My Mini Bob Dylan

by mssinglemama on June 4, 2008

There are men, and then there are boys…

This weekend two boys (who shall remain unnamed) where sitting in my kitchen. I was hosting a mini after hours thing. So, I popped a pizza in the oven.

“I’m running outside, keep an eye on the pizza, okay?”

“What? What are we supposed to look for?” one of them asked.

I ignored it, assuming he was joking. Five minutes later I walked back inside and the oven was smoking. I flipped out. One thing about being a single mom with zero interest in boys…you don’t give a damn if they think you’re “uncool” or “bitchy” – especially if it’s late at night and you’ve had a few shots of tequila.

“What’s wrong with you guys? You seriously don’t know how to cook a frozen pizza?!!!”

Did they jump up to grab the pizza? No. They sat there defending themselves…they didn’t jump until the fire alarm went off – and even then, I had to tell them to go turn it off. Unbelievable.

These two boys are clearly far from becoming men, but that doesn’t mean they’re necessarily immature. Maturity is something that’s hard to put a finger on … and no matter what a boy or man’s age, his maturity level can run the gamut. The true measure of a man’s maturity is how he treats you, not whether or not he knows how to cook frozen pizza.

Enter Larry Bilotta’s Male Maturity Scale, he sent it to me after discovering my blog through the post, “Should I Leave My Husband?”. Usually reserved for married women trying to find out what makes their husband’s tick, Larry realized how useful this scale can be for dating single moms.

Here’s how it works – have four women, your friends, your family or even your guy’s ex-wife or girlfriend rate him on this scale. Why? Because your view could be clouded if you’re too close to him.

–The Male Maturity Scale by Larry Bilotta —

Baby Man

He wants his own way all of the time. You owe him his happiness. He owes you nothing. It all revovles around him. He’s obsessed with himself.

Kid Man

He can be nice sometimes but when bad feelings stroke, he can’t fight them off and becomes selfish, nasty and demanding. He may even give you the silent treatment.

Teen Man

He knows what’s right and wrong in a relationship but he can be swayed from doing what he knows he ought to do. The more bad feelings you have, the more bad feelings he gets.

Young Man

He wants to do the right thing for you most of the time but a nasty comment can get away from him now and then. He does apologize since he knows when he strayed from his promises.

Together Man

He loves you, is considerate of your feelings and your security. He thinks about what’s important to you above the demands of the rest of the world. It’s rare when he gets self centered but it does happen.

Mature Man

He’s strong in the issues of family. A man of steel who will defend you against all comers, yet a man of velvet who is considerate, thoughtful, great with kids and keeps his bad feelings under control. Never arrogant, always fun and a great listener who is easy to love

———————–

I’m thinking the Mature Man sounds ideal for us single moms … but what are the odds of finding a Mature Man who isn’t already snatched? Hmmm… let me know what you think – leave your comments and dish some dirt on your men or ex-men.

Larry is reading and will be available to give you one-on-one responses or if you’d like to contact him personally visit, Marriage Success Secrets.com.

[Photo Credit: The Sewing Bird]

There are men, and then there are boys…

This weekend two boys (who shall remain unnamed) where sitting in my kitchen. I was hosting a mini after hours thing. So, I popped a pizza in the oven.

“I’m running outside, keep an eye on the pizza, okay?”

“What? What are we supposed to look for?” one of them asked.

I ignored it, assuming he was joking. Five minutes later I walked back inside and the oven was smoking. I flipped out. One thing about being a single mom with zero interest in boys…you don’t give a damn if they think you’re “uncool” or “bitchy” – especially if it’s late at night and you’ve had a few shots of tequila.

“What’s wrong with you guys? You seriously don’t know how to cook a frozen pizza?!!!”

Did they jump up to grab the pizza? No. They sat there defending themselves…they didn’t jump until the fire alarm went off – and even then, I had to tell them to go turn it off. Unbelievable.

These two boys are clearly far from becoming men, but that doesn’t mean they’re necessarily immature. Maturity is something that’s hard to put a finger on … and no matter what a boy or man’s age, his maturity level can run the gamut. The true measure of a man’s maturity is how he treats you, not whether or not he knows how to cook frozen pizza.

Enter Larry Bilotta’s Male Maturity Scale, he sent it to me after discovering my blog through the post, “Should I Leave My Husband?”. Usually reserved for married women trying to find out what makes their husband’s tick, Larry realized how useful this scale can be for dating single moms.

