Happy Father’s Day, Daddy (!)

by mssinglemama on June 13, 2008

1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristen is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristen, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristen for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristen, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristen is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristen, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristen for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristen, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
1. Tell toddler you are going to make him toast for breakfast.

2. Sit him on the counter or the table so he can’t move or run away.

3. When toddler says, “Toeeess?” answer with, “Toes??? You want to eat my toes???!!! NOOOOOO! Please, please, please don’t eat my toes!!!”

4. Jump up and down acting like your toes are in jeopardy of being eaten. When toddler takes a break from cracking up, say, “So, you want to eat toast right?”

5. Toddler will say, “No! Toes!!!!”

6. Repeat jumping and protesting. Remember to look like you’re genuinely in fear for your toes. Hide toes under table or hold them in hands. Toddler will laugh until he spits up his toast.

Also see How to Get Toddler into the Bath.

How do you make your kids laugh? Really laugh…
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristin is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristin, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristin for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristin, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristen is linking to this blog from hers! Hello everyone!

I thought I would give this topic it’s own post so that the controversy isn’t trickling all over the place in other posts.

Here’s the issue that’s got everyone in a tizzy (or maybe just me). Kristen, a working single mom, wears a wedding ring during corporate sales calls to make the right impression. God forbid they find out she is a single mom:

The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product….It’s not that I lie and say that I’m married, but the ring creates the assumption that I am… I don’t wonder whether my prospective customer thinks I have left my kid at home with an incompetent babysitter while I flit around the Pacific Coast in pinstripes. The bottom line of my job is that I need to make people like me. If they like and trust me, they’ll be more likely to buy my product.

Maybe I’m living in a bubble, but I’ve never been the recipient of any nasty stares because my wedding finger is bare. What gives? Why hasn’t anyone ever given me the “You’re a single mom” stink eye? And when I say never, I mean never. Because I’d remember it, I’m sure an experience like that would leave a mark. Maybe I have been but am just oblivious to them.

So these stereotypes are out there? Still? In corporate board rooms? Weird.

If I put a ring on in meetings will it advance my career? That was a hypotehtical question (hi, co-workers) because I’d never, ever do it. Kristen and I are clearly different people and we all have our personal choices. This isn’t an attack on her, this isn’t a judgement. I just think we need to talk about this…

Why do some of us, in this day and age, feel compelled to hide the fact that we are single moms in business situations?

Has being a single mom ever hurt your career?

Has anyone ever said anything to you in public or in a work meeting to put you down because you are as single parent?

P.S. I’ve officially apologized to Kristen for saying this all made me want to puke. Didn’t mean to offend or attack anyone. And Kristen, I hope you have a fantastic weekend with your new man! I noticed you were looking for something to call him, I prefer “Man Person.” It’s what I called my first post-divorce boyfriend.
In 1989, my father sent me this letter while on a business trip in San Francisco.

Dear Alaina!

This is a letter for you from your father who loves you from here to heaven and back, which simply is a distance that no person can even begin to imagine, until that person has been as fortunate as I have been in being a part of your creation and your life.

Let’s always be honest and truthful with each other so we can always be close and not be separated.

Your only,

Dad

Ten years later he died of cancer.

My five brothers and sisters and I, our mother – we were shattered. Our family torn to the core. We’re still picking up the pieces. He was our rock. He was humble, modest, reserved but filled with joy and love for the world and for life. As a doctor he healed people for a living, but he also healed their souls with his eyes, his understanding and his compassion.

When I first started this blog, a brilliant commenter Tim Chard suggested I write a letter to my father. I had written about my fears of commitment, my fears of loss. Tim asked me if my father would want me to carry guilt and fear. So, here it is… it’s long, I can’t read it again because my eyes are flooded. So bear with the long form, this is just what came out.

Dad,

You wouldn’t believe it … you wouldn’t believe how beautiful Benjamin is! How smart he is … and he has your smile! He does … his eyes cinch up like yours did when he smiles really hard. I wish you were here to throw him up in the air, tickle him like crazy and teach him about the world.

Remember the thunderstorm in the lake? When you woke me up in the middle of the night so we could go swimming in Lake Michigan, with the lightening off in the distance and the rain pouring over our heads? I wonder about that all of the time. Why didn’t you just go alone? Why bother waking up your 12-year-old daughter, who probably needed her sleep. You woke me up because, as with everything else, you wanted me to experience that thunderstorm. You wanted me to face my fears. And you wanted to enjoy it with me. I’ll never forget it…ever.

I can still feel the water, I can still see you jumping through the waves, diving and then popping back up shouting – that shout – you know the one. The one where you sounded like you were completely exhaling all of your frustrations, all of your stress. And then we were jumping around – swimming in the dark. I knew nothing would happen to me, because you were there to protect me

You’re gone now. I know you are. But I can feel you. I see you in Benjamin’s eyes. He sees you in mine, and we love you so, so much. It would be easier if you were here, maybe … but in a way, all of this – this single mom thing – this life thing – seems easier because I watched you suffer with that cancer. That evil, evil cancer. Everything else pales in comparison on the emotional pain threshold compared to the way you had to suffer. And the pain I felt after you were ripped out of our lives.

I still love you from here to heaven and back … and I try to be strong. I do. But I’m just your little girl inside. All I want sometimes is for you to just tell me that everything will be okay. For you to give me a big bear hug, or for you to even yell at me and tell me when I’m wrong. Sometimes I forget that you’re gone. It happens once every few years. Something happens, something silly and my brain thinks for a split second, a nano second that I should call you. And then I remember that you’re gone. But that second is so blissful.

I want you to know that I tell Benjamin about you all of the time. I tell him that he has you … and that because he has you, he has a special angel looking out for him. You are an angel. You were an angel. But you were also the most amazing father anyone ever could have dreamed of having.

You weren’t scared of anything. You just lived. The most important lesson you ever taught me was to love and appreciate life, and you taught me that long before you died. You knew it all along. I’m just so sorry you had to suffer like that. And don’t feel bad for being so pissed at the end. I would have been too. I just want you to know that you still inspire me, every day.

And I can still see your smile, I can still hear your voice and I can still feel your hugs. You’re still with me. Don’t ever go.

Happy Father’s Day Daddy!

P.S. I love how you put an exclamation point after my name!

{ 2 comments }

Jaden April 17, 2009 at 6:18 pm

*sniffle*

That is all.

Erika April 17, 2009 at 9:42 pm

My Daddy used to write me letters as well. I have them all. He died of lung cancer in 2005. I miss him.

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