Cabin Fever…

by mssinglemama on September 15, 2008

Benjamin and I went to a music festival this weekend.

On the first day we were in the kids area, by one of those big inflatable jump houses, when a very cute dad looked our way. He had blond hair, deep blue eyes and a fantastic smile. Again no ring. But I couldn’t be sure. So many married men, I’ve noticed, don’t wear their rings. (WHY is that by the way? Not fair).

Our kids ran in separate directions and I didn’t see him again until later in the afternoon. Benjamin and I were back at our camp site. We’d wandered down to the lake’s edge. I was tired. It had been a long day. Festivals, solo with toddlers, can be trying.

“Wow! Look at him,” a man said, “we might have to join you in there!” I snapped around, startled. It was the dad… he was camping also, and his site was right near ours. And then I looked in his eyes. So beautiful. I didn’t know what to say. Did he have a wife? Was she right there in the tent? Should I even talk to him?

I freaked out. My nerves keeping any words from flowing other than, “Yeah, I think the water is safe… muddy though.”

He went back to his site and Benjamin and I marched up the hill to see Uncle Dennis and Uncle Larry. We spent the rest of the night building our camp fire, setting up the tents and I kept scoping out my neighbor’s camp site, but no sign of a woman – just an older woman, perhaps his mother.

The next morning I saw him by the water.

Benjamin wanted to swim so we headed down again. And this time he came right up behind us and sat down, “so where are you from?”

“Just up the road a bit, my mother lives here.”

And then the conversation started. In a few minutes I found out that he was indeed a single dad, who had quit his lucrative traveling job to be close to his kids. And instead of renting again he bought land and has his hands full building his own house, a cabin, in the middle of no where.

“You should come see it sometime,” he suggested, “I’m only 2 hours from you.”

He changed the subject when I didn’t jump on the invitation, realizing perhaps, that such a proposal sounded slightly crazy. We’d only just met. “I’m out there and it’s hard because I have no one to talk to,” he went on telling me about his area of the country where the people are scarce and the woods thick.

His children, a girl and a boy – 3 and 6 – were trying to distract him. His son started climbing up on his back, strangling him. Benjamin mimicked him and soon we could barely talk. “See, this is the thing, I can’t talk to people without kids because they just don’t understand. This, right now, would end it.”

“Yes,” I nodded, “I call them the childless.”

He burst out laughing.

“Well, we’ve got to pack up, but seriously if you want to come out sometime I would love it.” He gave me his number and his e-mail address and I’m really considering it…

I was attracted to him. There was a spark.

I just wish I would have asked him the instant we met if he was a single dad or not – then we could have spent the entire evening talking. Darn it.

So what do you think? Would it be completely crazy to spend a weekend with a virtual stranger in the middle of no where? In a cabin that isn’t even finished yet?

Sounds so incredibly romantic… could be a little adventure, a much needed distraction at the least. I’m all ears. But I’m seriously thinking about going. And the old woman on his camp site was his mother. His father was there too… very sweet guy.

{ 3 trackbacks }

Cabin Fever, Part 2
September 19, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Cabin Fever, Part 3
May 23, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Secrets, Secrets
July 16, 2009 at 5:11 pm

{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }

Amy Nathan September 15, 2008 at 9:19 am

No, you do not spend a weekend with a stranger in a cabin in the woods where there are no other people around for miles.

Um, you were kidding right?

But you should email. You could even call. You could see him when he visits his mother or meet him halfway for dinner in a public place. You can google him. Actually, you should have already done that!

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mssinglemama September 15, 2008 at 9:41 am

Amy – I’m from the middle of no where – so that part doesn’t scare me. I lived in a house in the middle of no where with my mom for a year. And no, I’m not kidding… I am considering it. His parents actually live very near to his place, so I don’t think it’s that isolated.

