Single moms are on fire.
Single moms are hot, hot, hot.
Yep. We are trendy. It’s official.
This fact was pointed out to me in my first piece of hate mail from a YouTube viewer, one of nearly 500 who have already watched Morgan and I’s “Dating & Single Moms” video. With so many views, and there will be more, the crazies are bound to come out. Regardless he made one point I agreed on.
Women with children are realizing it’s okay to be single. But while Mr. Crazy thinks this awakening to not “needing” a man marks the downfall of society, I think it’s about time.
It’s about time single moms can be proud and happy. We didn’t choose this path but here it is - and it’s in our children’s best interest to make the best of it - day in and day out. And yes, society (ours anyway) is slowly coming to accept single moms and dads. We have celebrity role models all over the place. Some good. Some bad. Angelina Jolie (the original who snagged Brad Pitt), Kate Hudson (the newbie) and who is that? Madonna? She might be a single mom again. Or is she already? I can’t keep up.
And last night Must Love Kids premiered on TLC. There was even a single dad on this last season of the Bachelorette. Yep. Single moms and dads are all over the place. And while it concerns me that some young women might actually aspire to be a single mom or actually want to be caught up in a dramatic and sexy divorce (because the reality is much darker) I think the positives of society accepting the single parent household (whether it be through mainstream media or blogs) is ultimately a good thing.
And to the question - are happy and proud single moms bad for society?
Time will be the judge but I can tell you one thing that is for certain - it’s bad for society when fathers leave their families, check out mentally or lash out physically against the mothers of their children or when they refuse to pay child support or play a role in their child’s lives. This is something that has been happening for generations but now, finally, the women and children left behind can actually communicate openly.
I think the responsibility of how our society and how this country’s children turn out lies on everyone’s shoulders - mothers, fathers, grandparents, neighbors, aunts, uncles. It takes a village and if anyone ever lays blames solely on the mother because she slept with the wrong man and god forbid (got pregnant) than they can … well … I’ll leave that one up to your imagination.
Just had to vent after that horrible, horrible e-mail from YouTube which I won’t reprint here because it was too disgusting and offensive.
P.S. I had my neighbor TIVO Must Love Kids, no TV in the house so I missed it! Darn it. Will definitely catch it this weekend and from what I’m reading - the reviews are great.
P.P.S. This is an entry into MommyPie’s BlogHerNot ‘08 Conference the topic: “How to Nail a Crazy YouTube Commenter with a Post”
Filed under: Being a single mom, Striking thoughts, Uncategorized
Yowza, so the guy on YouTube is probably related to my ex’s mom, because you know it was an immaculate conception each and every time with all three of her grandchildren.
I never planned on being a single mother but it is the reality that I live with every day. It does take a village and with the involvement of his grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and some minimal participateion from his dad, my son will turn out just fine.
You know what, after I fully cleared the disgusting taste in my mouth left after reading the haters email and comments, I actually was kinda glowing….WE ARE GETTING HATE MAIL! THAT MEANS ENOUGH PEOPLE ARE PAYING ATTENTION TO ATTRACT THE LOONIES!
I agree with you, he did get one thing right: Women with children are realizing there is no shame in being single.
For me THIS IS THE BEST THING FOR SOCIETY. Happy, healthier, whole-er parents of all kinds is what our children deserve. Its not the title or the relationship status of the parents that teaches a child the most about who he is and what he is worth, its how their parents feel about themselves and their place on the plant. Shame breeds more shame. Love breeds more love. Its just the way it works! =)
I’m so happy for the sake of humanity’s Collective Unconscious that single parents are standing up for their own and their families self-worth. Jung would say this is definitely a GOOD thing for society.
That poor man has such a pathetic, sad and lonely life, that the only thing he can do is lash out at people he is jealous of: those that have found happiness, joy, balance, and satisfaction in their lives. No, most of us didn’t choose or aspire to be single moms, but gosh darn it, we are making the best of it, and not only that, we are HOT, happy and LOVING IT!!!! That man can kiss my hot single mommy ass.
Amen. I am beaming right now. And also have exhausted, puffy eyes. Point - you all rock.
Friends on the porch tonight. FUN. Must run…
You have only arrived when the hate mail starts coming. You have arrived, girl! Woo hoo! And you’ve made some excellent points in this post. I, too, have strong concerns that Hollywood glamorizes the “baby bump” and the ease of being an unmarried parent. HOWEVER, for those of us who are going to make damned sure that we build great lives for our children and ourselves… we shall look at your hate mail and pity you.
The good news is that this guy has to live with his miserable self all of the time. We just had to read one blip of his misery and then we can be on our merry way!
Ugh thats all we need in the world..MORE HATERS…Please. Wake up, you live in a new world, change is coming, soon you maybe be living in an America where not only are 32% of babies being born are to unmarried single women, but you WILL HAVE A BLACK MAN FOR PRESIDENT MUAHH HAHAHAH! Saints Preserve us! Whatever will you do?
