by mssinglemama on July 31, 2008
Today sucked. Everything caught up with me.
Working full-time, being a mom, trying to date - mix all of that with a good dose of self-doubt and you’ve got the ingredients for one grumpy mama. I’m also dead tired.
Last night Benjamin kissed me good night and prounced off to my bedroom, jumped into my bed and curled up on my pillow. I caved when I tried to move him and he said, “NO! I go nigh-nigh Mommy.” He’s so independent. So fiercly adorable. I had to respect it and besides, he was passing out. Seemed like a good idea.
But then he kicked and stirred all night. Bad idea.
Because of my hazy, foggy day of dead tired doom - Benjamin got ice cream for dinner. Yep. You heard me. Ice cream for dinner.
On the sidewalk in my little urbanized neighborhood, the happy couples are out in force.
Some are at the start of their relationships… flawless outfits, perfume and cologne dripping out of their pores and sheepish gazes. They’ve found each other - a different kind of haze.
Then there were the veterans. The happy married couples. They’ve been in their haze for a while. Their eyes are different. The spark isn’t new but it’s there - gleaned over time, so wise, so sure. Each holding one of their children’s hands. The kids say hello to Benjamin while their parents smile at the strange little boy pushing his stroller- swerving through people, avoiding curbs and silly potted plants. He can’t see over the top and has no idea where he’s going.
He’s shouting too, “I wok to muh house, see? I wok! To muuuu (crescendo)hhhh house!!! Bye!” And his mom is snapping pictures like a dork. Because I love this stuff, have to capture it. Can’t let it go.
Across the street is the bar patio where Benjamin’s father kissed me for the first time. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on July 30, 2008
If you’ve ever sniffed a stinky sippy cup and wondered why they sell those things to parents (and rip us off every time)…
Read this.
Written by a single mother, of course! We’re smart like that.
by mssinglemama on July 30, 2008
So much for our hot Hollywood single parent couple. Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong broke up. Sad. They were together for 3 months. Here’s an excerpt from the article in US Magazine:
“There was no drama or ugliness – They just decided to end things,” a source close to the couple tells Us. “There is no hatred, just sadness.”
The pair quickly became inseparable with sightings of them in Austin, New York and Los Angeles – though both dodged questions about their relationship.”
They decided to call it quits after a weekend conference in Ohio. Armstrong’s twin girls are seven and his son is nine. Hudson’s son, Ryder, is just four.
by mssinglemama on July 29, 2008
My phone has been on fire for weeks now.
The culprits? A number of men, some of whom I really want to hear from and the others… well, I think they definitely have me in one of those “fish nets.” They cast a text out to a several women they’ve gathered numbers for over time and then wait for someone to bite on the bait.
I heard this “fish net” texting term from a gorgeous man I met recently who is wise in the ways of flirty texts. “My buddy actually purges his phone book once a month. He deletes the women who haven’t responded.”
I’d heard about mass texting before but didn’t know there was a name for it or that there was a science to it. Anyhow, I think I’m in two men’s nets right now and it’s really starting to annoy me. So I must vent.
Man #1: An engineer in his 20’s. We met at a bar while playing pool, over two months ago. Haven’t seen him since.
You may remember him, and yes, he’s still around … well I should say, he was around (I hope). After several more texts and two more back to back drunk dial phone calls I sent him this text:
I really appreciate my sleep. Please take my number out of your phone. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on July 28, 2008
Just a warning to any of my current or potential suitors.
I love you all, I do - but I’m not sure if you’ll get me in the end… because I am not sure about what I’m feeling, I can’t be. I have a son. I have to be very, very careful with my heart. I hope you can understand that and I’ll be as honest as I can. Always, you can count on my honesty.
And to my single mamas, men can definitely fall in love with us - just like they would fall for a single, childless woman. The reality on the other end is different, but that’s another story for another post.
But what about us? What does falling in love as a single mom feel like?
I’ve theorized that it will never really feel the same. If that’s true than what does it feel like? I’m tossing this to the veterans, the now married ex-single moms, or those of you who have really, truly fallen since becoming a single mom.
by mssinglemama on July 27, 2008
This summer I did something I’ve never done before… I planted six teeny tiny tomato plants.
I’m not a gardner. So this, as you can imagine, was quite an accomplishment.
