Obama Calls Out Dead Beat Dads

by mssinglemama on June 16, 2008

During a powerful Father’s Day speech Barack Obama called out dead beat dads and heralded us single moms for all of our hard work. I love this man, I truly do.

Raised by a single mother, I expect Obama will be very passionate on single parent issues if elected. On Friday he announced he would co-sponsor to increase enforcement of child support payments and strengthen domestic violence prevention service.

Here are some highlights from his speech:

We need fathers to recognize their responsibility doesn’t just end at conception…what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child, any fool can have a child. That doesn’t make you a father, it’s the courage to raise a child that makes you a father.

And to all you mothers out there, you need help! We need to help all of those mothers out there who are raising their kids by themselves. The mothers who drop them off at school and go to work and pick them up in the afternoon and work another shift … protect the family and do all of the things that a parent is supposed to do. So many women in our community are doing this in a heroic fashion.

We are so proud of all of those single moms out there doing such incredible work. But they need support, they need another parent in the home. Their children need another parent in the home. That’s what keeps the foundation of our country strong… I know the toll being a single parent took on my mother, how she struggled sometimes to pay the bills. How she struggled to give us the things that other kids had…she struggled to play all of the roles that a parent is supposed to take.

And he also calls out married fathers who aren’t as active as they should be:

It’s a wonderful thing if you’re married and living with your children but don’t just sit in the house watching Sports Center all day… so many of our children are growing up in front of the television set and playing video games. Turn them off and read a book to your child!

Watch the video here.

Can you believe this? A politician praising single moms on Father’s Day. Feel like I’m hallucinating and am of course, ecstatic about it. He also mentioned extending maternity and paternity leave.

Child support laws vary from state to state … what are the laws like in your state? Do you feel you receive your fair share? If you could pass a law to help us out, what would it be?

{ 4 trackbacks }

He is the one. « The Queen Chimes In
August 27, 2008 at 8:45 pm
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August 28, 2008 at 5:38 pm
The Best of Ms. Single Mama
October 3, 2008 at 6:41 am
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June 30, 2013 at 4:15 pm

{ 54 comments… read them below or add one }

Jim Everson June 16, 2008 at 11:05 am

Great speech. I followed the link and read the whole thing. I ask you, is there anything to NOT like about this guy? It’s almost as though I had forgotten that politicians can actually have ideas! Now here comes a guy who not only has ideas, but has ideas I agree with. He addresses issues that I want to see addressed. Not to mention the fact that the man actually speaks in complete sentences and his style of rhetoric actually makes my heart beat faster and fills me with that distant forgotten feeling…..what was it called again? oh yeah, HOPE.

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syd June 16, 2008 at 12:42 pm

Wow, that made me downright teary this morning. Thanks for sharing this.

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twilightrose June 16, 2008 at 7:13 pm

The wonderful state of Washington, said that because my childs father doesn’t have a legit (he works under the table, and they can’t prove it) job, he is only responsible for $25 a month, and then the state turns around and charges me $15 a month for healthcare coverage for my daughter, that is supposed to be the non-custodial parents responsibility…all in all $10 a month child support order…wow, whats the point? And the kicker…he is on food stamps! What is wrong here?
My idea, if a father or mother….doesn’t pay child support, then the child should get what social security that individual does have built up. Once upon a time, my childs father did have a legit job, and did bank some social security….why not use that to support the children?
Im SO glad that attention is being brought to this. There is some serious problems with the system and the way the ‘stuff’ is implicated.

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gIRLY June 16, 2008 at 8:18 pm

Thanks for posting. I am glad he said that now maybe all those dead beat fathers will realize what they have done. I am 13 and am growing up without a dad. It is hard on both me and my mother. I feel so left out when my freinds talk about their dads. On fathers day it is the hardest to deal with. Isn’t it suppose to be daddys angel. Well not everyone can have that and it sucks. It is hard to be with my mom so much and i have no one else to fall on.

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heather mac June 17, 2008 at 12:18 am

Wow – how wonderful. I was an Obama supporter before, now I’m a fanatic!
I really do want to turn this single parent movement into a political movement, but I’ve no idea where to begin… Do you?

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Michael Lofton June 17, 2008 at 12:51 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvXz2xaLNMQ, Barack Obama, “the Magic Negro”, fails to include the failure of our no good elected Black leaders http://africanamerica.org/groupee/forums/a/tpc/f/79160213/m/9131049962/p/1, and/or middleclass and their contribution to the destruction of law abiding Black families for illicit profit, and/or the destruction of Black males, http://africanamerica.org/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/64170254/m/231708101/p/1.

In addition without gainfully employment, Barack Obama would be in the same position as numerous Black men, who for lack of gainful employment may turn to other methods of making ends meet to provide the necessities of life. The success of the Black family and gainful employment opportunity go hand in hand.

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creeping June 17, 2008 at 10:43 am

too bad he didn’t call out the terrorists who gave him his start in politics (Ayers), or the terrorists who support his campaign (Hamas, PLO), or the terrorists who want to wipe Israel off the face of the earth – their words (Iran) with whom Obama wants to chat, or the terrorists who destroyed Lebanon who Obama’s team meets with regularly (Hizbollah), or the corrupt mortgage financier who gave Obama’s team special loan rates (Mozillo), or the racist, anti-AMerican, anti-Jew supporters that lead his campaign (Wright, Black Panthers, Nation of Islam), or himself for writing a book full of racist, anti-white remarks even though he is half white, or the fact he claims never to have been muslim but his brother claims he was indeed raised a muslim, or himself for accepting significant $$ from lobbyists even though he claims he wouldn’t do that…and the list goes on…where was he on mothers day? he wasn’t calling out any dead beat moms who give their kids up for adoption, who allow abuse to go on or abuse their own kids, or who fail to properly feed, educate, and care for their kids…

obama is a joke – he’s such a great father he stated this:

“Look, I got two daughters — 9 years old and 6 years old,” he said. “I am going to teach them first about values and morals, but if they make a mistake, I don’t want them punished with a baby.

talk about a dead beat dad…babies are punishment don’t ya know!!