Here’s how it works – have four women, your friends, your family or even your guy’s ex-wife or girlfriend rate him on this scale. Why? Because your view could be clouded if you’re too close to him.

–The Male Maturity Scale by Larry Bilotta —

Baby Man

He wants his own way all of the time. You owe him his happiness. He owes you nothing. It all revovles around him. He’s obsessed with himself.

Kid Man

He can be nice sometimes but when bad feelings stroke, he can’t fight them off and becomes selfish, nasty and demanding. He may even give you the silent treatment.

Teen Man

He knows what’s right and wrong in a relationship but he can be swayed from doing what he knows he ought to do. The more bad feelings you have, the more bad feelings he gets.

Young Man

He wants to do the right thing for you most of the time but a nasty comment can get away from him now and then. He does apologize since he knows when he strayed from his promises.

Together Man

He loves you, is considerate of your feelings and your security. He thinks about what’s important to you above the demands of the rest of the world. It’s rare when he gets self centered but it does happen.

Mature Man

He’s strong in the issues of family. A man of steel who will defend you against all comers, yet a man of velvet who is considerate, thoughtful, great with kids and keeps his bad feelings under control. Never arrogant, always fun and a great listener who is easy to love

———————–

I’m thinking the Mature Man sounds ideal for us single moms … but what are the odds of finding a Mature Man who isn’t already snatched? Hmmm… let me know what you think – leave your comments and dish some dirt on your men or ex-men.

Larry is reading and will be available to give you one-on-one responses or if you’d like to contact him personally visit, Marriage Success Secrets.com.

[Photo Credit: The Sewing Bird]
This weekend I was busying myself in the kitchen when I heard a harmonic melody pouring down the stairs. I shot up to Benjamin’s room like a bolt – just to catch it – and there he was, sitting cross legged jamming on his harmonica.

Tonight I put him in front of the iMac. Enjoy! I’m SO PROUD!

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Lauren June 4, 2008 at 8:12 pm

SO CUTE!

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Jessee June 4, 2008 at 9:00 pm

How awesome!!

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Alexis June 4, 2008 at 10:10 pm

Very very sweet

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valerie June 4, 2008 at 11:46 pm

He is so cute! It is great that he is expressing himself through music at such a young age. Good job!

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Domestic Diva June 5, 2008 at 12:31 am

awww, he is just adorable!

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modernsinglemomma June 5, 2008 at 1:34 am

He is a superstar already!
I can’t wait to see him and L jammin together sometime….grooving like this is what makes single motherhood rock! =)

More videos please!

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SingleWorkingMommy June 5, 2008 at 9:06 am

Harmonica! Sweet. And just think… those missing teeth help pass more air to the instrument. J/K… you know I love ya!

Son likes the drum. “Bang on drum? Bang on drum?” is his constant chorus. And he’ll turn almost anything INTO a drum.

I see a lot of Execedrin in my future… 🙂

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SingleMomSeeking June 5, 2008 at 10:07 am

Love the clapping!!

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whatmenthink June 5, 2008 at 11:05 am

HAHAHHA He’s an adorable kid.

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littlemansmom June 5, 2008 at 11:29 am

Absolutely ADORABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He’s gonna be a heart-breaker…I tell ya!

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Shannon June 5, 2008 at 12:03 pm

I am such a sucker for kids with missing teeth. I was almost sad when B’s finally grew in (her chicklet teeth!). He’s postively fetching.

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Tonya June 5, 2008 at 12:04 pm

OH MY GOSH…

That is just about the cutest thing I have ever seen! Go Ben GO!

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Erin June 5, 2008 at 2:26 pm

Oh my goodness….if that isn’t the cutest thing I have seen all week….

ADORABLE! Thanks for sharing that!

(sidenote: just watched the Bob Dylan movie, “I am Not There” the other night – it was spectacular.)

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mssinglemama June 6, 2008 at 3:41 pm

It’s official – he is the cutest! God, I am so in love with my son, and yes, he’s definitely going to be a heart breaker. You guys should see his father!

Erin – I have been dying to see that! Thanks for the reminder and review.

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Cheryl June 8, 2008 at 7:12 pm

Omgoodness, that is the cutest thing EVER!

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Riku November 6, 2012 at 4:02 am

Wow, that’s great! Congrats!
here I’ve written about some of Dylan’s melodies in my single motherhood journey…http://mystorkhouse.blogspot.com/2012/11/my-october-moj-pazdziernik.html)
Lots of Love!!

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