I watered them, staked them and then the yellow flowers showed up, then the green tomatoes. And Benjamin, like any 2.4 year old would be, has been enthralled by the tomatoes. He tries to pick them, talks to them, smells them. We’ve been patiently waiting for them to turn red.
This morning we headed to the Farmer’s Market to buy some red tomatoes and then I found 12 sunflowers for $10.00! And who says money can’t buy happiness. The flowers were the perfect touch to our magnificent morning. No major messy disasters, just Benjamin and I full of energy - cleaning, playing, dancing. When we got home we both went about our business.
Me in the kitchen arranging the flowers… and Benjamin outside with his little bicycle and the tomatoes.
But while I was doing this …
he was doing this…
As you can see … some of those tomatoes have been in there for a while. He was collecting them quietly and discreetly, hiding them in the trunk of his Radio Flyer. But today, it was an all out tomato attack, he couldn’t wait any longer.
The massacre ended when Benjamin popped up to the screen door, “Mommy! I got Matos.” Then he dashed away.
“Tomatoes. You have toma— OH NOOOOOO.” I ran outside, and then I saw them. Some were strewn on the sidewalk, the others were in his hands and the rest - in the trunk. I’m over it. And it was so damn cute…worth the story. It also reminded me to write about something I’ve been meaning to get to …
We are single moms. We can’t keep our eyes on our kids every single minute. Not like any mom really can, but I think, because we don’t have two parents around - our kids have more freedom to reap mayhem when the opportunity presents itself. (I think this is a plus - Benjamin is an incredibly independent kid). But the casualties, like an entire crop of garden tomatoes, can be a bit painful.
Do you have any single mom casualty stories? Have things been lost, destroyed or taken advantage of when you’re busy doing something else?
P.S. Benjamin has been THE most amazing little guy lately. No more tantrums. So courteous, so funny … and so damn happy. My little tomato is turning out just fine and I couldn’t be happier. Now if I could just grow eyes in the back of my head, my real tomatoes might be fine too.
by mssinglemama on July 25, 2008
After I left my ex-husband I wanted a new one. Immediately.
I had been craving intimacy with him for two years and I was finally free to find it…with anyone. I was so blinded by my own desperation that I would check every man’s left ring finger… no matter who they were. I just wanted someone. Pizza deliver drivers, mailmen, waiters, old men, young men - didn’t matter.
My friends, family and co-workers would patiently listen as I ran through play by plays of the words a crush had used in an e-mail or the phone tag we were playing. “He hasn’t called me back yet. Should I call him again anyway?” I was even annoying myself.
And then one of them, a single mom herself, gave me advice I didn’t want to hear. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on July 25, 2008
Hundreds of you have found me through this website.
I don’t speak Russian but the website name “Russian-Fiancee” has me wondering what you’re here for. I know you’re definitely reading my eHarmony vs. Yahoo review.
But just in case you’re coming for another reason I just want to tell you a few things.
1. I am not a mail order bride
2. I do not want a husband yet (contrary to my random mood swings that say otherwise) [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on July 24, 2008
On a lighter note … this is hysterical and it’s all real.
This Saturday afternoon I let Benjamin entertain himself in front of the recording iMac again. This time I gave him a cowboy hat … but that’s just the beginning.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyYxdle9vwU]
Watch what happens when I show up with some clean clothes.
by mssinglemama on July 24, 2008
Benjamin will probably lose his second front tooth tomorrow.
I’ll have to watch them strap him down, gas him and then pull. All of this after they stick a needle into his gums. And I’ll have to do it alone…again. The first time they replaced his cracked tooth with a cap, the second time they pulled it all out. This time they’ll be pulling out the second front tooth that has been rotten for months now.
His little feet are the only things sticking out of the body wrap, which is put on after they strap his wrists. So I kiss his little toes while he screams and I try to stand up so he can see my face.
The nurses have to remind me not to look so scared. But I can’t help it. He’s screaming his brains out - scared as hell. He uses all of his muscles to try to break free from the straps. Horrible. Could be worse. I should not be complaining. It’s just that baby pain = mama pain.
Another thing on my mind…
I’m incredibly nervous about leaving for Denmark. Not for the trip itself - Thomas will be quite the host - I’m nervous about leaving Benjamin. His grandmother wants to plan her own vacation and isn’t sure if she’ll be around. Which means his father, who has never had Benjamin for more than 36 hours, may have him for seven days straight.
If he does, I may not be able to completely relax. Which means I may not be able to completely enjoy the Dane. [click to continue…]