But I like your idea…

1. Phone call or e-mails (a given)
2. Maybe I could just meet him for dinner in a city near his.
3. But, I LOVE middle of no where cabins – I’m really a country girl at heart and I’m craving a cowboy type – these city boys can be quite dull.

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Carolina September 15, 2008 at 9:43 am

You should call him for sure, sparks don’t happen all the time!

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Suzanne B (Crunchy Green Mom) September 15, 2008 at 9:48 am

Go for it, after my horrible date this weekend, I’ll live vicariously through you!

It was my first date in a year, I suppose I shouldn’t have figured on fireworks, or even a lit match!

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Kitkat4real (SOLO dot MOM) September 15, 2008 at 10:12 am

Three words for you today. GO FOR IT!

This sounds great.

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Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) September 15, 2008 at 10:15 am

Email is good. Phone calls are better. The hope is that the chemistry will not only stick, but just get (ummmm) stickier. And if that’s the case, let the dad come to you.

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pisceshanna September 15, 2008 at 10:19 am

That rocks! Totally call/email. Sparks are totally pricesless. I’m starting to think the Spark between Sushi Boy and me was just polite lunch conversation on his end, because I have yet to hear back from him.

Mutual Sparks = GO FOR IT!

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debra September 15, 2008 at 10:23 am

I’m with Amy….bad idea for a first date. Go with your gut, there was a reason you reacted surprised to his suggesting it within minutes of meeting you. It would make me more than just a little nervous about my safety. Second, there is no quick escape if you discover 30 minutes in that you really don’t have much in common. Or that what you thought was bug spray and camping grunge smell is what he smells like all the time! πŸ˜‰ Besides, the anticipation of getting to know him first, (email, phone calls, meeting half way for dinner somewhere), will make a visit out to his cabin more romantic because you will have begun to fuel the spark!

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QTMama September 15, 2008 at 11:19 am

Why is it, men don’t bother to take OUR number anymore? Drives me insane.

I’d email him – your phone number. It lets him know you’re interested in him calling. And if he calls, it lets you know he’s interested enough to use the number.

As for the woods getaway, give it a bit, talk to him, learn him a bit before spending the weekend with a stranger.

Not that I’m one to talk. πŸ˜‰

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jonb September 15, 2008 at 11:39 am

A,
I recomend an email. When you email give the number casually. Don;t say call me, just treat it as an oh by the way thing. Then, he will call(who wouldn;t right?) and yall can talk or chat, then go from there. If he is crazy, he will call incessantly and will annoy you. Use this as a filter. Meet for dinner, and if he doesn;t suck maybe plan to visit sometime.

Don;t be afraid to test this guy.

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Gustavo February 4, 2015 at 2:24 am

You get a lot of respect from me for writing these helpful aricelts.

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mssinglemama September 15, 2008 at 12:12 pm

I think he gave me his number because he realized it was a long shot… I thought that was really respectful of him. But I like Jon’s idea the best – e-mail first and then I can test his spelling (SO important) and then a phone call. If he abuses my number (which I highly doubt) I’ll know he’s crazy or just plain desperate.

But I wanted to add… I could meet him for dinner or a lunch if I go to the Ikea near his place (2 hours away) – I really, really need to get to Ikea before winter anyway.

How does that sound to everyone? And … he is totally harmless, I promise. I’m from the hills – I know hill people. Far less frightening than guys I meet in bars or at clubs. Good vibes all around from this one.

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April September 15, 2008 at 12:33 pm

I didn’t read all the comments, just your last. I think inviting him to Ikea (after emailing and checking his spelling) is a great idea. It’s way too soon for him to make you do all the traveling. Hopefully, you’ll get to the place where you’ll feel comfortable going to his cabin for a romantic get-away, but certainly not until you’ve seen him at least 3 other times.

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jonb September 15, 2008 at 12:48 pm

What’s with the hating on city guys? I personally don’t think I am boring, lol.

