Single Mom S.O.S.: Her ex wants full custody!

by mssinglemama on April 25, 2008

Every once in a while I post a Single Mom S.O.S. The first time for my friend Abby who was trying to figure out how to explain a break up to her daughter and now for another single mom, Tricia. The dilemma – her ex-husband wants to fight for full-custody of their oldest son, a 9-year-old.

First some facts. Tricia is amazing. She is light, happy, full of optimism and she loves her two boys.

Since their divorce in July she and her ex-husband have had 50/50 split custody of the kids. She says, “I didn’t fight for full custody because he’s a great father, and my father was so important to me. I want him to be very involved in their lives.”

Now, less than one year later, her son says he wants to live with Daddy full-time and his father is not only encouraging this notion, but threatening to go to court.

You can imagine the emotional pain she’s feeling right now. He’s nine and he doesn’t know any better…but still. She also says her ex-husband has been encouraging the idea. To make matters worse he is also threatening to take the fight to court.

My theory:

Her son is having some natural anxiety over the recent divorce and feels torn, but wants to be back in his old house with dad. (Tricia is the one who moved out to a new house)

We need your help. She’s reading this … so please, any legal tips, any advice on how to talk her son out of this. Anything at all would be helpful. This is just breaking my heart. I can’t even imagine…

Can a father even legally do this if the mother is 100% fit to care for her children?

P.S. Tricia is not on drugs or anything crazy like that and how could a father encourage 9-year-old to want this? Seems like he’s playing on the poor kids vulnerability and emotions right now.

If you have your own Single Mom S.O.S. request e-mail me at mssinglemama-at-gmail-dot-com. Your name will not be published.

[Photo Credit: Tks Massachusetts!]

Related posts:

  1. Being a Single Mom With a Glass Half Full
  2. Shared custody…shared toys?
  3. Do men really care if you’re a single mom?
  4. Single Mom S.O.S. – Explaining a Break Up
  5. I LOVE being a single mom.

{ 72 comments… read them below or add one }

sparklingmama April 25, 2008 at 9:32 pm

It is extremely difficult to get sole custody, especially as a father. I can’t imagine that he would have a very strong case.

I fought for sole custody for some very serious reasons and wasn’t able to get it.

Maybe taking her son to see a therapist would be a good idea? It sounds like he thinks living in his old house would help him to feel better about the divorce. Perhaps talking to a therapist would help him to sort out his feelings and realize that he needs to deal with these feelings regardless of where he lives.

Reply

MeoMia April 25, 2008 at 10:45 pm

Ok. I’ve never blogged before!! But this hits home and I may have something to offer having been through this very painful experience. I’m in Georgia which is a non-entrapment state, meaning I can leave the state with my son, who is almost 10. I don’t know what state Abby is in but I think all states are a little different. First I want to say to anyone contemplating or going through a divorce right now….NEVER, did I mention NEVER agree to joint physical custody. (you pretty much always have to give joint legal so your ex can access medical and school records etc.) You can always give more visitation as YOU see fit, but it is near impossible, and very costly, to restrict visits if you give joint physical. You are divorced because you couldn’t agree on key issues. Why do you think you will be more agreeable after you are divorced, and eventually there are other people in your life and your ex’s life and so much can change so fast. Trust me on this one. Stay in complete control as much as possible. You will thank me for this advice later. Ok, onto the issue at hand. A few years ago I gave notice I was leaving to another state and so my ex took me back to court for a change of custody. (He only gets every other weekend and a hard to keep up with alternating year holiday schedule.) My son was 6 at the time, and like all kids around that age, easily manipulated. Basically, the law works like this….There has to be a ‘change of circumstance’ why the custody needs to be changed. Children don’t get to/have to make those decisions. Adults and judges do. If Abby’s ex is promoting a child to make adult decisions…well…not pretty. Your reason for leaving has just been validated and confirmed. Judges don’t like this scenario so if Abby does find herself before a judge, emphasize this irresponsible behavior. If you end up in court, it’s war, and go for the jugular. Remember, he is wrong to be playing these mind games. For many reasons, though he CAN take you to court, his chances of winning are…somewhere between zero and none…because:
Judges do not like to split siblings up.
There has to be something major like neglect or abuse on Abby’s part.
Children need their Mommies. Period. Judges have Mommies too!

Again, if he does take you to court, my additional advice based on experience is:
while the judge will want you to try to go work things out in the hallway to save court time, go and go through the motions but don’t agree to anything. I found that I was willing (out of fear) to concede more than I had to. In fact, though my ex requested at least more time with my son, say a mid week visit for dinner for instance, the judge denied him saying there is no reason to change anything. Matter of fact, after hearing my ex’s plea/case, the judge did not even require me to take the stand and defend myself because he said he heard nothing compelling a change and then proceeded to lecture my ex for about 20 minutes on how dare he come in and just act like now it was his turn to be the custodial parent. He actually told him if he brought me back to court again without grounds, he would RESTRICT his visits even more!!
And finally, if you end up in court and prevail, which you will, petition the judge for your ex to pay your legal fees on the grounds that you were forced to hire an attorney to defend yourself against groundless claims. That’s what I did and I got it. The judge called it ‘abusive litigation’ and I think it took my ex 3 years to pay off my attorney!!! A nice deterent against future stupidity don’t you think!! Lengthy I know, but I hope this helps.

Reply

Carla August 13, 2010 at 2:24 am

The law has changed in Texas. Children can be manipulated or guilt riddled into saying they want to live with the other parent (we still have joint custody) It does not matter if their grades are awsome, they have lived in the same house for years and you have high moral values. All children have to do is say they want to live with the other parent. I was not only recently robbed of my twelve year old son, but now have to pay child support to him and his wife who have two incomes. At court I had to put in the divorce decree that the parents can only call the child twice a week. The father, a police officer, calls twice a week during the summer and tells our son to call him every day. He taught our son how to delete phone calls so I wouldn’t know. That was until I got the phone bill, over $400. Dad continues to manipulate everyone. When he calls, if our son does not answer, he puts his step son up to contacting our son through facebook. He writes, “we are worried about you and tried to call. Are you okay? Not only have I lost primary residency with my son, but I have lost financial security and am continuing to be bullied by an officer who knows how to work around the law. I do not understand why getting primary custody and child support is not enough for him. He continues to manipulate everyone he can to get what he wants.

Reply

jeanne August 28, 2011 at 9:04 pm

dear carla,
i totally empathize with you.i am a single mother of five. my ex is also a police officer and he is extremely manipulative.my three oldest said they wanted to live with him and he encouraged them to do so and made my life at home with the three oldest very difficult.the two youngest didnt mind being with me.the courts ordered me to pay him child support,i had to move into a smaller apartment.he now lives in a home with his wife and our kids.he has three incomes…mine,his ,and his wifes.i couldnt afford to keep the kids part time and pay him child support.everyday i worry that my kids are sad that they are not with me more…but they are getting all that they need, have plenty of room to live,and seem happy when i call.everyday i feel an immense guilt for my decision;but i am going to school,will graduate in may with my bachelors degree.hopefully i will get a better paying job and be able to afford a bigger place .then i can go for partial custody again.i still have shared legal custody.until then i will see the kids weekend and as often extra that i can.pto’s,school commitees,etc.i bring them to church every sunday and i have relied very heavily on our blessed father to help me along the way and teach me how to walk the higher ground and have faith that all of us will be ok with these changes.god bless carla…

Reply

mom2b December 18, 2012 at 4:46 pm

MeoMia – I live in Georgia also. I am curious, what county did your case take place in? I am 5 months pregnant but know I have a serious custody case on my hands once I pop the baby out. My ex has been trying to pressure me to commit to 50/50 custody since I was 7 weeks pregnant but I refuse. He is so manipulative. I know he will try his best to win and he has endless energy so he will fight me tooth and nail.

