Screw you, Disney.
Benjamin and I went to his best friend’s birthday party today.
After Sydney, who’s just four-years-old, opened her fourth princess doll, her grandmother looked at me and said, “When we were girls, we didn’t have all of this princess stuff. Look it’s every where - this idea that some man is going to come kiss you and everything will be fine! The happy ending! Yeah right. What are you girls going to do?”
What she meant was - how in the hell will we ever be able to get this out of our heads?
Here’s one way to do it. Be a single mom for a day. Or a month, or two years.
You’ll quickly be brushing prince charmings aside for a man who is responsible, kind, compassionate and yes, sexy. And they do exist. They’re real men. But they’re not going to come kiss us and make it all better. We realize this.
Don’t we? I hope you do. That will make it easier … I promise. One foot in front of the other my lovelies.
Back Up Posts
Single Moms and the Men Who Love Us
Want Men to Start Falling From the Sky?
Prince Charming Can Kiss My Ass
Filed under: Being a single mom, Dating tips (for the single mama), Dating, sex and love, Falling in Love, Uncategorized
The responsible, kind, compassionate, sexy ones ARE the Prince Charmings. I want my daughters to feel like princesses and to hold themselves and their future loves to those standards so they won’t ever be single moms. Yes, I need my husband - and he needs me, too. We are better as a team than we could ever be apart.
Does that mean I couldn’t do it alone? I’m sure I would if I had to, but I sure wouldn’t ever want to try.
Cart before horse - you have to know what you need and what you want - both in the short AND long term - and hold out for that kind of person, not just settle for the first pair of hot pants that comes along. Disney rocks!
All I can say to this is, the amount of princess paraphernalia in my house has completely zapped any testosterone that wasn’t taken away by painting toe nails and being the male equivalent of a crazy cat lady. Screw You Disney, inded.
The Disney princesses are so ridiculous. I love the idea of being a princess, but as a modern day princess. You know, the kind that actually rule countries and meet with Heads of State, but still have fabulous jewelry and clothes too! lol
I don’t understand Disney’s underlying premise that princesses have to be ’saved’ by a man. Even Prince Charming has the potential to bail after the fairy tale turns to daily drudgery! Hell, the Princess might choose to bail when Charming turns to Chump. Disney bites, and let me not even talk about their attempt to be ethnically PC either.
Off topic, but the ‘hot pants’ remark is bugging me, but it’s late so I’d like to know if it was meant the way I’m reading it.
Ummm…yeah. Jennifer, I had to read it twice too.
I just want to say that my mom is incredibly proud that her princess turned into a single mom (because no mother would want their daughter treated the way my ex treated me). And we all - no matter how smart - can pick a dud prince.
Cyrus - You Rock. Sorry about your zapped testosterone. : )
As the mom of 2 girls, the infatuation with princesses frightens me! I am teaching my daughters to be strong, independent women and they question me because Sleeping Beauty kissed her prince and lived happily ever after. She didn’t have to go to college or get a job!! My response: Princesses are pretend.
Being a single mom makes you a queen ladies! Which is way better than a princess anyway!
Alexis - I was thinking THE SAME thing. Weird.
Sparkling Mama - you have a house full of girls don’t you? Two right? Yeah … it’s tough, how can we fight it? Disney is every where!
Hate the film, not the film maker
-Jim’s armchair literary analysis-
While I am in complete agreement with missinglemama on this one, I do want to point out a couple of things. What do readers here think of three more recent Disney films that are not a part of the 1950s social norms…for example..
Beauty and the Beast: In this film Belle is no princess in waiting, but is a fully independent individual. While she may express childish fantasies at the beginning of the film as she pines for the prince she reads about in her book, she eventually transcends these expectations (and herself) when she meets her true love, whose form is anything but handsome. I think this is a great message for young girls. Also, while Gaston is a run of the mill villain, it is really the flawed character of the Beast which really caused the castle to become bewitched in the first place. Belle becomes the catalyst by which the Beast learns to surpass his own limits and become a better person. Without Belle, the Beast’s soul would not have stirred. Again, another great message on the power women can have in men’s lives and for inspiring REAL change.
Also, while they are not the protagonists of the film, the lionesses in Lion King are all strong characters. And here too, the lionesses continue to fulfill their responsibilities to the pride while all of the damage is done because of Simba’s selfishness, cowardice and inability to accept responsibility and Scar’s brutal ambition. In time, it is Nala’s discovery of Simba in exile and her insistence that he return to his duties that brings about the happy ending. Do you think Simba would have returned if Nala had never shown up? No way! He’d still be laying in the forest eating bugs and burping up at the stars. (Something I’ve seen a lot of guys resort to when there is not enough good woman energy in their lives!)
Finally there is Mulan. I hardly need to even summarize this. The entire film is about a woman who refuses to accept cultural norms and follows her own path.
So, while I agree that the Princess product line is a nasty one, I’m not sure I want to paint all of Disney’s films as springing from the same source.
Now that I’ve reread this post and my reply, I see that mssinglemama’s point is the real vital one. Its not that Disney makes stupid films, but rather that when I go to Target, I don’t exactly see an entire aisle dedicated to Mulan, Nala and Belle. That is a bummer.
