Flirty texts… go away.

by mssinglemama on July 29, 2008

My phone has been on fire for weeks now.

The culprits? A number of men, some of whom I really want to hear from and the others… well, I think they definitely have me in one of those “fish nets.” They cast a text out to a several women they’ve gathered numbers for over time and then wait for someone to bite on the bait.

I heard this “fish net” texting term from a gorgeous man I met recently who is wise in the ways of flirty texts. “My buddy actually purges his phone book once a month. He deletes the women who haven’t responded.”

I’d heard about mass texting before but didn’t know there was a name for it or that there was a science to it. Anyhow, I think I’m in two men’s nets right now and it’s really starting to annoy me. So I must vent.

Man #1: An engineer in his 20′s. We met at a bar while playing pool, over two months ago. Haven’t seen him since.

You may remember him, and yes, he’s still around … well I should say, he was around (I hope). After several more texts and two more back to back drunk dial phone calls I sent him this text:

I really appreciate my sleep. Please take my number out of your phone.

Haven’t heard from him since, but that was only a few days ago. I can only hope he deleted me.

Man #2: A single dad, in his late 30′s. We met at a poker game over one month ago. Again, haven’t seen him since.

He has been texting me every night for two weeks now. He may take a few nights off, but – sheesh – poor guy needs to get a clue.

Here’s a sampler of what he sends me:

July 24, 7:45pm

Would you like any company 2nite?

July 24, 9:33pm (same night)

Would you like any company 2nite? … I will be at the (bar) playing tx hold on (x) ave.

He almost got me here. I love poker so much I would play with, well – with anyone who had a deck of cards and some chips.

July 26, 10:47pm

I have a new btl of win. call me if interestd.

July 28, 6:41pm

I have a glass of wine, want 2 join me for a glass?

Ummm. Fellas, if you want to catch a fish, don’t light up her phone with text messages like these. Give me a reason. Ask me how I’m doing. Tell me a funny joke. Throw some variety out there. Stick out from the crowd. And DO NOT make sexual jokes unless you’ve at least established a relationship with us already. Or, man up and pick up the phone

Here’s and example of the perfect flirty text exchange – romantic and sweet:

Me: We should have pizza and wine at my place.

Him: I know it’s not a summer wine but do you like Cabernets? I know a good one that goes with pizza. Otherwise I have a good backup white.

Me: Sounds perfect! Should I grab the pizza?

Him: I can grab it. Let’s give you a well-deserved effortless night.

Wow. Now, that got my attention and scored him some major points.

Related posts:

  1. Dear Single Men:
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  3. Via Text: Wanna Go Out?
  4. The ultimate single dad.

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The dating front
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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Crazy Computer Dad July 30, 2008 at 12:35 am

I get one or two texts off and then just dial the number. so much easier to talk.

I crack a lot of jokes, but they are rarely funny. :-) Hey, I’m geek and a single dad. My son loves,well, some of them…sort of. I went on a few dates with a woman who was a blood doctor. I sent her blood jokes (yes there are some, you just have to be creative). She said no one had EVER told her a blood joke before. Some were original, some my son found in a book he was reading.

I usually find out from people when it is too late to call or text. If I’m drinking, then I’m with someone worth talking to and being with so I never drunk txt or dial.

So where do I sign up for the princess that wants to give me a well deserved effortless night???? :-)


mama llama July 30, 2008 at 8:29 am

Stories like that make me think I will never, ever go back to dating ever again. The “ewwwww” factor ranks up there with the worst of the diapers–and I’m long past those.

What strikes the biggest heebie-jeebie bone with me is the impersonal mass-mailing idea. If we are not savvy enough to know, we could really have a number done on us.

Also scares me for the future when La Princesita will have her own phone, let alone online profiles and chat rooms, when I will have to teach her that she can trust no one. The idea you bring up here is applicable in so many aspects of Life today, not only in the dating world but as parents as well.

Be well!


randomesq July 30, 2008 at 8:41 am

Man, dating is difficult!

Texting is something that works with some people and just doesn’t with others. I think that your straight-forward response to the drunken texts/calls was great.

I do think it is, or certainly can be, a bit of a cop out to text instead of picking up a phone – however, I do think that some women appreciate the ability to not have to respond immediately, etc. Obviously, WHAT is texted is really what matters and things like, “Want to splt win 2nite?” is a little lame. Of course, now I am tempted to text this to you.

I hope you have your effortless night (and many more), soon!


cisforcow July 30, 2008 at 8:43 am

mass texting? I’m really far behind. I’ve just begun texting within the last year – so this is a new concept to me….i cannot imagine the losers that do this. JC on cracker, isn’t dating hard enough already?


J-Fo July 30, 2008 at 9:42 am

I’d marry a guy on that last text exchange alone!!! Totally with you on the texting issue. I’ve got a potential suitor (mind you, he’s a handful of years younger, so maybe I’m just not up with the times) that texts me like 5 times a day.

Um, hello, potential suitor (who, by the way, seems to have a number of other redeeming qualities so I’m being a bit forgiving at the moment)…the phone. I’d like to introduce you to the actual phone functionality of that little electronic thing in your hands. I’d love for you to use it. Dial me up and let’s have an actual voice transmission.

(Not to mention, he has this outrageously cute semi-southern accent which I am crazy about)

My thumbs are not up for text relationships. Period.


QTMama July 30, 2008 at 9:57 am

Poker! *drool* I love the poker too my friend. As you well know.

I’m a texter, I must admit. However, being asked out via text message seems to be the “new thing” in addition to the mass texting. Although any man that must mass text to get some action?

Ummm … no.


jonb July 30, 2008 at 10:01 am

haha yes! those guys are smooth! i prefer something real smooth and classy like “skins-cowboys at 4. have beer, you bring wings and your smile.”


T July 30, 2008 at 11:26 am

Mass texting?! That’s just too much.

There is a guy who texts me on accident but it seems rather purposeful. You know? He acts like he’s texting another girl but knows damn well its me. Like I’m supposed to be jealous or something?

This same guy texted me one night after I had just told him I was going out on the bike. He said, “Wanna go dancing 2nite?” Of course I didn’t answer so he continued…”No dancing?” and then “I get it. I guess I’ve scared you off.” and then…”Some women just don’t know how to take my flirting.” and then on and on. Finally I texted him back (after my ride) and said, “I was BIKING.”

Sheesh! Nothing worse than bein’ all insecure over text messages. Like you said, Man up and pick up the damn phone!


K July 30, 2008 at 11:59 am

I know a bunch of guys who have done this in the past . it’s like communication is too easy now-a-days. I’d like to think that younger guys tend to do this more, but it’s everywhere. I allow my friends and boyfriend to contact and communicate with me this way, but the odd guy -from-past will pop up every once in awhile asking for a drink or something… out of nowhere. what happened to picking up the phone?
Or email? the idea of being one of 10 isn’t all that fun, for anyone!


SeriouslyKaren July 30, 2008 at 10:45 pm

Mass texts? Really? Good to know.


mssinglemama July 31, 2008 at 12:11 am


So GLAD I wrote this post.

It definitely happens, often. So if you get a text without anything specific about you … could be a mass text – usually come from guys you randomly give your number to at a bar or even during sober, daylight hours. Define random however you want – but age doesn’t matter.


mssinglemama July 31, 2008 at 12:11 am

LOVE these texting stories by the way.

More, please…


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