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SingleParentDad September 15, 2008 at 1:55 pm

Thanks for giving me an insight into the mind of the single mother. I’m in a similar position, to your single dad, having just built my own house, albeit in the rural british countryside as part of small village. So this is what ‘you’ may think if I offer out an invite.

I think I would advise a bit of caution. I haven’t really asked any women to visit me here with a romantic overtone. But I think I may say something like, you should come and visit, totally meaning it, but also hoping that there may be meetings or dates inbetween or before a stay-over.

Sounds like you could be on to something though. Keep us in the loop.

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Savored Life September 15, 2008 at 2:46 pm

So strange to hear about hurricanes up in the midwest! Being in FL, I am used to them…but, OH? Glad you are safe…

Girl…don’t be afraid to talk to the boys!! (coming from the extreme extrovert). :O) Plus…you never what to regret the things you DIDN’T do!

Sounds exciting!…oohlala. I agree with emailing him your number or even calling him first, to let him know you are, indeed, interested…and go from there. You never know unless you try…

Cannot wait to hear more.

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Single Mom in New England September 15, 2008 at 3:43 pm

I say, GO FOR IT! But definitely don’t go to his house for a weekend first date. Meet halfway for dinner (it sounds like it’s about an hour?) then let the tension build a little!! An hour’s drive is so worth the sparks and butterflies!

And do you know how miserable you would be if you spent a weekend with him, and realized in the first couple hours that there WERE NO sparks or butterflies? UGH!

Definitely do a date FIRST!! Very exciting! Good luck!

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J-Fo September 15, 2008 at 6:35 pm

Meet him, but tell Grizzly Adams that the weekender needs to wait. Safety first, woman! Safety first.

I know, I’m so UN FUN!

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mssinglemama September 15, 2008 at 7:11 pm

Okay… now it’s been over 24 hours and I’m wondering if I should even call him. NOT because I think that’s too long… no games… I’m just wondering what the point would be in even seeing him again.

He lives far away – in the boonies! Ahhh… but those eyes. Damn. I’ll think about it. At the very least I’ll e-mail him.

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T September 15, 2008 at 7:27 pm

I guess I don’t understand the question… sparks, single dad, handsome, strong and creative… wants to spend time with you… hmmm…

Seriously? Why the hesitation? πŸ™‚

Yep, follow through on this one! At least send an email. I’m hoping at this point that you already have and will be posting that tomorrow?!?!?

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Valerie September 15, 2008 at 7:44 pm

That is so exciting! Sparks are hard to find. An email with your phone number then a lunch or dinner would be a good start.

My cousin from Ohio called me tonight. She loaded up her 2 year old triplets and 10 year old and came to Illinois because she will be without power until at least Thursday.

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jonb September 15, 2008 at 9:57 pm

i feel like the third person observer of a slumber party complete with pj’s and tubs of ice cream. πŸ™‚

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littlemansmom September 16, 2008 at 6:24 am

I say…get to know him a little first…then visit no-where….

Def. e-mails and phone calls, def. dinner , def. meet up…the ‘spark’ is rare and special…

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Jeff Mac, manslations.com September 16, 2008 at 6:53 am

First of all, I appreciate finally having a name for my personal sect: The Childless. It feels like the name of a horror movie. Love it.

I think an email would be the easiest way to tell exactly what’s what. It would let him know that obviously you are interested, and you want to know more. Given how he already has asked you out, we know he’ll take the bait, of course. But this way, you’ll get to see what he does with it before you have to actually make the trip up to…er…Camp Crystal Lake.

