Via Text: Wanna Go Out?

by mssinglemama on May 9, 2008

When did men start asking women out with a text message?

I got married in 2004 and divorced in 2007. In 2004, men definitely didn’t do this.

Text Case #1:

Subject: A guy who asked me out at a bar. We had a brief text exchange the next morning.

My Text: Thanks for your number. Had fun playing pool!

His Text: And just think how much fun it would have been had you won a game!

My Text: Yeah, really! What’s your e-mail?

No response. My friend and I concluded it must have been my asking for his e-mail. “That’s weird,” she said. Clearly I don’t know text rules. Clearly.

Five days later he sends me another one.

His Text: Any plans tonight?

My Text: Nope, just staying in.

His Text: Yeah, probably the same thing for me.

I haven’t responded.

Text Case #2

Subject: A guy I’d dated for a few weeks, but it sunk quickly and we hadn’t talked in three weeks.

Text: Wanna discuss and give it another try?

I nearly dropped my Corona onto the bar floor. I was out…it was a Friday night. It had taken me weeks to get over this guy and here he was TEXTING me a request to talk it through.

My Text: Who are you?

I’d deleted his number. This was a mean joke on my part.

His Text: It’s (insert name here)

My Text: No, I can’t.

Five months later.

His Text: Wanna wrestle?

My Text: Hell no! I have a boyfriend.

Sigh. I just don’t get it. Where is Cary Grant when you need him?


Photo Credit and Caption: Cary Grant and Rosiland Russell in His Girl Friday (1940)

{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

velk May 9, 2008 at 10:37 pm

Just wait till the requests start coming in through twitter… then you’ll know humanity has officially jumped the shark.


Mr. Anonymous® May 9, 2008 at 10:43 pm

WOW! – GUESS I HAD BETTER START UP THOSE ETIQUETTE; *Scratch that* BASIC F**KING COURTSHIP RITUALS! – I BLAME TV ! and [of course] George Bush. They’re BOTH Hopeless!!

Ed Note: Removed the UC in F**K.


Mr. Anonymous® May 9, 2008 at 10:44 pm

PS: Happy Mother’s Day !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


dadshouse May 9, 2008 at 11:29 pm

Was it my post, or the comments to the post?

Texting is weird. Cary Grant couldn’t text because he used rotary phones.


mssinglemama May 9, 2008 at 11:33 pm

Velk: Excellent point – don’t ever ask me out on Twitter, okay? I’ll disown you. : )

Mr. Annonymous: Not sure if this is TV or GW … might just be that guys finally don’t have to actually talk to us women on the phone. Men are scaredy cats.

DH: The comments – but that counts as part of the post in my book. Right?


marchmommy May 10, 2008 at 6:24 am

You hit the nail on the head saying that men are scaredy cats! I’ve had numerous guys ask me out by text. The worst has to be the opposite though…my ex-boyfriend broke up with me by text…when I was 5 months pregnant!!!!!! Now that has be the ultimate in cowardice.
Love your blog BTW, my baby is 2 mos now and I’m just getting into the whole single mommy thing!! : )


QTMama May 10, 2008 at 9:48 am

You know MSM, what this makes me think of? What will it be like when Benjamin and Em start to date?? Er, not each other ;), but … if it’s all done via technology now, what’s it going to be like when our kids are dating age?


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SingleMomSeeking May 10, 2008 at 10:55 am

I agree… it’s just too darn scary for these guys, they can’t muster up the courage to call you and talk to the REAL live Ms. Single Mama. You deserve better.

When I don’t know a guy very well, I use texting for informative purposes only (say, I’m running late, I’ll text, “B there in 5–“) Just the facts, Ma’am.

You’re so genuine… you deserve the same.


Alexis May 10, 2008 at 10:57 am

Yeah…Text-dating is real bad. It’s totally weird that texting has become an acceptable form of communication. It is not at all. Just last weekend I was saying that I couldn’t believe that this 40 yr. old guy (I’m 31) was texting me for a date and couldn’t even call. Since when did it become OK for a 40 yr. old man not to call a woman for a date? It is so strange- I didn’t go because of it….did I pass up a good time? who knows?


Lauren May 10, 2008 at 2:20 pm

Love the ‘His Girl Friday’ picture. 🙂 I recently had someone ask me out on my blog. Don’t think that I have been asked out through a text yet but I just got text messaging back on my phone.

Happy almost Mother’s Day!


mssinglemama May 10, 2008 at 5:40 pm

You too Lauren!!! Mother’s Day is tomorrow – crap. I have to go shopping for my mom!

Conclusion thus far = I’m not alone. Thank you!


dadshouse May 10, 2008 at 9:18 pm

Hey, don’t just blame the guys – I had a woman just yesterday refuse to talk on the phone, saying she was at work and texting was more discreet. We flirted by text and set up a date for tonight. (I blogged today about that bit of craziness, and then some…)

I’ve met tons of women who would rather text me than talk on the phone. They are scaredy cats too.

Please don’t lump all men into that category, and please don’t assume that category is devoid of women.


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Andy May 11, 2008 at 5:50 pm

Here, here, Dadshouse! My timid (bitter?) single mom prefers texting me rather than conversing on the phone – and she’s 46.

It’s not gender OR age. It’s people’s personalities. In my case, she is scared of commitment and this is a way to keep me a little more distant.


Zandria May 11, 2008 at 10:24 pm

I wouldn’t mind so much being asked out via text message. It’s being broken-up with through text message that would suck…


Kat Wilder May 12, 2008 at 12:41 am

Gee, somehow I feel I should be texting you this response.

Texting is flirty, fun foreplay when you’re seeing or dating someone — it isn’t a way to ask someone out. But, maybe I feel that way because I’m old.

An SMS brings up a good point — what does the future hold when it comes to today’s youngsters dating? I kinda hope they go back to courting …


mssinglemama May 12, 2008 at 2:11 am

So…should I text Case #1 back … or call him?

That happened two days ago. I didn’t call him over the weekend. I just left his last text hanging. I could have texted something like,

“Cool, call me if you’re going out tomorrow.”

But I just dropped it. I want to be chased. Seriously. I’m not in the mood and don’t have the time. If a guy wants to date me he’ll have to pound down my door and shake me or something. I’m way, way too happy.

DH and Andy – I could edit the post to say “in 2004 PEOPLE didn’t do this.” Nice point guys.

I LOVE all of these comments…agree 100%. And can’t believe some of those stories! Texting is crazy. I don’t think it’s because we’re old Kat…I think it’s just because it doesn’t feel right.

What will happen to our kids? Who knows. I imagine Benjamin with a cell phone programmed into his ear or something.

Conclusion = we should all move to bungalows in Iceland and feed our cell phones to the seals.


kelly007 May 12, 2008 at 8:19 am

I say leave that text hanging. If you like to be chased, this isn’t the guy for you. His “any plans tonight” text seemed kind of passive aggressive, like he wanted to ask you out, but didn’t, and then dropped the ball when he should have. Did that even make sense??


Leslie May 12, 2008 at 9:25 am

I think texting is even worse than email for confusing what the other person means too.

Definitely a wimpy move, just ask the girl out and if she’s busy no big deal. Getting asked out is always flattering – this guy? who knows what he’s thinking.


Herpes Remedy June 18, 2009 at 7:53 am

i really like this post… thanks!


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