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creeping June 17, 2008 at 10:44 am

and the solution to that punishment….abortion

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mssinglemama June 17, 2008 at 10:49 am

Creeping … have you actually read his book? And if you wouldn’t mind – please give us the links backing up those outrageous claims.

Heather – I know it’s hard not to have a flat out crush on the man.

Michael – Barack points out in his speech that he was lucky to have been raised under good economic circumstances, and that his case is the exception.

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Leslie June 17, 2008 at 11:55 am

*sniff* that was great. I’m a registered Republican but damn if he doesn’t make me feel encouraged. I’m relieved at least one candidate actually has something to say this year on anything. Just imagine if all politicians were actually fired up about our nation 😛

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The Queen Chimes In June 17, 2008 at 1:42 pm

OMG – You will understand when I say I sat and wept as I watched this.
Is there anything better than this?
This HOPE!
Real hope that this man will be our next president? This man who knows from his own experience what it is like to be a single parent and to be the child of a single parent (and even more, the child with an absent parent)?
I do not think he was speaking to one race or another, or even one sex (fathers yes, but more so absent parents all together). He was also not saying you need actual money to be a father. Your kids just need you in their lives. He was saying step up to the task because sadly many men concieve children and then walk away and in the majority of situations, this is done by the men by the fathers. He was trying to say single parents (usually moms but also sometimes dads) need the support of their government. And if you can find wrong in a presidential candidate speaking about that particular topic, you and I have nothing to discuss. Because you obviously have no clue what daily life is like for my children and I and you are not open to having your eyes open to learning what it is that my children and I are longing for. However, if you see that Barack Obama is on “our” side and will bring about change for all us single parents, and much needed changes for our children, changes to make this world happier and more productive for all of us. Then we can chat because we can both see this possibility of HOPE!

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pisceshanna June 17, 2008 at 3:41 pm

I swear I cry every time I hear him speak, and I’m 26! Aren’t old ladies the ones who cry when presidents speak? I guess I cried whenever Dubya spoke, but only because I was ashamed to be an American when he spoke. Its so incredible to go from being ashamed and disgusted to feeling inspired and absolutely high on what may happen in the future!

Dubya didn’t talk to me. I never knew who he was talking to (the Duke, maybe?). Obama TALKS TO YOU. That’s what makes him so invigorating.

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jessimonster June 17, 2008 at 3:43 pm

I’ve heard a lot of people criticizing this speech, saying it unfairly targets black men and neglects white men. There are plenty of white dead beat dads too, thats for sure, but I don’t want to judge the speech, I didn’t hear it. And even so, yeah, its wonderful that someone takes the time to say something about dead beat dads, because by and large society looks at it as women’s problems and let the women who were “foolish” enough to get into our situation deal with it. As a single mom, I’m just happy to hear something is being said about us and our children, even if it did come across as kind of racist to some people.
I do not receive child support, I have chosen to keep the father of my child out of our life at all cost (not that I would have gotten anything out of him, because he doesn’t work and probably never will, his scam is to date women and hope they provide for him). My mother’s divorce, and therefore child support settlements, were handled in another state, so I know very little about child support in my own state. I do know that it seems to be better than average in Missouri, where my mother’s child support matters were settled. My mother got about 10% of my dad’s six figure salary for the two of us. Some of my friends here in Colorado got far less. I had a friend who’s mother received $200 a month for all three of her children. Thats practically worthless.

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tigertongue June 20, 2008 at 4:31 pm

People,

Give me a break! I like Barack but let us take what he said with a pinch of salt please! Knocking on men is easy for him—he needs to softsoap women now to get votes. Men don’t generally care about this subject – they have heard the complaint before. What Barack do well is to come up with some creative solution for the problem. Most men are not irresponsible I am sure of it and women are not either!

The blindly punitive justice system that is gender biased is also part of the problem and many men I know are disgusted by it. Doling out checks to women should not be only responsibility of men as much women might favor that kind of approach. The arrangement is fair if men and women have equal engagment opportunity /say in all aspects of the Children’s life whether it be financial, emotional, educational etc.

I am a single father with 2 children and have singlehandedly taken care of them for 5+ years while the mother is mostly MIA and the children are doing very well. Just by seeing them happy and full of life I am motivated every day

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jonb June 26, 2008 at 12:56 pm

You know, I think Barack is like a single mom at times in this campaign. Now that may sound insane, so I’ll try to explain. He is mixed, black and white. I personally identify because I too am “all mixed up.” In his campaign, he has to walk the line between two worlds, black and white. Although many blacks are enthused and excited for him, Obama can’t push, do or say anything that resonates as being too pro-black for fear of alienating white voters who may be suspicious that once elected he would pull a bait and switch on them. Liek it or not there is still latent racism and distrust that does play a factor in this election(and sexism, don’t worry ladies, I’m not blind to that). Now, how is this like a single mom? Well, being a single mom you meet a man who is charming, cute, and makes you smile. You go on a few dates, and things seem great. You acknowledge you are a single mom, but try not to let it define you in his eyes. You fear he will think you merely want to turn him into a dad and bolt.

Just as a man should see who you are, rather than what you are, so to must this country see who Obama is, and not let the color of his skin jade their thoughts, fears, or perceptions.