Reply

Sarah Hart April 26, 2008 at 3:18 am

Hello Single Mama and Tricia

I do a lot of work with mothers who live apart from their children as a result of family breakups and I lived apart from my daughter, so I know the heartache many mums face in this kind of situation.
Living in the UK I’m not familiar with your legal system but I would imagine, Iike the Sparklingmama says, it would be very difficult for the ex-husband to get sole custody under these circumstances. However, a lot of the time it’s not what happens in court that really matters, it’s about what happens in relationships that does.
My advice would be to try to remain as calm as possible – I understand this is hard but you want to draw you son to you, not drive him away with your panic, anger and a million questions. Gently try to get to the bottom of what is bothering him. It’s only natural that children have confused feelings about divorce and feel split between mum and dad. As dad lives in the family home, he is probably attracted by familiarly of it, it’s comforting and change through divorce is very hard for parents let alone kids. Finding a therapist is a good idea, perhaps for a Tricia and son session, and/or Tricia and children session.
Be calm but assertive with your ex, Tricia. I always say ‘think dignity’. The more upset you become, the more ammunition he will collect and possibly use against you. It’s also important that you son’s sees you behaving in a adult manner firstly because it’s a good rolemodel on how to behave and secondly because you don’t want him justifying to himself why he prefers living with dad. Sorry if this sounds tough, I know all those feelings you have about your baby and it seems impossible – but it happens.
April 25 is International Parental Alienation Day. PA is when one parent manipulates a child to turn against the other parent (I’ve just written a post about it). I hope this doesn’t prove to be true in your case but please read up on PA. Also, get yourself some good legal advice as soon as possible.
Hope this helps. Take care, go gently.

Reply

Jennifer April 26, 2008 at 3:45 am

Talk to a lawyer asap about the laws in your state and his chances of this happening. My lawyer reminded me that this is usually a typical male tactic to manipulate things to how he wants, but then they rarely follow through. Stand firm and don’t give in!

If he DOES try to take it to court, I would doubt very highly the judge will grant him full physical custody even if the child requested it. They don’t like to break up siblings, and there’s NO reason to change what you’ve been doing. What did the boy say when asked why he wanted to move out? Maybe he’s worried about his dad being all alone, and also missing his old house? Is dad’s visitation the ‘fun time’ visitation? I agree that maybe a counselor might be able to help out with the transition, and just BREATHE!!!! Divorce is horrible stuff, but hang in there.

Lastly, a previous poster mentioned joint legal custody as a given for the other parent to get medical and school records. This isn’t always true as I have full and complete legal custody of my son (no the dad is not abusive/druggie/etc just indifferent), and it’s just written in that I share info w/him. I think it depends on the situation. Also, I know in IL I have to ask the court to move out of state and adjust visitation accordingly, and it can be denied if it seems to be out of spite! Every state is different and that’s why you really should at least talk to a lawyer. Good luck!

Reply

Cato April 26, 2008 at 7:35 am

The ONLY tip to give her is to see her lawyer IMMEDIATELY about this. If she was unhappy with her lawyer, use friends (lawyer friends?) to find another one in her area who is a good divorce lawyer. Do not be penny wise and pound foolish. This is not a drill.

My friends who practice in these areas say generally that judges tend to give more weight to a child’s wishes as they get older – 9 is sort of in between on that – but judges can be all over the map, and it depends on what’s usual in the specific place your action is heard. State laws vary so much that it would be impossible for anyone who does not practice matrimonial law in her area to give her good advice, other than to remain calm and rational.

(Disclaimer: I am a mergers & acquisitions lawyer admitted to practice only in New York and Connecticut, but do not practice matrimonial law and this does not constitute legal advice or create any attorney client relationship.)

Reply

Tracy April 26, 2008 at 1:07 pm

My heart goes out to this poster…..been there…done that…he lost MISERABLY! I’m in Canada so I don’t know what laws pertain to what for you guys but my first and formost suggestion is get the best lawyer you can. I know here you are given a free half hour consultation with most lawyers, if it’s the same there…use this time and get as much legal advise as possible…..Big hugs to you and keep us posted…if nothing else we can at least be a great big supportive shoulder to lean on…

Reply

Rebs April 26, 2008 at 2:17 pm

Ok, I may get some negative feedback for this…what’s the big deal? If your friend admits that he’s a good dad, why not allow her son to make the decision to live with him? Yes, kids need mums. But kids need dads too. Especially dads who are willing to take a bigger role in raising their kids.

I agree with other posters that some counselling is in order, but for everyone…mum, dad and both kids. If this is happening now, it’s going to happen again as the kids become more independent and especially as they enter the tween/teen years. Both of my male cousin’s sons choose to live with their dad over their son. And the family that I worked with as a babysitter for a 5-yr period eventually ended up with all 3 boys gradually making the choice to live with their dad instead of their mom.

In the meantime, why not extend the amount of time he does spend with his dad? If he’s missing the house or worried about his dad being alone, this may help ease up his fears somewhat. Plus, this might get the ex to relax about pushing things into court and settling custody legally.

Reply

mssinglemama April 26, 2008 at 6:24 pm

Rebs – I absolutely, 100% disagree. He’s 9!!! He has no idea what is best for him and every kid needs their father and their mother. And if that’s 50/50 fine – but not 100% one way or the other, especially if one of the parents is such a fine parent (Trisha).

Thanks everyone for your comments – SO helpful and encouraging. Trisha called to say thanks to all of you!

Reply

Crazy Computer Dad April 26, 2008 at 8:57 pm

It’s a manipulation tactic. Kids are so impressionable, but kids can be as manipulative as adults. It kind of sounds like the child is trying to run this. Honestly, the Father should have squashed this idea in his son, not promoted it, shame on him. The adults make the decisions in the children’s lives. Once the children start to get the idea that they can manipulate and control things then bedlam ensues.

Sounds like the father and the son could both use some good counseling. Not the legal kind though…but a good lawyer would should tell him the same thing, no point in pursuing this unless there is solid evidence for doing so and if there isn’t, it will only harm the children.

Reply

Amy April 27, 2008 at 9:53 pm

Wow. This is tough. I have two boys and many people have told me that there will come a time that they might want to live with their dad full time…. I’m not looking forward to that – if it happens. They are 6 & 8 now.. and if my 8 year old told me he wanted to live with his dad full time I would tell him to try it out. Over a long vacation. And that we would talk about it and see… But I think it’s important that the child feels heard, and validated. Don’t dismiss it out of hand. Work with him. WOrk with his dad (if you can). Make sure he understands that living with his dad *all the time* means not with his mom. Maybe he doesn’t understand that.. since his dad is in the original house.

My heart goes out to you.

Reply

randomesq April 27, 2008 at 10:13 pm

Oy. I wish I had some experience with this so I could give friendly, if not legal, advice. It is, in my opinion, always wise to see your attorney and discuss the situation because knowledge is power. And it sends the message that you’re ready to fight, if need be.

Aside from that, I am sorry to offer no more than condolences and an ear. I wish your friend the best.

-R.

Reply

Rebs April 28, 2008 at 11:21 am

MSM, I think we far underestimate 9-year olds. Can any one of us claim that we know what is best for our kids? We’re all doing the best we can but, chances are, we’ll make mistakes. The best thing my mum ever did was sit me down at age 18 and talk frankly about the things that she wish she had done differently with my brother and I as we were growing up.

