she was miserable with him before, so why would she even think of it? She said that if it meant being unhappy she would do that for Noah. She said she was hurt and scared and reached out, but that she realized she loved me more, that she felt real passion and love for me, and that she didn’t want him. She told me she felt violated by me going through her email (which I understand and feel terrible for doing) but that she wanted to keep trying to make things work. She said she loved me and that is basically where things are.

I went over last night to have dinner and change my oil (my tools are at her place). Noah loves using my car jack so while she cooked he and I worked on my car. He jacked the car up as much as he could and then I took over. While I worked he watched and kept saying “good job” or played with my socket wrenches. Once I finished dinner was ready and we all ate outside. One thing Courtney does is cook a hell of a meal. We talked and told each other about our days, and it really was nice. Given the events of the last month there was definitely an elephant in the room, but it was a nice evening. I did the dishes while they took a bath, then Noah and I threw his playground ball back and forth in the hall way while she folded laundry. He went potty and I helped her for a few minutes then resumed my ball throwing duties once he finished “going poop.” After he got in bed there was definitely an awkward sort of feeling in the air as we both seem to be dancing around the issues. I did stay the night because it is an hour drive to my place and I get “carcilepsy” as she puts it. We held hands in our sleep but nothing more as despite the love we have done a lot of damage lately to each other.

I think there is a chance we may start trying again and moving very slowly. I do love this woman and am willing to put in the work if she is willing to be more balanced and meet me half way on things. Trust has been eroded between us, and though I did violate her privacy (which she is deeply offended by, and I understand) I still feel the half truths and emotional breakdown that led to her emailing the ex is much worse in terms of being able to trust. I pointed out to her this morning that I gave her the truth, always, even if she wouldn’t like when it came to who I had dated or slept with. I told her that the truth is more important than whether you like it or not, or if it hurts you. Even if I know you won’t like the answer, because I wanted you to know that no matter what I would never lie to you. I demand the same though, and I asked her how could I trust her completely, when she had gone back to him when things got hard? What happens the next time we fight? She was defiant and silent all at once, but I think it sank in.

I’m not saying we are getting back together. It may be impossible at this point, but I love her enough to consider it, and at least now I feel we could be friends in time. I may be naïve or foolish, but we are not “back together” in any sense. I am much more focused in work and my friendships, my tutoring and charity work, and much more aware of my own happiness and my self worth. I am far from perfect, but I know I deserve respect and honesty. I deserve to be treated far better, and expressed this to her. I am still guarded and will listen to what she has to say. I believe the love we share is at least worth that much.

We moved too fast, got involved too soon after her breakup with Brandon, and bypassed so many things in making ourselves an “insta” family. I think because our mistakes are so easily observed in looking back, we can seek to avoid them if we get to where we can trust again, and build something new. We need more time alone, and if she is serious, then she has to accept this and be more willing to get a sitter. Heck, I will pay for one if she arranges it. I think that is fair. There are a lot of big “If’s” here, so time will tell. I don’t know if I should be doing this or not, so a little guidance and opinion would be helpful.

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NotADad April 19, 2009 at 9:52 am

Me and my old threads. Whatever happened with this jonb?

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Miller March 7, 2014 at 6:48 pm