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Rebekah June 30, 2008 at 5:06 pm

What about dead-beat moms? While I know that this is a small percentage of mothers, I think attention needs to be brought on those fathers who are doing what theya re supposed to be doing. My husnband pays child support (a significant amount of his monthly income) to a woman who has cut off all contact with him… she has moved across country, never allowed visitation while they were in the same state, change her phone number… all the while continuing to spend the child support that is sent to her monthly. When they were friendly, she told him that she would never take him to court for child support, but as soon as things didn’t go her way, she headed to court. While I agree that there are way more dads who fall into the deadbeat catagory, I would love for someone to call the people’s attention to those mothers who are just plain spiteful. It’s time to call out these mothers as well as those deadbeat fathers.

Much appreciation for those moms who hold it down with little or no child support and continue to let their child/children have a relationship with the father (especially my own mother). I know it’s not easy.

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mssinglemama June 30, 2008 at 7:45 pm

Definitely Rebekah – you’re absolutely right and thanks for pointing that out. My mother’s mom abandoned her family when the kids were teenagers … and I think moms who cut their ex out of their child’s life (without good cause, i.e. drugs, abuse, neglect) are definitely in the wrong. I would kill for my ex to be more involved.

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Kevin July 29, 2008 at 2:28 pm

I am a single father who has raised his 4 children on his own for the last 6 years. They are doing well and are well adjusted. I fought like hell to get custody of them and have spent my every last dime on attorney fees. I have an ex who does not call, visit or have anything to do with her kids. She is preoccupied with her alchohol and has no other time in her life but for this. I do not bad mouth her but instead tell the kids she is sick and when she was sober she was a wonderful mother.

She is behind in child support by $11,000 and I get the feeling that there is not a person who cares because it is the woman who is dead beat and not the father. I have been asked by case workers when I talk with them “So how far are you behind Kevin?” When I ask them to look at the records again, I get a “Um I see, you are the custodial parent.” Then no help! The lobby where I have waited to speak to these case workers only has women magazines in it, the women who are case workers have been rude, have lied to me, have assisted the ex in how to avoid paying child support, and so forth.

So please stop the sexist “Dead Beat Dad’s” and call them “Dead Beat Parents”. I am furious with the politiciens placating to the women’s groups and not addressing the issue of dead beat parents. So praise this man if you must but I do not! I see him pandering to get some of Hillary’s most ardent supporters (women) and once again taking a top down approach and not a bottom up approach in helping the single parent!

The problem I see is those that have direct contact with the custodial parents who don’t help one bit. I am sure they are over worked, over burdened and have become glorified collection agents. It is the one’s in the trenches that I wish would recognize my rights as a “Drop Dead Good Dad.”

Please be reminded that there are Dad’s out there who love their children and are dedicated to them and will do whatever it takes to love, cherish and propel their kids to acheive their goals and dreams.

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misunderstood October 3, 2008 at 3:27 am

yea its great to help thos mothers that get knocked up just to get money from the fathers…sad tho for the children its not there fault. Some dead beat dads love there children much.But tell me who here would pay a spouse that will not let you see a child even if you pay on a weekly bases.Some people only look in one picture of this.But some cases to are just as he said.But what if the child support money you send in does not go toward the child but a downtown bar?ask for help but noo the mother crys in court and they feel pitty then jack up your payments for more money to support her habbits.

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MindyMom November 14, 2008 at 5:17 pm

It’s about time a man, let alone a politician speaks up for single moms. I really hope Obama can implement positve change in the laws to protect and support our children. I’m blogging about my most recent trials and tribulations trying to get child support from a dead-beat dad, and all that I have to go through (and pay) to get what is my child’s right to have is appalling.

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Dana November 17, 2008 at 7:37 am

I am a father of two living in Kentucky and faithfully paying over $1450 per month to a mother in Pennsylvania that continuously fills them with lies about their father. I’m lucky if I get to see them a month out of the year. They don’t even want to talk to me on the phone, making it impossible to have any kind of relationship with them. You women are sadly misinformed about the condition of American families. If you pay attention to the studies instead of learning from television drama you will find that equal numbers of men and women actually want families. You don’t need to trick a man into being a father. Most men are eager about fatherhood. Most women want to rush into motherhood so quickly that they feel the need to push a man into it. Then they wonder why they have a deadbeat dad on their hands. Some women would love nothing more than an anonymous check every month while they happily spend time with their children. Seeing this ridiculous column just makes me want to give up and go with the flow. Thanks ladies for your usual understanding.

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Brian December 4, 2008 at 3:07 am

Many dead beat dads are created by alienating exes (the moms) and are driven into the ground financially and emotionally during a divorce, in which the mom always has the upper hand in custody matters. Dads would be much more active if they were not alienated by moms and the maternal family in the event of divorce. The legal system in most states bolsters the moms ability to create a dead beat dad, then criticize him for being one. Most dads naturally love their kids just like moms. Talk to divroced dads with kids that mom took and moved to another city, then derrides tham as deadbeats. If you hear a mom complaining about her deadbeat ex, you can bet she is an alienator. Read Warren Farrell’s “Father and Child Reunion” and Alec Baldwin’s “A Promise to Ourselves.”

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Kate January 20, 2009 at 9:58 am

So glad to see this… 🙂

-A Strong Single Mom

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Ms. Lady March 12, 2009 at 7:04 am

For all of these men on here that are complaining and making these smart mouthed comments, i'm guessing that YOU are the dead beat dad that he is talking about. As for Kevin, I think that you can be excluded from the dead beat dad category.

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Monica Gray April 9, 2009 at 1:24 am

All of our comments are good, and understanding, but what I think Barack Obama is saying deadbeats are the mother and fathers, he is asking that all need to stand up and take a stand even if you are female or male and take responsibility for these children, it is hard being a single mom(MAN OR FEMALE).The financial part is already hard and when you have to pay bills and cant make ends meet because u are working with one salary it is frustrating and very stressful. Alot of fathers (preferably my kids father), would rather lie to the court system, not work or work under the table, and not file taxes just so they dont have to pay a dime out of there pockets so they can maintain there lifestyles, that is not fair to the custodial parents and the children…..It is frustrating because no matter what that children still needs and wants no matter what the situation is money or no money. I have seem alot of men walk away and just wont do anything not even try to have a emotional relationship with the kids….. But then will turn around and get another child and take care of that child.
TELL ME WHO IS FRUSTRATED HERE!