I might be missing something, but would living with his dad keep him from his mum? I’m assuming that the 50/50 split would change so that he’s at his dad’s house more nights than not, so correct me if I am wrong!

Believe me, at times I feel like The Mook is mine. All mine. I carried her for 9+ months and birthed her and breastfed her. I wish I didn’t have to share her with anyone, let alone someone I couldn’t stay married to. But a dad who will stand up and take more responsibility is, well, a stand up dad. Yes, he could be going about it a bit differently, but now is their chance to start dialogging, albeit with a mediator if they need to. They have a lot of years ahead of them in which situations like this might occur again.

Reply

Jim April 30, 2008 at 1:15 pm

Some people here are using common sense.

And some people here are using the typical “child as property” arguements. My god! We couldn’t possibly let the DAD have the kid! Even if it’s what the kid wants. Even if the dad is, admittedly, a “good dad”.

A 9 year old isn’t a baby. No, they don’t reason like an adult – but I see some adults here who are not reasoning like an adult. Like most things in life, the “middle road” should be explored. Like Rebs posted – why not work with Dad so that maybe it’s a 60/40 or 70/30 split and see how that works out?

Listen, eventually Mom may have to come to terms with the fact that Child would rather spend more time with Dad.

By the way, I don’t think 100% custody is a good idea. The child should see Mom some every week, or at least every other weekend. Again, this is what usually happens to Dads, so please, no double-standard.

Not all dads are jerks.

Reply

LJTM June 12, 2008 at 2:52 pm

Unless custody modifications vary widely state by state, the child’s “wishes” at this time to go live with dad are not grounds and would not be considered at a custody hearing. With that said, I would definitely encourage counseling to get at the root of why the boy wants to change homes. They may very well be honest, valid, and (cringe) in the child’s best interests — even though a judge would not change custody just on the whim and wishes of a none year old.

My parents divorced in the 70′s. I was a tomboy and very close to my father. Mom took care of my needs and was always there for me. However, I “connected” with my father and enjoyed all of the magic moments we had together fishing, going out for a drive, or just working on projects together. Dad kept the house and mom and I moved to an apartment in a nearby city. Although I loved mom dearly, I really missed the old house, my bedroom, my friends, and being with dad every day. At 10 years old, I’d secretly wanted to live with dad from the beginning, but they just didn’t give fathers custody back then. After a year, I asked my dad if it would be okay if I came to live with him. He was thrilled. Then I spent the day few months trying to convince my mom that I loved her, but just preferred to live with dad. She cried, made excuses, tried to buy my affection and became a Disney mom with mother-daughter outings and trips. Then finally, she agreed. Over the next 8 years, my dad did a tremendous job as the custodial parent, and I spent a lot of time with mom. Although she was afraid that she would lose me, our true child/parent relationship really didn’t change that much. It took a lot of effort on everyone’s part, just as it does when the father is the “visiting” parent. Mom is mom and dad is dad – that will never change and it has nothing to do with who cooks the most meals for the child or picks them up from Girls Scouts on a rainy day.

Reply

Sue June 12, 2008 at 6:54 pm

My sister just lost residential custody to her ex because of the same thing. she could not afford an attorney and had all kinds of proof from his CCD teacher to his school teacher ant so on. I am trying to get in touch with a some type of advocacy group to picket the court house because she is a wonderful mom. They shared custody but he won full custody now. So my advice would be to get a lawyer asap because you never know what kind of judge you may get. Good luck to you

Reply

mssinglemama June 12, 2008 at 7:01 pm

These are all really, really good points. Thank you so much for your comments. Very helpful, I’m sure to anyone going through this.

I love your story LJTM! You’re right mom is mom and dad is dad.

And Sue? A picket line! Good for you!

Reply

lje October 18, 2008 at 2:39 pm

I am going thru the same/similar situation. My ex refuses to do our 7yr old daughter home wk during the time he does have her. I have always tried to promote his relationship by remembering his birthday and allowing him extra time, all a while he burn/stabs me. I wanted the divorce and honestly thought we could all be friends. There was a hx of abuse and he had cheated on me twice. Now he is trying to prove me unfit. I am scared to death. He wont let me talk to our daughter when he has her but is very demeaning if I miss his call, but turn around and call him back with an hr or two. My heart goes outto all who are in this same situation as well as my prayers..

Thank you MeoMia, I so needed to hear your advice. I hear the same from my lawyer and everyone else, but it doesnt ease my fears. I gave up all financial and house to keep full custody and know his new wife that he cheated on me with is now trying to take my daughter.

Reply

maria November 21, 2011 at 7:21 am

if you truly did all of the right things …it will come out right….right actions right outcome …mothers dont loose their kids if they are decent

Reply

michael July 21, 2013 at 8:22 pm

who ever is reading this testimony today should please celebrate with me and my family because it all started like a joke to some people and others said it was impossible. my name is Michael i live in Chicago i am happily married with two kids and a lovely wife something terrible happen to my family along the line, i lost my job and my wife packed out of my house because i was unable to take care of her and my kids at that particular time. i manage all through five years, no wife to support me to take care of the children and there come a faithful day that i will never forget in my life i met an old friend who i explain all my difficulties to, and he took me to a spell caster and and the name of the temple is called, okundonorgreatspell, i was assure that everything will be fine and my wife will come back to me after the wonderful work of dr okundonorgreatspell, my wife came back to me and today i am one of the richest man in my country. i advice you if you have any problem email him with this email: dr.okundonorgreatspell@gmail.com and you will have the best result. take things for granted and it will be take from you.

Reply

anne November 3, 2008 at 10:16 am

Hey guys!
I cant even believe this site. I am going through the exact same thing only it is with my 14 and11 yr. daughters. In fact, I just got served papers today for his full custody. We have been going through this for 1 and a half yr. He has completely suceeded in alienating my girls from me. I have never felt so defeated. I dont understand why they cant see how damaging this is to the children.

Reply

lje November 3, 2008 at 12:55 pm

I am about ready to lose it emotionally!!! My child that has kept telling that there was emotional/ physical abuse just told me that they had lied about everything, then turned around told me is it all right that I told daddy that we talked and then that the new wife was hitting and pushing my ex husband. Fo 3 yrs I was told and csb was told that bad things were happening.

Everyone says that he is bing programed by by ex to set up to take custody from me.

We all need to help one another

Mia mama if your still reading these post plz help

Reply

lje November 7, 2008 at 2:02 pm

Anne

Are you out there? Are you ok? How is everything going? Take Care and God Bless!!!

Reply

Sheryl December 10, 2008 at 8:56 pm

I just said good-bye to my son who is almost 17. My eyes are swollen from crying for the past 2 days. He wants to be with his Dad now and I don’t think it’s a good idea but I am letting him try it for a month. His Dad is a really great Dad and all but I feel that he is doing this for the wrong reasons. My son has treated me terribly the past year or so and finally I agreed to this trial period. He is my baby and I am divorced. He is everything to me. But maybe it is time.

Reply

Rhonda January 8, 2009 at 11:02 am

I am going through another custody battle with my ex husband that we have been divorced for 8 years. I have went in front of the same judge for a number of custody, divorce, domestic abuse from my ex. I have won sole custody 3 times. Just in the last two years I have moved to CA. for a year then moved to vegas when I became engaged. My ex took me back to court again because I moved to Las Vegas. I went to court without my lawyer to ask for an extention on the case because I needed to find another lawyer and the same judge gave my ex temp custody of my 9 year old son. It has been one year since then. I have since broke up with my ex boyfriend but now I am married and expecting another child in July. I did move to Europe and I m going to court this month to fight for my sole custody rights back. When temp. custody was given to my ex there was no grounds other than the judge thought Las Vegas was not a place for my son. No other reasons that day did she give and I had no legal rep. that day. I have been proven over and over again in court that I am a great mother and the old judge always gave me my rights. I feel very upset this time around because I feel there should of ben no reason for the temp. custody. I have a great lawyer now but he thinks with me moving twice and two realtionships in two years nd now I live in europe that this will be a big fight. I was told no judge wants a child moving away to europe. I don’t understand since my son has always been wth me for 8 years this is hurting my son he is not happy there with his father and his fathers girlfriend. My lawyer is having my 9 year old son testify along with my ex husbands other ex wife . What do you think I am worried???

