by mssinglemama on May 25, 2008
UPDATE: It’s all better now. I love you Brad.
Many of you may not even have noticed – but my site is slightly messed up right now.
It’s my fault. I got ambitious and messed around with my CSS Stylesheet. I chose to do this on a weekend when, Brad, my CSS and WordPress Consultant is out in the boonies on a camping trip. Anyway, there you have it – no tabs along with errant colors and post titles. Sorry my site temporarily looks ugly. Feel like I have a gigantic pimple on my nose or something.
Thanks for your patience.
by mssinglemama on May 25, 2008
- Tell toddler his or her microscopic plastic monkey wants to ride in a boat. Hint: Make monkey whisper in your ear. Act alarmed and sad when plastic monkey tells you he’s never, ever been in a boat before.
- Ask toddler if he or she knows where the monkey can find a boat.
- Remind toddler of the toy boat in the bath tub.
- Bonus: tell toddler the monkey also wants to help wash his or her hair!
- Toddler will lead you by the hand to the tub, his or her jaw will hang open upon the realization that small plastic monkeys can whisper in Mommy’s ear.
Photo Evidence: Sorry it’s blurry, I was giggling.
See the little monkey???
He’s there, in the center of the white thing. HILARIOUS. Benjamin would check on him every few minutes, just to make sure the monkey was having a fine time in his boat.
by mssinglemama on May 24, 2008
Back by popular demand, Single Mama Beauty Tips!
One of the sexiest things about single moms (for the guys) and one of the most trying (for us) is the fact that we are on top of it … beauty wise. But it’s not easy – and there’s nothing worse than dragging a screaming toddler through the beauty section only to bring the product home and find out it sucks.
Talk about guilt. You’ve wasted time and money. So here’s another tip.
How to Get Gorgeous Hair – (for real).
The Challenge: After my pregnancy, my hair lost it’s luster and transformed from thick and curly to thin and flat. Enough to make even the strongest of single moms sob herself to sleep.
The Solution: Lush’s Cynthia Sylvia Stout shampoo, Lush’s American Cream conditioner and the FHI Black Turbo Hair Dryer.
Side Effects: Constant smelling and touching of hair, could be annoying to people around you.
If you haven’t discovered Lush yet, get to your nearest Macy’s pronto, or visit their website. Their products are all-natural, never tested on animals and most actually have expiration dates because the ingredients are so fresh. This shampoo and conditioner has seriously transformed my hair. First of all, it smells delicious FOR DAYS. And secondly, my hair is thick again and shiny again – just like it used to be! And after two years of thinking my hair was a lost cause, you can imagine why I’m so ecstatic about this. [Tip: only use it every other day because it's a bit heavy, you don't need much.]
The trial size is $8.75, start with that to make sure you love it because the larger bottles are more expensive. I’ve been using my trial sizes for over a month and they’re not even half way finished.
After realizing that hair is worth an investment (I had never spent more than $6.00 on shampoo before in my life) I decided to retire my old hair dryer for a brand new salon dryer (on the advice of my stylist). I had been showering at night just to avoid drying my hair because my old dryer left it frazzled, dry and frizzy. The FHI Black Turbo kicks ass. Find it here on Misikko, based in Philadelphia, the website offers a plethera of the latest and greatest hairstyling tools at a steep discount. For example, the FHI Turbo is normally $195.00 but it’s only $129.99 at Misikko. And they also have great deals on flat irons and ceramic flat irons
Anything else I should know about my hair care? Please enlighten me. Leave hair beauty tips or any others in the comment field.
If you missed it, Single Mama Beauty Tip #1: Tan Towels
by mssinglemama on May 22, 2008
I would like to introduce you to a phone.
That thing with numbers. You push them. Then you talk to the person on the other end, and if it’s a girl you’re asking out for the very first time you make the call at a reasonable hour – ask her questions about herself, yada, yada – find a mutual meeting spot and set a date. You DO NOT SEND A TEXT MESSAGE.
If I were 15, it might be okay. But I’m 29! And I want to date a man, not a boy.
Remember the guy who kept texting me? I was so annoyed I texted him to call me the next time. Five days later, not phone call and then – another text. At this point the Dane had landed and the guy didn’t have shot in hell, but this is still funny.
Here’s how it ended.
Five days later … another text!
His Text: What are you doing this weekend?
My Text: Going to Athens.
His Text: Ha! See ya there.
My Text: Which festival are you going to?
No response.
And then late that night, while I’m falling asleep… my phone rings. It’s him! What??? I send it to voice mail. Then it rings again! And he leaves another voice mail. Two voice mails. The next morning I listen to them. [click to continue…]
by mssinglemama on May 21, 2008
Have a wicked sense of humor.
One week ago I told Prince Charming To Kiss My Ass. And three days later, the Blogger Gods dumped one on my doorstep. And then five days later, they took him away.
Thanks.
Thanks a lot. Nice way to torture a poor, lonely single mom. I wasn’t lonely before he got here, I was just fine – trucking along my merry little way. And then – poof – there was a man here, in my apartment, cooking, cleaning up, playing with Benjamin, letting me rest, making me laugh, annoying me (just a little) and then looking at me like I was a queen.
What in the hell was that? And how do I forget that it ever happened?
P.S.
I’m sure the said loneliness is just a temporary side effect of having a man suddenly thrust into my life. Should be back to normal soon. And I would write more, but I’m exhausted. But I will give this story the credit it’s due … soon. In the meantime, I’ll be pondering simple twists of fate and catching up on my sleep.
What happens when fate throws you for a loop? I usually just ride it out … and hang on tight, but I never let go of the steering wheel. Us single moms don’t have that luxury.