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jenny May 22, 2009 at 12:50 pm

our laws in our state i do believe is that when u go for child support and it all goes to court that the father gets rights to.No i don t believe we ve had our fair share.My son just turned four on mothers day.And it been over four years since his daddy has actually cared to see our son.Haven t got one thing not even a rattle and not even a ten dollar bill.My sons dad had his second child with a fifteen year old and married her.And at eighteen another with her.He takes care of those children because he is married to the mother of his children.But!my son was first born and even though we are not toghether he could at least make an effort to see our wonderful precious 4 year old boy.I think they should make a law that all fathers must pay a bit of something to all of their children once a week and be active in their lives.CHILDREN NEED THEIR FATHERS!

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jenny May 22, 2009 at 12:56 pm

forgot to add or should have added.I am 23 years old and still living at home with mom and dad and working a one day a week job and yes i have problems with paying my own bills getting my boy what he needs because his deadbeat dad cant even give his own son anything and never ever has.I know it was going to happen anyways and ive tried everything to get our boys dad o come see him or buy him a little toy or something in general.I filled out court papers to go for support.But they ended up closing my case all because i forgot to fill out one line.I figured i shouldnt do it anyways because it give my sons dad rights to see him when he wants and get him when he wanted to.But he is not a fit dad and is not a good roll model for our son.But i agree with the single mothers everythings a struggle.

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Csnider June 25, 2009 at 1:24 am

How about Parental Alienation?

which involves the sysemtic brainwashing, poisoning and manipulation of children with the sole purpose of destroying a loving and warm relationship they once shared with a parent (usually a ftaher). My story involves this form of child abuse and bias court system favouring the mother in the ecosytem for female support.
I'm 100% sure I was part of making my daughter but the court doesnt see it that way. I was in my daughters life for 8 years before she was legally kidnapped from me. Only person that gets hurt is my daughter.
What will Obama do with the parents that practice Parental Alienation? This is a growing epidemic that usually woman do against the fathers. I haven't seen or spoke to my daughter in two years. Yet, My ex-wife collects 1200.00 a month in child support. Where is the justice for men? When will Obama start to take control of the injustice family courts. I feel an overwhelming sense of alienation, having been pushed aside and devalued by feminist rhetoric. I'm outraged at our family valves and our family courts. I'm a GREAT DAD!!

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crystal October 3, 2009 at 12:13 am

I had a wonderful relationship, with my mother as a young girl. I often wonder many things about my father. I remember nothing about this man even thought I was five years old when my parents got a divorce. Then one day my mother decides that we should go and stay the summer with my father and visit my grandmother in Iowa. I told my mother I would not go and this was a mistake.
I know he had just had a new baby and his current wife/ women when he decides to come in from one of his other women’s houses. Plus she had two older kids around the same age as my sibling and I.
I had a felling, that he was not going to be the one caring for us once we drove south from Minnesota.
My heart had no feelings for this deadbeat. Like clock work he arrived all smiles and empty handed. Thinking was all was good after not sending any Bday, Xmas, or the low monthly child support of twenty five dollars in the early 1974 for three kids on still wearing diapers. The one memory I do have is who I felt, when he moved every Item in the house leaving only the kid’s cloth’s three suite case and toys’. He empties the house after the last fight between him and my mom. He took it all and left town and empted the bank account so my mother could not pay the mortgage or find an apartment.
Thankfully she looked stronger the she felt when she went to work with for two weeks wearing the same three pant and few shirts she packed when she left after the fight and the police said my father would not be arrested he just being ask to leave for a few day until things die down.
Know I kind of fell the same way whit my children father. He been gone for over nine years and he see the older boys that know him but the last child does not know him and he had the number and address and lived in the same city and has not made any attempt to visit or build an relationship with his children.

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sarah October 13, 2009 at 7:53 pm

Look all you fathers out there who are doing what your supposed to be doing i commend you… but you should be just as mad as us even more because there are Dead beat dads out there and they are the ones that we are mad at why are you offended that we are mad at the people who gave some dads a bad name. I love the fact that Obama can commend single moms and as a single parent you should commend them too. I am a single mom of a two year old i have raised my child with no help for the past 2 years. The father didn’t even look for my child until she turned one.. despite him not paying i have let him see her.. he shows up every couple of months calls her maybe once a month but uses her to get to me all the time. He has harassed me , verbally and emotionally abused me and i have tried to handle it just for my daughter you wonder why some moms don’t let the fathers see there kids maybe its because they are scared they are sick of the fights, they are sick of not being supported or helped. Just because you have baby mama’s drama doesn’t mean you have the right to look down on all single moms. Take responsibility in your own actions. as we do with ours by raising these children alone every day!

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shari hodges November 2, 2009 at 3:51 pm

Well, don’t hold your breath. My deadbeat ex husband is a senior intelligence officer at the NSA, with a front door pass to the White House, still owes 13 years of child support, got out of court ordered examinations by waving his security clearance and going “I don’t have to come to court” – and nobody made him either. Prosecutors could never nail him. I posted stuff all over the Internet, you can google his name, Steven Grimaud deadbeat, and until Obama strolls over to the NSA and asks “what is this deadbeat doing working for the Federal government” I’ll still won’t have any faith in the Obama administration to clean up the deadbeats.

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Ginger November 3, 2009 at 2:06 pm

I’m sorry. I just don’t see it. He, like all of the presidents before him have done nothing to protect the single mother. Nothing has changed in the system. Hardly ever does someone even talk about it. All I see is deadbeat dads being protected and moms going without as the rising costs of everything – no one better tell me the recession is over. They must be the ones ripping people like me off.