Reply

maria November 21, 2011 at 7:18 am

you should be should have stayed your hot behind in one place and did the right thing….but noooo love interests always supercede the kids …..i hope it was good to you

Reply

Kay January 8, 2009 at 12:16 pm

Well, my ex is talking about custoday of my 6 and 8 year old. Only because he feels they will have a family environment. He wants to marry his GF and she has two kids – whom I think are fantastic. They live two and a half hours from where we are currently planted… he asked if I would move there – I did go out of fairness and stayed a weekend, but it’s a very small area compared to where we are and I have worked from home for four years and now want to get back into the working world when our son is in 1st grade. There are barely any job opportunities where they are compared to here. He’s a software consultant so it’s easy for him to get a high paying job. She’s in an xray position at the hospital, so they aren’t worried about themselves. They feel that the boys would benefit more from a stable family environment than a single parent, whose boyfriend lives 6 hours away. However, I take them to movies, am patient with homework, etc. He feels that there would be another person always to look after them in emergency, as I have to call people, he feels that since her daughter is 12, almost 13, there would be someone there after school if needed. My boys are 6 and 8. Her other son (ex’s girlfriend) is 6 also. I am always providing them with hugs, love, and patience. Things he doesn’t have, however, I know she does. I am an EXCELLENT parent… FANTASTIC. The ONE thing I KNOW I am unbelievably good at. Perfect, nope, but I can say my kids are two of the best mannered and well behaved I have met. Very loving as well. So, what are the chances that he has a leg to stand on??? I always hear the courts won’t take the children out of the home if there’s no just cause, however, I think things are changing. Oh, and he has a lot of money, so he can afford to take them to Disney, etc., but I take them to parks, Fun World, go karts, bowling, batting cages, movies, etc. Every time I call to see what they are doing at his house they are playing video games. They are currently sitting on my floor playing video games. Yesterday they were coloring. We both have things to offer. What do I do?

Reply

maria November 21, 2011 at 7:16 am

you sound like an excellent normal human being for a change …after i read some of those other posts in here

Reply

Dawn January 8, 2009 at 1:14 pm

Take a deep breath.
I’m no expert. I’ve gone down this path. He makes a quarter mil and I am a student. I fought the same battle for three years and became a certified mediator in the process. My measures were extreme … but then again, some things are not negotiatble. Right?

So, what are the chances that he has a leg to stand on??? YOU DO if you have been the one who has been the main caretaker of your children since they were born. Working at home stacks odds in your favor, and so do a few others things. Find an attorney you have full faith in Kay. Be like a dog.

Reply

mssinglemama January 8, 2009 at 1:50 pm

Kay – I think it depends on the state you live in…

but it’s very hard for a father to gain full custody if you children are happy, healthy and living mostly full-time with you.

Keep us posted.

Reply

Rhonda January 9, 2009 at 7:56 pm

So does anyone have any feedback on my last posting?

Reply

LJe January 13, 2009 at 7:13 am

I feel for you guys!!!! I have posted the same stuff ( see above). Its a major worry. Were still in court. He just now started doing her homework and we now had to hire another attorney ( guardian lietum). I do not have the money to keep this up. I am a nursing student. Everyone one says this is a joke and he is only doing this for the money that he would be gaining and to hurt me. I gave up the house and rights of splitting everything to keep our daughter and have her for all holidays. He wanted his money and that is what he got.

Anyone know anything about a guardian of lietum? We haven’t met her yet? I moved 45 minutes away from where my ex lives? Will that have an effect if I keep her or not??

I am remarried. My daughter loves her step dad and calls him dad most of the time. We have a home. My daughter is an A’ student and is involved in church as well as extra activities. My ex calls his call is returned within 48 hours. He never lets me speak to her even when she askes to call me. I volunteer at the school one day a wk (I love all the little ones). He has even told me he doesn’t want custody and his mistress that he married does’nt have custody of her daughter and from what i understand only sees her mom when she need money. My lawyer says he doesn’t have a chance. Things don’t always go the way we think they will, so I am still afrais and I know how dirty and vindictive his family are ( I have been apart of their meanness and witness it).

What do you guys think that have already been threw this ???

My prayers all out there for all you guys. !!!!!

Reply

LJe January 13, 2009 at 7:17 am

******************Rhonda,***************************************

I am in a simular boat. I wish that I could give you the encoragement that you need and the right advice.

I can offer you support through this website. Hang in there!!! Remember you are fighting because you love your child and want to protect them

Reply

Dawn January 13, 2009 at 8:17 am

These situations warrant evaluation and cause fear. Makes it difficult to see clear the steps out sometimes. The plot is thick. Silence the ‘worse thing possible scenario’ creating thoughts in your mind. Focus back on what you want, sit and play with your children. Find patience with all things not in your hands, see what you have in your hands. Think of yourself as the author. (one of the authority figures of a team)

Document events as they happen on your own and invite the interest of a school counselor, a social worker, or better, a licensed psychologist. Authorize an exploration of all things that concern the life of this child. Be clean, there’s no need to manipulate any situation. Steer clear of your fears walking through this maze. It’s just a puzzle. Some of the pieces may not fit. Rely on your instinct, interview possibility.

Find silence each day.

Reply

LJe January 13, 2009 at 9:11 am

Dawn thank you for today peace!!! You are right, but as you know it is hard to juggle everyday stress let alone the fear the devil puts in our soul of losing our babies. I often look to this site for peace of mind and a support system.

I printed out what meomama wrote a while back and read it often. I have not changed any of my mothering since this crap started, if anything I may be more linnet for fear of the fact he has convince her to live with them. I have had custody for 3 yrs. She is now seven. I have been told by friend to write down peoples names that the mediator can contact regarding my mothering and known us (my ex and I ) when we were together and both were able to parent her. Like I said she is seven and believe it or not she still remembers him throwing her Easter egg across the room when she was really young.

I pray that God bless all of us on this site and give all of us strength to get through these rough times with our precious babies and not let our children suffer at all.

Reply

mssinglemama January 13, 2009 at 9:49 am

I’m thinking of all of you – and I can not even imagine having to fight for custody like this. It is – indeed – any single mother’s personal nightmare.

Please continue your conversation here… I know you’re all helping each other where my words fall short, because this is an arena I can’t even begin to fathom.

Reply

Dawn January 14, 2009 at 8:18 am

I’m grateful LJe that you’ve found some peace. These situations oft leave one feeling as though they need to prove themselves as a good parent. You know that you are and that’s what matters most.

I have traveled this road too many times: 3x married

The journey allowed me a huge life lesson. It was the best gift of all. The most empowering thing that happened for me was realizing no matter what happened I would still be the mother. I would still be the biggest influence in the lives of my children no matter what.

It allowed me to walk through the fear.

