How to get over a break up.

by mssinglemama on August 22, 2008

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]
A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.
A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]
A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap
A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.
A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.
A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.
A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.
A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage.

Now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

If you feel like a married single mom, click here.


Thinking of becoming a single mom? Everything you need is here in my free eBook.

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan to download your copy. Details are here. I hope it helps and wrote it just for you. I’ve been there and believe me, it will get better!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]
A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage.

Now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

If you feel like a married single mom, click here.


Thinking of becoming a single mom? Everything you need is here in my free eBook.

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan to download your copy. Details are here. I hope it helps and wrote it just for you. I’ve been there and believe me, it will get better!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage.

Now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

If you feel like a married single mom, click here.


Thinking of becoming a single mom? Everything you need is here in my free eBook.

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan to download your copy. Details are here. I hope it helps and wrote it just for you. I’ve been there and believe me, it will get better!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]
Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage, now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

Lots of questions!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]
A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage.

Now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

If you feel like a married single mom, click here.


Thinking of becoming a single mom? Everything you need is here in my free eBook.

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan to download your copy. Details are here. I hope it helps and wrote it just for you. I’ve been there and believe me, it will get better!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage.

Now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

If you feel like a married single mom, click here.


Thinking of becoming a single mom? Everything you need is here in my free eBook.

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan to download your copy. Details are here. I hope it helps and wrote it just for you. I’ve been there and believe me, it will get better!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]
Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage, now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

Lots of questions!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage.

Now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

If you feel like a married single mom, click here.


Thinking of becoming a single mom? Everything you need is here in my free eBook.

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan to download your copy. Details are here. I hope it helps and wrote it just for you. I’ve been there and believe me, it will get better!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]
Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage, now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

Lots of questions!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]
It’s been nearly one year since I wrote my first post. And nearly 200, 000 page views later… I’m still hooked on sharing my stories. I set out with one mission, to let other single mothers know they aren’t alone. I surprised myself in discovering that I wasn’t alone – because I’ve been able to hear from all of you, your stories, your joys, your heartaches. You give me more than you could ever imagine.

I’m down to the wire now. Leaving for Denmark Tuesday morning. I already have so much I want to share, to write… and I will try to write or at least post fresh pictures to my Flickr account while I’m gone. I’ll be returning with so many stories, I’m sure… 

Until then you’ll be entertained by a few guest blog posts. And these – some of the most popular posts from my old blog and a few of my personal favorites.

1. Should I leave my husband?

2. Top 10 Most Beautiful Men in the World

3. Caught on tape… my ex, his girlfriend and my son (nope, he’s just screaming in the background).

4. Does romance really exist?

5. Can men feel empathy?

6. Single mom dating tips, part 1

7. I LOVE being a single mom

8. A letter to my future husband

9. Can single moms really fall in love?

10. Prince charming can kiss my ass

11. Want men to start falling from the sky?

12. My birthday confessional.
A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage.

Now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

If you feel like a married single mom, click here.


Thinking of becoming a single mom? Everything you need is here in my free eBook.

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan to download your copy. Details are here. I hope it helps and wrote it just for you. I’ve been there and believe me, it will get better!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage.

Now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

If you feel like a married single mom, click here.


Thinking of becoming a single mom? Everything you need is here in my free eBook.

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan to download your copy. Details are here. I hope it helps and wrote it just for you. I’ve been there and believe me, it will get better!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]
Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage, now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

Lots of questions!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage.

Now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

If you feel like a married single mom, click here.


Thinking of becoming a single mom? Everything you need is here in my free eBook.

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan to download your copy. Details are here. I hope it helps and wrote it just for you. I’ve been there and believe me, it will get better!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]
Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage, now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

Lots of questions!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]
It’s been nearly one year since I wrote my first post. And nearly 200, 000 page views later… I’m still hooked on sharing my stories. I set out with one mission, to let other single mothers know they aren’t alone. I surprised myself in discovering that I wasn’t alone – because I’ve been able to hear from all of you, your stories, your joys, your heartaches. You give me more than you could ever imagine.

I’m down to the wire now. Leaving for Denmark Tuesday morning. I already have so much I want to share, to write… and I will try to write or at least post fresh pictures to my Flickr account while I’m gone. I’ll be returning with so many stories, I’m sure… 

Until then you’ll be entertained by a few guest blog posts. And these – some of the most popular posts from my old blog and a few of my personal favorites.

1. Should I leave my husband?

2. Top 10 Most Beautiful Men in the World

3. Caught on tape… my ex, his girlfriend and my son (nope, he’s just screaming in the background).

4. Does romance really exist?

5. Can men feel empathy?

6. Single mom dating tips, part 1

7. I LOVE being a single mom

8. A letter to my future husband

9. Can single moms really fall in love?

10. Prince charming can kiss my ass

11. Want men to start falling from the sky?

12. My birthday confessional.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage.

Now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

If you feel like a married single mom, click here.


