Boys vs. Men

by mssinglemama on June 3, 2008

There are men, and then there are boys…

This weekend two boys (who shall remain unnamed) where sitting in my kitchen. I was hosting a mini after hours thing. So, I popped a pizza in the oven.

“I’m running outside, keep an eye on the pizza, okay?”

“What? What are we supposed to look for?” one of them asked.

I ignored it, assuming he was joking. Five minutes later I walked back inside and the oven was smoking. I flipped out. One thing about being a single mom with zero interest in boys…you don’t give a damn if they think you’re “uncool” or “bitchy” – especially if it’s late at night and you’ve had a few shots of tequila.

“What’s wrong with you guys? You seriously don’t know how to cook a frozen pizza?!!!”

Did they jump up to grab the pizza? No. They sat there defending themselves…they didn’t jump until the fire alarm went off – and even then, I had to tell them to go turn it off. Unbelievable.

These two boys are clearly far from becoming men, but that doesn’t mean they’re necessarily immature. Maturity is something that’s hard to put a finger on … and no matter what a boy or man’s age, his maturity level can run the gamut. The true measure of a man’s maturity is how he treats you, not whether or not he knows how to cook frozen pizza.

Enter Larry Bilotta’s Male Maturity Scale, he sent it to me after discovering my blog through the post, “Should I Leave My Husband?”. Usually reserved for married women trying to find out what makes their husband’s tick, Larry realized how useful this scale can be for dating single moms.

Here’s how it works – have four women, your friends, your family or even your guy’s ex-wife or girlfriend rate him on this scale. Why? Because your view could be clouded if you’re too close to him.

–The Male Maturity Scale by Larry Bilotta —

Baby Man

He wants his own way all of the time. You owe him his happiness. He owes you nothing. It all revovles around him. He’s obsessed with himself.

Kid Man

He can be nice sometimes but when bad feelings stroke, he can’t fight them off and becomes selfish, nasty and demanding. He may even give you the silent treatment.

Teen Man

He knows what’s right and wrong in a relationship but he can be swayed from doing what he knows he ought to do. The more bad feelings you have, the more bad feelings he gets.

Young Man

He wants to do the right thing for you most of the time but a nasty comment can get away from him now and then. He does apologize since he knows when he strayed from his promises.

Together Man

He loves you, is considerate of your feelings and your security. He thinks about what’s important to you above the demands of the rest of the world. It’s rare when he gets self centered but it does happen.

Mature Man

He’s strong in the issues of family. A man of steel who will defend you against all comers, yet a man of velvet who is considerate, thoughtful, great with kids and keeps his bad feelings under control. Never arrogant, always fun and a great listener who is easy to love


I’m thinking the Mature Man sounds ideal for us single moms … but what are the odds of finding a Mature Man who isn’t already snatched? Hmmm… let me know what you think – leave your comments and dish some dirt on your men or ex-men.

Larry is reading and will be available to give you one-on-one responses or if you’d like to contact him personally visit, Marriage Success

[Photo Credit: The Sewing Bird]

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  1. Man up fellas…why? Because you’re the man, damn it.

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