During a powerful Father’s Day speech Barack Obama called out dead beat dads and heralded us single moms for all of our hard work. I love this man, I truly do.
Raised by a single mother, I expect Obama will be very passionate on single parent issues if elected. On Friday he announced he would co-sponsor to increase enforcement of child support payments and strengthen domestic violence prevention service.
Here are some highlights from his speech:
We need fathers to recognize their responsibility doesn’t just end at conception…what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child, any fool can have a child. That doesn’t make you a father, it’s the courage to raise a child that makes you a father.
And to all you mothers out there, you need help! We need to help all of those mothers out there who are raising their kids by themselves. The mothers who drop them off at school and go to work and pick them up in the afternoon and work another shift … protect the family and do all of the things that a parent is supposed to do. So many women in our community are doing this in a heroic fashion.
We are so proud of all of those single moms out there doing such incredible work. But they need support, they need another parent in the home. Their children need another parent in the home. That’s what keeps the foundation of our country strong… I know the toll being a single parent took on my mother, how she struggled sometimes to pay the bills. How she struggled to give us the things that other kids had…she struggled to play all of the roles that a parent is supposed to take.
And he also calls out married fathers who aren’t as active as they should be:
It’s a wonderful thing if you’re married and living with your children but don’t just sit in the house watching Sports Center all day… so many of our children are growing up in front of the television set and playing video games. Turn them off and read a book to your child!
Can you believe this? A politician praising single moms on Father’s Day. Feel like I’m hallucinating and am of course, ecstatic about it. He also mentioned extending maternity and paternity leave.
Child support laws vary from state to state … what are the laws like in your state? Do you feel you receive your fair share? If you could pass a law to help us out, what would it be?
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Great speech. I followed the link and read the whole thing. I ask you, is there anything to NOT like about this guy? It’s almost as though I had forgotten that politicians can actually have ideas! Now here comes a guy who not only has ideas, but has ideas I agree with. He addresses issues that I want to see addressed. Not to mention the fact that the man actually speaks in complete sentences and his style of rhetoric actually makes my heart beat faster and fills me with that distant forgotten feeling…..what was it called again? oh yeah, HOPE.
Wow, that made me downright teary this morning. Thanks for sharing this.
The wonderful state of Washington, said that because my childs father doesn’t have a legit (he works under the table, and they can’t prove it) job, he is only responsible for $25 a month, and then the state turns around and charges me $15 a month for healthcare coverage for my daughter, that is supposed to be the non-custodial parents responsibility…all in all $10 a month child support order…wow, whats the point? And the kicker…he is on food stamps! What is wrong here?
My idea, if a father or mother….doesn’t pay child support, then the child should get what social security that individual does have built up. Once upon a time, my childs father did have a legit job, and did bank some social security….why not use that to support the children?
Im SO glad that attention is being brought to this. There is some serious problems with the system and the way the ’stuff’ is implicated.
Thanks for posting. I am glad he said that now maybe all those dead beat fathers will realize what they have done. I am 13 and am growing up without a dad. It is hard on both me and my mother. I feel so left out when my freinds talk about their dads. On fathers day it is the hardest to deal with. Isn’t it suppose to be daddys angel. Well not everyone can have that and it sucks. It is hard to be with my mom so much and i have no one else to fall on.
Wow – how wonderful. I was an Obama supporter before, now I’m a fanatic!
I really do want to turn this single parent movement into a political movement, but I’ve no idea where to begin… Do you?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvXz2xaLNMQ, Barack Obama, “the Magic Negro”, fails to include the failure of our no good elected Black leaders http://africanamerica.org/groupee/forums/a/tpc/f/79160213/m/9131049962/p/1, and/or middleclass and their contribution to the destruction of law abiding Black families for illicit profit, and/or the destruction of Black males, http://africanamerica.org/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/64170254/m/231708101/p/1.
In addition without gainfully employment, Barack Obama would be in the same position as numerous Black men, who for lack of gainful employment may turn to other methods of making ends meet to provide the necessities of life. The success of the Black family and gainful employment opportunity go hand in hand.
