Screw you, Disney.

by mssinglemama on June 14, 2008

1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristen is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristen, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristen for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristen, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristen is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristen, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristen for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristen, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristen is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristen, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristen for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristen, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
In 1989, my father sent me this letter while on a business trip in San Francisco.

Dear Alaina!

This is a letter for you from your father who loves you from here to heaven and back, which simply is a distance that no person can even begin to imagine, until that person has been as fortunate as I have been in being a part of your creation and your life.

Let’s always be honest and truthful with each other so we can always be close and not be separated.

Your only,

Dad

Ten years later he died of cancer.

My five brothers and sisters and I, our mother – we were shattered. Our family torn to the core. We’re still picking up the pieces. He was our rock. He was humble, modest, reserved but filled with joy and love for the world and for life. As a doctor he healed people for a living, but he also healed their souls with his eyes, his understanding and his compassion.

When I first started this blog, a brilliant commenter Tim Chard suggested I write a letter to my father. I had written about my fears of commitment, my fears of loss. Tim asked me if my father would want me to carry guilt and fear. So, here it is… it’s long, I can’t read it again because my eyes are flooded. So bear with the long form, this is just what came out.

Dad,

You wouldn’t believe it … you wouldn’t believe how beautiful Benjamin is! How smart he is … and he has your smile! He does … his eyes cinch up like yours did when he smiles really hard. I wish you were here to throw him up in the air, tickle him like crazy and teach him about the world.

Remember the thunderstorm in the lake? When you woke me up in the middle of the night so we could go swimming in Lake Michigan, with the lightening off in the distance and the rain pouring over our heads? I wonder about that all of the time. Why didn’t you just go alone? Why bother waking up your 12-year-old daughter, who probably needed her sleep. You woke me up because, as with everything else, you wanted me to experience that thunderstorm. You wanted me to face my fears. And you wanted to enjoy it with me. I’ll never forget it…ever.

I can still feel the water, I can still see you jumping through the waves, diving and then popping back up shouting – that shout – you know the one. The one where you sounded like you were completely exhaling all of your frustrations, all of your stress. And then we were jumping around – swimming in the dark. I knew nothing would happen to me, because you were there to protect me

You’re gone now. I know you are. But I can feel you. I see you in Benjamin’s eyes. He sees you in mine, and we love you so, so much. It would be easier if you were here, maybe … but in a way, all of this – this single mom thing – this life thing – seems easier because I watched you suffer with that cancer. That evil, evil cancer. Everything else pales in comparison on the emotional pain threshold compared to the way you had to suffer. And the pain I felt after you were ripped out of our lives.

I still love you from here to heaven and back … and I try to be strong. I do. But I’m just your little girl inside. All I want sometimes is for you to just tell me that everything will be okay. For you to give me a big bear hug, or for you to even yell at me and tell me when I’m wrong. Sometimes I forget that you’re gone. It happens once every few years. Something happens, something silly and my brain thinks for a split second, a nano second that I should call you. And then I remember that you’re gone. But that second is so blissful.

I want you to know that I tell Benjamin about you all of the time. I tell him that he has you … and that because he has you, he has a special angel looking out for him. You are an angel. You were an angel. But you were also the most amazing father anyone ever could have dreamed of having.

You weren’t scared of anything. You just lived. The most important lesson you ever taught me was to love and appreciate life, and you taught me that long before you died. You knew it all along. I’m just so sorry you had to suffer like that. And don’t feel bad for being so pissed at the end. I would have been too. I just want you to know that you still inspire me, every day.

And I can still see your smile, I can still hear your voice and I can still feel your hugs. You’re still with me. Don’t ever go.

Happy Father’s Day Daddy!

P.S. I love how you put an exclamation point after my name!
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristen is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristen, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristen for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristen, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristen is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristen, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristen for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristen, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
In 1989, my father sent me this letter while on a business trip in San Francisco.

Dear Alaina!

This is a letter for you from your father who loves you from here to heaven and back, which simply is a distance that no person can even begin to imagine, until that person has been as fortunate as I have been in being a part of your creation and your life.

Let’s always be honest and truthful with each other so we can always be close and not be separated.

Your only,

Dad

Ten years later he died of cancer.

My five brothers and sisters and I, our mother – we were shattered. Our family torn to the core. We’re still picking up the pieces. He was our rock. He was humble, modest, reserved but filled with joy and love for the world and for life. As a doctor he healed people for a living, but he also healed their souls with his eyes, his understanding and his compassion.

When I first started this blog, a brilliant commenter Tim Chard suggested I write a letter to my father. I had written about my fears of commitment, my fears of loss. Tim asked me if my father would want me to carry guilt and fear. So, here it is… it’s long, I can’t read it again because my eyes are flooded. So bear with the long form, this is just what came out.

Dad,

You wouldn’t believe it … you wouldn’t believe how beautiful Benjamin is! How smart he is … and he has your smile! He does … his eyes cinch up like yours did when he smiles really hard. I wish you were here to throw him up in the air, tickle him like crazy and teach him about the world.