Thank God we single moms are ready to take the initiative to be strong, happy, creative, resourceful, insightful problem solvers. THAT is what this world needs in the future, not another small-minded, woe-as-me, clinging desperately to ignorant ideas of the past, LOSER like that dude.
Time to catch up to the rest of us, we single moms aren’t lookin’ back.
At times I’m not even sure we ask whether a single mom or parents are better. It’s all about the strength of the indiviuals involved. A good mother father combo is awesome, a bad/good mother father combo is ok, and two bad parents is to be honest, worse than one bad one.
Being a single mother is harder and therefore more likely for it to be hard on the kid, but overall, its still determinant on the parents involved.
You seem to do well for yourself.
Wow. You definitely speak for all of us. Go girl!
I don’t know one single mother who would have chosen this path but it’s ours to walk. Making the best out of our lives, embracing the gifts we do have, that’s our roles as mothers and now the heads of our households. Would he prefer we stay in unhealthy often destructive relationships just to keep our families intact? What does that teach our children?
There will always be people who look down from their lofty towers and judge others. The thing about lofty towers? They are up there alone.
[...] How to Nail a Crazy YouTube Commenter with a Post Instructor: Ms. Single Mama [...]
Hanna, a black man for President, who, wait for it, was raised by a SINGLE MOM. Oh my!
These comments actually have tears of pride welling up … seriously. Pride tears. Is that what they are? Or little tears of strength.
And Seriously Karen you sparked a thought - we should just lock the guy in a closet with any one of our ex-husbands, that should do the trick.
Wonderful blog. Hate mail does well for you!
I agree we do need to be ok with being single, move on and enjoy living. We have to make the most of this situation and yes the village does help to raise the child; so we need to be social people allowing those around us that “do” want to be a part of our children’s lives, neighbors, cousins, aunts and grandparents (even if that means it won’t be their father in some cases) to be a part and accepting their mentoring and assistance where needed.
Speaking as the daughter of a mother who was single for much of my childhood….amen. Awesome post.
Wahoo. Good for you! Though I am not a single mom, I totally admire everyone’s strength. From knowing Mommypie to learning about all of you (especially through BlogHerNot) I really have so much respect. Plus, you’re all so hilarious!
Thanks for stopping by the Bee Hive! Hope we can enlighten each other some more!
From a formerly single mama, all I can say is that you’re handling it with aplomb that I never, ever managed, even on my best freaking days.
Fantastic post, Ms. Single mama!!!!! I jumped over from BlogHerNot…nice to “meet” you!
Here’s why I like this post so much: you are so much classier than Crazy YouTube Man will ever be. Rather than sinking to his level, or even getting defensive, you rise above and show how great you are. This is wonderful, and I’m so glad MommyPie’s innovation this weekend introduced me to you. You Go!
Another BlogHerNot-er here! Great post. Double ditto to MommyTime’s comment. Thanks for saying it for me!
As a child of a now single mama (my parents separated 6 yrs ago it’s STILL not glamorous) I can totally attest to the fact that while it does suck not having two parents there every day, it IS 1001% better than having two parents in the home everyday that fight and argue and hate each other. Or even worse, just don’t love each other at all.
Keep on rockin’ single mama! From what I can tell, you’re doing marvelously.
Agree with MommyTime 500%. Way to rise above MSM. Awesome, well thought out post.
Single Moms ROCK!
The Doogs are here! The Doogs are here! I’m SO excited.
Way to go with BlogHerNot MommyPie, it’s been fun. I’ve only finished a few of my courses, but I’ll be popping back in throughout the weekend.
[...] Are Single Moms a Trend? [...]
Sorry to hear about the crazy YouTube guy. I am new to the single mom world and love the support I have found online. Don’t get me wrong - my family and friends (both married and single) have been incredibly supportive. However, I don’t know of any single moms in my area, so it’s great to find this blog. My life isn’t what I pictured it being right now, but I love being able to focus all my attention on my little man. He’s the one person I know will be in my life, so I’m not interested in dating or wasting it on any “maybes” right now though I will want to date at some point in the future. Is it possible to raise a boy that will not have commitment issues when he’s older (ahem, like his father)?? I’m going to try!
Yes - Nicole - definitely possible.
My father was raised by a single mom and was incredibly committed to his family until he passed away 9 years ago.
And look at Barack Obama - the shining example of a single mom’s product!!!! Yes, your son will be just fine. : )
So glad you found my blog.
[...] P.S. Proves my point that Single Moms are on Fire! [...]
[...] speaking of dating with kids, Ms. Single Mama says “Single moms are on fire.“ I like the About section of her website too. She says “Prince Charming can kiss my [...]