too bad he didn’t call out the terrorists who gave him his start in politics (Ayers), or the terrorists who support his campaign (Hamas, PLO), or the terrorists who want to wipe Israel off the face of the earth – their words (Iran) with whom Obama wants to chat, or the terrorists who destroyed Lebanon who Obama’s team meets with regularly (Hizbollah), or the corrupt mortgage financier who gave Obama’s team special loan rates (Mozillo), or the racist, anti-AMerican, anti-Jew supporters that lead his campaign (Wright, Black Panthers, Nation of Islam), or himself for writing a book full of racist, anti-white remarks even though he is half white, or the fact he claims never to have been muslim but his brother claims he was indeed raised a muslim, or himself for accepting significant $$ from lobbyists even though he claims he wouldn’t do that…and the list goes on…where was he on mothers day? he wasn’t calling out any dead beat moms who give their kids up for adoption, who allow abuse to go on or abuse their own kids, or who fail to properly feed, educate, and care for their kids…
obama is a joke – he’s such a great father he stated this:
“Look, I got two daughters — 9 years old and 6 years old,” he said. “I am going to teach them first about values and morals, but if they make a mistake, I don’t want them punished with a baby.
talk about a dead beat dad…babies are punishment don’t ya know!!
and the solution to that punishment….abortion
Creeping … have you actually read his book? And if you wouldn’t mind – please give us the links backing up those outrageous claims.
Heather – I know it’s hard not to have a flat out crush on the man.
Michael – Barack points out in his speech that he was lucky to have been raised under good economic circumstances, and that his case is the exception.
*sniff* that was great. I’m a registered Republican but damn if he doesn’t make me feel encouraged. I’m relieved at least one candidate actually has something to say this year on anything. Just imagine if all politicians were actually fired up about our nation
OMG – You will understand when I say I sat and wept as I watched this.
Is there anything better than this?
This HOPE!
Real hope that this man will be our next president? This man who knows from his own experience what it is like to be a single parent and to be the child of a single parent (and even more, the child with an absent parent)?
I do not think he was speaking to one race or another, or even one sex (fathers yes, but more so absent parents all together). He was also not saying you need actual money to be a father. Your kids just need you in their lives. He was saying step up to the task because sadly many men concieve children and then walk away and in the majority of situations, this is done by the men by the fathers. He was trying to say single parents (usually moms but also sometimes dads) need the support of their government. And if you can find wrong in a presidential candidate speaking about that particular topic, you and I have nothing to discuss. Because you obviously have no clue what daily life is like for my children and I and you are not open to having your eyes open to learning what it is that my children and I are longing for. However, if you see that Barack Obama is on “our” side and will bring about change for all us single parents, and much needed changes for our children, changes to make this world happier and more productive for all of us. Then we can chat because we can both see this possibility of HOPE!
I swear I cry every time I hear him speak, and I’m 26! Aren’t old ladies the ones who cry when presidents speak? I guess I cried whenever Dubya spoke, but only because I was ashamed to be an American when he spoke. Its so incredible to go from being ashamed and disgusted to feeling inspired and absolutely high on what may happen in the future!
Dubya didn’t talk to me. I never knew who he was talking to (the Duke, maybe?). Obama TALKS TO YOU. That’s what makes him so invigorating.
I’ve heard a lot of people criticizing this speech, saying it unfairly targets black men and neglects white men. There are plenty of white dead beat dads too, thats for sure, but I don’t want to judge the speech, I didn’t hear it. And even so, yeah, its wonderful that someone takes the time to say something about dead beat dads, because by and large society looks at it as women’s problems and let the women who were “foolish” enough to get into our situation deal with it. As a single mom, I’m just happy to hear something is being said about us and our children, even if it did come across as kind of racist to some people.
I do not receive child support, I have chosen to keep the father of my child out of our life at all cost (not that I would have gotten anything out of him, because he doesn’t work and probably never will, his scam is to date women and hope they provide for him). My mother’s divorce, and therefore child support settlements, were handled in another state, so I know very little about child support in my own state. I do know that it seems to be better than average in Missouri, where my mother’s child support matters were settled. My mother got about 10% of my dad’s six figure salary for the two of us. Some of my friends here in Colorado got far less. I had a friend who’s mother received $200 a month for all three of her children. Thats practically worthless.
People,
Give me a break! I like Barack but let us take what he said with a pinch of salt please! Knocking on men is easy for him—he needs to softsoap women now to get votes. Men don’t generally care about this subject – they have heard the complaint before. What Barack do well is to come up with some creative solution for the problem. Most men are not irresponsible I am sure of it and women are not either!
The blindly punitive justice system that is gender biased is also part of the problem and many men I know are disgusted by it. Doling out checks to women should not be only responsibility of men as much women might favor that kind of approach. The arrangement is fair if men and women have equal engagment opportunity /say in all aspects of the Children’s life whether it be financial, emotional, educational etc.