Your life is so boring - and the fact you feel the need to share it is quite sad. Get off your computer and get a life. Then you’ll be too busy to bore complete strangers on the Internet who are looking for useful information.
Hey Chris, you looking for useful information? Here’s some. Follow your own advice and stop sharing your opinion. Of course, if you were ever to read this, it would mean you actually RETURNED to this “boring” site.
Jim - thanks for that b/c I haven’t see Mulan and it’s been too long since I’ve seen Beauty and the Beast, but you’re right … there are some good ones.
Here’s a thought - on Disney - why do most of the movies begin with a parent dying???? That one really drives me nuts too.
And don’t get me wrong - all little girls should feel like princesses, it’s just the fairytale ending, rather than the reality of love and of life. We’ve got to be realistic about it in order to have healthy, fulfilling relationships. And what about the movies out there that we watch as adults? Like - Knocked Up … so unrealistic, you know?
not sure how we missed this trend since Frances is 4 1/2, right where it should be hitting us, but she seems to be mostly oblivious to princesses–thank goodness. I hope it stays that way for a long, long time.
But then, her mother (me) doesn’t espouse any particularly princessy attitudes either. I can’t understand why anyone would want to be any kind of princess–an inherited role composed of dressing in ridiculous designer outfits and pretending to be a head of state while everyone else makes the decisions? No, thank you. Why would I want to have power because of who my parents are, or my husband is? It sounds awful.
I also can’t figure out why people want to have hairstyles they have to blow-dry every morning (wouldn’t they rather sleep?) or buy magazines whose express purpose is to make them dissatsfied with their lives–so–whatever I’m role-modeling for her is not princessy at all. And I think that helps.
Anyone remember that Belle was raised by a single dad? And Mulan was hard core.
Disney is the devil… I mean I know I am 5′10 all legs except of course for my 13 inch waist and 32D’s. Don’t forget my luscious cascading blonde hair sans any split ends… and in my spare time I like to sing about cleaning the dishes.
Oh and did I mention that birds dress me while mice wash my floor?
Aren’t Prince Charming’s supposed to be responsible, kind, charming, and sexy? If they aren’t, then why would anyone want them? I’m confused on that point.
I think maybe Disney princess films are to little girls like what chick flicks are to older women. I didn’t like Disney then, and I don’t like chick flicks now. It’s all fantasy–and I like real-world.
On another note, I think it would hard to side-step the princess-y culture these days. (Thank goodness I have a boy!) I’m impressed that Andrea has been able (that prbly sounds snarky, but it’s not). I went on a hunt for a friend’s daughter’s bday gift recently and EVERYTHING was pink princess puke. Gah! I ended up getting her a puzzle.
SWM …
The prince charmings in these movies are kind, charming and sexy - but it’s the whole fantasy thing. The lack of any reality. And you know, this extends to the adult movies most of us watch too. A bigger issue.
We just have to be realistic about love and so do our girls, so they don’t fall for the smooth, charmers - you know?
Sara … you’re funny. And yeah - go Belle’s dad.
Andrea … love your comment about magazines - by the time I’m done with one I feel like I just want more, and also feel very unattractive. Damn photo shopping.
My little B liked princess stuff for awhile, but I was very open with her about how silly it is that they keep waiting around for the prince. Did anyone see Enchanted? Because in that movie, the “princess” rescues her guy!!! We loved that one!
Interestingly, my roommate rented Enchanted over the weekend and I watched it with her. I kinda loved it, and I’m mildly embarrassed to admit it. There was excellent chemistry between Amy Adams and Patrick Dempsey, but what was really great was the fact that Disney made a SPOOF about the Prince Charming/Princess fairy tale. Nicely done. It was a bit over the top but definitely worth watching.
I think we’re too flawed as humans to have the fairy tale relationships, but we can certainly have awesome chemistry, intimacy, and honesty.
I can’t even tell you how many of my friend’s daughters have this stuff (me being the ‘token’ single - well, not married - friend). I don’t understand why the idea of a strong independant woman is not nourished as it was by my mother who raised two of us 11 months apart - as a single parent.
Where’s the movie with the single parent who works thier arse off trying to provide and everyone learning how the real world works?
riiiiight, wouldn’t make any money, and then we’d have nothing to complain about when our ’spouses’ don’t bring us diamond studs and lavish us in gifts after a hard day at work, ha!
PS - great story about the older guy… my last long term was 16 years my senior and that was always my joke! great guy, but sometimes there is such a thing as too much of an age difference
Loved this one so much, I had to write a whole post to reply. Hope you check it out when you have time.
http://breakfastfordinner.net/?p=17
Loving the site more every time I visit. Keep up the good work, Queen of Sexy Mom Bloggers.
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I used to love the idea of the “fairytale love” but in my ripe old age of 28, and two kids and too many failed relationships later, I think I’ve finally realized that fairytale love is just that, a fairytale.
Check out this song…it’s just about perfect!
Fairytale by Sara Bareilles