Comments on: Need to save your marriage? Talk to Mort.

By: working it out 3 years later

working it out 3 years later — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 23:21:22 +0000

Struggling….

I am a living testimony that Mort’s concepts work and make a difference. Hang in there!

3 or so years ago I found Mort online, read his book and took a DEEP look at myself, my habits, my faults and started to take actions to change our “dance”.

Everyone gets in patterns. Recognize the negative ones and your world can change.
We have made huge progress following Morts advice.

I hope you have made progress by now but it definitely requires time and deep processing. If you follow Morts ideas and keep reveiwing your materials, you will be WAY better off than filing for divorce!!

Best of luck

By: strugling

strugling — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 01:15:57 +0000

I just stared the program i mean JUST started. My husband left and filed for divorce, we have two young boys. He agreed to do the program with me even though I did sign up for the Lone Ranger program because I didn’t think h would do it with me.
I don’t know if it’ll work, it is a bit pricey but right now i have a $5000 bill from an attorney so $400 it’s a whole lot cheaper than $500.
I would really like to meet people who have done the program other than the ones who are on the website.

Anyone out there??

By: Save Your Marriage

Save Your Marriage — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 20:25:53 +0000

Let’s face it, you loved the person you’ve found… you married them, right?! The key is to fall in love again. In Mr. Fertel’s office, we get calls and emails all day from people who’ve been told by their spouse, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you…” Mort’s Marriage Fitness Program teaches you how to be IN LOVE again. For more information, visit http://www.marriagefitness1.com. Don’t give up!

By: whatmenthink

whatmenthink — Tue, 20 May 2008 05:53:35 +0000

I think couples counseling can help you communicate, but it can’t help you fall in love. I think the key to a successful relationship is falling in love, and not stopping.

By: polisny

polisny — Tue, 20 May 2008 03:08:50 +0000

To start, I think people have their own reasons for doing things. I agree that a great many people wont at all even think of seeking ‘professional’ advice, and numerous for very different reasons. It’s a hard thing to generalize counselling; quite like any profession. I think if we look at the service with the frame of mind “what function does it serve people?”, that it remains to be a service for reasons that, while perhaps not obvious, are at least on some level, reasonably and widely helpful.

I agree that this particular American hybrid of help is definitely so sounded as to stink of the numerous advertising devices found through television and media undone. His combination of the two simple words “fitness and marriage” is actually genius, if you think about how broad a group of people the phrase affects!. –Only in America will you find this combination of notions so well-worded.

A positive note for those seeking psychologists; I do think that if two people were morally based on an equally just cause, patient and honestly wanting of the same relation, if the same two people were in a relation that asked to be objectively sorted out and, only then were able to understand any variety of inaccuracies; that possibly they could untangle the creased and crinkled past.

I think that if two people are both willing to try counselling, that this is a pretty good sign, regardless of how generalized or pointless it may be considered to be.

Unfortunately though, I think a lot of relations die on account of very simple things, vs mere communicative problems–as most of us are too socially adept to lose our hearts because our tongues. Things like carelessness, sex, beauty, money, selfishness, foolishness, dishonesty, the changes of age, growth or time, and any of these intertwined with people who are not part of the relation. I think that in this way, yes… counselling is dump truck load of shit.

By: OneManThreeKids

OneManThreeKids — Mon, 19 May 2008 22:14:34 +0000

I think the counseling should be on the front end…not the back end. There are always things we can learn about ourselves and about others that will help us be successful in relationships. If you want to be good at something you need to invest it in it. Marriage is no different…to bad I made this revelation months after she filed. Counselors are supposed to know “how people work”…I know technology…we all have something we are good at…I know I needed some work on knowing me…he helped.

I would recommend the book Boundaries in Marriage. I use the principles I gained from this book in all relationships. Boundaries protect my sanity…

Communication and Respect…those two things have to be there and continue to be there otherwise all the counseling in the world won’t matter. IMHO

Next go round…”the right one for me” will desire counseling as much or more than I before we marry…if not…she may not be the one.

By: mssinglemama

mssinglemama — Mon, 19 May 2008 22:04:45 +0000

Funny b/c with Mort’s program you can actually sign up solo. You don’t need to get your husband in on it …

I just find it so comical that there’s a program called Marriage Fitness with special programs like Marriage Flex. Sheesh.

By: Jaclyn

Jaclyn — Mon, 19 May 2008 18:56:20 +0000

Learning to love the person you’ve found…what if you found them under a rock? What if they are a terrible person that treats you badly — just find the bright side of a terrible marriage and work on compromising yourself so that you can be proud of the “marriage” you have. BS.

I think Mort must mean something more like, “So he leaves the toilet seat up…cut him a little slack and focus more on something else”.

I made excuse after excuse for my ex-husband’s behavior and constantly came up with half-arsed reasons why it (and my marriage) were okay.

Example: Husband spends nearly $100 at the strip club while I stay at home with the baby and no car and no money…well, he works hard and deserves a night out. Oh crap, he overdrafted us…we’ll have to pay $300 because of that $100 he spent on naked girls…oh, well uh he goes out to work and earns it so its not really my place to get upset. I mean, I’m not financialy contributing, I only take care of our daughter 24-seven with barely any help from him and clean the house and do the dishes and mow the law…but he’s stressed out and the last thing he needs is me “nagging” at him for overdrafting the bank account again.

I honestly don’t know any guy that was willing to go to marriage counseling (my ex-husband included) other than my current boyfriend, whose idea it actually was and his ex-wife was the one refusing it. Its hard to get BOTH parties to recognize there is a problem and be willing to (in some cases) “swallow their pride” and see a counselor.

If I had worked even harder at “learning to love the person I found”…my spirit would have been completely annihilated. Its one thing to say, “He’s not the best looking guy I’ve ever dated, but he’s got a great personality” and another thing to say “Well, he treats me horribly…but he’s also a really good liar. That’s a good quality, right?”

By: singleworkingmommy

singleworkingmommy — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:54:45 +0000

I’m considering marriage counseling–although we were never married. So maybe “couples counseling” is more the word. But not from Mort, sorry Mort.

We have issues communicating. We love each other, but our lack of communication skillz causes problems.

I need to learn how to better communicate with the father of my child, even if it’s just so we have a peaceful next 16+ years. So, I think it will help in that regard.

By: QTMama

QTMama — Mon, 19 May 2008 14:29:10 +0000

Hmm .. I did marriage counseling. I think it helped me to understand that I did want to leave my husband moreso than I realized.