Remember the thunderstorm in the lake? When you woke me up in the middle of the night so we could go swimming in Lake Michigan, with the lightening off in the distance and the rain pouring over our heads? I wonder about that all of the time. Why didn’t you just go alone? Why bother waking up your 12-year-old daughter, who probably needed her sleep. You woke me up because, as with everything else, you wanted me to experience that thunderstorm. You wanted me to face my fears. And you wanted to enjoy it with me. I’ll never forget it…ever.

I can still feel the water, I can still see you jumping through the waves, diving and then popping back up shouting – that shout – you know the one. The one where you sounded like you were completely exhaling all of your frustrations, all of your stress. And then we were jumping around – swimming in the dark. I knew nothing would happen to me, because you were there to protect me

You’re gone now. I know you are. But I can feel you. I see you in Benjamin’s eyes. He sees you in mine, and we love you so, so much. It would be easier if you were here, maybe … but in a way, all of this – this single mom thing – this life thing – seems easier because I watched you suffer with that cancer. That evil, evil cancer. Everything else pales in comparison on the emotional pain threshold compared to the way you had to suffer. And the pain I felt after you were ripped out of our lives.

I still love you from here to heaven and back … and I try to be strong. I do. But I’m just your little girl inside. All I want sometimes is for you to just tell me that everything will be okay. For you to give me a big bear hug, or for you to even yell at me and tell me when I’m wrong. Sometimes I forget that you’re gone. It happens once every few years. Something happens, something silly and my brain thinks for a split second, a nano second that I should call you. And then I remember that you’re gone. But that second is so blissful.

I want you to know that I tell Benjamin about you all of the time. I tell him that he has you … and that because he has you, he has a special angel looking out for him. You are an angel. You were an angel. But you were also the most amazing father anyone ever could have dreamed of having.

You weren’t scared of anything. You just lived. The most important lesson you ever taught me was to love and appreciate life, and you taught me that long before you died. You knew it all along. I’m just so sorry you had to suffer like that. And don’t feel bad for being so pissed at the end. I would have been too. I just want you to know that you still inspire me, every day.

And I can still see your smile, I can still hear your voice and I can still feel your hugs. You’re still with me. Don’t ever go.

Happy Father’s Day Daddy!

P.S. I love how you put an exclamation point after my name!
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristen is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristen, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristen for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristen, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
In 1989, my father sent me this letter while on a business trip in San Francisco.

Dear Alaina!

This is a letter for you from your father who loves you from here to heaven and back, which simply is a distance that no person can even begin to imagine, until that person has been as fortunate as I have been in being a part of your creation and your life.

Let’s always be honest and truthful with each other so we can always be close and not be separated.

Your only,

Dad

Ten years later he died of cancer.

My five brothers and sisters and I, our mother – we were shattered. Our family torn to the core. We’re still picking up the pieces. He was our rock. He was humble, modest, reserved but filled with joy and love for the world and for life. As a doctor he healed people for a living, but he also healed their souls with his eyes, his understanding and his compassion.

When I first started this blog, a brilliant commenter Tim Chard suggested I write a letter to my father. I had written about my fears of commitment, my fears of loss. Tim asked me if my father would want me to carry guilt and fear. So, here it is… it’s long, I can’t read it again because my eyes are flooded. So bear with the long form, this is just what came out.

Dad,

You wouldn’t believe it … you wouldn’t believe how beautiful Benjamin is! How smart he is … and he has your smile! He does … his eyes cinch up like yours did when he smiles really hard. I wish you were here to throw him up in the air, tickle him like crazy and teach him about the world.

Remember the thunderstorm in the lake? When you woke me up in the middle of the night so we could go swimming in Lake Michigan, with the lightening off in the distance and the rain pouring over our heads? I wonder about that all of the time. Why didn’t you just go alone? Why bother waking up your 12-year-old daughter, who probably needed her sleep. You woke me up because, as with everything else, you wanted me to experience that thunderstorm. You wanted me to face my fears. And you wanted to enjoy it with me. I’ll never forget it…ever.

I can still feel the water, I can still see you jumping through the waves, diving and then popping back up shouting – that shout – you know the one. The one where you sounded like you were completely exhaling all of your frustrations, all of your stress. And then we were jumping around – swimming in the dark. I knew nothing would happen to me, because you were there to protect me

You’re gone now. I know you are. But I can feel you. I see you in Benjamin’s eyes. He sees you in mine, and we love you so, so much. It would be easier if you were here, maybe … but in a way, all of this – this single mom thing – this life thing – seems easier because I watched you suffer with that cancer. That evil, evil cancer. Everything else pales in comparison on the emotional pain threshold compared to the way you had to suffer. And the pain I felt after you were ripped out of our lives.

I still love you from here to heaven and back … and I try to be strong. I do. But I’m just your little girl inside. All I want sometimes is for you to just tell me that everything will be okay. For you to give me a big bear hug, or for you to even yell at me and tell me when I’m wrong. Sometimes I forget that you’re gone. It happens once every few years. Something happens, something silly and my brain thinks for a split second, a nano second that I should call you. And then I remember that you’re gone. But that second is so blissful.

