by mssinglemama on June 30, 2008
It’s not easy to meet good men, especially for busy single moms.
I barely have time to shower, let alone go man hunting. We can’t go out three nights a week like our childless counter parts and if we do meet a man in the coffee shop, at the park or on a fluke night out we usually have to wait at least one week before we can squeeze in a date.
A single mom, so desperate for a “prince charming” (her words) is actually auctioning herself and her home off on eBay and Craigslist. The price? $500,000. Deven Trabosh, 42, has two daughters ages 14 and 21. After years of being single she’s thrown in the towel and has decided to sell herself, a bonus to buying her house in Florida.
“I’m struggling…I don’t want to lose my house and I want to find somebody. So I came up with this dream plan because I’ve always dreamt about being a fairytale princess,” she says. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on June 29, 2008
This was so hard! My fear this week has been trying to choose a winner of my Flatten Your Fear & Win a Flat Iron Contest.
1st Place Fear
“Will my daughter love my ex and his new family more than me?” by Pisces Hanna
Hanna won because her fear is one most of us can relate to but it’s also a fear many of us would never have the guts to write down. Here’s an excerpt for her post.
As soul-crushing and vomit-inducing as it was to hear “I just never really loved you”, it was an even bigger test to see the one whose ring you wore on your finger slide so easily into a new relationship. A relationship that involved another (younger, blonder) single mom and her two kids.
The first time all three of us met, it wasn’t pretty. He and She huddled together on the couch, blowing smoke in my direction while they looked over my parenting plan, scowling. She told him that my plan was “bullshit” and that he shouldn’t agree to it. He nodded in agreement. It was official. I hated her. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on June 28, 2008
Dating as a single mom is hard to describe to anyone other than my fellow single parents. Hence this blog and my slew of single mom and dad friends. Without them and without you, I’d be lost.
So here’s another dating tip from me to you … I think if you start practicing this immediately your love life will improve.
But first … some background on how I discovered the power of dating karma - back in my wild single days I wouldn’t think twice about blowing a guy off. Never calling him back or being dishonest with him about my intentions seemed like part of the game. “All is fair in love and war,” I used to say.
I had been hurt and so I would hurt back. It seemed fair. But now I see clearly that I was a coward on many levels. I didn’t have the courage or the maturity to tell men the truth. To this day I regret the pain that my dishonesty must have caused. Because each of those men probably went out and did the same thing to a woman they were dating.
I call it dating karma.
If you are dishonest with someone, cheat on someone or lie to them - pick your poison - it eventually comes full circle. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on June 27, 2008
1. Julie and Zoe are on their way over. We’re headed to a music festival. Last Monday night we both went out (coincidentally our exes both have our kids on Monday nights). We were eating out when the Architect called me … and not her. I didn’t call him back and we spent most of the evening pondering why men are such idiots sometimes. But now she says she’s hooked on asking them out instead of waiting.
2. I’m flying to San Francisco for 4th of July weekend to meet three of my new blogging friends Rachel Sarah (Single Mom Seeking), Morgan Siler (i Heart Single Parents) and Jim Everson (Depot Dad). I’m freaking out with excitement to get a break, to see San Francisco again and to meet all three of them - each of whom has touched my life in so many ways through their friendships. Finally we’ll all get to meet face to face! I’ll be reporting back with some fresh videos and pictures.
3. Benjamin has flushed the toilet three times now (I’m sure my toilet paper roll died a slow death to make this post possible) and Julie just pulled up. So….
Cheers my single parents! XOXO to all of you.
P.S.
I’ll be announcing the flat iron winner Sunday night.
by mssinglemama on June 26, 2008
Just a little over 24 hours left to bring out your fears to win a $200 flat iron!
I don’t know how I’m going to pick a winner. If you haven’t read the entries, get busy. Some will make you cry, others will make you laugh. All in all, I’d say it’s been a good week for bringing out the fears.