Reply

LJe January 14, 2009 at 10:37 am

Why are the one who cheated or wanted out of the marriage so miserable?????? Can someone give me an understanding why it has to be come vengeful and dirty???? Maybe I am a 40 yr old Pollyanna but it doesn’t make since. My ex cheated and he got what he wanted in the divorce decree, but he seems to become more cunning and selfish. He married the other women. I am remarried and I am the happiest I have ever been. My ex was mean before I got married!! I just want everyone to get along, but he’s trying to take our daughter away even when he tells me he DOESN”T WANT CUSTODY> Anyone make any sence out of this madness??????

Reply

Ms. Single Mama January 14, 2009 at 10:53 am

LJe – honestly – sounds to me like he still wants you or your attention. Unfortuantely it probably has nothing to do with the kids.

Reply

Dawn January 14, 2009 at 12:18 pm

Might help if you understood the game.

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse.html

Reply

Dawn January 14, 2009 at 12:28 pm

If you would like to reach me during this time of madness, to keep from going insane. Follow the bread crumbs over to my other site:

http://www.obrienmediation.com

Reply

LJe January 14, 2009 at 3:29 pm

ok I will……… follow the yellow road…….. follow the yellow rd

(LOL) Toado I don’t think were in Kansas any more

Reply

LJe January 15, 2009 at 6:03 pm

Dawn your site won’t let me email you,.

Reply

Dawn January 15, 2009 at 6:23 pm

LJe the link is my name on the contact page which is as easy as dawn at obrienmediation dot c o m

Reply

Anonymous January 22, 2009 at 7:28 am

Hey anyone still out there???

Reply

kevin ferguson April 24, 2009 at 7:37 pm

i cant believe how the women act im going through a divorce now with a 2 year old son my ex wants full custody, no way will i give it to her shes not a U S citizen has no family hear and wants to move into the city my son has been with me all the while shes out running around we have a nice little farm hes happy with me and i have a large family around to help out to why is it that you women think only of your selfs and try to get the chid and keep them from their dads as much as possiable? its the most cruel thing you could ever do im getting where i hate women

Reply

Lindy July 22, 2009 at 7:01 am

“Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.” As I sat here and read all the blog of you couragous, loving, but scared moms I can honestly say that I can relate and understand your pain, fears, hurts, betrayl & broken hearts. I was there a year ago, when my ex served me papers asking for full custody of my 14 year old son. I went into a complete rage of “how could he do this to me, I raised my son without any financial support from his dad, oh *ell no I said” After getting my emotions back into control and really seeing the whole picture for what it truly is. I had to ask myself some really hard, unselfish questions. “What are we fighting for? What am I willing to give up? What and why am I so afraid of? and my list went on and on……As I prayed (the only answer to everything in life for me) I asked the Lord to show me what to do and what He wanted me to do. Ladies as hard as it is to admit things that are true, what I found to be true is that I didnt have to fight to win my son’s love, I already poured into his life what he needed. I learned that love is not selfish, it is not rude, it doesnt hold back. Love doesn’t sufficate, love doesnt hold any grudges nor seeing wrong. What lies underneath it all is that when we refuse to let go, we dont allow our children to learn and grow. Letting go of your child doesnt make you unfit, it makes you stronger. We all have free will and choices that we make each and every day. I lacked self confidence in the parent area, but what I realized is that I am not a perfect mom. I did the best I could do to raise my son ( I have 2 boys) and the truth is that I cant help my son be a man because Im not a man. As hard as it was for me to admit this to myself I had to really see who am I really hurting? MY SON! Ladies, trust what you taught your boys. Dont under estimate your kids. They need to see for themselves, what they will discover is who they are and where do they come from. It will actually help them into their adulthood to become the men that they need to be. In the end, I asked my son what he wanted and he told me he want’s to go live with dad. I chose to respect my son as a human being with feelings too, and allowed him to experience for himself. Eventually the truth that all of us seek for comes out. Whether your ex is a manipulated, controller, abuser, etc…what’s done in the dark will come out to the light. I know my God is in control of all this and I trust that everything in His timing will work out together for good. Our boys will grow up one day and will see you as the strong woman, as the rock in his life. Im still waiting and will continue to wait until my son comes back, and when he does I will be right there waiting with open arms, with more love to pour into and with a clean forgiving heart. Ladies pray, seek God’s wisdom remember God gave you your children, they are only ours temporary. He loves them more than we do and He has a wonderful plan for there life. Remember you will always be there moms no matter what happens in life. They only have one mom and your it! You were chosen. I love you all!!!

Reply

singlemominacrazy world April 9, 2010 at 2:37 pm

I am a single mom now for seven years. My ex who i was not married to has fought me on custody, child supposrt, men I date, which I have had 1 3 year relationship that ended neatly and I am currently in one and have been for what will be three years in June! He and I are very happy, we do everything together and have recently decided to move in together. My kids father is trying to relocate and gain full custody! He married some wack job he calls a wife who mentally, physically and verbally abuses her own kids and her husband(my ex) and has behaved this way in front of my kids. His argument is my living unmarried with a man! What the hypocrite doesn’t realize is he and I had two children out of wed lock-llived together during our entire relationship of 6.5 years! And he even got his current wife pregnant out of wedlock and hurried up and married her before she had the baby! So his new found religion is I am teaching my kids dishonesty and a sin by living unmarried! Now we are going to court and he trying to say I am unfit, bad mom! I have a great job working for government defense, i spend good quality time with my kids, I am always there and available to them, no drugs or alcohol so really MEN what makes me a bad mom?????? Granted there are dads out there who do the same but dont be a hypocrite and criticize your ex who lives the life you presented to her!

