Can he commit? Check his cab light.

by mssinglemama on August 6, 2008

A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare, or a committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go off? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap? No… not at all. But as soon as the next right fare comes along – he grabs her. His last girlfriend may have also been right but the timing was off. Depends on his life stage. Did I lose you?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan.  If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future.  Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do.  The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Read up on men’s phase of life stages here. Good stuff. For example are you with a “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free” guy, the “All About Me” man or the “Family Man.”

So… what do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]
A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare, or a committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go off? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap? No… not at all. But as soon as the next right fare comes along – he grabs her. His last girlfriend may have also been right but the timing was off. Depends on his life stage. Did I lose you?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan.  If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future.  Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do.  The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Read up on men’s phase of life stages here. Good stuff. For example are you with a “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free” guy, the “All About Me” man or the “Family Man.”

So… what do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]
A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare, or a committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go off? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap? No… not at all. But as soon as the next right fare comes along – he grabs her. His last girlfriend may have also been right but the timing was off. Depends on his life stage. Did I lose you?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan.  If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future.  Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do.  The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Read up on men’s phase of life stages here. Good stuff. For example are you with a “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free” guy, the “All About Me” man or the “Family Man.”

So… what do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]
A friend of mine has fallen.

Totally and completely. Off the deep end. In love. And the man… he’s falling too. They’re both young. Their lives are together. Everything is ripe for – BIG BREATHLESS PAUSE – marriage. (Yes, I said that scary “M” word) One huge reason for this – both of their cab lights are on. They’ve both finally decided, in their own time, that it’s time to settle down.

What is a cab light you ask?

A cab light (I’m stealing this from Sex and the City) is when someone, namely a man, is ready to get married. When a man’s cab light is on it means he’s ready for a long-term fare or committed relationship.

But you can’t force a cab light to turn on. That’s the tricky party. It’s all about timing. So should you wait for your man’s cab light to go on? Or should you just give up? You definitely can’t pressure a man into marriage or commitment – that’s relationship suicide.

So when a man’s cab light is on does that mean he’ll fall for the first fare that falls into his lap?

I’ll toss it to Johneen Manning at Filly.ca who wrote an amazing article on the cab light theory:

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he’s got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan. If he doesn’t have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future. Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man’s shoes, but (unlike women) men don’t wear uncomfortable shoes.

It’s not to say that just because your guy isn’t actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he’s not the one for you — but don’t fool yourself to thinking he’s the one for you right now. Don’t waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it’s the oldest game in the book, and you’ll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do. The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Good stuff. Keep reading to learn how to spot different stages of manhood like “Foot Loose and Fancy-Free”, “All About Me” or the “Family Man.”

What do you think about the Sex and the City cab light theory? Is timing really everything? For my friend it is and I couldn’t be happier for her! They really, truly adore each other and I so want it to work out.

[Photo: The World Famous Ultimate Taxi]

{ 2 trackbacks }

A new frontier. | better-dating.org
November 10, 2008 at 7:18 am
A new frontier.
November 12, 2008 at 6:56 pm

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Alexis August 6, 2008 at 7:58 am

Man oh man…I have been pondering this exact topic for a while now. I go back and forth with my thoughts, reading about the different stages just helped my mind a bit. My son’s father is in the all-about-me stage….and really can’t go anywhere that I want to go. It frustrates me so. It’s so hard to hold onto this guy…but I do cause he is the father and it’s hard to get the family dream outta my head, and because a big part of me thinks he is worth waiting for. But he is really? Will he ever make a commitment? My gut tells me no, and guts tell all don’t they? His light is nowhere near on….and this single mama just wants some full fledged love.

Reply

shannon August 6, 2008 at 10:38 am

Well I don’t know about men, the ones I dated always seemed ready for marriage, but I was the hesitant one. And I know that the first time I dated my new husband, my cab light was OFF. I thought it was broken. The second time around it was on. All the time. 🙂

Reply

solo mama August 6, 2008 at 10:56 am

She forgot about the let’s-get-married-and-have-a-baby-then-years-later-realize-this-isn’t-for-me guy. Good article-I enjoyed it!

Reply

pisceshanna August 6, 2008 at 11:23 am

Obviously, I have no clue if the cab light is on or off. I figured since HE proposed to ME, it was somewhat on. Sadly, I think he was just blinded by the (my) headlights….hehehe.

