T – and also trying not to feel guilty.

SMS – thanks for the advice, I’ll keep that in mind. But I can’t keep Benjamin from having fun with his best guy friend for fear of any hurt that may come in the future. The pros outweigh the cons in my eyes. And he is FAR more attached to his father than Kris and clearly knows the difference.

Ailaf – Benjamin’s father is as good of a father as he can be. But as we always joke with each other “he’s a much better father than he was a husband.” My ex didn’t know how to be a husband – that’s why we’re not together. Hope that helps.

I’m geniuily curious about this.

I had a Mr. Right now for a year… and it was just what I needed at the time. I wasn’t ready for a relationship. (From your post, it doesn’t sound like you’re there, either.) This man had almost no contact with my child. I’m now grateful for that.

Then, I found myself needing more. This man had been very honest from Day 1 that he didn’t want to be part of the family mix. He simply liked our after-hours time together. We maturely parted ways… it was time.

You’ll know when it’s time. But it might be rough on Benjamin, especially as he gets older. If there’s any way that you can keep Kris “after hours,” I’d highly recommend this.

I really have nothing much to add except to enjoy him, be grateful for your “right now” and everything else will happen as it should!!

And don’t feel guilty about it!

I was seeing someone when I met my ex. From the day we met there was an obvious bond between us and despite trying I was drawn to her. The next ten months of my life were a whirlwind of emotions, but most importantly, I knew real love for the first time in my life. I learned how to love by watching her and her child. I saw the power of love in how I made her feel, and how her son bonded with me.

I broke up with her recently not out of fear or a lack of love, but because some htings had gone wrong in our relationship that had caused us to stop growing together. The love is still in my heart, but for me to help her, our relationship had to change. The relationship we had as it was, failed. But that doesn;t mean a knew one cannot be built, one day at a time.

I guess what I am getting at is love takes on so many shapes and forms. I think in a way you have form of love for Kris, an appreciation for bringing some normalcy into your life, for showing you there are good men out there for you and that you can, with the right person, trust again.

You needn;t worry Alaina. Love will find you when the time is right, and you will know it, without question. The world has a way of rewarding those who put forth love, and judging by your son, I think you have that down in spades.

Am I ready for a relationship? I’m not sure… with the right person – yes, I’d like to think I’m ready. (Here’s to hoping! Will only be able to truly tell when I meet him).

I think Katie’s point is just what I’m trying to sort out in my head – am I truly looking for Mr. Right? If so, than will being with Kris get in the way? A lot to think about. But yes, I’m trying my hardest to relax and just enjoy what it is… not a big deal, really.

I’m just so glad I finally found the words to share all of this with you.

Jon B. Kris fits in all of the time. He’s known us for so long and he’s amazing with Benjamin, but I keep the time between the two limited to once (or twice at the max) per week. And no, it’s not that I have a young guy – it’s because, I think, Kris doesn’t want to commit to any woman right now – child or not.

Debra – I love your advice. And I was thinking about Kris when I wrote that post (can’t remember which one) on who we need in our life at that moment… oh, it was the soul mate post here.

http://mssinglemama.com/12/single-mom-love/

And Debra, you’re so right – being with Kris, a great guy, keeps me away from the bad guys.

Single mommy… yes, easier said than done isn’t it? Sheesh.