Comments on: Single Mom S.O.S.: Should I leave my ex alone with my son?

By: jessica

jessica — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 20:51:22 +0000

Krissy, Don’t leave your son with your ex. You know your gut is telling you he isn’t safe in his care. Can you take your classes online? Do you have friends, family, someone that can help you if you need to finish school? Leave your ex out of your son’s life and both of you will be much better off!

By: anon. #2

anon. #2 — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 03:14:13 +0000

Fuck college is right! Your child needs your presence more than anything for at least a few more years. Poverty sucks. But staying close to your son will have many rewards for both of you.

By: Ruby

Ruby — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 23:57:10 +0000

Perhaps there is someone that would look after your son while you are in school in exchange for free boarding. I see ads for that on craigslist.org pretty often, sometimes college students just want a free place to stay while attending school in a different state. It might be worth a shot. I hate to think of you putting of school if its something that you really want to do. Otherwise, there are always online classes, many schools offer complete degrees online. Hope it works out for you!

By: Adam

Adam — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 02:30:41 +0000

The father of your son seems to be more of the child than anything.Social services or WIC can aid in child care and pursue the father for half the expense of the childcare.Contact an attorney and see what your legal rights may or may not be.The best of luck to you and everyone is right on target when they say that college can wait.Single moms and dads are the most selfless people in the world and I believe that one day our children will grow up and be better human beings because of it. Adam

By: mssinglemama

mssinglemama — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 23:10:27 +0000

FYI – Krissy just commented on the old blog – here’s her solution… Krissy – you are sooooo brave. Hugs to you and good luck.

Thanks so much you guys! you have all been so helpful, unfortunatly the grandparents on both sides live hours away and wont be able to help out. Im going to look into the day care, i know my school does not offer it,I already asked, its a private school.If day care does not wrok out then I am thinking of not going back until perhaps my son is in school, i may just stay in my present city and work full time for a few years, adn take up a different career, thats how much i dont want his father taking care of him, he was just complaining about it last night actually, how much he is sacricifcing having to have his son while im in school. His attitude towards all this is a making my descision easier.
thanks again for all your support!
S.O.S mom.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 06:18:05 +0000

You said that “his parents talked him into helping me so I could finish college.” – maybe his mother can help him look after his son – he’s OBVIOUSLY Uninterested and you CANNOT put this child at risk – PERIOD!!

FUCK COLLEGE. YOUR Responsibility is to your child – FIRST. College will wait.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 18:26:52 +0000

1. First and foremost, if she feels he’s neglectful or harming the child, she needs to call DCFS/CPS on him. If she doesn’t want him caring for the child bc he’s a danger to the child he needs help. Which leads to #2:

2. Technically his kid = visitation rights alone legally. So she would either have to suck it up and pray for the best if he forced the issue, or do #1 so he is required to take parenting classes before he gets the child alone.

3. Lastly, in answer to your actual question…what spatulahandle said. Check the local social services office like WIC, DHS, etc. Even a local daycare can tell you who does the subsidizing for low income clients. Look online for your state/county child care assistance program. Also try a local google search for emergency childcare programs. In IL we have one called Kids in Need that does free child child care until things get figured out. Good luck!

By: Katie

Katie — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 14:44:19 +0000

I think the advice Spatula gave was excellent and the same advice I was given. I know that most counties/states have pretty good Social Services that offer help with those types of situation and most realtively large universities/colleges offer on site daycare that is usually a lot less than you would pay for off site. But I would not leave him with his father, until he proves himself capable of taking care of the baby properly. Maybe it would be good if he took some baby care/parenting classes.

By: spatulahandle

spatulahandle — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 06:17:33 +0000

Hello,
If you are not comfortable leaving the baby with his dad then don’t. Where I live we can get help with childcare services through the Childcare Bureau , they go by income and will pay for childcare while you are going to school. I found out about it when I applied for food stamps and medical help…If you don’t know where to start go to or call the closest welfare office. Also another option is to look into the college you are going to and sometimes they offer childcare, I don’t know how much it is though. Parenting classes are also offered through Child Youth and Family services or whatever they may call it where you live, but honestly, if he is neglecting the baby I wouldn’t leave him with him.
Good luck.