I want you to know that I tell Benjamin about you all of the time. I tell him that he has you … and that because he has you, he has a special angel looking out for him. You are an angel. You were an angel. But you were also the most amazing father anyone ever could have dreamed of having.

You weren’t scared of anything. You just lived. The most important lesson you ever taught me was to love and appreciate life, and you taught me that long before you died. You knew it all along. I’m just so sorry you had to suffer like that. And don’t feel bad for being so pissed at the end. I would have been too. I just want you to know that you still inspire me, every day.

And I can still see your smile, I can still hear your voice and I can still feel your hugs. You’re still with me. Don’t ever go.

Happy Father’s Day Daddy!

P.S. I love how you put an exclamation point after my name!
benjamincutie.jpg

Some mornings are better than others.

This morning was a bad one. Benjamin usually wakes up between 7:15 and 7:30. But this morning it was 6:45. I had been up late last night cleaning and didn’t actually fall asleep until around 11:45. Yesterday was a great morning. He was in a happy mood, we got up and at ’em with few whines or whimpers and were on our merry way. But this morning he knew things were back to normal – meaning mommy gets ready for work and then he goes to daycare – so he proceeded to push every one of my buttons.

First it started with the whining, coupled with the persistent leg grabbing – which I hate. I can’t stand the whining and then when he starts clinging to my legs, begging to be held I usually boil over. There’s no way I can pick him up because I have to get ready for work, not even mention teach him that he can’t behave that way. So I resist. Then after the bedroom it’s off to the bathroom and make up. He jumps on top of the toilet, off of the toilet, then onto the floor, then he’s sticking his hands into the toilet. I’m trying to breath. Trying to breath. But I can’t. I try to count to ten. That’s not working either.

“Benjamin, where are your shoes baby? Why don’t you go find your shoes.”

“No!”

“Okay, you know what – out of here. Out, now. You’re driving me crazy.” He toddles away out of the bathroom and then I want to cry. I feel horrible. I love him so much and just want to run up and cuddle him. I hate losing my temper with a 21 month old. But I do – and it’s usually always first thing in the morning.

He returns a few seconds later with my slipper. He’s trying to put it on my foot. I comply. “Where’s the other one?” He departs and returns a few minutes later with the missing slipper. This bought me enough time to put on my eyeliner and finish up my mascara. But now he’s back at it.

I’ll give him a treat. Yes! A treat. The quick fix to any time crunched single mama. It buys me enough to time to finish up a few things. We’re ready to go. Finally. But now he’s dodging me. Running away from me so I can’t put his coat on. Fun. This is great. I can’t catch my own kid. He’s using the coffee table as a buffer and laughing his ass off while I’m frantically trying to catch him. Then I start laughing too. This is the best part about being a mom. One minute you’re ready to jump off of a cliff and the next you’re laughing and bursting with pride and joy. My kid knows how to push my buttons but he also knows how to make me laugh.

I’ll have to focus on that positive reinforcement more in the mornings. It’s just so hard when you’re rushed and tired. Like I said, some are better than others…here’s for hoping that tomorrow is one of the good ones.
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristen is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristen, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristen for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristen, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristen is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristen, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristen for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristen, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
In 1989, my father sent me this letter while on a business trip in San Francisco.

Dear Alaina!

This is a letter for you from your father who loves you from here to heaven and back, which simply is a distance that no person can even begin to imagine, until that person has been as fortunate as I have been in being a part of your creation and your life.

Let’s always be honest and truthful with each other so we can always be close and not be separated.

Your only,

Dad

Ten years later he died of cancer.

My five brothers and sisters and I, our mother – we were shattered. Our family torn to the core. We’re still picking up the pieces. He was our rock. He was humble, modest, reserved but filled with joy and love for the world and for life. As a doctor he healed people for a living, but he also healed their souls with his eyes, his understanding and his compassion.

When I first started this blog, a brilliant commenter Tim Chard suggested I write a letter to my father. I had written about my fears of commitment, my fears of loss. Tim asked me if my father would want me to carry guilt and fear. So, here it is… it’s long, I can’t read it again because my eyes are flooded. So bear with the long form, this is just what came out.

Dad,

You wouldn’t believe it … you wouldn’t believe how beautiful Benjamin is! How smart he is … and he has your smile! He does … his eyes cinch up like yours did when he smiles really hard. I wish you were here to throw him up in the air, tickle him like crazy and teach him about the world.

Remember the thunderstorm in the lake? When you woke me up in the middle of the night so we could go swimming in Lake Michigan, with the lightening off in the distance and the rain pouring over our heads? I wonder about that all of the time. Why didn’t you just go alone? Why bother waking up your 12-year-old daughter, who probably needed her sleep. You woke me up because, as with everything else, you wanted me to experience that thunderstorm. You wanted me to face my fears. And you wanted to enjoy it with me. I’ll never forget it…ever.