Reply

Kady August 27, 2010 at 3:24 am

Thank – You all! I’m so glad I fell onto this site. I am in excruciating pain. My X traded our marriage for a Harley Davidson. Obviously more to the neglect, verbal abuse. I was a doormat , maid , cook, secretary. He never even purchased me a Mothers Day gift. For the first 8 years I did everything. Leaving him prooved to make the abuse worse. Every other weekend Hell! I did nothing for me for 11 years all our friends were his, and I had no familiy or support. I was controlled drinker all through our marriage, at one point I felt it was getting out of control and asked him to not bring alcohol home. His response ” If I want a *&*&*& bear in my home I’ll have one. If he changed 5 diapers in 5 years or bathed our son 2 in 5 years thats a lot. We were in Forclosure for 3 time and he had 12 jobs in 10 years. The life energy was sucked out of me by the time I left him. Single Parent (forced) He visitation every other week and 1 day during the week which he never utilized. 2 week uninterupted vacation which he never utilized. Until he met his girlfriend and became Father of the year according to him. He’s Narcisist and everyone buys it. My drinking problem increased after the divorce and because of fear of him I pick a very tough guy. Thinking he’d protect me, only to abuse me worse than a horror movie. Much more I could say of torments from outside and I’ve been in counceling and rehab clean sober 18 months plus psycho therapy. Between these two men I almost lost my mind and had nervous breakdown. I was abused mothers day by new husband and after 20 days sober I took my son to park 1 block away and if I told you the events of that day you would not believe. It would take me two pages and so involved. Long story I got a DUI. Lost my licence for 12 mnths and no one to help me. My new husband abandoned us and the verbal attacks not only began but increased plus tag team new girlfriend. In middle of all this I purchased a home (in my name) my home I was so proud. Again made a poor choice to find another bad boy to protect me, he set me up with friends, I was suppose to stay weekend they fed me 2 drinks and he tossed me out of the house with my son 30 miles from home. I went accross street to sleep in a parking lot and the employee called police second DUI. At this point I was walking in state of Nervous breakdown for over 1 year now facing Prison. I am 48 and never been in trouble with the law. My X phoned and told me give up custody or I’ll make it ugly for you one time prior. I hired a lawyer $2500.00 initial fee. To find out no motion was filed he was assuming it would scare me to give custody voluntarillly. I broke out in hives and was told I could have died called a stress allergy. So after the second DUI, he began to threaten again, at this point I believed my son would be better off, so I signed over custody. I could not afford a lawyer to fight the lawyer he hired. I was in no state of mind to make that decision and had gone through all this and much more completely alone. 1 year later , my son is failing in school, he has been moved 3 times due to there domestic problems and I hear from my son his girlfriend has a DUI and drinking problem by now I have been sober 1 year and intensive counceling 3 days per wk. X calls me and tells me Ben wants to come home and he’s going to let him. I was estatic the tears of joy were like a waterfall. He came home , In the 8 months his grades went up 2 levels. In May I get a phone call. X yelling screaming telling me I failed to correct an eating problem and he’s taken Ben back in June. Police told me I had to give Ben back cause he still had legal custody. I decided to file a motion on my own and be my own lawyer. I thought surely the Judge would see. Well he lied and said I and he had an agreement that he was taking Ben back. Never did I agree, nor did my son know it was temporary we were both devistated. It took me 3 months of canatonic depression and suicidle , to finally work through all the emotions to acceptance. Only to be made to go through letting go again. Well Judge could not decide and ordered a best interest eval. Well catch is X has a new girlfriend he moved in with after a few months. Shes an RN and raised 5 well educated children. I am on unemployment looking for work. I have tons of Exhibits on the types of behaviors and emotional abuse both Ben and I plus examples of parental allienation. I can also say that my and my sons bond is almost non existant , I was ordered to send son back in June Status Quo. We are close to day of final decision. The psychiatrist spoke to one of my friends and he asked her about my stability. He also told her what a wonderful women my X new girlfriend is. My X cant help pay the bills , from her mouth in front of me and the psychiatrist. I had a very troubled childhood but for 30 years overcame my past no trouble, until the last 3 years. But even all through the severe abuse my son and I maintained High A,B average and awards. For 8 years this man did nothing but pay child support never visited school or sacrificed. I could go on and on. Oh God. It’s cost me 1000.00 and I do not have a good feeling I’ve been sobbing all day filled with such shame , guilt for allowing this to happen. I needed help not to loose my child….I’m afraid my son will be manipulated into hating me. I read your posts and yet ashamed to share all this with you, I need help. I am not in anyway going to drink again. But the pain is so severe, I am knumb. Any help advise encouragement ?

Reply

maria November 21, 2011 at 7:10 am

You sound like you have some serious issues ..with accepting responsibilities…and if you think a mother for a drunk is such a great life for a kid ..the booze must have deluted your thinking ….so lets see your a drunk you pick bad man to father your children and additional bad man because you dont learn anything from previous mistakes ..what you need is to sober up ..and take responsibility for your actions you incredible useless human being …the problem with folks like YOU always an excuse why they are drubks weak or druggies ….put your child up for adoption ..apparently you are both useless as parents.

Reply

Bruce Rushing August 31, 2010 at 12:55 pm

To whom it may concern-I have been divorced since 1999. Our daughter is 15, and I let her mom have custody but we have joint custody. I pay $766.00 plus ins. The mom met a guy on a dating site, moved in with him, and left my kid with her daughter from another marriage, at her same address. She has 4 kids as well, so 6 people in little house. problem: I live 28 miles away and the daughter refuses to live with me because of school, friends, etc. How can the decree state she have custody, yet never hardly see her nor even live with her?Can I force a judge to say GET YOUR KID to my ex?

Reply

maria November 21, 2011 at 7:12 am

get your daughter NOW …stop being weak

Reply

hlw August 31, 2011 at 9:47 am

For one its obvious the mother couldnt get sole custody, second the boy wants to be with the fatjer and the girl wants to be with the mom, sounds like the mom just wants the kids to herself and do whats in the best interest of the child, to many moms use parental alienation to drive off the other parent well now judges are finally seeing how screwed up the kids get. I have custody of my two year old and it was hard but The only one who loses is the child, my ex gets all visitation she wants but doesnt choose too but good parents understand that a child NEEDS both and there shouldnt be limits and games on a parennts relationship with a child.

Reply

robert November 28, 2011 at 9:27 am

i raised four children with full custody and a no access order

your children just grow up and hate you anyways

now i am just looking to find a woman with a farm or ranch that i can live in the barn and work full time for free
I just want to live in the country and work I have no family or friends
integrity@cyg.net Robert
if anyone knows a family or a woman that farms and wants free help
its just the three of us now me 45 and my daughter 24 and my son
16
the others have been gone for five years now
and they wont see me again so i just want to live my life
and work for someone for a place to live

Reply

mommyneedshelp December 28, 2011 at 1:05 pm

I have had full physical custody of my son for 3 years, and my ex now wants to take full custody, because he is angry with me. He is throwing all kinds of horrible accusations out there and trying to prove me unfit, but when we divorced, he GAVE me full custody. We never fought about it or even went to court, I asked for it, and he agreed. What chance does he have? We live in MN if that helps.

Reply

Spring Bailey February 2, 2012 at 8:39 pm

I am going through a very similar situation right now. My ex and I have 50/50 joint physical custody. We share the kids everyother weekend. Our children are two little girls age 7 and 4. We are both great parents and love the girls dearly. We divorced 3 years ago. Both got remarried and that’s when crap hit the fan. He now thinks his new wife is a better mom than i am and makes no bones about telling me so. He is taking me to court in March because he now wants full custody. He is claiming that i physically and psychologically abuse my girls. He complains that i don’t change there nailpolish often enough, and they get bug bites and sunburns when they are with me. He thinks i am a terrible mother because i visit my kid for lunch at school and attned girl scout meetings. I wish i could get inside this guy’s mind. The only conclusion i can come up with is that men like this suffer from narcissistic personality disorder. they can’t go on in life unless they get everything they want and will continue to make your life a living hell as long as you live. Mind you he got everything he wanted out of our divorce. I walked away from our home and everything we had to become a single mom, work two jobs, and suffer financially. He has a very well paying job and had the nerve to try to get me to help pay off his 35,000 student loans when we divorced. There is so much more i could say but i would be typing for days!! His wife is behind him on all of this and agrees i am an unfit mother. she has 3 kids of her own and for one second i wish she would think about how whe would feel if she were in my shoes. She just does what she is told. i know…. i lived with her husband for 10 years. Of course all of this court stuff freaks me out but at the end of the day i know i am a great mom and i have done the best i can. The only ones who suffer in these situations are the kids, but sadly he does not see this. I understand what your friend is going through, but try not to let it get to you. You just have to be the bigger person here.

Reply

Augustin3 March 7, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Hi ladies, and “robert” not cool buddy, most of these moms are hurting and not looking to get creeped on. This thread has been running for a few years now and I’m curios to see what happened with Tricia; by now your son is at least 13. My parents never broke up but if they had, and sometimes I wonder if they should have, I would have lived with dad. Mom was always loving and caring but very controlling. It’s not a bad thing you know, I would still have loved my mom and visited her all the time {especially since my dad couldn’t cook to save this planet if it was our only hope}.

I am now a father, I am almost 30 and love my daughter to death {she’s 5}. Mom and I broke up, she made many claims and so did I. First final order gave me residency with rights on religion, schooling/education, and equal on health. She wasn’t happy and took me to court again, this time all that happened was court costs and heavily worded order to reinforce the second {I defended the position that mom should have equal access}. Not all dads are bad you know, we know our children very well and instinctively protect them and when we truly hone that we see that mom is important too. Dad in this case is happy to have his child wanting to live with him but needs to step back. What’s mom doing that’s so bad that you push that thought onto your child? Again, nothing wrong with son wanting to live with dad or mom as long as it’s son’s idea. I think that if he wants that, let him.

