Toddler-free (for one week?)

by mssinglemama on April 30, 2008

My mom has had Benjamin since Tuesday morning (his dad dropped him at her house after their Monday night sleepover). She’d been dying to see him and begged me to hand him over for a night. I did, gladly. “Take him. He’s been driving me nuts!”

Now she’s offering to take him for the rest of the week, “You need a break. You do. And that’s what grandmother’s are for, right?”

So at this point (Wednesday morning) … I’m still all for it.

I do need a bit of a break. Benjamin has been in full blown terrible two mode for weeks now, and it’s been tough – really tough. I’ve reached my breaking point way too many times. If she can really make it until Friday, it could be good for both of us.

But I’m not sure if I can make it until Friday. Major Benjamin withdrawal could set in. But I feel like I have to allow myself a guilt-free week of fun dinners out with friends, shopping and sleeping – lots of sleeping.

UPDATE - It’s now Wednesday night, about to leave work and I’m still sitting in my office. I miss him. Half tempted to jump in the car and go get my little guy. Sigh. Not sure if I can do this. But mom called and he’s still having a blast.

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

kevin April 30, 2008 at 11:07 am

What a great web site. I noticed yours on Best of Blogs (Somebody nominated me for Best new Blog and Best Daddy Blog _ I’m a single dad.)
You got good stuff here. I’ll stop by from time to time.

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Tracy April 30, 2008 at 11:09 am

Do IT!!!!! Make it last! You will be refreshed and re-energized when you get him back and that makes for a healthy relationship. Whenever I go to a babyshower for a friend, I always bring a little something for the mom-to-be…why? Because mommy needs to look after mommy so she can look after her little one. We all deserve a little ‘me’ time….stick it out…you be glad you did!

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The Queen Chimes In April 30, 2008 at 12:28 pm

Hey, you are tagged to do a 6 things meme. See my blog for details.

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Optimistic Mama April 30, 2008 at 1:13 pm

I say enjoy it, as long as it lasts, but let him decide when he’s ready to come home. Shoot for Friday, but be overwhelmed with love when he’s just got to have his Mama back on Thursday!

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sparklingmama April 30, 2008 at 1:18 pm

You should do it. It will be tough, but you deserve a chance to recharge!

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liz April 30, 2008 at 1:24 pm

ENJOY it!!! The first time my boys were away for that long, I spent the first day and a half being sad they were gone, and then got my butt in gear and did all the things I can’t do with them home (sleep, sleep, shop, go out with friends, sleep some more).

You deserve a break — Have fun!!

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Leslie April 30, 2008 at 1:47 pm

Ooh I hope you’re still enjoying!! Last year mine was gone for a whole week on a trip – I was bored out of my mind and cried lol… I guess it was too overwhelming to have so many days in a row free, I just didn’t know how to handle it. Will not be having that problem the next time!

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dadshouse April 30, 2008 at 2:10 pm

Enjoy it! Absence makes the heart grow fonder. A break is always good. When my daughter was 2, her mom and I went to Europe for 11 days. After 7 I was dying to get back, but the time away was good.

Go date, relate, sleep, hang out with friends. If you need tips on dating four people at once, check my blog today (lol).

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mommypie April 30, 2008 at 2:12 pm

You know it’ll be good for you — by the time he comes home, you’ll have missed him so much … he’ll have missed you so much … you’ll BOTH be revitalized!

I don’t know about Benjamin, but I firmly believe that my daughter needs time away from me too. Who WOULDN’T?? Sheesh — even I get sick of myself from time to time.

So don’t feel guilty — it’s good all the way around.

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Singleparentingdad April 30, 2008 at 5:33 pm

I get the same withdrawals not seeing my son for more than a day but I say go for it and enjoy!

I would just suggest that it not be a complete week since kids at that age probably shouldn’t be separated from their primary caregiver for more than a couple of days.

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mssinglemama April 30, 2008 at 5:40 pm

Hi SPD … he’s at his grandmother’s – he spent the first year of his life there, so she’s like his second mom. He actually calls her “mom.” But yes, if he starts asking for me – I’m there.

And already (now Wed. night) I’m feeling major pangs. Not sure if I can make it.

But I will try…I will. I have so much to do – namely, cleaning my disgusting apartment which is now off the hook messy because I’ve been spending my nights out with friends.

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jennie April 30, 2008 at 8:26 pm

have to disagree w spd… a week with his grandmother is not going to give b an abandonment complex.

msm, i have found that time away from my son allows me to be a much better parent. as a single mama, we have to be ON 24/7, and that can be damn hard! and while it is tempting to tackle your to-do list, my advice to you would be to focus more on relaxing and enjoying yourself than on things like cleaning (unless that sort of thing is zen for you;)). you’ve earned a little r&r!

but i totally get how hard it is to not have b there. whenever my son is gone, i walk around in a daze, feeling like i left him at the grocery store or something!

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Will Entrekin April 30, 2008 at 11:01 pm

Not that I have children (nor probably ever will), but were I to, I’d think that such (tiny) periods of separation would be good for the soul on both sides. Enjoy your “guilt-free week of fun dinners out with friends, shopping and sleeping – lots of sleeping”–sounds like just what the doctor ordered, and come the weekend, things can pick up as though they never left off.

I say let your hair down (it’s fantastic) and embrace your pillow, if only to rejuvenate your fabulous self and be better than ever.

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Courtney May 1, 2008 at 12:16 am

Don’t be afraid to ask for help- if your mom is there and offers to take Benjamin so you can have a break- take her up on it. It will do each of you some good; for you- a much needed break, for your mom- QT with her grandson, and for Ben- gaining independence from you. If you feel like a week is too long, even a day will be welcomed. Beware though if you think 2 is a challenge, wait until he turns 3. Just wait…..

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mssinglemama May 1, 2008 at 12:31 am

Courtney! Really? It’s that much worse. I know … I can imagine. My worst fear actually – teenagedom.

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extraordinarymommy May 1, 2008 at 12:54 am

The time away will be heavenly….and if you want to have him come home a little early, you can do that too. It is so wonderful to ‘recharge’. I always feel like a better mom when I get a little time to refocus and remember who I am (just me). Then I can, once again, be Mommy.

Hope you take her up on it!

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