And because we’re all clearly afraid of death I had to post this video, Monty Python and the Holy Grail - quite possibly one of the greatest movies of all time.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grbSQ6O6kbs]
Contest deadline is Friday at midnight (PST). Enter here.
by mssinglemama on June 25, 2008
The first question most single parents ask when they finally get back out there on the dating scene is, “C
an I even date someone without a kid?”
The challenges to dating someone without a child can be daunting. Will they ever understand your life? And when they do - will they run away screaming in fear once they realize that parenting never ends? It can also be irritating to date childless people.
They often lack genuine empathy for your situation, talk about stuff that just seems pointless and annoy you with stories about how hard their lives are. But, as one of my friends said recently, “You can’t help who you fall in love with.”
When I left my ex-husband and Benjamin was just four-months-old I couldn’t imagine anyone joining our lives but they did and the relationships didn’t end because I’m a single mom, they ended because child or not we weren’t a good match.
Here are some things you can do to fan the flames of a romance with the single and childless. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on June 25, 2008
This week, I had absolutely zero blog surfing time. Which means I can’t give you a nifty blog recap this week so it’s up to you single parent bloggers.
Leave your link and a brief description of your post. Shamless self-promotion is STRONGLY encouraged.
And a note to my readers: I am reading every single one of your comments, I just haven’t had time to respond to every one. Just didn’t want you to think I’m not pondering, digesting and loving each and every one of your comments. I’m TOO damn busy. Darn it. Someone slow this train down please.
In the meantime, please leave the links to the best of the single parent blogosphere.
by mssinglemama on June 23, 2008
Some things never change …
My basement had a minor flood (not complaining because my little brother lives in Iowa City and has been sandbagging for weeks). Anyhow - while sorting through boxes of wet stuff I found my old journal and stumbled across this entry.
I was leaving Texas after six months there as a single 23-year-old and a morning radio co-host. Needless to say - the cowboys were plentiful and so were the lessons learned. I wrote them down, but didn’t follow them.
September 16, 2003
Lessons I learned here in Texas:
1. Don’t sleep with men - it messes with their heads. They’re better as friends.
2. Don’t date four men at once. You forget who’s who.
3. Hang out with everyone but do NOT trust everyone.
4. Don’t drink too much around co-workers - unless - no, just never. Because most of them are sober.
But sometimes not following the rules leads to little miracles, like meeting a French-Canadian, marrying him and then creating the cutest little boy on Earth who happens to be the best thing that ever happened to me.
[Photo Credit: Yummy Cowboys]
by mssinglemama on June 21, 2008
We all have fears.
If you read my blog, you know I’ve got plenty. Namely my fear of commiting to the wrong guy, my fear of my ex-husband watching our son solo for 36 hours a week or his absence from our lives. I like to think I’ve come leaps and bounds in the past year in conquering them, but I still have a ways to go.
Now it’s your turn to step into the confessional.
Tell me about something that shakes you to your core. Maybe you’re afraid of snakes, men, other parents at the playground, your boss, pickles and bologna, your teenager, asking men out … I don’t care what it is. Describe your fear and then tell me how you are going to conquer it. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on June 20, 2008
Benjamin has this nasty little habit of calling every man in sight “Daddy.”
I’m sure if his father had a greater presence in his life this wouldn’t be the case. I’ve convinced myself, actually, that he does this because I’m a single mom. It’s just killing me. It happens in the grocery store, at the park, on the street, in the car, at his day care and in the coffee shop.
I’ve tried correcting him.
“No, honey, that’s just a man. A man, not a daddy.” And when it’s someone we know, “No, Benjamin that’s not Daddy that’s our neighbor, Ted.”
But to no avail. It’s so bad actually that when I see a man walking toward us on the sidewalk my body actually tenses up. Uh-oh. Here it comes.
“Daddy! Daddy!” He shouts, “Hi, Daaaaddeeeeeee!”
The poor, unsuspecting men usually smile and give Benjamin a big Hello. Then they probably go home and can’t sleep with their girlfriends that night.
Does this happen to anyone else? [click to continue…]
