The Great Dane

by mssinglemama on May 20, 2008

He had to knock down my door.

Well, not literally, but thanks to a visit from Thomas, my friend from Denmark, this single mom was “forced” to spend five days straight with a man.

And imagine, being a single man, visiting a long lost friend from college who now has a two year old.

Most men, I’d imagine, might run away screaming. But Thomas, as he put it, realized instantly that with a single mom there are no rules and no superficiality. And he embraced it.

Having a true friend around for five days – someone to grab the stroller out of the trunk, play with Benjamin, make me dinner, bring me chocolates, tell me that I’m an amazing mother and make me laugh – has my head spinning.

It is possible.

Just like with Kris, who quickly adapted to the single mom thing, there are men out there who can and will make your life easier, because they love you both. For a single mom who usually has help in small doses, having five days straight of friendship and support was long over due.

Last night he said, “Thanks for taking care of me.”

“No,” I said, “Thanks for taking care of me.”

Thomas loved it too, more on his experience later. Now it’s off to the airport for a very sad good-bye.

UPDATE: A few weeks later I bought a plane ticket to visit Thomas. Read about it here.

If you liked this post, read this one:

Single Moms and the Men Who Love Us

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

shannon May 20, 2008 at 9:16 am

That picture is WAY too cute. And I admit it is possible to have someone to help you out. Even possible to have that someone to love. But it is so not what I had before I became jaded and way less naive. Five years alone with my baby girl taught me that no matter what…it’s her and I.


kelly007 May 20, 2008 at 10:15 am

Um, HELLO!!! Your Denmark friend looks like he is gorgeous.

Can’t wait to hear more.


littlemansmom May 20, 2008 at 10:22 am

if you take a peek at my blog you’ll see my blurb on UB…one of the ‘good ones’.

I have a dear friend who is/was a single mom of 2. She met…and is marrying one of the ‘good ones’. He has accepted her children whole heartedly as his own and hopes to have more with her. He has looked after her kids, he has taken them out individually to encourage a bond, he has moved into her tiny appartment so that the kids did not have to be re-located during the school year, he cooks, he cleans, he adores them unconditionally…….he IS one of the good ones….


SingleMomSeeking May 20, 2008 at 10:40 am

What a sweet treat for you two!!


mssinglemama May 20, 2008 at 4:32 pm

Shannon – I know! I’m the same way, that’s why it was nice to have a man just hang out for the ride and help!

Kelly – yes, he is indeed gorgeous!

Tracy (little man’s mom) – that story is amazing – very inspiring.


ModernSingleMomma May 20, 2008 at 6:20 pm

An amazing damsel like yourself, deserves a Great Dane! I’m so happy to hear you had a magical 4 days…
isn’t it amazing to have an encounter with a man that reminds you just how enchanting love combined with friendship can be!!?


dadshouse May 20, 2008 at 7:49 pm

Isn’t it great to have someone around? My last super serious girlfriend lived in LA, and I’m in the bay area, so we’d visit each other for a week at a time. Wow…

Does your Dane have a sister? (hint hint)


Alexis May 20, 2008 at 7:51 pm

Thank you for that. I have been been thinking lately that I didn’t know if it is possible to have an actual man love me and be a part of my new life with my little dude. I know it will be hard to find…but AAAHHHH! to actually have someone make me dinner, laugh, and tell me I’m wonderful, and be a true. friend..whoa- you are a lucky lady! There is hope!


mssinglemama May 20, 2008 at 9:29 pm

Modern Momma … yes, what a reminder. Like a ton of bricks. I’m cursing the blogging gods, shaking my head and just sitting here going – what in the hell was that? Lovely, that’s what it was.

No, David – no sister…sorry!

So yes, Alexis … yes, definitely men can become a part of your lives. It’s happened before too … men really do fall for single moms. Read more about it here:


Lori May 21, 2008 at 12:48 am

I just happened to find your blog recently and wanted to say I enjoy your writing. I was a single mom of 2 when I hooked up with my second husband…all for the wrong reasons…to find a father for my kids…totally WRONG…3 more kids later we divorced and found myself a single mom again. Although my kids were older, it was still very hard because my kids were very protective of me and didn’t like most of the men I dated. I had to learn to love myself and be okay with being alone and not willing to settle for anything less then the best. Two and half years ago I met a wonderful man who accepted me as a mom and we will be married two years this July. All of my kids love him…he was definetly worth waiting for!


Tonya May 21, 2008 at 10:49 am

Wow. That is one of the reasons I fell for my soldier. He totally wanted to become part of us, not just be with me, and it made a huge difference.

It is possible. Thanks for the reminder!


Anna May 21, 2008 at 1:36 pm

I totally agree and got lucky to have an unexpected man in my life like that the last year. My roommate that we found randomly ended up bonding with my son and I like no other man has. He would make coffee for me in the morning, give back rubs and read to me all the while enjoying eating string cheese and having an exciting evening of building legos with my seven year old. We were not romantic, but what a treat to find a guy who loves you for just what you are and wants to be a part of your crazy single mom life. Glad you got a break that is totally deserved! Cheers to your site I am a new fan.


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