Thinking of becoming a single mom? Everything you need is here in my free eBook.

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan to download your copy. Details are here. I hope it helps and wrote it just for you. I’ve been there and believe me, it will get better!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]
Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage, now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

Lots of questions!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]
It’s been nearly one year since I wrote my first post. And nearly 200, 000 page views later… I’m still hooked on sharing my stories. I set out with one mission, to let other single mothers know they aren’t alone. I surprised myself in discovering that I wasn’t alone – because I’ve been able to hear from all of you, your stories, your joys, your heartaches. You give me more than you could ever imagine.

I’m down to the wire now. Leaving for Denmark Tuesday morning. I already have so much I want to share, to write… and I will try to write or at least post fresh pictures to my Flickr account while I’m gone. I’ll be returning with so many stories, I’m sure… 

Until then you’ll be entertained by a few guest blog posts. And these – some of the most popular posts from my old blog and a few of my personal favorites.

1. Should I leave my husband?

2. Top 10 Most Beautiful Men in the World

3. Caught on tape… my ex, his girlfriend and my son (nope, he’s just screaming in the background).

4. Does romance really exist?

5. Can men feel empathy?

6. Single mom dating tips, part 1

7. I LOVE being a single mom

8. A letter to my future husband

9. Can single moms really fall in love?

10. Prince charming can kiss my ass

11. Want men to start falling from the sky?

12. My birthday confessional.
I’ve been out and about in the single mom dating world for over a year now. I’ve had ups, downs and the spins! Here are a few of the tips I feel compelled to pass on.

And make sure you check out Single Mom Dating Tips, Part 2.

  • Date him – ONLY – if you are truly happier. Remember you and your child/ren can be completely content and happy without a man in your life. If a man wants in – he has to earn it.
  • Watch for red flags: lack of goals, laziness, fakeness, cockiness, selfishness or the inability to make you laugh. Everyone has their own set of red flags. Listen to yours.
  • Learn to differentiate between red flags and that nice little “push him away” reflex you’ve developed now that you have a child. Don’t make a big deal out of nothing. Learn to recognize when you are starting to test him. I’ve noticed recently that part of me is wired now to test the men I’m dating. I set them up with baited questions and they either pass or they fail. The test comes in handy but is sometimes unnecessary.
  • Don’t freak him out. Give him his own space to figure out your reality. Make sure he knows you understand this is a lot for him to take in. If he says, “oh, it’s no big deal, a baby can’t be that bad.” Just count to ten and smile. Let the little things go, the big things will follow in their own time.
  • He will not instantly understand your life or be able to empathize with your situation. That would be impossible. Be rational about it and watch for signs of him trying to understand. Is he really watching? Is he really listening?
  • If he’s not calling you frequently or not making future dates – ditch him immediately. You don’t have time for rif raf.
  • Try to resist putting a time line on anything. For ex: “I’ll give him two more months to change.” Not a good idea. People grow and change on their own terms and on their own time. You don’t know his pace, and he doesn’t know yours. Just watch for little signs of improvement on his goals and your goals as a couple.
  • Men are the same. We have just changed. Sometimes this one hits me like a slap in the face. They’re still completely able to fall madly in love with you, commit to you or they’re able to hurt you without even knowing it.
  • It will get easier. I’ve been a single dating mom for 15 months. Each round gets easier. Each one gets better. As long as you’re making improvements on choosing men, that’s progress! And it will get easier to quickly spot the frogs from the princes.
  • Keep yourself out there. Don’t try once or twice and give up. You are shopping. Don’t tell me you would never go shoe shopping again if you bought a few uncomfortable pairs.

Like I said to the man in my life last night, “Benjamin and I have a pretty good life here and anyone who wants to crash the party has to be up to snuff.” His answer, “I completely understand.” He doesn’t really understand but he is trying. Definitely a good sign.

Good luck single mamas! This stuff isn’t easy.

Want more? Check out Single Mom Dating Tips, Part 2.
A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage.

Now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

If you feel like a married single mom, click here.


Thinking of becoming a single mom? Everything you need is here in my free eBook.

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan to download your copy. Details are here. I hope it helps and wrote it just for you. I’ve been there and believe me, it will get better!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage.

Now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

If you feel like a married single mom, click here.


Thinking of becoming a single mom? Everything you need is here in my free eBook.

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan to download your copy. Details are here. I hope it helps and wrote it just for you. I’ve been there and believe me, it will get better!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]
Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage, now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

Lots of questions!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage.

Now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

If you feel like a married single mom, click here.


Thinking of becoming a single mom? Everything you need is here in my free eBook.

