Comments on: Should I leave my husband?

By: Anon

Anon — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 15:20:51 +0000

I know this was posted three years ago but I sincerely hope you have left your husband. Having grown up in a house where my mother was treated like that by my father I can tell you that it WILL affect your children very badly, and it’s not very easy to forgive either parent for putting you through it. You’re afraid of being alone, I understand but you’re passing that fear onto your daughters and they WILL fall into the same trap as your unless you show them a better example, do you want this life for them? And your sons will think it’s ok to treat a woman like this, it’s all they’ll know unless you teach them otherwise. You need to leave, I really really hope you have. Don’t live in fear.

By: megan

megan — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 09:11:44 +0000

i don’t know what i should do.. im 18 i have been with my husband for 3 1\2 years i love him. he is the father of my son that is 2. but i dont no what to do im happy but than again im not. he dosent really call me pretty or any thing nice like that and he says the reason why he dosen’t say it is becouse i should already know i am.. everybody always tells me i can do better but i don’t know my sister’s boyfriend has a friend that has always liked me and always calls me pretty and stuff like that. and always says he would drop any thing to be with me. becouse he like me so much. but i dont no if i should leav me husband ive been thinking about this for a long time i think i got married to young to find out who i really am. i have only been with two diffrent guys and the first one always cheated on me and i have trust issues even with my husband he lost his job about a month ago and hasn’t really good for one since and we are broke i dont no if i should take the chance with the guy that really likes me or stay with my husband??

By: Gab

Gab — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 14:29:18 +0000

I’m an Aussie, married to a Ghanaian. Struggle constantly with lack of communication. Not sure what came 1st- my complaining or his lack of help, affection, kindness, care, thought. Last night we were going to have “make up sex” after an argument the night before- which is fine, it works for us usually. I went to kiss him & he pulled away from me. I said “don’t you want to kiss me”?- his reaction was silence, complete silence, like I had switched the light off, or pulled out the plug. This is very very common for him- he can’t handle confrontation, or any reaction unless it’s calm. He was taught to hide his emotions, I was taught to express mine. I’m fire, he is water. When he ignores me I feel, hurt, confused, rejected, unloved, unheard. I always push him (vocally) for an answer & he always resists. This makes me more emotional & leads to anger. I feel a deep repression, a frustration that makes me boil inside. This is only 1 example of many regular insidences where he chooses to completely and utterly ignore me. Sometimes he will bring himself to say “I don’t know”, which is still unsatisfying. I have got to the point where I am loosing control and will go into some kind of rage, mad crazy woman, and end up screaming at him and punching and pushing him, not to hurt but to get a reaction. I hate who I have become, I see behavior I never knew existed in me. I am disgusted, embarrassed, ashamed of what I have done. All because he ignores me. He always tells me that it is all my fault and if I want anything to change then I have to change. Of course all I want is to be happy. I can’t see things improving because he refuses to talk about anything. I don’t want to leave though. This is my 2nd marriage. I have 2 teenagers and we have a 2 yr old together. I waited 10 years to find him & don’t want a 2nd marriage 2fail & be a single mum again. I want a husband, a friend a lover. I just am so unhappy & so is he. But without communication it can’t improve- or do I just excersise patience? Walk away when he hurts me emotionally. I need a strategy.

By: Emma

Emma — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 08:08:17 +0000

Wow I’m sure glad to see that I’m now alone it’s 3am n I have to go to work in like 5hrs I can’t sleep me n my kid were in bed n my son who is 9months old was crying bc he was tired my husband picks him up n shakes him (not hard enough to Hurt him but it ticked me off) I told him to start acting like a man instead of a 5year old n he grabs me by the neck n screams I outta knock u out I fu**ing
Slut As I have my 9 month old laying ony chest n he(my baby) started screaming he went in the front room n I’m so upset I don’t know what to do I lOve my husband me n him have fought
Like this b4 but he’s never shook my kids b4 iv always made myself stay bc I love him he’s never “hit” me but he’s held a gun to my head tol me he’d kill me he’s picked me up by my neck n threw me down n iv got tithe point that I feel like he don’t love me he don’t help me clean the house or help with my kids as much as he shold n he never is affectionate to me I feel like he dont appreciate me at all he always been a good dad n any time iv tried to
Leave him he’s like I’m sorry I love u n the old him comes back but then it gose back to the same thing everyday he calls me
A curse word n idk y I need help I love him n he’s a good dad I don’t k ow if I should leave him or not

