Remember what crush butterflies feel like?
Sparking all over the place, in the flesh or online - in your head, in your heart or in your throat. They’re
palpable and you feel as if you could reach down into your soul and touch them. But what happens when those sparks are one sided? Or when someone feels sparks for two people at the same time?
Lately I can’t seem to get this idea of sparks out of my head. What are they? And how can you tell if you’re both feeling them?
My case in point.
Last weekend Benjamin and I found a Brio train table, complete with the tracks and the trains at a garage sale. The price? $75.00. I had to buy it. But how would I move it? I looked at my tiny Ford Focus, my tiny and grumpy little man and then at the two nice guys at the sale. Bingo.
“I’ll take it if you can deliver it. I just live right around the corner.”
They were more than happy to help and during the moving process one of them was being particularly attentive. He had blond hair, big blue eyes, a fantastic smile and a bare left finger. Before they left he invited Benjamin and I to stop by anytime, “You know where I live!” He seemed interested… but I wasn’t.
Which led me to wonder, can sparks - true sparks - be one sided? And if they are, can a one sided spark spark another spark?
I was curious. So five days later Benjamin and I popped by his place on one of our afternoon walks. He showed us the house he had renovated solo, asked tons of questions about Benjamin and about being a single mom. I also found out that he’s a very successful architect. But, alas, no spark.
I left with his number in my hand and no desire to call him.
Two days later I met one of you - one of my readers! Julie is a single mom who has a breath-takingly beautiful 17-month-old daughter, Zoe. When we met the sparks were flying everywhere. We talked and talked and talked while the kids played. And then it hit me - Julie and the architect! They would be perfect …
I briefed her on the situation, told her I had no spark but that he might have one for me … but she, like me, is a big girl with a strong head on her shoulders and she completely understood, “I get it. It’s the spark thing. You never know.” So we set out to find out if the sparks would fly between the two of them.
When we showed up at his house for drinks the architect was immediately drawn to Julie. In fact, he was so zoned in on her that I felt like I had to make myself scarce. “You guys cool if I run and get take and bake?”
“Yes!” They both chimed.
For the rest of the night when I would try to talk he actually stopped me and said, “Wait, Julie, what were you saying?” So I just sat there and twiddled my thumbs careful not to interrupt. As soon as we left, Julie and I immediately started assesing the sparks.
“So, did you feel one?” I asked her.
“Yes! Definitely, but did he have one? I couldn’t tell.” She had a point - what if he was just being incredibly sweet and courteous, because he’s like that - maybe he’s just a nice guy. There’s one truth about sparks, you can’t see them.
“Well,” I said, “There’s only one way to find out. Ask him.”
So she did. Tonight Julie called the Architect and asked him out on a date. Yep. She did it. And I’m SO proud of her. His answer - he had a very, very busy weekend filled with mundane things he had to do but that Sunday might work out and that he’d call her this weekend to firm it up. So now we wait to see if the sparks were mutual.
And even if he never calls, which I highly doubt, at least there’s a solid spark between Julie and I - the friendship spark - the best one of them all.
Other posts you might like:
Will he call? On asking men out - flat out.
Single Mom Dating Tips, Part 1
Single mom dating tips, Part 2
[Photo Credit: Kate Winslet in Romance & Cigarrettes]