Some of the moms here…. your children are not property and believe me when I tell you that the court is not biased. They will look at what the child wants, especially at the age of 8+. You think that moms have full rights to children but its not true, only reason why you assume that is that you hear 87% of moms have custody but don’t realize that less than 2% go to trial and that it’s a 50/50 split in who gets it. Being vindictive will show and bite you in the court.

Again for Tricia, what did happen? and since then how is relationship with dad? Once things calm down most people just want to be at peace and be happy. Best of luck.

Reply

Liz March 19, 2012 at 1:57 am

Ok so I read some comments and it just blows my mind how messed up the system really is. Well I have a six year old daughter and a two year old daughter. My youngest daughter’s father and I are friends and he is a good dad. My oldest daughter’s father was abusive so I left him but have been in and out of court since she was a baby. He is very controling along with the rest of his family. After years of him not paying support he is now trying to get half custody. He has a recent battery charge against his current live in girlfriend and is not consistant with his visitation can he really get half custody now. What should I do?

Reply

Omes F April 1, 2013 at 11:37 pm

Reading a few of these comments and been there did that. My daughter is 27 and when she was 15 she wanted to live with her Dad who had come back into the picture after seven years of wanting no contact, but only after he became bored with the girlfriend he left his family for. I allowed her to do so, against all common logic, but wanting what she so desperately seemed to want and need. It was the biggest mistake I have ever made and it showed me that even a 15 year old is not reasonably equipped to make a decision like this, because it is almost always emotional, not logic driven. Once it’s done, it’s difficult to undo. I gave up her child support, cried myself to sleep every night and worried myself sick, because I knew the man and understood why he was so willing to take her. I also knew he was unable to “follow through” and would likely not follow through with taking on a full time parent role either. She was back home after 1 1/2 years after basically being abandoned. During that time it was heartbreaking, the phone calls when she was left alone, scared, etc. But, according to him, it would be better at his house, with his wife, nice house, etc. I felt guilty that I did not have the financial means equal to his (never mind I fought for the little support I did get, when ever I was fortunate enough to get it, which wasn’t very often.) And, I did not want to be the “bad” buy by saying no to my daughter, even though I knew in my heart how it would turn out. My daughter had never failed a grade, and she ended up dropping out, etc. If his leaving the first time didn’t effect her enough, the second abandonment was the icing on the cake. Children’s requests to live with the non-custodial parent can often be derived from manipulation, whether it be via words or actions ( i.e., vacations, toys, video games, no rules, or even more blatant manipulation via alienation of affection, bad mouthing the custodial parent, or even making the child feel guilty by crying,making the child feel bad or worried. Non custodial parents who move on and have other children must realize that this may have an effect on visiting children who may feel “left out” of the two parent family. Don’t be a bad parent and feed into this. By doing so you are most likely trying to ease your own guilt, and are not justifiable reasons to take a child or children from the custodial parent. Any parent who truly cares about their child’s welfare won’t want to take them from a stable, loving environment, friends, school, etc., just to fulfill their own selfish needs, to avoid support, or for any reason that would not benefit the child’s safety or well being by 110%. There are men (and women probably have been known to do it too) who remarry then decide they are now the better parent, the perfect family, and will project this on their kids… or will attempt to take the children from their custodial parent who is single. Stop confusing these kids, parents work together to support each other. Non custodial parents, as much as you might miss your kids, remember, if your ex is doing a good job, if the kids are doing well, healthy, in school, participating, grow up, put your feelings aside and don’t upset the apple cart. It was hard enough for the child the first time, let them have some stability, help them to adjust to a new “norm.” Remember, kids will be adults soon enough, and they are adults much longer than they will be children. Do the right thing now, and enjoy a lifetime with them, do it wrong and you may never get to enjoy the extended benefits as they become adults, like graduations, weddings, Grandkids, etc. :) Moms and Dads who have primary custody, don’t take it personally or literally if your child comes back from a visit and thinks they want to live at the other parents home. IMHO, Take it with a grain of salt, give a big hug, and let them know that you love them. If the requests become unusually excessive, seek some counseling before putting the child through another change.

Reply

tori April 6, 2013 at 1:06 pm

My ex husband has been living with another woman for 6 years. I was so unhappy , I tried but I don’t want other men… I tried to get him back but it didn’t work!
i almost gave up! but i never lost hope because i know i will get him back someday and today as i am saying prophetsalifu did for me, he brought back my husband and our marriage has been in a good shape and our marriage is getting perfect like never before, prophetsalifu@yahoo.com IS AMAZING SPELL CASTER. I NEVER EXPERIENCED SOMEONE SO ACCURATE LIKE HIM, HE IS THE GREATEST.. I CANNOT FIND THE WORDS TO TELL HOW EXTREMELY HAPPY I AM FOR PROPHETSALIFU TO GET MY MAN BACK, ANYONE OUT THERE WHO IS LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS, HONEST, SPELL CASTER DOWN TO EARTH PERSON SHOULD CONTACT PROPHETSALIFU .
JADA

Reply

jennifer May 10, 2013 at 11:05 pm

I am jennifer, I want to share my testimonies with the general public to help me thanks my best friend Nancy who Introduce me to DR.olokun, the great priest spell caster from Africa were the greatest spell caster in found and he help me solve my problem. This great Spell Caster help me brings back my lost family, lover, husband to me with his great job spell caster within 7 days, when i thought life will never going to be the same again. We were married for 12 years with 2 kids, after all those years, I find out my husband was having affair with another woman which hurt me and broke my heart into pieces because i care so much for him. I tried all my best to stop him for seing another woman But he would not listen me. On Feb 2008, i came back home from work and meet my husband have pack out to my unknow destination area in PA and left me a letter. For the past 2 years, I have been looking for a way to brings him back home till a friend of mine introduce me to DR.olokun, the great priest spell caster by giving me his email address and cell phone number to contact him. I never thought i will workout But you won’t believed it when i contacted this man my problems solve and my lost Husband came back home to me After 3 years and ask me for a forgiveness and he said is was devils work, that he do love me. I must confess that DR.olokun is a great speell caster i have never seen in my life before. Now i and my husband, kids are living together in a happy home , Thanks to DR.olokun. I pray that God should continiue to bless him with the power of spell caster to help other people that have same problem. If you are having same problem I refare you to contact DR.olokun Today Via his email contact address: dr.drolokuntemple@gmail.com for his good work and you will never ramain the same again. Good Luck.

Reply

Luis Mary June 8, 2013 at 9:30 pm

After being in relationship with Wilson for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don’t believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called EZE MALAKA and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email:extremewhitelovespell@yahoo.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS:extremewhitelovespell@yahoo.com CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS

Reply

maya boris October 28, 2013 at 2:52 am

I am so pleased with the help that the great spell caster called ASHRA gave to me when my lover left me, Within the period

of 48 hours love spell caster ashra was able to bring my lover back to me. This is the more reason why i recommend ashra

services to everyone who are having difficulties in there relationship to forward there complains to spell caster ashra

through his contact details email: ashraspelltemple@gmail.com or call ashra on personal phone number +2348058176311

MAYA BORIS

Reply

sonia paul December 10, 2013 at 7:25 pm

want to give a special thanks to DRCUBATEMPLE that helped me got my partner back. my name is SANDRA DICKSON, early this year, i and my husband started having some issues and he left me and the kids even when i loved him so much. I was fustrated to the extent that i started looking for links on the internet on how to get him back. One day i came accross a testimony in which a lady was testifying of how this DR; CUBA helped her got her man back i was able to contact this DR;CUBA and helped me put everything in order and my husband came back to me just as i wanted. this DR; CUBA is great if you know you have any problem here is his email address DRCUBATEMPLE@GMAIL.COM

Reply

Monica February 24, 2014 at 4:37 pm

Unfortunately I’m going thru almost the same but divorce is not involved. I reside in MS but the children’s whatever u may call him now resides in VA. I have received a petition for paternity and custody. I have some many questions….how can I protect my children? Do I have to give paternity even if I don’t want too?