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Ginger November 3, 2009 at 2:11 pm

Sorry Obama, but what do you care? You want to fix the economy – GET US MOMS OUR BACK CHILD SUPPORT!! Then we can pay our bills.

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shari hodges December 12, 2009 at 8:21 pm

I wrote to the White House for the last year, and again last month, and pointed out there is a deadbeat working right there at Fort Meade. So far, no reply. Nothing. What House says nothing. Obama is a jerk.

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BECKY November 15, 2010 at 10:04 pm

MY EX OWES TWENTY GRAND AND DOES 2 TIMES IN JAIL . THE COMISSIONER ORDERED HIM TO TURN IN APPLICATIONS FOR JOBS AND HE FAILED AND HAS 15 COUNTS AND HAS ONLY MADE ABOUT 600.00 IN CHILDSUPPORT ONLY CAUSE OF HIS JAIL TIME AND STILL OWES TWENTY GRAND!!!THEY SLAP HANDS AND LET THESE DADS WALK BUT WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS?? WE DO OUR BEST FOR OUR KIDS AND THEY JUST WALK AND THESE KIDS DIDNT ASK FOR THIS?? AND THESE DADS GET EXCUSES??

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Troy February 3, 2015 at 10:40 am

He’s old enough for a mall polrgyaund. Give him 30 minutes there, and then maybe a store run (toddler in shopping cart = happy, occupied toddler if you avoid the temptation of the toy aisle and gave him a ziploc full of goldfish and a juice box), and then he’ll be good for a nap. Then you’ve got a solid hour or two of internet or gaming time!Plus, if he’s got a high chair and takes a million years to eat, I’m sure he’d love to watch some sports with you over the supper hour while you eat a sub or more likely drive-thru because taking the toddler out of the car just to go get a sub sucks.Play your cards right, and you can have a few hours of time to do your own thing even with a toddler at your hip, then if he goes to bed early (bath helps), that’s a bonus. You just have to hope he doesn’t wake up too early.

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tanya brown November 10, 2009 at 6:41 pm

I am glad obama called out the deadbeat dads, but why not make them pay instead??? Enforce the law make them pay there support or throw them in jail I am tired of all the talk I want my child support

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Tiffanie December 2, 2009 at 8:13 pm

I feel ya Tanya. He gave a great speach but when are the kids gonna start seeing their money. I’m tired of having to struggle with no help from my son’s father, well I should say sperm donor. I have been in court every 3 months for the last dang near 4 years now just to recieve a 100.00 hear in there. If they would crack down on these deadbeats half the single moms wouldnt need help from the United States to help take care of their children. Something needs to be done the law needs to be changed. I went to court last week these men are allowed to lie and give every excuse in the world not to take care of their children and get away with it. I was told while I was at court theres no room in the jails for them so theres nothing they can do and to blame it on the legislation theres more men then women on there its their fault we cant do anything. Well hell ,then I say they need to build more jails these men are lying,cheating and doing whatever they can to get in females pants then when the baby come they just walk away to do it to someone else. It is not fair they are breaking the law and not being punished. And the children of america are suffering for it! To all the single mothers we need to ban together and make the law change this. Please feel free to email me at tiffaniew_mail@yahoo.com we got to change the law ladies!

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shari April 25, 2010 at 12:06 am

No news here. Big talker over at the White House, the Deadbeat is still walking all over Washington DC working for the Federal Government.

I have news tho. I am preparing a Federal lawsuit since the Feds don’t want to pick up one of their own. While I was researching the case, I found out that Pres. Clinton signed a presidential order, that all Federal employees have to participate in a deadbeat database, so they can get a headcount. The FBI and the NSA requested an exemption for their employees. I wonder why. My ex works for the NSA.

I also found out that the NSA destroyed all my existing child support records, national security. We’ll see about that over in Federal court.

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AJ June 23, 2010 at 12:11 pm

UNBELIEVABLE SOMEONE OUT THERE FINALLY SEES THT SINGLE MOMS OR EVEN MOMS THT HAVE BEEN REMARRIED ACTUALLY NEED HELP FROM SOMEONE TO ACTUALLY COLLECT THEIR CHILD SUPPORT THT IS OWED TO THEM I HAVE ONE FATHER OF MY CHILDREN THT IS IN ARREARS OF 49,000 DOLLARS AND THE OTHER FATHER IS IN AREARS OF 5,000 THE ONE THT IS IN AREARS OF 5,000 WAS IN AREARS TO ME BEFORE FOR ALMOST 4,000 AND I DROPPED CAUSE I WAS IN FEAR OF MY LIFE WITH HIM CAUSE I KNW WHAT HE IS CAPABLE OF. KNW THT I HAVE MOVED 1,500 MILES FROM MY HOME TOWN IM NOT BACKING DWN TO HIM AND WILL NOT DROP THE 5,000 HE OWES ME IN PASS DUES. HIM AND HIS NEW WIFE THNK HE DOESNT HAVE TO PAY ME WELL HE DOES I TOLD HER WHAT WOULD U DO IF U WERE IN MY PLACE SHE SAID SHE WOULD NEVER BE IN MY PLACE HE CARES FOR ME HE HATED YOU I WAS LIKE WOW!! U SURE ARE LIVING IN LALA LAND SWEETI. KNW THIS IS A MAN THT HAS 2 CHILDREN WITH ME 2 CHILDREN THT LIVE IN GA I DAUGHTER THT LIVES IN FL AND 2 MORE CHILDREN WITH THE WOMEN HE REMARRIED OH AND LETS NOT FORGET THE SAILS MENS DAUGHTER WHERE HE USE TO WORK THT HAS A LIL GRL WITH HIM AS WELL. HE DOESNT TAKE CARE OF ANY OF THESE CHILDREN AND HASNT FOR QUIT SOME TIME EXCEPT THE 2 THT HE LIVES WITH. NOW IF U ASK ME NOT ONLY PRESIDENT IS GETTING A BILL PASSED TO HELP OUT US MOTHERS THT ARE SINGLE AND OR REMARRIED BUT HE MIGHT WANT TO THNK ABOUT PASSING A BILL ON MEN THT THNK THEY CAN JUST GO OUT AND HAVE ALL THESE BABYS AND NOT TAKE CARE OF ANY OF THEM. KNW THTS 8 CHILDREN TOTAL THT HE HAS AND DOESNT SUPPORT OR HASNT SUPPRTED ANY OF THEM.

