Lessons Learned.

by mssinglemama on August 16, 2008

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]
A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

Just wanted to pass these on:

1. The words “Quiet on the set” mean absolutely nothing to a 2-year-old. Learned while working on a 48 Hour Film Project this weekend. My team is amazing. As I write this they’re still filming, a grueling process that started last night when we drew our category. (I wrote the screen play. It was inspired by this post).

2. Older does not always mean wiser.

3. You can’t make time stop. I’ve been trying. 

4. Envisioning myself in Denmark won’t get me there. I actually have start packing, cleaning and preparing. Two days left.

5. If you ever see a bag of rotten potatoes or discover one in the back of your cabinet (which you never clean because you hate cleaning storage spaces of any kind) … RUN or cover your face with a scarf. Better yet – just blow up the cabinet. 

6. Do not put off buying new diapers. Your 2-year-old will inevitably come down with a horrific flu bug including a nasty case of the shits when you only have three left. Hint: Look in the car – you may have stuffed some under the seats or buried them in the trunk.

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

marchliz August 17, 2008 at 8:26 am

OMG had to laugh at the rotten potatoes…it happened to my mom once and whoa that is one seriously awful smell!! I assume this happened to you recently 🙂

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Jim Everson August 17, 2008 at 10:21 am

I can personally vouch for number 2.

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single mommy August 17, 2008 at 6:14 pm

I used to stuff extra diapers in my glove box.

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T August 17, 2008 at 8:52 pm

I still have extra diapers in the car and both of mine are potty trained!

Sounds like a cool project. I read that post last week. Whew. I can’t wait to see what you did with it.

I can’t wait to hear about Denmark… maybe you’ll come back in love like Modern Single Mama did. 🙂

(Thanks for the well wishes on my soldier’s eventual spring return. And when’s your birthday? He will be turning 40 in February. I sure hope he’s home for that.)

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LJ August 18, 2008 at 8:01 am

Ha! My son is 4, and there’s STILL the random diaper or pull up in the trunk. They look so tiny now. Aww. 🙂

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Kitkat4real (SOLO dot MOM) August 18, 2008 at 12:03 pm

You must must update daily in Denmark… we are all on the edge of our seats…. and my son is still attempting to build a machine for #3 – so I will keep you posted on that one, just in case. 😉

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WtC August 18, 2008 at 2:18 pm

Hello Ms Single Mama,

I just discovered your blog today and want to sincerely thank you for your efforts, especially regarding the “How to Date a Single Mom” category. I’m 26 yrs old and coming out of a 5 year marriage to a wonderful young lady with no kids. (Good news is we’re staying friends!) I find myself falling for another equally wonderful young lady with a 4 yr old son, and I know she likes me as well. Your advice for guys like me does in fact seem to be among (if not the) best on the web. Thank you!!!

I will continue to follow your blog and will probably post comments and requests for advice as warranted.

Good luck on your trip to visit The Dane – Europe is a wonderful and romantic place!

~ WtC

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mssinglemama August 18, 2008 at 2:29 pm

Kit Kat! I will try to update… I’m guessing you’ll all get very crazy, wild and short posts… with pictures!!! And if not, there will be a ton on the way when I get home.

WtC! Wow! Thank you. You’re not the first. I swear, I get more e-mails from men who have fallen for single moms than anything else. Feel free to drop me a line anytime. And good luck! I’m SO happy for both of you.

And to the rest of you… XOXO, and yes, rotten potatoes and stinky diapers are definitely two things to be avoided.

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ModernSingleMomma August 19, 2008 at 2:29 pm

I am so impressed with you. I want to know more about the 48 Hour Project…
you never cease to impress me, my love!

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Jaclyn August 20, 2008 at 9:15 pm

I wholeheartedly agree with $6 (the diapers). My daughter (3) has been fully potty trained for a month now (OH, the JOY and RELIEF!!!!!). I am not throwing away any of the diapers for a long time. Not for regular accidents, but because every year she gets hit with the flu twice in the winter. I did not spend a nice chunk of money on Disney Princess bedding sets so to have them ruined.

She doesn’t have accidents during the night, but in the case of the flu or something, she most assuredly will. Plus, those things are so expensive…why throw them out just to buy more when diarrhea strikes. I’m pretty sure they have a long shelf life.

I also continue to by baby wipes to use for “Number 2” (wiping for that one isn’t perfected yet) and just as a moist towelette for her face and hands.

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