My wife has accused me of a lot of things in our years of marriage some of those accusation were true and i admitted to doing them but am to much in love with her to give her an s.t.d. She was down to end our marriage cos she believed i gave an s.t.d. She had a good reason to believe that cos of late i haven’t been the best husband. Thank God that s@@t was clarified in the Trisha show that i was not responsible for the s.t.d. She was in love with me as i was in love with her. Yes i will admit to the fact that i f$$ked up so many times but we always got around our problem i don’t mean avoid it i mean we fixed our problem like real adults but my stepson always thought i was not good enough for his mother. We never really got along. I never hated him, but he just didn’t like me and i wasn’t gonna suck up to him.He just wanted me out of their life and our problem just made it possible for him to see that happen cos he also accused me of giving my wife, his mother s.t.d. I agreed to do the Trisha show thinking maybe it will help fix our marriage but it made it even worse. After the show she was more down to leave me. She asked that i move out of the house filed for a divorce and all. I thought she will come to her sense and see that though she had s.t.d i still wanted to be with her. I thought if i should give her time the anger and bitterness will die but it didn’t even after a whole month after everything.She had the divorce papers delivered to me. I could not let her go just like that.I got desperate and i started panicking so i used a spell to get her back i know most people don’t believe and you may call me crazy but it worked for me. I found a comment on the Internet about this spell caster Metodo Ell. The comment said he doesn’t do spell for those who are not meant to be together. I mean i believe with all my heart that she is the one thing i needed in my life and i also know she needs me too so i thought he could help me get her back.He agreed to help me cos he also said we are soul mate.All i needed for the spell were materials to get the spell done. I could not get them so i paid him to get them for me since he is the expert in this stuff.After three days, he sent me a substance with instructions on how to make the spell effective and i did as he directed but honestly it took seven days to work i guess good things don’t work like zap. As far as i can tell that s$$t worked cos all my marriage problem just fell off my shoulder AFTER THE SPELL WAS CAST.My wife didn’t go through with the divorce and stepson is cool with me now. If you want to get him to cast a spell for you contact him here with this email address metodoacamufortress@yahoo. com he could also do a direct spell maybe it meant cost a little more than mine i don’t know him only can tell you that..

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name me April 19, 2014 at 8:34 pm

My name is really not important here cos all i can say is that if you need a spell caster to help you with your problem then the best one is MUTTON OSUN. He is the only reliable spell caster i know.This is not just cos he helped me i mean if you are reading this comment on the internet, you will definitely see other comment about how he has saved relationship with his spell,helped people win lottery and i read one a man named Sandburg don’t know if its his real name said MUTTON OSUN help with a spell to secure a job and bring back wife who left him.I am composing this comment to pin the fact that MUTTON OSUN has also helped me.After six years of marriage it hard to really understand when your wife is see another man and asking for a divorce just so see can be with him.It so hard for me cos i thought we were doing fine.Maybe i was too blind that i didn’t know something was wrong with us or i wasn’t giving her the attention she needed.Which ever which way there was something that i knew,she was breaking my heart and i still loved her with my life.I know people may probably say it unlike a man but i lost my virginity to her and sine then there have been no other in my life but her.I gave up everything for her My family, and everything and everyone that wanted us not to be.I could not imagine how she could be so heartless and so unfaithful i mean i gave her my life!.I was ready to let her go i left our house and her new painter boyfriend moved in.They turned my private store room to his art studio and started sharing my bed with my wife.He was practically living my life for me cos everything i had in our house was converted to his.With every day that passed grew mad at the painter cos i was still in love with my wife she is the only family i have left and in my head i thought i just lost her to another man after all the sacrifice i have made to see us together.Before i even thought of spell casting i tried the memory lane method but she was not even willing to talk to me for more than a minute or even have a bit with me it was almost like she was allergic to me after five years of marriage.The thought of another man making love to my wife consumed me i lost focus and was totally confused on what to do.I remember drowning myself with bottles of vodka to kill the pain and try to forget her but i pass out and wake up thinking about her.Just when i thought i needed to get rid of of my cheating wife with the help on the internet, i came across a lot of comment on how MTTON OSUN has helped to get exes back so at that moment i was no longer thinking of how to get rid of her instead i was thinking and willing to do anything just to have my wife back.When i contacted the spell caster that is MUTTON OSUN with the email i saw on the comment he called me, after i made him understand my problem.He told me he was sad for me cos i left my whole world and family for her.He asked that i get some materials i can disclose but it nothing to worry about cos they are totally harmless.I felt it was gonna be hard to send them down to him so i gave him the money for the materials.After two days he sent me a package containing my spell.He instructed me on how to make it effective and i swear on my dead sister grave the spell made my wife mine again,Its was so supernatural how it happened i can’t just explain from how she left the painter and everything beats my imagination all i know is that MUTTON OSUN spell is was powerful enough to get me my wife back.Contact him here for solution to your own problem godsofosunx @ rocketmail. com

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