I am a single father with 2 children and have singlehandedly taken care of them for 5+ years while the mother is mostly MIA and the children are doing very well. Just by seeing them happy and full of life I am motivated every day
You know, I think Barack is like a single mom at times in this campaign. Now that may sound insane, so I’ll try to explain. He is mixed, black and white. I personally identify because I too am “all mixed up.” In his campaign, he has to walk the line between two worlds, black and white. Although many blacks are enthused and excited for him, Obama can’t push, do or say anything that resonates as being too pro-black for fear of alienating white voters who may be suspicious that once elected he would pull a bait and switch on them. Liek it or not there is still latent racism and distrust that does play a factor in this election(and sexism, don’t worry ladies, I’m not blind to that). Now, how is this like a single mom? Well, being a single mom you meet a man who is charming, cute, and makes you smile. You go on a few dates, and things seem great. You acknowledge you are a single mom, but try not to let it define you in his eyes. You fear he will think you merely want to turn him into a dad and bolt.
Just as a man should see who you are, rather than what you are, so to must this country see who Obama is, and not let the color of his skin jade their thoughts, fears, or perceptions.
What about dead-beat moms? While I know that this is a small percentage of mothers, I think attention needs to be brought on those fathers who are doing what theya re supposed to be doing. My husnband pays child support (a significant amount of his monthly income) to a woman who has cut off all contact with him… she has moved across country, never allowed visitation while they were in the same state, change her phone number… all the while continuing to spend the child support that is sent to her monthly. When they were friendly, she told him that she would never take him to court for child support, but as soon as things didn’t go her way, she headed to court. While I agree that there are way more dads who fall into the deadbeat catagory, I would love for someone to call the people’s attention to those mothers who are just plain spiteful. It’s time to call out these mothers as well as those deadbeat fathers.
Much appreciation for those moms who hold it down with little or no child support and continue to let their child/children have a relationship with the father (especially my own mother). I know it’s not easy.
Definitely Rebekah – you’re absolutely right and thanks for pointing that out. My mother’s mom abandoned her family when the kids were teenagers … and I think moms who cut their ex out of their child’s life (without good cause, i.e. drugs, abuse, neglect) are definitely in the wrong. I would kill for my ex to be more involved.
I am a single father who has raised his 4 children on his own for the last 6 years. They are doing well and are well adjusted. I fought like hell to get custody of them and have spent my every last dime on attorney fees. I have an ex who does not call, visit or have anything to do with her kids. She is preoccupied with her alchohol and has no other time in her life but for this. I do not bad mouth her but instead tell the kids she is sick and when she was sober she was a wonderful mother.
She is behind in child support by $11,000 and I get the feeling that there is not a person who cares because it is the woman who is dead beat and not the father. I have been asked by case workers when I talk with them “So how far are you behind Kevin?” When I ask them to look at the records again, I get a “Um I see, you are the custodial parent.” Then no help! The lobby where I have waited to speak to these case workers only has women magazines in it, the women who are case workers have been rude, have lied to me, have assisted the ex in how to avoid paying child support, and so forth.
So please stop the sexist “Dead Beat Dad’s” and call them “Dead Beat Parents”. I am furious with the politiciens placating to the women’s groups and not addressing the issue of dead beat parents. So praise this man if you must but I do not! I see him pandering to get some of Hillary’s most ardent supporters (women) and once again taking a top down approach and not a bottom up approach in helping the single parent!
The problem I see is those that have direct contact with the custodial parents who don’t help one bit. I am sure they are over worked, over burdened and have become glorified collection agents. It is the one’s in the trenches that I wish would recognize my rights as a “Drop Dead Good Dad.”
Please be reminded that there are Dad’s out there who love their children and are dedicated to them and will do whatever it takes to love, cherish and propel their kids to acheive their goals and dreams.
yea its great to help thos mothers that get knocked up just to get money from the fathers…sad tho for the children its not there fault. Some dead beat dads love there children much.But tell me who here would pay a spouse that will not let you see a child even if you pay on a weekly bases.Some people only look in one picture of this.But some cases to are just as he said.But what if the child support money you send in does not go toward the child but a downtown bar?ask for help but noo the mother crys in court and they feel pitty then jack up your payments for more money to support her habbits.
It’s about time a man, let alone a politician speaks up for single moms. I really hope Obama can implement positve change in the laws to protect and support our children. I’m blogging about my most recent trials and tribulations trying to get child support from a dead-beat dad, and all that I have to go through (and pay) to get what is my child’s right to have is appalling.