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AJ June 23, 2010 at 12:15 pm

THE PRESIDENT SHLD PASS A BILL MAKING THEM GET A VASECTOMY…AFTER U HVE SOME MANY CHILDREN THT U DNT PROVIDE FOR AND ARE NOT IN THERE LIVES U SHOULD HAVE TO HAVE IT DONE IT SHOULD BE MANDATORY.AND THT SHOULD GO FOR SOME WOMEN OUT THERE TO THT DNT TAKE CARE OF THERE CHILDREN.

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BECKY November 15, 2010 at 10:00 pm

I THINK THAT THEIR SHOULD BE A LAW PASSED THAT THE FATHERS WHO DONT PAY CHILD SUPPORT SHOULD HAVE A STATE ORDERED VASECTOMY FOR OWEING SO MUCH IN CHILD SUPPORT!!! IT WOULD SAVE OUR ECONOMY AND THE WELFARE BUDGET WOULD BE MORE MAINTAINED AND THE COURT COST FOR EVERY TIME THEY HAVE TO APPEAR IN A STATE COURT ROOM WOULD BE LOWER AND THE JAILS WOULD BE LESS CROWDED!! THESE FATHERS REPRODUCE CHILDEREN FROM HOW MANY DIFFERENT MOTHERS?? WHEN THEY CANT EVEN TAKE CARE OF THE ONES THEY HAVE AND DONT TAKE CARE OF FINANCIALLY OR PHYSICALLY OR MENTALLY!!! REALLY?? WHAT ABOUT THESE KIDS AND MOTHERS WHO SUFFER?? THE ECONOMY NEEDS SOME SORT OF RESOLUTION!!! THESE DADS LEAVE THEIR CHILDEREN IN THE HANDS OF MOM AND FOR THE STATES TO TAKE CARE OF THEM!!!!

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Bari February 3, 2015 at 2:28 am

This whole movement to suelaxize our kids is straight from the Pit. Sexuality is a gift to be used/indulged in with great care, with intentionality, ideally with one person whom you love for life. The reason is obvious; just look around and see the havoc that casual sex has caused in our society, from fatherless children who are hugely at risk on every scale to epidemic numbers of people suffering from sexually transmitted diseases, most of which are viral and, therefore, can’t be cured only managed for the rest of their lives. There’s no such thing as “safe sex” (or “safer sex,” for that matter) unless it’s with an uninfected partner to whom you commit yourself for life. But, that’s called marriage, encouraged by the Church, so that’s not on according to the new dispensation.Follow the money; there’s lots to be made from the misery of those who’ve been lured into sexual activity at an early age. What really sickens me is the adults who, rather than protect vulnerable young people, prey on their vulnerability and natural curiosity. It’s diabolical.

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BECKY November 15, 2010 at 10:10 pm

BUT TOO ALL THE DADS AND STEP FATHERS THAT STEP UP !!! YOU ARE TRULY A HERO TO MOTHERS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY YOUR “KIDS!”

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JLYNN November 29, 2010 at 2:11 pm

I too am a parent of a child whose “SPERM DONOR” has gotten away of not paying or paying very little child support for 20 years. The only time I received child support money is when they took his tax returns or when the employeer actually garnished his pay. But he has been able to have 2 more children with his girlfriend. My child support is over $15,000 in arrears. I just recently got a letter from the child support enforcement agency stating that they haven’t been able to find him in 3 years so they are putting it on the back burner. Where is the justice for my child? Child support goes directly to my childs account and now that she’s in college she really could use the money. Again where is the JUSTICE for children of BEADBEATS!!

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Devoted Mother August 18, 2011 at 4:32 am

My son’s father stopped sending me ANY money with which to raise our son one year ago, despite being a wealthy investment banker with RBS in London. I have spoken with his mother time and time again about the serious harm her son has done in my little boy’s life, and, in a great irony, my son’s Russian grandmother frequently speaks about her admiration of Pres. Obama (though this has absolutely no relevance to the reason for my calls to her!). The Pogudin family understands VERY clearly that their son does not send me ANY money for their grandson, that he has not visited their grandson in FOUR years and has now evolved into a unkind stranger in my son’s eyes. This is a man who carried out a farce of a lawsuit (has hired more lawyers than anyone I have ever met in my life) asking for visitation (was never, ever denied visitation), then, after turning my and my little boy’s life into a circus with his hostile and long-term litigation, NEVER ONCE visited my son in the years since wrapping up his litigation. And though I never asked for a penny in child support from him, HE (not I) filed a lawsuit to pay a mere $1K a month for his son, filling our an expense form which stated that his personal expenses amount to $9800 a month for restaurants, travel, grooming, clothing, rent, etc.