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan to download your copy. Details are here. I hope it helps and wrote it just for you. I’ve been there and believe me, it will get better!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]
Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage, now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

Lots of questions!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]
It’s been nearly one year since I wrote my first post. And nearly 200, 000 page views later… I’m still hooked on sharing my stories. I set out with one mission, to let other single mothers know they aren’t alone. I surprised myself in discovering that I wasn’t alone – because I’ve been able to hear from all of you, your stories, your joys, your heartaches. You give me more than you could ever imagine.

I’m down to the wire now. Leaving for Denmark Tuesday morning. I already have so much I want to share, to write… and I will try to write or at least post fresh pictures to my Flickr account while I’m gone. I’ll be returning with so many stories, I’m sure… 

Until then you’ll be entertained by a few guest blog posts. And these – some of the most popular posts from my old blog and a few of my personal favorites.

1. Should I leave my husband?

2. Top 10 Most Beautiful Men in the World

3. Caught on tape… my ex, his girlfriend and my son (nope, he’s just screaming in the background).

4. Does romance really exist?

5. Can men feel empathy?

6. Single mom dating tips, part 1

7. I LOVE being a single mom

8. A letter to my future husband

9. Can single moms really fall in love?

10. Prince charming can kiss my ass

11. Want men to start falling from the sky?

12. My birthday confessional.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage.

Now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

If you feel like a married single mom, click here.


Thinking of becoming a single mom? Everything you need is here in my free eBook.

All you have to do is become a Facebook fan to download your copy. Details are here. I hope it helps and wrote it just for you. I’ve been there and believe me, it will get better!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]
Take a breath and try to imagine yourself in a thankless marriage, now try to imagine having a little one watching and witnessing – the fights, the anger, the unhappiness or depression.

When marriage counseling fails (it did for me) and you have exhausted all of your options, emotionally and physically to make it work – when do you know if you should leave?

There were a few moments, split seconds of time when I knew I had to give up – that my ex-husband and I were impossibly different – and that he was impossibly uncommitted to truly being the best father and husband he could be. These moments were spread out over two years. And then one of them broke the camel’s back: he told me, didn’t even ask, told me – that he would not be working but staying at home until our (my) savings ran out. Then, he said, he would find a new job.

And that was it. I left – packed up our apartment – moved in with my mom (took little 4-month-old Benjamin of course) and got on with my life.

It wasn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

But being in that marriage, with someone who gave me no respect, no affection, no empathy or even friendship was harder than being a single mother.

I received an e-mail this week that moved me to write this post.

I’m sure you hear it all the time, but your blog really touched me. I’m sitting here at work with a lump in my throat trying really hard not to cry.

I’m married with a ten month old (who is IT, and by it, I mean the absolute greatest love in existence, which you know all about). My husband is, as I’ve heard you describe your ex, USELESS. I read one of your first posts about him not moving the boxes, and that same exact situation has happened to me. Your ex sounds like he’s a good turner-arounder (is that even a word)—he can make something his fault or your fault in a matter of seconds, and takes responsibility for nothing.

Anyway, my husband has been out of town this week, and it’s given me a lot of time to think. Part of me (like a teeny tiny part) is scared to “be alone.”

Do you have any suggestions as far as finances go? Was the legal aspect of divorce and custody a difficult thing for you in that aspect (or others)?

What emotional or financial advice would you give to women who are on the fence? Most divorced parents know the decision does not come easy. It’s not something you just snap into … you think, think, try and try again to make it work and then one day – that’s it – you’re done.

What tipped you? What was the deciding factor in your decision to get a divorce?

Lots of questions!

[Photo credit: Every Day Better Living.com]
It’s been nearly one year since I wrote my first post. And nearly 200, 000 page views later… I’m still hooked on sharing my stories. I set out with one mission, to let other single mothers know they aren’t alone. I surprised myself in discovering that I wasn’t alone – because I’ve been able to hear from all of you, your stories, your joys, your heartaches. You give me more than you could ever imagine.

I’m down to the wire now. Leaving for Denmark Tuesday morning. I already have so much I want to share, to write… and I will try to write or at least post fresh pictures to my Flickr account while I’m gone. I’ll be returning with so many stories, I’m sure… 

Until then you’ll be entertained by a few guest blog posts. And these – some of the most popular posts from my old blog and a few of my personal favorites.

1. Should I leave my husband?

2. Top 10 Most Beautiful Men in the World

3. Caught on tape… my ex, his girlfriend and my son (nope, he’s just screaming in the background).

4. Does romance really exist?

5. Can men feel empathy?

6. Single mom dating tips, part 1

7. I LOVE being a single mom

8. A letter to my future husband

9. Can single moms really fall in love?

10. Prince charming can kiss my ass

11. Want men to start falling from the sky?

12. My birthday confessional.
I’ve been out and about in the single mom dating world for over a year now. I’ve had ups, downs and the spins! Here are a few of the tips I feel compelled to pass on.