By: caroline

caroline — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 09:22:27 +0000

I feel so identified with your story.. I’ve been married for 16 years and my husband cheated on me with my own sister on the night of our first son’s birth.. how I found out it’s a long story.. and he has cheated a couple other times that I know of.. He hasn’t been working for a year and we lost our home a year ago because of his lack of responsbility to keep a job.. he’s gotten more verbally abusive in the last couple of years.. he also sits down for hrs playing PS3 while I do everything around the house,he sleeps until 1 pm and then gets up to get ready to go pick up kids from school,I also cought him watching pornography in his cell phone and the PC several times too.. and to make things even worse four months ago on the night of my birthday I went to check my FB and he forgot to log out of this email that I didn’t even know about and saw that he and my sister have been screwing around for a while.. I confronted my sister about it and she denied it all and called him a lier,but she sent him a text later thinking that he wasn’t going to show me with a plan to how to convince me about this quote on quote girl that had a similar name to hers and that the reason she wrote in the mail that she wants to see him is because she never met him in person before..I don’t know what to do anymore? I feel so betrayed..I have no self steem anymore.. he tells me that I can go live with my parents or that i need to forget and forgive!but this is what he told me every time after I caught him cheating on me.. like I’m supposed to trust him right away everytime! what can I do? I’m so scared to live on my own.. I stopped working 15 years ago when I was expecting our first son after having a miscarriage and stayed home since then taking care of my three boys… i just feel so overwhelmed with no help around the house and with our children..but overall I feel so disrespected and misunderstood!

By: r

Thu, 08 Dec 2011 16:01:31 +0000

hello my husband and i have been together for 20 years, and married nearly 7, he is 29 years older than me, has health issues, but he is very controlling over me, he keeps telling me he wants me and the kids out the house, our sex life is almost no excistant these days, not that that part bothers me, but we used to be so close, but he was always quite controling, and its only in the last few months or so that i have started to let it get to me, if i try and talk to him he gets angry and says it is all my fault and part of me thinks it is, because i have given up trying to fight for my right to be able to come and go freely from the house, i have given up my hobbies because he said i was never home and it caused aurguments, part of me wants to take the kids and start afresh, but i am afraid of being on my own and left on the shelf, and part of me still loves and cares about him, am i wrong for feeling this and what do you all suggest i do, i am so confused and dont want my teenage kids to behave like this towards there future partners, how the heck do i get this right in my mind that i need to go and not look back and not feel guilty, i have not given my name as i dont want my husband to find out about this email, i fear him greatly but i fear the unknown just as much , thanks for reading this, and does anyone agree this is domestic abuse

By: Nelle

Nelle — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 19:51:13 +0000

One of the comments above says people do not change, i have found this to be a very true statement. After 27 years of enduring both physical and emotional abuse I am plotting my escape. He rarely lays hands on me anymore however I was called a stupid bitch just the other night and I had to smile to myself because he has no idea what is coming down the pike! I have raised two beautiful children, one has graduated college and the other attends right now, she needs my financial help with this so I have three years before I can finally make my move, however in that three years, the car will be paid off, I will have accumulated a nice sum in my personal bank account, my children will be financially independent, i will be able to support myself w/o ANY help from him whatsoever, so now when I am verbally abused, I almost rejoice as the end is near:)

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By: baidu678

baidu678 — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 04:36:22 +0000

Thank you and I aim to please in the future with my future articles!

By: worried for my baby

worried for my baby — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 18:00:20 +0000

Every story in here sounds the same. I can’t believe so many women are experiencing what I am. It’s miserable. I only knew my husband for a year before he proposed, and I ignored all the selfish and hurtful behavior when I accepted and got pregnant shortly after. He checked out, never spends time with us, drinks every night, and leaves me with ALL of the family tasks (I am my 18 month old’s only provider and always have been). He was unemployed and I was recovering from a c-section delivery that almost took both me and my daughter, and he kicked me out of bed because breastfeeding was disrupting his sleep. He has been verablly abusive and rages and throws tantrums, and two psychologists have told me he has a personality disorder. The ONLY reason I stay is because I’m scared to share custody of my daughter with him. He’s got no parenting skills and never spends time with her other than to pat her on the head when he leaves, but he would insist on “every other weekend.” How am I supposed to let my precious baby girl go off with this selfish man with no parenting skills? I can’t tell if it’s better to try to keep my pain inside and hope my daughter doesn’t pick up on these horrible relationship patterns, or to send her off with him on court-appointed visitation like I had to have with my dad that made me miserable. If he hurt her, emotionally or physically, I’d come out of my skin!