Well, needless to say, my son is not living the lavish lifestyle my ex gives himself, particularly since he stopped sending me ANY money for his child without a word to me one year ago. Perhaps all of his money is going to “Give Life,” the charitable organization he very publicly supports, climbing a mountain to raise funds for sick children in Russia when he doesn’t give ONE PENNY for his son’s care, never visited his son when he was sick and hospitalized. But anyone can read all about his admirable charity work for children in the many articles written about him and published online, with the many photos he posed for smiling and not at all looking like a man who hasn’t laid eyes on his son in 4 years! Charity begins at home. Don’t publicly feign concern for other men’s children when you so grossly neglect your own! It makes a mockery of what you have put your little boy through, a child who is now a complete and total stranger to you as you spend your time and money taking holidays to Italy and Paris and climbing mountains in the Arctic. What a dad!

Though his family shows ABSOLUTELY NO CONCERN for where my son might be getting his food, shelter, clothing, medical care (but not one member of the family has ever met my son despite countless invitations which will no longer be extended), my son’s Russian grandmother does seem to share my admiration for Barack Obama. I see our president as an excellent role model for my son. My son will always know he can accomplish anything he chooses in life, just as Barack Obama was surely taught by his single mother, because his sense of security and confidence will not be undermined by the narcissistic choices of a man who should have been there for him. My son will always know he is unconditionally loved and that his father’s actions have NOTHING to do with him, but are a reflection of his’s character alone.

My son may not be wearing designer clothing and may not eat at overpriced restaurants. He may not be living the life of a banker’s son. But my son has all the love in his life that he could ever need and he knows that his mother will always and forever be there for him, will never abandon him no matter what. No amount of money can buy the security that this brings and my ex can keep stockpiling his RBS income because my little boy will always be just fine without one cent from him.

Barack Obama’s Father’s Day speech is a beautiful one, but when he says, “[t]heir children need another parent in the home,” I have to disagree that this is always the case. A person can’t be made to feel love or made to care or made to bond with a child. And when that person is a parent and that parent doesn’t care about his or her child, that child KNOWS it. It is better for such a parent NOT to be in the home. Children need security and a sense of peace and unconditional life in order to thrive. Sometimes the best thing for a child is NOT to have another parent in the home, especially when that parent is abusive or neglectful. If I could have a man life Barack Obama be a father to my son, it might be a different story. But not all men love their kids like Barack Obama loves his. Still, those children who don’t have such a father in their lives should look to Barack Obama as a role model, no matter one’s political views. He may have had a father who walked out of his life, but he went on to achieve quite notable academic and career success, and, most importantly, he went on to create a beautiful family, making sure his daughters know their dad loves them.

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Todd Wilson September 3, 2011 at 6:43 pm

There is no doubt there is the problem with dead beat dads but I and many other fathers in this land are not dead beat dads but are denied our visitation rights by Malicious Moms.

It is unfortunate that all we hear about is the dead beat dads because the situation I am in is more detrimental then a dead beat dad, in my opinion. The kids are put in the middle of this power play and used as pawns. The mother is allowed to continue this behavior, denying the kids the opportunity to see their father and the kids have to witness all of the negative behavior that goes with it.

The father’s that want to be in their children’s lives and pay child support get no support from the judicial system or our society as a whole. They have to spend thousands of dollars, as I have, and get nothing for it. It is ridiculous and I hope and pray that as a nation we wake up, get our heads out of the sand and start to demand some justice for the fathers that want to be fathers.

We can certainly create a movement and a lot of high-fiving against the dead beat dads, can we do something positive and give the good fathers a hand and help them carry on with their desired roll in their kids lives.

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Scott November 1, 2011 at 2:55 pm

I agree whole heartily, we need to make the cruel mothers using the children as pawns to suck every diime out of the father and then turn around and deny him the right to see his children – these mothers need to face judment!!!

The system is so old and out dated, I know people who pay child support and one in particular pays double the amount for one child as I get for my 2 boys – now explain to me that one? Oh yeah right my ex is a woman, kk gotcha.

I know what your going through, well on the other end of the spectrum anyhow. I never deny my ex the right to see our boys, I have given her chance after chance to be a mom – spend time with the boys..but she doesn’t She doesn’t buy them clothes, shoes or any school suppplies – heck she never shows up for teachers conference.

Women like this have been alllowed to get away with this behavior and it’s about d_mn time they pay the piper!!!!

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Devoted Mother November 24, 2011 at 11:18 pm

I wholeheartedly agree that ANY good parent, father or mother, should have support to be involved in a child’s life, but, Todd, I would stress that the court system may not be the best place to seek a resolution. As you note, in your case, litigation simply does not seem to have delivered much assistance. Furthermore, all too often, the court system demonstrates a disregard for the emotional needs, the mental health of children who have already been put through too much just by virtue of being the subject of a court case. There are judges who make decisions about the well-being of children who simply do not care about what is best for them and should never be in the position to make such decisions in the first place. (To cite one quite disturbing example, you might be aware of the recent matter in TX with the family law judge, William Adams, who beat his disabled teenaged daughter in what was surely a criminal attack. As the 8-minute video of the violence reveals, this judge should never have been in the position to make decisions about the welfare of ANY child, including his own! Thankfully, it appears his days are numbered.)

I know in my case, all of the pleading for my ex to show some regard for our son’s well-being, his happiness, his sense of security in life, has been in vain. My first-hand experience made clear that if you are dealing with a cruel person, mother or father, your best attempts to help that parent see that he or she must consider the needs of the child may not yield success. My son’s father is a Russian citizen and a wealthy investment banker with RBS in London. He frequently taunted me with threats to take my son to Russia, laughing as he told me I would never again see my son. The threat nearly seemed to become a reality for me when he refused to reveal my son’s whereabouts over the course of two days during the one and only time my son was ever left in his care. (Fortunately, one call to Scotland Yard resulted in a speedy resolution as my ex was persuaded by City of London police who arrived at his workplace requesting to be brought to my son’s location immediately.) Quite a disturbing example of a child being “put in the middle of [a] power play” and used as a “pawn” – at the very heart of what motivates the abuser who seeks to wield power over his or her ex using parental rights, resulting in deep trauma for the innocent child who should be shielded from such abuse.