I can still feel the water, I can still see you jumping through the waves, diving and then popping back up shouting – that shout – you know the one. The one where you sounded like you were completely exhaling all of your frustrations, all of your stress. And then we were jumping around – swimming in the dark. I knew nothing would happen to me, because you were there to protect me

You’re gone now. I know you are. But I can feel you. I see you in Benjamin’s eyes. He sees you in mine, and we love you so, so much. It would be easier if you were here, maybe … but in a way, all of this – this single mom thing – this life thing – seems easier because I watched you suffer with that cancer. That evil, evil cancer. Everything else pales in comparison on the emotional pain threshold compared to the way you had to suffer. And the pain I felt after you were ripped out of our lives.

I still love you from here to heaven and back … and I try to be strong. I do. But I’m just your little girl inside. All I want sometimes is for you to just tell me that everything will be okay. For you to give me a big bear hug, or for you to even yell at me and tell me when I’m wrong. Sometimes I forget that you’re gone. It happens once every few years. Something happens, something silly and my brain thinks for a split second, a nano second that I should call you. And then I remember that you’re gone. But that second is so blissful.

I want you to know that I tell Benjamin about you all of the time. I tell him that he has you … and that because he has you, he has a special angel looking out for him. You are an angel. You were an angel. But you were also the most amazing father anyone ever could have dreamed of having.

You weren’t scared of anything. You just lived. The most important lesson you ever taught me was to love and appreciate life, and you taught me that long before you died. You knew it all along. I’m just so sorry you had to suffer like that. And don’t feel bad for being so pissed at the end. I would have been too. I just want you to know that you still inspire me, every day.

And I can still see your smile, I can still hear your voice and I can still feel your hugs. You’re still with me. Don’t ever go.

Happy Father’s Day Daddy!

P.S. I love how you put an exclamation point after my name!
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristen is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristen, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristen for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristen, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
In 1989, my father sent me this letter while on a business trip in San Francisco.

Dear Alaina!

This is a letter for you from your father who loves you from here to heaven and back, which simply is a distance that no person can even begin to imagine, until that person has been as fortunate as I have been in being a part of your creation and your life.

Let’s always be honest and truthful with each other so we can always be close and not be separated.

Your only,

Dad

Ten years later he died of cancer.

My five brothers and sisters and I, our mother – we were shattered. Our family torn to the core. We’re still picking up the pieces. He was our rock. He was humble, modest, reserved but filled with joy and love for the world and for life. As a doctor he healed people for a living, but he also healed their souls with his eyes, his understanding and his compassion.

When I first started this blog, a brilliant commenter Tim Chard suggested I write a letter to my father. I had written about my fears of commitment, my fears of loss. Tim asked me if my father would want me to carry guilt and fear. So, here it is… it’s long, I can’t read it again because my eyes are flooded. So bear with the long form, this is just what came out.

Dad,

You wouldn’t believe it … you wouldn’t believe how beautiful Benjamin is! How smart he is … and he has your smile! He does … his eyes cinch up like yours did when he smiles really hard. I wish you were here to throw him up in the air, tickle him like crazy and teach him about the world.

Remember the thunderstorm in the lake? When you woke me up in the middle of the night so we could go swimming in Lake Michigan, with the lightening off in the distance and the rain pouring over our heads? I wonder about that all of the time. Why didn’t you just go alone? Why bother waking up your 12-year-old daughter, who probably needed her sleep. You woke me up because, as with everything else, you wanted me to experience that thunderstorm. You wanted me to face my fears. And you wanted to enjoy it with me. I’ll never forget it…ever.

I can still feel the water, I can still see you jumping through the waves, diving and then popping back up shouting – that shout – you know the one. The one where you sounded like you were completely exhaling all of your frustrations, all of your stress. And then we were jumping around – swimming in the dark. I knew nothing would happen to me, because you were there to protect me

You’re gone now. I know you are. But I can feel you. I see you in Benjamin’s eyes. He sees you in mine, and we love you so, so much. It would be easier if you were here, maybe … but in a way, all of this – this single mom thing – this life thing – seems easier because I watched you suffer with that cancer. That evil, evil cancer. Everything else pales in comparison on the emotional pain threshold compared to the way you had to suffer. And the pain I felt after you were ripped out of our lives.

I still love you from here to heaven and back … and I try to be strong. I do. But I’m just your little girl inside. All I want sometimes is for you to just tell me that everything will be okay. For you to give me a big bear hug, or for you to even yell at me and tell me when I’m wrong. Sometimes I forget that you’re gone. It happens once every few years. Something happens, something silly and my brain thinks for a split second, a nano second that I should call you. And then I remember that you’re gone. But that second is so blissful.

I want you to know that I tell Benjamin about you all of the time. I tell him that he has you … and that because he has you, he has a special angel looking out for him. You are an angel. You were an angel. But you were also the most amazing father anyone ever could have dreamed of having.

You weren’t scared of anything. You just lived. The most important lesson you ever taught me was to love and appreciate life, and you taught me that long before you died. You knew it all along. I’m just so sorry you had to suffer like that. And don’t feel bad for being so pissed at the end. I would have been too. I just want you to know that you still inspire me, every day.