And make sure you check out Single Mom Dating Tips, Part 2.

  • Date him – ONLY – if you are truly happier. Remember you and your child/ren can be completely content and happy without a man in your life. If a man wants in – he has to earn it.
  • Watch for red flags: lack of goals, laziness, fakeness, cockiness, selfishness or the inability to make you laugh. Everyone has their own set of red flags. Listen to yours.
  • Learn to differentiate between red flags and that nice little “push him away” reflex you’ve developed now that you have a child. Don’t make a big deal out of nothing. Learn to recognize when you are starting to test him. I’ve noticed recently that part of me is wired now to test the men I’m dating. I set them up with baited questions and they either pass or they fail. The test comes in handy but is sometimes unnecessary.
  • Don’t freak him out. Give him his own space to figure out your reality. Make sure he knows you understand this is a lot for him to take in. If he says, “oh, it’s no big deal, a baby can’t be that bad.” Just count to ten and smile. Let the little things go, the big things will follow in their own time.
  • He will not instantly understand your life or be able to empathize with your situation. That would be impossible. Be rational about it and watch for signs of him trying to understand. Is he really watching? Is he really listening?
  • If he’s not calling you frequently or not making future dates – ditch him immediately. You don’t have time for rif raf.
  • Try to resist putting a time line on anything. For ex: “I’ll give him two more months to change.” Not a good idea. People grow and change on their own terms and on their own time. You don’t know his pace, and he doesn’t know yours. Just watch for little signs of improvement on his goals and your goals as a couple.
  • Men are the same. We have just changed. Sometimes this one hits me like a slap in the face. They’re still completely able to fall madly in love with you, commit to you or they’re able to hurt you without even knowing it.
  • It will get easier. I’ve been a single dating mom for 15 months. Each round gets easier. Each one gets better. As long as you’re making improvements on choosing men, that’s progress! And it will get easier to quickly spot the frogs from the princes.
  • Keep yourself out there. Don’t try once or twice and give up. You are shopping. Don’t tell me you would never go shoe shopping again if you bought a few uncomfortable pairs.

Like I said to the man in my life last night, “Benjamin and I have a pretty good life here and anyone who wants to crash the party has to be up to snuff.” His answer, “I completely understand.” He doesn’t really understand but he is trying. Definitely a good sign.

Good luck single mamas! This stuff isn’t easy.

Want more? Check out Single Mom Dating Tips, Part 2.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

7. It could be cheap

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. Can’t wait to see the final piece. (I wrote the script. It was inspired by this post).

2. You can break people’s hearts without intending to and hate yourself for it… 

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning yourself in Denmark won’t get you there. You actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of diarrhea when you only have three left. Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

How do I answer that one?

Benjamin is asking for his daddy ALL of the TIME.

Morning, noon and night. This is entirely new and I am stumped. He’s done it before but only intermitently. Now he’s hit 2.6 and is very aware of the fact that Daddy and Mommy are not together (ever). What am I supposed to tell him? The “Daddy is at his house” line is getting old. And what does that mean to a 2-year-old anyway? Where is his daddy? Why isn’t his daddy here?

The real answer:

“He’s not here because mommy could not put up with his lazy, worthless ass… he’s not here because our lives would be miserable if he was.”

The right answer:

[Fill in the blank with something a 2-year-old can actually understand = impossible]

Some background:

I left my ex-husband when Benjamin was 4-months-old. They see each other once a week for one night a week. And I’m glad they have such a strong bond. But… well, this is SO incredibly hard. I hate seeing him wanting something that I can’t give him.

Tonight, as he was crying for his dad again I had a thought, a mommy instinct I suppose, “Okay. I need to find the kid a dad.” It was really messed up. Like something I needed to find at the store. Benjamin wants a Dad who is here (why wouldn’t he) – so I should find him one. 

I think that’s a trap a lot of single moms fall into… marrying a man just so their kids can have a father. And for a moment I understood why they do. 

Then I had one of those “What if I had a husband?” daydreams. You know the ones. When you actually envision a man waiting for you downstairs. Cleaning up the kitchen while you’re putting your son to sleep. And then, after the kids are snuggled in tight, you help him finish up, maybe sneak up behind him and give him a tight hug. Then you curl up on the couch to watch a movie together, talk about your days or plans for the future. You’re both wearing turtlenecks and your matching Jeeps are parked out front. 

And then… rather than leave my screaming, howling son in his room shouting for Daddy I caved and let him sleep in my bed (for the second time this week).

THIS IS SO DAMN HARD.

Guide me all of you more experienced single moms. Please, give a mama some tips or just vent.

Related post

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. It is impossible to keep a 2-year-old quiet, especially if he has to be quiet. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying.

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet.

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while on the set of a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category: Historical Fiction. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. <