So this single parent thing … it just gets harder doesn’t it?
I’ve been put in my place lately by those single parents out there who have been at it far longer than I have. Tisk, tisk, you young newbie. You think you don’t need a husband? What about intimacy? Oh yeah – that. Well, he does have a point.
You’re not allowed to criticize the personal choice of another single parent with a word like “puke”, that’s juvenile. Yeah, okay, right again and point taken. Shame on me. I could go on.
I want to take a minute to try to explain something, to try to explain where I’m coming from because this blog is now – I think – bigger than I ever expected it would be. Somehow I’ve become the strong “opinionated” one of our little corner of the single parent blogosphere (there are more corners I’m sure we have yet to discover).
I’m not trying to be a matriarch of our “cause.” Do we even have time for a cause?
I’m just a girl spewing my thoughts – not to the internet – but to you. You’re not all walking cyborgs, you are people and you’re reading this stuff and lately that’s been scaring me. What if I don’t know what in the hell I’m talking about? As some of you have been very quick to point out.
I’m single and because I have a child that makes me a single parent, but I’m not an expert. I do know a few things for certain. The first is that Benjamin is my everything…a living and breathing piece of my soul. The second is that being a single parent is one of the hardest things I’ve ever, ever done. So yes, it does define me in a way. Single parenthood can be all-consuming. We are on our own – financially and emotionally. And you may or may not know this but I am really alone.
I don’t have a mom and dad right down the street. I don’t have a brother popping by every week to check on us. Benjamin’s father has him for 36 hours a week, never any more than that. Outside of my co-workers, I don’t have any adults in my life on a daily basis. So from time to time, I go a little crazy. It goes with the territory.
I’m not sure where this is going. I just wanted to apologize for offending any (or all) of you as of late. Please keep in mind – the thoughts you read here are just that – thoughts and they are my own. I might sound like an authority on the subject of single parent dating, but I’m not.
I’m just a walking and living experiment – learning, like the rest of us, as I go. You’re invited to follow along, but please, don’t ever take anything I say too seriously. This is my hobby, my outlet and my refuge. I don’t want it to turn into an ugly mosh pit. And I am truly sorry for egging that mosh pit on sometimes – but some of you really piss me off (and that, is a good thing – keeps me on my toes).
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MSM…as you point out, it is your hobby, your outlet and your refuge. You have chosen to share it with us, for whatever reason, and in doing so, have made a lot of people feel a little less like they are the only people struggling with the daily issues that face us as single parents. You’re contributing something to a lot of people….thank you. You’re entitled to your opinions, your convictions and passions, and shame on some of the people here for attacking you for expressing them. We are all judged enough, by the perfect families we have to interact with every day, by the schools that aren’t able to keep the perspective of a child being raised in a single parent household, or in two households in mind when planning Family Tree projects that single out families that are different. This should be a place where, even when someone has a different point of view, no one should be disrespectful. I don’t agree with everything you say, but I appreciate the insight you provide into another perspective on issues I face every day and respect that you hold your own and stick to your convictions.
Be well MSM!
Go girl. It is your blog, after all. You should feel the right to express whatever opinion you want. Vent away!
“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
*hugs, cuz I love you MSM.*
Don’t apologize for yourself. You are entitled to your own opinions. If someone doesn’t like the way you live your life they don’t need to read about it!
I find your honesty and confidence as a single mom to be very refreshing and I admire your strength as a single mom!
MsSingleMama, I’m a big fan and have been a long time. And I’m one of the people you are “pissed” at. My intimacy post was my post, it had nothing to do with you. It was a reaction to your sharing statistics that single women are fine without men. Well, as a man, I’m not fine without women. I admitted that on my blog yesterday, and a lot of single parents concurred.
As for judgements, I think there were several blogs on fire yesterday, not just yours, and judgements were flying from all corners, not just at you or from you. When fires spread, things get ugly.
As a fellow single mom, I enjoy reading your blog because I like hearing about your experience and your perspective. Just know that when you start speaking for other people (single moms shouldn’t wear wedding rings to work, single moms can do it all and don’t need husbands) some of those people might start talking back. A loaded topic will generate some loaded comments! And thanks for revealing a little bit more about yourself in this post. It helps me understand where you are coming from. And understanding each other is kind of the point of this whole thing, isn’t it? Keep it up!
I love that you speak your mind and have not doubted for a moment that Benjamin is your everything. And in general I am in passionate agreement with you.
You are very brave to share everything that you do in you blog! I think your blog is great. Don’t let others get you down, I know that’s easier said than done.
Please don’t apologize for being you
I love this blog as is!
I hope you don’t give a rats … to what a few people think. As is obvious from these replies and most other replies you receive on this blog: YOU ROCK!!!
Thanks for your thoughts. They are really great, good fun to read and helpful … and I am not even a parent!!!
You have helped me and many others by posting your experiences , thoughts, and feelings online. Please don’t censer yourself because you don’t want to create conflict. Your posts are thought provoking and we can relate to you. That is why people have strong opinions about what you write.
Thanks so much you guys … you’re all right. I won’t censor myself, ever. I just want everyone to know that I am not an expert, you know? But I’m definitely opinionated and I love you all for listening to my jibber jabber.
: )
XOXOXO