This could be a letter to no body. To the air. To the moon. To whoever is listening. Because I may never get married again. But I just felt like writing a love letter to somebody … so why not him?
He who is a distant figment of my imagination but maybe if I start envisioning myself in a relationship I can move closer to ditching that baggage.
Dear Mr. Husband Man:
I know you’re out there.
I might be 86 by the time we meet, but at least we will have finally found each other. I can feel you if I shut my eyes tight enough. I know you will love me like no one ever has. I know you will understand me. You’ll help me open myself up, let myself go. I think your patience will compliment my impulsiveness. You’ll be the calm to my storm and I to yours.
I’ve seen it. Have you? Or have you just seen glimmers of it? You must believe in it though because you’re my future husband and that’s a job requirement – one of the reasons why I’ll love you so much.
The magic will be even easier when you meet Benjamin. Once you do you’ll understand why I told you on our first date that he needed to happen.
He is my everything. His eyes. His nose. His heart.
Every little piece of him started in my soul and now all of those little pieces are walking around – talking, hugging, loving and laughing – a bright and beautiful little boy with a soul of his own. And I made him! I’ll probably remind you of this often and make fun of you because you can’t make one. You’ll laugh and then maybe I’ll decide to make more … with your help.
So…where are you? When are you going to pop into my life? How is it going to happen? Will we ever even meet?
I wonder what you’re doing right now?
It’s a Monday night.
You’re probably home. Working on something. I think you like to work a lot…or maybe you’ve finished working and you’re reading, writing or creating before you crawl into bed.
I also wanted to tell you that I’m not ready to meet you yet. Almost… but not quite. I’m working on it. I am dating but I won’t settle for anything less than – you. And when we do find each other (just a heads up) I’m sure I’ll ask you out.