And I can still see your smile, I can still hear your voice and I can still feel your hugs. You’re still with me. Don’t ever go.

Happy Father’s Day Daddy!

P.S. I love how you put an exclamation point after my name!
benjamincutie.jpg

Some mornings are better than others.

This morning was a bad one. Benjamin usually wakes up between 7:15 and 7:30. But this morning it was 6:45. I had been up late last night cleaning and didn’t actually fall asleep until around 11:45. Yesterday was a great morning. He was in a happy mood, we got up and at ’em with few whines or whimpers and were on our merry way. But this morning he knew things were back to normal – meaning mommy gets ready for work and then he goes to daycare – so he proceeded to push every one of my buttons.

First it started with the whining, coupled with the persistent leg grabbing – which I hate. I can’t stand the whining and then when he starts clinging to my legs, begging to be held I usually boil over. There’s no way I can pick him up because I have to get ready for work, not even mention teach him that he can’t behave that way. So I resist. Then after the bedroom it’s off to the bathroom and make up. He jumps on top of the toilet, off of the toilet, then onto the floor, then he’s sticking his hands into the toilet. I’m trying to breath. Trying to breath. But I can’t. I try to count to ten. That’s not working either.

“Benjamin, where are your shoes baby? Why don’t you go find your shoes.”

“No!”

“Okay, you know what – out of here. Out, now. You’re driving me crazy.” He toddles away out of the bathroom and then I want to cry. I feel horrible. I love him so much and just want to run up and cuddle him. I hate losing my temper with a 21 month old. But I do – and it’s usually always first thing in the morning.

He returns a few seconds later with my slipper. He’s trying to put it on my foot. I comply. “Where’s the other one?” He departs and returns a few minutes later with the missing slipper. This bought me enough time to put on my eyeliner and finish up my mascara. But now he’s back at it.

I’ll give him a treat. Yes! A treat. The quick fix to any time crunched single mama. It buys me enough to time to finish up a few things. We’re ready to go. Finally. But now he’s dodging me. Running away from me so I can’t put his coat on. Fun. This is great. I can’t catch my own kid. He’s using the coffee table as a buffer and laughing his ass off while I’m frantically trying to catch him. Then I start laughing too. This is the best part about being a mom. One minute you’re ready to jump off of a cliff and the next you’re laughing and bursting with pride and joy. My kid knows how to push my buttons but he also knows how to make me laugh.

I’ll have to focus on that positive reinforcement more in the mornings. It’s just so hard when you’re rushed and tired. Like I said, some are better than others…here’s for hoping that tomorrow is one of the good ones.
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristen is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristen, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristen for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristen, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
In 1989, my father sent me this letter while on a business trip in San Francisco.

Dear Alaina!

This is a letter for you from your father who loves you from here to heaven and back, which simply is a distance that no person can even begin to imagine, until that person has been as fortunate as I have been in being a part of your creation and your life.

Let’s always be honest and truthful with each other so we can always be close and not be separated.

Your only,

Dad

Ten years later he died of cancer.

My five brothers and sisters and I, our mother – we were shattered. Our family torn to the core. We’re still picking up the pieces. He was our rock. He was humble, modest, reserved but filled with joy and love for the world and for life. As a doctor he healed people for a living, but he also healed their souls with his eyes, his understanding and his compassion.

When I first started this blog, a brilliant commenter Tim Chard suggested I write a letter to my father. I had written about my fears of commitment, my fears of loss. Tim asked me if my father would want me to carry guilt and fear. So, here it is… it’s long, I can’t read it again because my eyes are flooded. So bear with the long form, this is just what came out.

Dad,

You wouldn’t believe it … you wouldn’t believe how beautiful Benjamin is! How smart he is … and he has your smile! He does … his eyes cinch up like yours did when he smiles really hard. I wish you were here to throw him up in the air, tickle him like crazy and teach him about the world.

Remember the thunderstorm in the lake? When you woke me up in the middle of the night so we could go swimming in Lake Michigan, with the lightening off in the distance and the rain pouring over our heads? I wonder about that all of the time. Why didn’t you just go alone? Why bother waking up your 12-year-old daughter, who probably needed her sleep. You woke me up because, as with everything else, you wanted me to experience that thunderstorm. You wanted me to face my fears. And you wanted to enjoy it with me. I’ll never forget it…ever.

I can still feel the water, I can still see you jumping through the waves, diving and then popping back up shouting – that shout – you know the one. The one where you sounded like you were completely exhaling all of your frustrations, all of your stress. And then we were jumping around – swimming in the dark. I knew nothing would happen to me, because you were there to protect me

You’re gone now. I know you are. But I can feel you. I see you in Benjamin’s eyes. He sees you in mine, and we love you so, so much. It would be easier if you were here, maybe … but in a way, all of this – this single mom thing – this life thing – seems easier because I watched you suffer with that cancer. That evil, evil cancer. Everything else pales in comparison on the emotional pain threshold compared to the way you had to suffer. And the pain I felt after you were ripped out of our lives.