Maybe his cab light was one that constantly blinked on and off. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to be on duty or off duty. Maybe he was one of those cab drivers that only turned his cab light on when it was convenient for him.

As always, good post, and I will check out the rest of the article!

Reply

kit4real August 6, 2008 at 11:27 am

I think timing is crucial. You could meet the “perfect” guy that meets all your expectations; and he “not” be ready for a committed relationship and you’re already in that mode, mentally and emotionally. So it is best to let someone like that go unless you are willing to put your own life into ‘idle’ mode while you wait to see if they “turn their light on.” I think this analogy is great. Just hope if someone “idles” they don’t run out of gas while they sit waiting for what may never happen. 🙂

Reply

goin-crazy August 6, 2008 at 1:58 pm

Timing is an important part of any relationship. I may meet the man of my dreams one of these days. He may be perfect is way, shape and form. But is he ready to pay bills? Share a house? Take care of 2 kids that he did not create? Be a role model? He may be ready for me but not for the us. In my life, there is no me, just an us.

Reply

mssinglemama August 6, 2008 at 6:43 pm

Alexis – well, now that you know about the “Cab Light” might help … I hope : ) So hard when the non-cab light man is the father. Same here.

Shannon – Mine is totally OFF – well, goes day by day I guess. Today it’s semi-on, tomorrow could be OFF again – need to wait until it’s on at least 4 days out of 7!

Solo Mama – totally, wanted to write that myself actually. What if it’s on and then it turns off or fades into a flicker?

Pisces Hanna – Funny – headlights – LOL.

Kit – LOVE your analogy – idling and running out of gas. Awesome point.

Goin Crazy – Yes, always “Us” never “Me” – makes it hard for me to figure out what I want though. Hence this blog and my constant ramblings.

Reply

Katie August 6, 2008 at 6:44 pm

I don’t know, I think this theory can apply to both women and men. There have been times where my cab light has been off, blinking, and on. Right now, I think it is still blinking, but I am not sure.

Reply

Ms. Single Mama August 6, 2008 at 6:47 pm

Katie – we were commenting at the same time. Definitely applies to us both. But when a man’s cab light is “on” and he’s attractive – sexy – successful, he isn’t perceived as “desperate” he’s perceived as “a total catch.”

Make sense? Not that we’re all perceived as desperate when our cab light is truly on… women I mean – but it is tougher if we’re ready to settle down.

Reply

Dan August 7, 2008 at 3:35 am

My cab was demolished 4 years ago. It took a while to fix it, but now it’s in great shape. Since turning on my light about a year ago- I’ve come across some I didn’t want to stop for; others, I wanted to stop for but they didn’t even glanced at my direction. One flagged me down but then she didn’t want to get in; she later decided to track me down, but I was already in some other part of town. For a while there, I was talking to someone though the window but she decided not to get in- I called her but she didn’t return my calls. Lo and behold!- after a year, I finally have a passenger, very very new, she literally just got inside the cab, but the cab door is still open- it’s that close to getting this fare but we’re still figuring out if it’s a good match- she’s thinking if she wants to stay in the cab and close the door so that we can get going, and in my part, whether she’s a passenger that I’d want to be with for the long haul- so we’re taking it one step at a time.

Reply

Katie August 7, 2008 at 5:41 pm

Well today, rignt now, it is off. Things just feel weird right now and I am too stressed with everything else going on in my life to fight it. I give. And now I am going to go have a good cry.

Reply

Livingalmostlarge August 8, 2008 at 11:16 pm

The older you are, the better you know yourself. My college roommate’s parents were married after 3 months of dating and are still happy 30+ years together. They had her about 1 year after marriage.

By the way at the time they were 35 and 36. They meet on a summer vacation. I meet her dad at 19 and asked him how he knew?

His response? I just knew, I was older, already had been engaged and it didn’t work. And after a few weeks it began to feel right. Then after 2 months, I knew I couldn’t let her go. That was it for them both.

It was wildly romantic, but then I heard the same story about 10 years later from my older brother. He was 35 and she was 33, and they married less than a year of dating. They were so much more experienced.

Reply

thegirlgetsringreview.tumblr.com January 29, 2014 at 3:38 am

We are supplying free samples of premium Belgium chocolates.
To be qualified to apply, merely reply to our comment along with your address and we’ll get it out
over the following day.

Reply

home remodeling and repair courses September 2, 2014 at 2:13 pm

Yes! Finally someone writes about remodeling plans.

Reply

Leave a Comment