If your ex is NOT one of those abusive types, and I hope this is the case, perhaps through family counseling she can be helped to see that no matter her feelings about your divorce, you love your children, want to be there for them, and that this is in their best interests. If she loves your children, as I again hope is the case, and you truly want to play a positive role in your children’s lives as a loving father, then I firmly believe that you can find a good family therapist who can work with you and your ex to seek a resolution that will best serve the interests of your children. Given your description of her as a “malicious mom,” I can only imagine there is a great deal of mistrust between the two of you, but if you find a concerned and professional therapist who can explain to you both that he or she is acting objectively to find a resolution that will be best for your children, perhaps your wife would be willing to participate. I really do feel that this is the best approach for parents and, more importantly, in my opinion, for the children they have brought into the world. The family court system all too often promotes conflict with no professional insight whatsoever into the psychological repercussions of such conflict on children. And, if it isn’t obvious enough, conflict can result in MANY lucrative billable hours for divorce attorneys. Family therapists make their careers seeking to heal wounds and to bring peace where there is conflict.

My ex refused to attend family therapy (no surprise!), but because of the painful trauma my son and I both endured, we have been very much helped by the counseling we’ve had. Even if your wife refuses to participate, family counseling might help you to deal with her more successfully, to get some support from someone who understands, and to find solutions to the obstacles you face in being close to your children.

Finally, as a mother who has been put through far too much by a terribly malicious ex, and, more significantly, who has seen her son endure more pain than a child ever should, I can easily see how this matter can be turned into a gender issue. A quick Google search will make plain that there is certainly a VERY active “fathers’ rights” movement that has gained significant momentum in the U.S. However, my hope is that parents who love their children and want the best for them fight not for fathers’ rights or mothers’ rights, but first and foremost for children’s rights. All children deserve the right to be raised in peace and security with support and love from their parents. Any parent who is committed to treating his or her child with respect, dignity and love should be supported (and parents who are abusive and neglectful with their children should face the consequences). In the end, no child asks to be born into the conflict of his or her parents, and, if AT ALL possible (sometimes it just is not), parents should work together to seek peaceful resolutions to raise their children to be healthy and happy, to feel safe and secure.

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Scott November 1, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Ok so he is so fabuuuulous, everytime I google help for single parents all I get is help for single mothers “Obama’s smilling face there..oh joy” – I have yet to see where it says single parents!!! Why is it still only single mothers that get the recognition? Suppose us single fathers who are struggling from paycheck to paycheck don’t count and the deadbeat mothers who don’t pay what they should, get away with it – so glad things are all on the table for everyone…well as long as your a single mother that is.

Oh and before anyone says a lot of B.S. I have tried many times for assistance and have been denied, you know what I tell everyone” I make enough to stay broke”. If I quit my job tomorrow they’d probably trip over themselves to give me EVERYTHING!!! Guess I am bitter at the system, 6 years now as a single father and very little help from my ex and Domestic Relations is a joke – suppose if I walked in there with a dress and double d they’d also trip over themselves to help.

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lee anne December 13, 2012 at 12:16 pm

There suld b sum thing done bout dead beat dads filing for divorce and taken the kids from there mom its so wrong cuz my x husband had nothing to do.with them took ymthem for a visit and wuldn let me c them unless I gave him some kinda of custody which I gave in n gave him physical custody till I can hire a lawyer but I think sum laws seriously need o b changed when.it cums to parents

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Rahmad February 4, 2015 at 4:30 am

being a dirty hispanic meacxin i am offended by eric in keller’s comments. no i’m not just b-s’ing. what embarrassments.since i am a dirty hispanic meacxin i can make this joke, but the rest of you red necks, if you repeat this you are racist!the kids in the reflecting pool, they were demonstrating what their parents did to get here, so it would not be forgotten…see they knew what they were doing!blow me up!!!!

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Angel March 9, 2013 at 12:10 pm

Child support always gets me fired up. I am a single mom with two amazing girls. When their father and I went through our divorce he pulled his normal “act” and said he wanted shared custody, very other weekend, one night a week and shared holidays. Which I was fine with me and what i would want for my girls. Come to find out once all the papers were filed and the divorce was final that he only was saying this to get the 12% discount on child support for having them stay overnight. He hasn’t seen his children in almost two years and has told everyone that he doesn’t want to be in their lives. Now they don’t get the full amount of child support they deserve. And as far as I know the only way this can change is to go back to court and change the parenting time and court again to change child support….. So I am working two jobs just to make ends meet.

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Bhavesh January 29, 2015 at 4:00 am

Review by Lee Say Keng for Rich Dad, Poor Dad for Teens: The Secrets About Money that You Don’t Learn in School! (Miniature Edition) Rating: Despite the controversy surrnundiog the author, Robert Kiyosaki, I strongly feel that this particular book is still worth reading by teens, as it offers good teen-friendly advice on achieving financial headstart freedom.Overall, his advice is also given in a straight-talk, easy-to-understand manner.In a nut shell, this particular book covers basic principles of cash flow, assets liabilities, savings investments, as well as spotting money-making opportunities. There is even useful information about personal learning style while developing financial intelligence.Yes, the author’s published stuff to some extent may seem hyberbolic on the surface, but deep down, you can always discern some useful learning from some of his teachings. [Personally, I have encountered the author in Hawaii. Frankly, I don’t like his arrogant attitude his seemingly characteristic propensity for running circles around people who ask pertinent questions, but I do respect some of his thoughtware.]His core financial advice to teens is certainly realistic:- work to learn, not to earn; – don’t work for money, make money work for you!; – play games to learn!Allow me to share this simple reading philosophy of mine: Absorb what is useful; reject what is useless; research your own experience add what is specifically your own!

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