Newsflash: men are not all azy about romance. They are SCARED. That's right, you're scary. They feel like you do after a rejection and have the same avoidance behaviors. Weird, huh? Men have feelings. Not just beefcake. What a revelation!

Now consider that our culture expects men to nearly always risk rejection and ask you out. Think about the odds of rejection if a man shoots high in the attractiveness stakes, unless you're Brad Pitt or someone.

There. Now do you understand?

Top Spots to Meet Men:

http://mssinglemama.com/2008/01/08/top-spots-to-meet-men/

Very good point. The majority of folks are as you described, let’s say, a bit lower on the physical attractiveness scale than those who usually have the confidence to just go up to strangers and ask them out. That’s why I wrote about a gentler way to ask someone you at least have some acquaintance with out on a date at http://shanelyang.com/2008/01/14/how-to-ask-for-a-date/

These “dates” I describe are all pretty casual and nonthreatening so not only do you find out if that person is into you, you can easily shake it off if you get a negative response.

Also see my related articles: “Why Won’t He Call” at http://shanelyang.com/2008/05/27/why-wont-he-call/ and “Is She Into Me or Just Nice?” at http://shanelyang.com/2008/05/28/is-she-into-me-or-just-nice/

@Ms. Single Mama

Thanks for visiting and commenting on my site! You’re welcome to leave links in the comments anytime — as long as they are on topic as yours definitely have been. ; )

Your generosity with photos proves that you are an attractive woman — most men would consider you well above average on the looks scale. They’d be flattered to be approached by you.

But what if you’re my charming, witty, highly intelligent friend who isn’t what most men would consider, at first glance, to be attractive? She’s the female equivalent of the kind of geeky guy who is balding a bit awkwardly and hasn’t figured out yet that he should just shave his head, who is never quite correctly dressed, and who has a mildly awkward pickup line … though he’s delightful if you let him relax and give him a chance.

We all know what happens to that guy when he approaches women, right? Yeah. It’s painful to watch.

So — is it wise for just any woman to follow this advice? What if you’re the female counterpart to that guy that no woman would ever look at?

And so glad you agree! I know I’m right about this … like you said, confidence is SEXY as hell.