Reply

Cassandra February 28, 2014 at 9:44 am

Hello my name is Cassandra from Canada, My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. I contacted you and after I explained you my problem. In just 3 days, my husband came back to us and show me and my kids much love and apologize for all the pain he have bring to the family. We solved our is sues, and we are even happier than before you are the best spell caster Dr mako, i really appreciate the love spell you castes for me to get the man back to my life i will keep sharing more testimonies to people about your good work Thank you once again at (makospiritualtemple@gmail.com). in case you are in any problem you can contact this man for help he is always there in his temple to help you solve your problem Contact Email is (makospiritualtemple@gmail.com)..

Reply

Miller March 7, 2014 at 6:44 pm

My wife has accused me of a lot of things in our years of marriage some of those accusation were true and i admitted to doing them but am to much in love with her to give her an s.t.d. She was down to end our marriage cos she believed i gave an s.t.d. She had a good reason to believe that cos of late i haven’t been the best husband. Thank God that s@@t was clarified in the Trisha show that i was not responsible for the s.t.d. She was in love with me as i was in love with her. Yes i will admit to the fact that i f$$ked up so many times but we always got around our problem i don’t mean avoid it i mean we fixed our problem like real adults but my stepson always thought i was not good enough for his mother. We never really got along. I never hated him, but he just didn’t like me and i wasn’t gonna suck up to him.He just wanted me out of their life and our problem just made it possible for him to see that happen cos he also accused me of giving my wife, his mother s.t.d. I agreed to do the Trisha show thinking maybe it will help fix our marriage but it made it even worse. After the show she was more down to leave me. She asked that i move out of the house filed for a divorce and all. I thought she will come to her sense and see that though she had s.t.d i still wanted to be with her. I thought if i should give her time the anger and bitterness will die but it didn’t even after a whole month after everything.She had the divorce papers delivered to me. I could not let her go just like that.I got desperate and i started panicking so i used a spell to get her back i know most people don’t believe and you may call me crazy but it worked for me. I found a comment on the Internet about this spell caster Metodo Ell. The comment said he doesn’t do spell for those who are not meant to be together. I mean i believe with all my heart that she is the one thing i needed in my life and i also know she needs me too so i thought he could help me get her back.He agreed to help me cos he also said we are soul mate.All i needed for the spell were materials to get the spell done. I could not get them so i paid him to get them for me since he is the expert in this stuff.After three days, he sent me a substance with instructions on how to make the spell effective and i did as he directed but honestly it took seven days to work i guess good things don’t work like zap. As far as i can tell that s$$t worked cos all my marriage problem just fell off my shoulder AFTER THE SPELL WAS CAST.My wife didn’t go through with the divorce and stepson is cool with me now. If you want to get him to cast a spell for you contact him here with this email address metodoacamufortress@yahoo. com he could also do a direct spell maybe it meant cost a little more than mine i don’t know him only can tell you that..

Reply

name me April 19, 2014 at 8:34 pm

My name is really not important here cos all i can say is that if you need a spell caster to help you with your problem then the best one is MUTTON OSUN. He is the only reliable spell caster i know.This is not just cos he helped me i mean if you are reading this comment on the internet, you will definitely see other comment about how he has saved relationship with his spell,helped people win lottery and i read one a man named Sandburg don’t know if its his real name said MUTTON OSUN help with a spell to secure a job and bring back wife who left him.I am composing this comment to pin the fact that MUTTON OSUN has also helped me.After six years of marriage it hard to really understand when your wife is see another man and asking for a divorce just so see can be with him.It so hard for me cos i thought we were doing fine.Maybe i was too blind that i didn’t know something was wrong with us or i wasn’t giving her the attention she needed.Which ever which way there was something that i knew,she was breaking my heart and i still loved her with my life.I know people may probably say it unlike a man but i lost my virginity to her and sine then there have been no other in my life but her.I gave up everything for her My family, and everything and everyone that wanted us not to be.I could not imagine how she could be so heartless and so unfaithful i mean i gave her my life!.I was ready to let her go i left our house and her new painter boyfriend moved in.They turned my private store room to his art studio and started sharing my bed with my wife.He was practically living my life for me cos everything i had in our house was converted to his.With every day that passed grew mad at the painter cos i was still in love with my wife she is the only family i have left and in my head i thought i just lost her to another man after all the sacrifice i have made to see us together.Before i even thought of spell casting i tried the memory lane method but she was not even willing to talk to me for more than a minute or even have a bit with me it was almost like she was allergic to me after five years of marriage.The thought of another man making love to my wife consumed me i lost focus and was totally confused on what to do.I remember drowning myself with bottles of vodka to kill the pain and try to forget her but i pass out and wake up thinking about her.Just when i thought i needed to get rid of of my cheating wife with the help on the internet, i came across a lot of comment on how MTTON OSUN has helped to get exes back so at that moment i was no longer thinking of how to get rid of her instead i was thinking and willing to do anything just to have my wife back.When i contacted the spell caster that is MUTTON OSUN with the email i saw on the comment he called me, after i made him understand my problem.He told me he was sad for me cos i left my whole world and family for her.He asked that i get some materials i can disclose but it nothing to worry about cos they are totally harmless.I felt it was gonna be hard to send them down to him so i gave him the money for the materials.After two days he sent me a package containing my spell.He instructed me on how to make it effective and i swear on my dead sister grave the spell made my wife mine again,Its was so supernatural how it happened i can’t just explain from how she left the painter and everything beats my imagination all i know is that MUTTON OSUN spell is was powerful enough to get me my wife back.Contact him here for solution to your own problem godsofosunx @ rocketmail. com

Reply

Mike Brown June 4, 2014 at 10:53 pm

I Mr. Mike Brown of ARSENAL LOAN SOLUTIONS give out loan at the rate of 3% interest rate, if you are interested for a loan, you are here by advise to fill and return below this application to this email (arsenalloansolutions@gmail.com) alone to know if you are truly interested in loan. I am here to put smiles in all sad faces.

FULL NAMES:
ADDRESS:
AMOUNT NEEDED:
DURATION OF LOAN:
PURPOSE OF LOAN:
SEX:
COUNTRY:
MARITAL STATUS:
MONTHLY PAYMENT:
PHONE NUMBER:

By replying with these details to ( arsenalloansolutions@gmail.com ), we shall move forward to the next step which is the terms and re-payment plan schedule.

Mr. Mike Brown

Reply

sarah wilfred July 7, 2014 at 1:56 pm

Am here to testify of a great spell caster who is very straight forward with his way of casting spells. When my husband left me for another woman i was so confused,but one a day a friend of mine gave me the email address of this great spell caster called dr zizi, I contacted this man and explained to him all that i was going through,he then told me to be calm and not worry anymore because my case is a very easy one. At first i never believe all that he was saying until when my husband returned home two days later begging me to forgive him all that he has done to me and to please accept him back into my life,I was so amazed,I never believe it was going to happen that fast.
This man is truly great indeed. Contact him today for a perfect solution to your love problem,drzizitemple@gmail.com and +2348101814609

SARAH WILFRED
USA

Reply

Leave a Comment