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Lost in love.... September 16, 2008 at 6:57 am

I am sorry I am jumping into this post, and I know it is selfish, but I wanted to post and get the opinions of very amazing people…I hope you do not mind…

I happened to find your website the other day, and boy, what a great site! I have been in a happy relationship for most of the year with a single mom. It has been without a doubt a GREAT experience, she is wonderful, she is beautiful, she is sweet, most important, she is the love of my life. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about loving her more today then I had yesterday (even though we are not together anymore). She is older and has been married, engaged after her marriage ended, and has dated. I have dated, but never been married nor, you may have guessed, have kids. Age is not the factor however, I think it scares her that my career is something that keeps me on the road, or if it is offered, moving (and just yesterday I accepted a position somewhere else). We kind of went through our relationship enjoying everyday we were together. After about 7 month I finally met her kids, the kids I had heard so much about, whom she told me were the loves of her life, and BOY was she right. They were wonderful, loving, caring, and watching her with them always put a smile on my face. Her love, her dedication to them, it was sexy. I got to know her children well, and I began to fall in love with them, I wanted to be a part of her family, slowly of course, but I itched to see and be with them. Many factors went into her decision that she wanted to break it off, IT WAS NOT our love for eachother. Clearly we had it (love), we had a very loving relationship, it was fun, it was VERY HAPPY. We were able to communicate with eachother, to express our love and desires, and most important we enjoyed EVERY single second we saw eachother. I never asked for more then she could give, but once I met the kids (and she felt it maybe too early but it was 7 months) I think she felt another pressure. And it started to show when her kids started hugging me and asking for me. It was then, I think she knew she had to end it. A move for her, a new job, new house, new school, and possibly more. Where did I fit in. She had sacrficed in the past for the men in her life and she would no longer do that. But here is a loving guy…someone she is attracted too, she loved….but were/are we at phases different from eachother. I refuse to believe that, as I have refused to give up hope. We continue to talk, and we have seen eachother since her decision and we pick up were we left off. She wanted space, and I have given it…I feel she loves me…I feel my love for her,,,i ache every day…..I am not sure why I have written..how could something so great….be gone. I am willing to take 6 steps back to take 10 steps forward…but could her fear of me leaving one day be winning this battle..? She mentioned the fact that I could one day just leave her, regretting being with someone, but i would never. She mentioned she had to do all this for herself it was important..I just do not know what to do….if anything

Lost for our love….

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Najia September 16, 2008 at 7:13 am

That post put a smile on my face.

I agree with everyone else when they say baby steps with this guy.

And if you sit and analyze or rationalize – you’ll find a way to make him sound “not right” or think “whats the point”. No need in doing that. When the time is right and you want to – call him.

Then post results on here so I can live vicariously through you!

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Lost in love.... September 16, 2008 at 7:49 am

Actually I m the GUY!!

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mssinglemama September 16, 2008 at 7:55 am

Lost in love – check your e-mail my friend. I’m sorry it took me so long to respond, my power has been out.

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Lost in love.... September 16, 2008 at 8:24 am

Thanks I will…sorry didn’t mean to take up another post!!

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mssinglemama September 16, 2008 at 8:57 am

Single Parent Dad – you are amazing! You built your own place? I just LOVE that. Men who can build things… like a house! HOT.

So, I just e-mailed him…

Thanks for the advice everyone. I’ll keep you posted.

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Laura September 16, 2008 at 10:03 am

I would do it! LOL its the Aries in me!

Seriously though – you wont do it THIS weekend so chat a bit first but open to the possibility!!

ENJOY ;o) He does sound yummy!

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Avdi February 3, 2015 at 8:35 am

At last! Someone with the insight to solve the probelm!

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Laura September 16, 2008 at 12:50 pm

He sounds promising and I’m glad you’re going to email him.
But, just my $ .02 (for what it’s worth) I would let him come to you first and stay nearby or with you. It’s a good way to gauge how interested he is. Is he also willing to travel the 2 hours?
He sounds adorable and I hope whatever you decide it has a great result! : )

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SingleParentDad September 17, 2008 at 8:40 am

I certainly did Misinglemama. I’ve entered my self-build website as the link on my name here. Have a click!

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Bear February 4, 2015 at 8:35 am

Deep thought! Thanks for coutribnting.

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