I still love you from here to heaven and back … and I try to be strong. I do. But I’m just your little girl inside. All I want sometimes is for you to just tell me that everything will be okay. For you to give me a big bear hug, or for you to even yell at me and tell me when I’m wrong. Sometimes I forget that you’re gone. It happens once every few years. Something happens, something silly and my brain thinks for a split second, a nano second that I should call you. And then I remember that you’re gone. But that second is so blissful.

I want you to know that I tell Benjamin about you all of the time. I tell him that he has you … and that because he has you, he has a special angel looking out for him. You are an angel. You were an angel. But you were also the most amazing father anyone ever could have dreamed of having.

You weren’t scared of anything. You just lived. The most important lesson you ever taught me was to love and appreciate life, and you taught me that long before you died. You knew it all along. I’m just so sorry you had to suffer like that. And don’t feel bad for being so pissed at the end. I would have been too. I just want you to know that you still inspire me, every day.

And I can still see your smile, I can still hear your voice and I can still feel your hugs. You’re still with me. Don’t ever go.

Happy Father’s Day Daddy!

P.S. I love how you put an exclamation point after my name!
benjamincutie.jpg

Some mornings are better than others.

This morning was a bad one. Benjamin usually wakes up between 7:15 and 7:30. But this morning it was 6:45. I had been up late last night cleaning and didn’t actually fall asleep until around 11:45. Yesterday was a great morning. He was in a happy mood, we got up and at ’em with few whines or whimpers and were on our merry way. But this morning he knew things were back to normal – meaning mommy gets ready for work and then he goes to daycare – so he proceeded to push every one of my buttons.

First it started with the whining, coupled with the persistent leg grabbing – which I hate. I can’t stand the whining and then when he starts clinging to my legs, begging to be held I usually boil over. There’s no way I can pick him up because I have to get ready for work, not even mention teach him that he can’t behave that way. So I resist. Then after the bedroom it’s off to the bathroom and make up. He jumps on top of the toilet, off of the toilet, then onto the floor, then he’s sticking his hands into the toilet. I’m trying to breath. Trying to breath. But I can’t. I try to count to ten. That’s not working either.

“Benjamin, where are your shoes baby? Why don’t you go find your shoes.”

“No!”

“Okay, you know what – out of here. Out, now. You’re driving me crazy.” He toddles away out of the bathroom and then I want to cry. I feel horrible. I love him so much and just want to run up and cuddle him. I hate losing my temper with a 21 month old. But I do – and it’s usually always first thing in the morning.

He returns a few seconds later with my slipper. He’s trying to put it on my foot. I comply. “Where’s the other one?” He departs and returns a few minutes later with the missing slipper. This bought me enough time to put on my eyeliner and finish up my mascara. But now he’s back at it.

I’ll give him a treat. Yes! A treat. The quick fix to any time crunched single mama. It buys me enough to time to finish up a few things. We’re ready to go. Finally. But now he’s dodging me. Running away from me so I can’t put his coat on. Fun. This is great. I can’t catch my own kid. He’s using the coffee table as a buffer and laughing his ass off while I’m frantically trying to catch him. Then I start laughing too. This is the best part about being a mom. One minute you’re ready to jump off of a cliff and the next you’re laughing and bursting with pride and joy. My kid knows how to push my buttons but he also knows how to make me laugh.

I’ll have to focus on that positive reinforcement more in the mornings. It’s just so hard when you’re rushed and tired. Like I said, some are better than others…here’s for hoping that tomorrow is one of the good ones.
Benjamin and I went to his best friend’s birthday party today.

After Sydney, who’s just four-years-old, opened her fourth princess doll, her grandmother looked at me and said, “When we were girls, we didn’t have all of this princess stuff. Look it’s every where – this idea that some man is going to come kiss you and everything will be fine! The happy ending! Yeah right. What are you girls going to do?”

What she meant was – how in the hell will we ever be able to get this out of our heads?

Here’s one way to do it. Be a single mom for a day. Or a month, or two years.

You’ll quickly be brushing prince charmings aside for a man who is responsible, kind, compassionate and yes, sexy. And they do exist. They’re real men. But they’re not going to come kiss us and make it all better. We realize this.

Don’t we? I hope you do. That will make it easier … I promise. One foot in front of the other my lovelies.

Back Up Posts

Single Moms and the Men Who Love Us

Want Men to Start Falling From the Sky?

Prince Charming Can Kiss My Ass

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Your Turn… « Ms. Single Mama
June 17, 2008 at 5:42 pm

{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

Debbie June 15, 2008 at 12:00 am

The responsible, kind, compassionate, sexy ones ARE the Prince Charmings. I want my daughters to feel like princesses and to hold themselves and their future loves to those standards so they won’t ever be single moms. Yes, I need my husband – and he needs me, too. We are better as a team than we could ever be apart.

Does that mean I couldn’t do it alone? I’m sure I would if I had to, but I sure wouldn’t ever want to try.