I am a father of two living in Kentucky and faithfully paying over $1450 per month to a mother in Pennsylvania that continuously fills them with lies about their father. I’m lucky if I get to see them a month out of the year. They don’t even want to talk to me on the phone, making it impossible to have any kind of relationship with them. You women are sadly misinformed about the condition of American families. If you pay attention to the studies instead of learning from television drama you will find that equal numbers of men and women actually want families. You don’t need to trick a man into being a father. Most men are eager about fatherhood. Most women want to rush into motherhood so quickly that they feel the need to push a man into it. Then they wonder why they have a deadbeat dad on their hands. Some women would love nothing more than an anonymous check every month while they happily spend time with their children. Seeing this ridiculous column just makes me want to give up and go with the flow. Thanks ladies for your usual understanding.
Many dead beat dads are created by alienating exes (the moms) and are driven into the ground financially and emotionally during a divorce, in which the mom always has the upper hand in custody matters. Dads would be much more active if they were not alienated by moms and the maternal family in the event of divorce. The legal system in most states bolsters the moms ability to create a dead beat dad, then criticize him for being one. Most dads naturally love their kids just like moms. Talk to divroced dads with kids that mom took and moved to another city, then derrides tham as deadbeats. If you hear a mom complaining about her deadbeat ex, you can bet she is an alienator. Read Warren Farrell’s “Father and Child Reunion” and Alec Baldwin’s “A Promise to Ourselves.”
So glad to see this…
-A Strong Single Mom
For all of these men on here that are complaining and making these smart mouthed comments, i'm guessing that YOU are the dead beat dad that he is talking about. As for Kevin, I think that you can be excluded from the dead beat dad category.
All of our comments are good, and understanding, but what I think Barack Obama is saying deadbeats are the mother and fathers, he is asking that all need to stand up and take a stand even if you are female or male and take responsibility for these children, it is hard being a single mom(MAN OR FEMALE).The financial part is already hard and when you have to pay bills and cant make ends meet because u are working with one salary it is frustrating and very stressful. Alot of fathers (preferably my kids father), would rather lie to the court system, not work or work under the table, and not file taxes just so they dont have to pay a dime out of there pockets so they can maintain there lifestyles, that is not fair to the custodial parents and the children…..It is frustrating because no matter what that children still needs and wants no matter what the situation is money or no money. I have seem alot of men walk away and just wont do anything not even try to have a emotional relationship with the kids….. But then will turn around and get another child and take care of that child.
TELL ME WHO IS FRUSTRATED HERE!
our laws in our state i do believe is that when u go for child support and it all goes to court that the father gets rights to.No i don t believe we ve had our fair share.My son just turned four on mothers day.And it been over four years since his daddy has actually cared to see our son.Haven t got one thing not even a rattle and not even a ten dollar bill.My sons dad had his second child with a fifteen year old and married her.And at eighteen another with her.He takes care of those children because he is married to the mother of his children.But!my son was first born and even though we are not toghether he could at least make an effort to see our wonderful precious 4 year old boy.I think they should make a law that all fathers must pay a bit of something to all of their children once a week and be active in their lives.CHILDREN NEED THEIR FATHERS!
forgot to add or should have added.I am 23 years old and still living at home with mom and dad and working a one day a week job and yes i have problems with paying my own bills getting my boy what he needs because his deadbeat dad cant even give his own son anything and never ever has.I know it was going to happen anyways and ive tried everything to get our boys dad o come see him or buy him a little toy or something in general.I filled out court papers to go for support.But they ended up closing my case all because i forgot to fill out one line.I figured i shouldnt do it anyways because it give my sons dad rights to see him when he wants and get him when he wanted to.But he is not a fit dad and is not a good roll model for our son.But i agree with the single mothers everythings a struggle.
How about Parental Alienation?
which involves the sysemtic brainwashing, poisoning and manipulation of children with the sole purpose of destroying a loving and warm relationship they once shared with a parent (usually a ftaher). My story involves this form of child abuse and bias court system favouring the mother in the ecosytem for female support.
I'm 100% sure I was part of making my daughter but the court doesnt see it that way. I was in my daughters life for 8 years before she was legally kidnapped from me. Only person that gets hurt is my daughter.
What will Obama do with the parents that practice Parental Alienation? This is a growing epidemic that usually woman do against the fathers. I haven't seen or spoke to my daughter in two years. Yet, My ex-wife collects 1200.00 a month in child support. Where is the justice for men? When will Obama start to take control of the injustice family courts. I feel an overwhelming sense of alienation, having been pushed aside and devalued by feminist rhetoric. I'm outraged at our family valves and our family courts. I'm a GREAT DAD!!
