The Rebound Year

by mssinglemama on July 25, 2008

After I left my ex-husband I wanted a new one. Immediately.

I had been craving intimacy with him for two years and I was finally free to find it…with anyone. I was so blinded by my own desperation that I would check every man’s left ring finger… no matter who they were. I just wanted someone. Pizza deliver drivers, mailmen, waiters, old men, young men – didn’t matter.

My friends, family and co-workers would patiently listen as I ran through play by plays of the words a crush had used in an e-mail or the phone tag we were playing. “He hasn’t called me back yet. Should I call him again anyway?” I was even annoying myself.

And then one of them, a single mom herself, gave me advice I didn’t want to hear.

“You’re not ready yet. Just listen to yourself. You need one year before you’ll actually be able to have a relationship.”

“No! No way! I am not crazy. And I am ready. I can’t wait that long!”

I rationalized it, made excuses for myself and kept dating anyway. But, she was right, none of my little flings or mini-relationships turned out. I would overreact or fall too deeply too quickly – unable to see things clearly. Remember the biker?

But every rebounder must rebound…so here are some post-divorce dating tips:

  • You probably aren’t ready. Accept it and you may avoid hurting yourself or someone else.
  • Be friends first. Take it as slow as you can.
  • Focus on yourself and on the kids.
  • Start a journal or a blog, don’t bore your friends to death with your dating stories.

And please don’t shoot the messenger. I remember exactly how you’re feeling and yes, that feeling of loneliness is so incredibly painful … but your year will be over before you know it.

Here’s another great article on dating after divorce.

More of my post-divorce dating posts you might like:

Related posts:

  1. E-Harmony Really Does Suck: Worst web site of the year by Time Magazine
  2. The Single Mama Stud of the Year award goes too…
  3. To find a prince you might have to kiss a lot of frogs.
  4. How to date the childless.

{ 4 trackbacks }

Single Minded Women » Blog Archive » Single Moms you can get Your Boyfriend’s Kids to Tolerate you…maybe even like you!
July 27, 2008 at 9:29 am
How Do I Get Over My Ex?
October 15, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Single Moms Dating Fear
April 30, 2010 at 10:06 am - A gift for you.
April 9, 2012 at 10:09 am

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