Cart before horse – you have to know what you need and what you want – both in the short AND long term – and hold out for that kind of person, not just settle for the first pair of hot pants that comes along. Disney rocks!

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Cyrus Haskell June 15, 2008 at 12:19 am

All I can say to this is, the amount of princess paraphernalia in my house has completely zapped any testosterone that wasn’t taken away by painting toe nails and being the male equivalent of a crazy cat lady. Screw You Disney, inded.

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Jennifer June 15, 2008 at 2:17 am

The Disney princesses are so ridiculous. I love the idea of being a princess, but as a modern day princess. You know, the kind that actually rule countries and meet with Heads of State, but still have fabulous jewelry and clothes too! lol

I don’t understand Disney’s underlying premise that princesses have to be ‘saved’ by a man. Even Prince Charming has the potential to bail after the fairy tale turns to daily drudgery! Hell, the Princess might choose to bail when Charming turns to Chump. Disney bites, and let me not even talk about their attempt to be ethnically PC either.

Off topic, but the ‘hot pants’ remark is bugging me, but it’s late so I’d like to know if it was meant the way I’m reading it.

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mssinglemama June 15, 2008 at 8:48 am

Ummm…yeah. Jennifer, I had to read it twice too.

I just want to say that my mom is incredibly proud that her princess turned into a single mom (because no mother would want their daughter treated the way my ex treated me). And we all – no matter how smart – can pick a dud prince.

Cyrus – You Rock. Sorry about your zapped testosterone. : )

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Sparkling Mama June 15, 2008 at 9:06 am

As the mom of 2 girls, the infatuation with princesses frightens me! I am teaching my daughters to be strong, independent women and they question me because Sleeping Beauty kissed her prince and lived happily ever after. She didn’t have to go to college or get a job!! My response: Princesses are pretend.

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Alexis June 15, 2008 at 11:46 am

Being a single mom makes you a queen ladies! Which is way better than a princess anyway!

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mssinglemama June 15, 2008 at 11:53 am

Alexis – I was thinking THE SAME thing. Weird.

Sparkling Mama – you have a house full of girls don’t you? Two right? Yeah … it’s tough, how can we fight it? Disney is every where!

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Jim Everson June 15, 2008 at 12:42 pm

Hate the film, not the film maker
-Jim’s armchair literary analysis-

While I am in complete agreement with missinglemama on this one, I do want to point out a couple of things. What do readers here think of three more recent Disney films that are not a part of the 1950s social norms…for example..

Beauty and the Beast: In this film Belle is no princess in waiting, but is a fully independent individual. While she may express childish fantasies at the beginning of the film as she pines for the prince she reads about in her book, she eventually transcends these expectations (and herself) when she meets her true love, whose form is anything but handsome. I think this is a great message for young girls. Also, while Gaston is a run of the mill villain, it is really the flawed character of the Beast which really caused the castle to become bewitched in the first place. Belle becomes the catalyst by which the Beast learns to surpass his own limits and become a better person. Without Belle, the Beast’s soul would not have stirred. Again, another great message on the power women can have in men’s lives and for inspiring REAL change.

Also, while they are not the protagonists of the film, the lionesses in Lion King are all strong characters. And here too, the lionesses continue to fulfill their responsibilities to the pride while all of the damage is done because of Simba’s selfishness, cowardice and inability to accept responsibility and Scar’s brutal ambition. In time, it is Nala’s discovery of Simba in exile and her insistence that he return to his duties that brings about the happy ending. Do you think Simba would have returned if Nala had never shown up? No way! He’d still be laying in the forest eating bugs and burping up at the stars. (Something I’ve seen a lot of guys resort to when there is not enough good woman energy in their lives!)

Finally there is Mulan. I hardly need to even summarize this. The entire film is about a woman who refuses to accept cultural norms and follows her own path.

So, while I agree that the Princess product line is a nasty one, I’m not sure I want to paint all of Disney’s films as springing from the same source.

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Jim Everson June 15, 2008 at 12:47 pm

Now that I’ve reread this post and my reply, I see that mssinglemama’s point is the real vital one. Its not that Disney makes stupid films, but rather that when I go to Target, I don’t exactly see an entire aisle dedicated to Mulan, Nala and Belle. That is a bummer.

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Chris June 15, 2008 at 12:50 pm

Your life is so boring – and the fact you feel the need to share it is quite sad. Get off your computer and get a life. Then you’ll be too busy to bore complete strangers on the Internet who are looking for useful information.

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Jim Everson June 15, 2008 at 1:11 pm

Hey Chris, you looking for useful information? Here’s some. Follow your own advice and stop sharing your opinion. Of course, if you were ever to read this, it would mean you actually RETURNED to this “boring” site.

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mssinglemama June 15, 2008 at 1:19 pm

Jim – thanks for that b/c I haven’t see Mulan and it’s been too long since I’ve seen Beauty and the Beast, but you’re right … there are some good ones.

Here’s a thought – on Disney – why do most of the movies begin with a parent dying???? That one really drives me nuts too.