I had a wonderful relationship, with my mother as a young girl. I often wonder many things about my father. I remember nothing about this man even thought I was five years old when my parents got a divorce. Then one day my mother decides that we should go and stay the summer with my father and visit my grandmother in Iowa. I told my mother I would not go and this was a mistake.
I know he had just had a new baby and his current wife/ women when he decides to come in from one of his other women’s houses. Plus she had two older kids around the same age as my sibling and I.
I had a felling, that he was not going to be the one caring for us once we drove south from Minnesota.
My heart had no feelings for this deadbeat. Like clock work he arrived all smiles and empty handed. Thinking was all was good after not sending any Bday, Xmas, or the low monthly child support of twenty five dollars in the early 1974 for three kids on still wearing diapers. The one memory I do have is who I felt, when he moved every Item in the house leaving only the kid’s cloth’s three suite case and toys’. He empties the house after the last fight between him and my mom. He took it all and left town and empted the bank account so my mother could not pay the mortgage or find an apartment.
Thankfully she looked stronger the she felt when she went to work with for two weeks wearing the same three pant and few shirts she packed when she left after the fight and the police said my father would not be arrested he just being ask to leave for a few day until things die down.
Know I kind of fell the same way whit my children father. He been gone for over nine years and he see the older boys that know him but the last child does not know him and he had the number and address and lived in the same city and has not made any attempt to visit or build an relationship with his children.
Look all you fathers out there who are doing what your supposed to be doing i commend you… but you should be just as mad as us even more because there are Dead beat dads out there and they are the ones that we are mad at why are you offended that we are mad at the people who gave some dads a bad name. I love the fact that Obama can commend single moms and as a single parent you should commend them too. I am a single mom of a two year old i have raised my child with no help for the past 2 years. The father didn’t even look for my child until she turned one.. despite him not paying i have let him see her.. he shows up every couple of months calls her maybe once a month but uses her to get to me all the time. He has harassed me , verbally and emotionally abused me and i have tried to handle it just for my daughter you wonder why some moms don’t let the fathers see there kids maybe its because they are scared they are sick of the fights, they are sick of not being supported or helped. Just because you have baby mama’s drama doesn’t mean you have the right to look down on all single moms. Take responsibility in your own actions. as we do with ours by raising these children alone every day!
Well, don’t hold your breath. My deadbeat ex husband is a senior intelligence officer at the NSA, with a front door pass to the White House, still owes 13 years of child support, got out of court ordered examinations by waving his security clearance and going “I don’t have to come to court” – and nobody made him either. Prosecutors could never nail him. I posted stuff all over the Internet, you can google his name, Steven Grimaud deadbeat, and until Obama strolls over to the NSA and asks “what is this deadbeat doing working for the Federal government” I’ll still won’t have any faith in the Obama administration to clean up the deadbeats.
I’m sorry. I just don’t see it. He, like all of the presidents before him have done nothing to protect the single mother. Nothing has changed in the system. Hardly ever does someone even talk about it. All I see is deadbeat dads being protected and moms going without as the rising costs of everything – no one better tell me the recession is over. They must be the ones ripping people like me off.
Sorry Obama, but what do you care? You want to fix the economy – GET US MOMS OUR BACK CHILD SUPPORT!! Then we can pay our bills.
I wrote to the White House for the last year, and again last month, and pointed out there is a deadbeat working right there at Fort Meade. So far, no reply. Nothing. What House says nothing. Obama is a jerk.
I am glad obama called out the deadbeat dads, but why not make them pay instead??? Enforce the law make them pay there support or throw them in jail I am tired of all the talk I want my child support
I feel ya Tanya. He gave a great speach but when are the kids gonna start seeing their money. I’m tired of having to struggle with no help from my son’s father, well I should say sperm donor. I have been in court every 3 months for the last dang near 4 years now just to recieve a 100.00 hear in there. If they would crack down on these deadbeats half the single moms wouldnt need help from the United States to help take care of their children. Something needs to be done the law needs to be changed. I went to court last week these men are allowed to lie and give every excuse in the world not to take care of their children and get away with it. I was told while I was at court theres no room in the jails for them so theres nothing they can do and to blame it on the legislation theres more men then women on there its their fault we cant do anything. Well hell ,then I say they need to build more jails these men are lying,cheating and doing whatever they can to get in females pants then when the baby come they just walk away to do it to someone else. It is not fair they are breaking the law and not being punished. And the children of america are suffering for it! To all the single mothers we need to ban together and make the law change this. Please feel free to email me at tiffaniew_mail@yahoo.com we got to change the law ladies!