“They Repeat.”

by mssinglemama on May 15, 2008

My best friend Mia mouthed this to me the other night while Benjamin and Sydney, her four year old daughter, were huddled beneath us eating cookies.

I had been talking about another adult, someone everyone in the room knows and has contact with frequently. Bad mommy. And naive mommy.

I may know a lot about being a dating single mom, but this mommy stuff – all of the rules – not so much. Mia is a few years ahead of me so she gives me pointers whenever she sees an “issue” cropping up. I welcome them and thank her profusely.

On the way to daycare this morning Benjamin started worming his way out of his car seat straps. He likes to do this because it pisses me off, I turn my head and he gets a mouth full of concerned shouts.

“Benjamin! Get your arms back in there! If you don’t – and we crash – you could go splat and die! Now put your arms back in there! Die, get it? Splat – dead.”

“Die! Die! Die! DIIIIIEEEEEEE!” shouts Benjamin.

Uh-oh. Distraction needed. He can’t go into daycare saying “Die!”

I turn up the radio. The girl on the air is so annoying. I flip the station – even worse.

“God, these people are HORRIBLE.”

“Orubleee. Orrrruble. Orub?”

“It’s horrible, honey, horrible.” I sound it out carefully. Is this okay? Where’s Mia when I need her? But he needs to know how to say horrible, right? It’s a useful word.

“Horubule!”

“Nice! You got it, baby!”

I love this kid talking thing btw – makes being a single mom much, much easier. Just have to watch it from now on. What are the MOST EMBARRASSING things your kids have repeated in public? Teach me some lessons, please …

[Photo credit]

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Tracy May 15, 2008 at 1:13 pm

LOl….horrible things repeated..can’t think of any off the top of my head BUT…horrible things blurted..THAT is a different story!

Let’s see, how about the time my little man pointed to an east indian man with a full red turbin and a long white beard and shouted ” mom…santa’s wearing a weird hat!”, or the time he *kindly* offered advise to a lady in line that had a large dark birthmark on her face that ivory soap could clean that right up!

By the way…that talking thing is exciting now, but just wait…my son is now 8 and NEVER stops talking…..EVER…… LOL!

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sparklingmama May 15, 2008 at 1:15 pm

Ahhh kids are funny!

I explained to my kids about their “private parts” about a week later we were standing in line to use the bathroom at the library and my 2-year-old started screaming “Don’t look at my vagina!”. The entire library could hear her. I was mortified!!

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kelly007 May 15, 2008 at 1:35 pm

LOL sparklingmama…that’s too much.

Mine can’t talk in complete sentences or anything, but my Mom tells me about some crazy stuff that came out of my mouth.

*At the grocery store, she realized they didn’t have the pasta she normally bought. She told me (I was 3) about it, and I said, “OH S**T!” She was mortified.

*I also asked her in front of our next door neighbor who had a huge belly if HE was pregnant.

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kelly007 May 15, 2008 at 1:37 pm

Forgot to add, I have cut down on my cursing by 99%. It’s been hard. I’m not a sailor or anything, but I used to let the occasional F**K fly when appropriate. We say “Earmuffs!!!” to each other if any of us curse.

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tami May 15, 2008 at 1:53 pm

my daughter told her doctor that her dad was coming home, and she was going to give him a ‘fish slap’
she picked that line up from 50 First Dates….yeah, after explaining it, the doc laughed, but prior to…i got a pretty fierce look…lol
oh yes, and she used to sing ‘mary had a little lamb its burried in the barn’….where she came up with that, I will never know….

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LJ May 15, 2008 at 2:15 pm

My 4 year old likes anything that rhythms.

Itch.. Bitch.

Kitchen.. Bitchen.

Sock…

Truck… 🙂

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Emily May 15, 2008 at 3:11 pm

It doesn’t stop…my son is 7 1/2 and recently I was talking about an annoying neighbor and said “She has got to be the most retarded person in the world”, well, my dear son went to her son and said, “my mom thinks your mom is the most retarded person in the world”. You always have to watch what you say!!

I have had some embarrassing moments with him too, which I have blogged about…you really have to be careful what you do! For example…

This story I probably should have a small explaination first that will also explain the second. Being a single mother my son comes into public restrooms with me at ALL times. When he was younger I wouldn’t make him turn around, I would just quickly do what I had to do. Well apparently I wasn’t quick enough sometimes….

When my son was about 3 we were in line at a very crowded bank. He put his hand in my pocket and pulled out a tampon (I did not know it was in there) holds it up above his head and says very loudly…”Hey mom, is this what you stick in your butt!” OMG, I could’ve died right there. All I could do is take it from his hand and put it back in my pocket and pretend it never happened, but boy was I embarrassed.

Then came: “Mom, I know that all boys have weiners (I don’t know why he called it this, because I only refer to it as penis to him), but why do girls only have butts with a little bit of hair?” *This is when I KNEW I needed to have him face the other way in the bathroom and recently I have started having him go in the stall next to me (in public bathrooms) – his little eyes were looking a LITTLE to much!

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bejewell May 15, 2008 at 9:41 pm

These are all hilarious – the tampon story is CLASSIC. But now I’m terrified. We’ve got a one year old and his dad and I share a pretty raunchy sense of humor. And we’ve already paid the swear jar over $100. I think we’re in trouble.

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Kat Wilder May 16, 2008 at 9:47 am

I don’t know how or why this came out of The Kid’s mouth when he was about 3 or 4, but, there in the booze aisle of our local Safeway, he announced, “I like beer.”

You should have seen the looks!

And I don’t even like beer! Why didn’t he say pinot? Hmm!

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jon b May 19, 2008 at 9:06 am

The kid talking hting is great….until you say sh&t when a car cuts you off. You suddenly have a two year old saying sh&t to everyone when they say hi….I do like teachign the situational responses and stuff. I taught him to say “Good Morning Mommy” when he gets up. Being able to caoch and get him to take a rose we picked into his mommy and say “Here Pretty Mama” was well recieved. of course my crowning achievement is him now saying “Show Me Rain” and running his hand in front of his face a la Prince. Life is good.

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