And don’t get me wrong – all little girls should feel like princesses, it’s just the fairytale ending, rather than the reality of love and of life. We’ve got to be realistic about it in order to have healthy, fulfilling relationships. And what about the movies out there that we watch as adults? Like – Knocked Up … so unrealistic, you know?

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Andrea June 15, 2008 at 8:30 pm

not sure how we missed this trend since Frances is 4 1/2, right where it should be hitting us, but she seems to be mostly oblivious to princesses–thank goodness. I hope it stays that way for a long, long time.

But then, her mother (me) doesn’t espouse any particularly princessy attitudes either. I can’t understand why anyone would want to be any kind of princess–an inherited role composed of dressing in ridiculous designer outfits and pretending to be a head of state while everyone else makes the decisions? No, thank you. Why would I want to have power because of who my parents are, or my husband is? It sounds awful.

I also can’t figure out why people want to have hairstyles they have to blow-dry every morning (wouldn’t they rather sleep?) or buy magazines whose express purpose is to make them dissatsfied with their lives–so–whatever I’m role-modeling for her is not princessy at all. And I think that helps.

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Sara June 15, 2008 at 8:59 pm

Anyone remember that Belle was raised by a single dad? And Mulan was hard core.
Disney is the devil… I mean I know I am 5’10 all legs except of course for my 13 inch waist and 32D’s. Don’t forget my luscious cascading blonde hair sans any split ends… and in my spare time I like to sing about cleaning the dishes.
Oh and did I mention that birds dress me while mice wash my floor?

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Lobodelsur February 4, 2015 at 5:45 am

Sarah.. the lil bean is now officially named! It’s Aria London. I think Sarah you may have been the first peorsn I told in a moment of intuition walking down your front steps. It was worth taking our time though.. we love our final choice!

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SingleWorkingMommy June 15, 2008 at 10:16 pm

Aren’t Prince Charming’s supposed to be responsible, kind, charming, and sexy? If they aren’t, then why would anyone want them? I’m confused on that point.

I think maybe Disney princess films are to little girls like what chick flicks are to older women. I didn’t like Disney then, and I don’t like chick flicks now. It’s all fantasy–and I like real-world.

On another note, I think it would hard to side-step the princess-y culture these days. (Thank goodness I have a boy!) I’m impressed that Andrea has been able (that prbly sounds snarky, but it’s not). I went on a hunt for a friend’s daughter’s bday gift recently and EVERYTHING was pink princess puke. Gah! I ended up getting her a puzzle.

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mssinglemama June 15, 2008 at 10:50 pm

SWM …

The prince charmings in these movies are kind, charming and sexy – but it’s the whole fantasy thing. The lack of any reality. And you know, this extends to the adult movies most of us watch too. A bigger issue.

We just have to be realistic about love and so do our girls, so they don’t fall for the smooth, charmers – you know?

Sara … you’re funny. And yeah – go Belle’s dad.

Andrea … love your comment about magazines – by the time I’m done with one I feel like I just want more, and also feel very unattractive. Damn photo shopping.

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shannon June 16, 2008 at 9:15 am

My little B liked princess stuff for awhile, but I was very open with her about how silly it is that they keep waiting around for the prince. Did anyone see Enchanted? Because in that movie, the “princess” rescues her guy!!! We loved that one!

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Lance June 16, 2008 at 12:35 pm

Interestingly, my roommate rented Enchanted over the weekend and I watched it with her. I kinda loved it, and I’m mildly embarrassed to admit it. There was excellent chemistry between Amy Adams and Patrick Dempsey, but what was really great was the fact that Disney made a SPOOF about the Prince Charming/Princess fairy tale. Nicely done. It was a bit over the top but definitely worth watching.

I think we’re too flawed as humans to have the fairy tale relationships, but we can certainly have awesome chemistry, intimacy, and honesty.

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K June 16, 2008 at 2:58 pm

I can’t even tell you how many of my friend’s daughters have this stuff (me being the ‘token’ single – well, not married – friend). I don’t understand why the idea of a strong independant woman is not nourished as it was by my mother who raised two of us 11 months apart – as a single parent.
Where’s the movie with the single parent who works thier arse off trying to provide and everyone learning how the real world works?
riiiiight, wouldn’t make any money, and then we’d have nothing to complain about when our ‘spouses’ don’t bring us diamond studs and lavish us in gifts after a hard day at work, ha!
PS – great story about the older guy… my last long term was 16 years my senior and that was always my joke! great guy, but sometimes there is such a thing as too much of an age difference 😉

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Cyrus Haskell June 16, 2008 at 10:57 pm

Loved this one so much, I had to write a whole post to reply. Hope you check it out when you have time.

http://breakfastfordinner.net/?p=17

Loving the site more every time I visit. Keep up the good work, Queen of Sexy Mom Bloggers.

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writebrite July 10, 2008 at 12:24 pm

I used to love the idea of the “fairytale love” but in my ripe old age of 28, and two kids and too many failed relationships later, I think I’ve finally realized that fairytale love is just that, a fairytale.

Check out this song…it’s just about perfect!

Fairytale by Sara Bareilles

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