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How to Date a Single Mom, Part 3

by mssinglemama on May 29, 2008

Thomas, aka “the Dane”, started reading this blog long before his visit. And this morning, I found this in my inbox - a guest blog entry from Thomas on his experience with Benjamin and I.

For the men, this is the perfect addition to my series on How to Date a Single Mom. And for the single moms, here is proof that not all men run away screaming at the idea of dating a single mom (why? because we rock and so do our kids).

Here’s Thomas’ version of our long weekend:

Stepping out of the car in front of the house Benjamin came running towards me, “Daddy!, Daddy!”


Ed note: Benjamin calls every man “Daddy”


You can probably imagine my surprise. Being called “Daddy” by a boy you haven’t seen before – sounds actually like a nightmare. But it took a lot of pressure off of my shoulders. I didn’t have to worry about whether Benjamin would like me or not – a major concern of mine before coming. Instead I dropped my bags and started playing with him. This was followed by the warm welcome by Alaina whom I hadn’t seen in seven years.

However, she came in second at this point! And this turned out to be the same way I was going to feel during the next five days. Benjamin was of course the number one priority. I had never experienced this before, so it took me a little while to get used to – being left in the middle of a conversation, a movie or something else because of a cry or an unusual sound from upstairs. This was perhaps the biggest challenge during my visit. Accepting to be second.

It was also difficult for me to know when Benjamin had crossed the line. We all have our different ideas of how to raise a kid and I had to find hers. This meant that I had a hard time knowing when to react on his cries and when not to.

These things aside, the five days were great. I loved being part of a family. I loved being able to spoil a mom by helping out around the house, cooking and by going shopping so she could have some more time with Benjamin.

Seeing her face light up with appreciation was the best and it showed me that it is still true that helping others make you happy and that the little things really do matter!

Being part of this family was addictive, though, and it was very difficult leaving. So now I can’t wait until I once again step out of a car – somewhere in this world – and have a little kid run towards me crying “Daddy!, Daddy!”


Now, how sweet is that? Can’t wait to see you in August Thomas! And if you missed the others…

How to Date a Single Mom, Part 1

How to Date a Single Mom, Part 2

How to Date a Single Mom, Part 4

[Photo: Thomas and Benjamin enjoying the sunny deck at Grandma's]

Fast Forward a few months … and read about my trip to visit Thomas.