Go pick a man up. I dare you!
It’s Spring. I’m feeling frisky … and I know you are too!
So… I dare you to ask a guy out.
If you’re like me and the idea of going out on a date makes your stomach squirm, then you get a reprieve. It’s only been one week since my break up, so I get to take a time out. As for the rest of you - how long has it been since your last date? If it’s been a while - then why aren’t you out there?
I know it’s a huge pain in the ass to date … but don’t you miss it? Are there any guys you have little crushes on? Could the feeling be mutual? Find out. Ask him. Put yourself out of your misery and just do it.
If you read my blog regularly you know I’m a huge advocate of women taking the plunge and asking men out, flat out
Here are a few little tid bits on asking men out.
1. Men love being asked out, it’s flattering.
2. (If they’re actually single) they rarely say “No.”
3. You seem confident and sexy.
4. You have nothing to lose. At the end of the day you know one way or another whether or not he likes you. Peace of mind is priceless.
5. Your gut is rarely wrong. If he’s been flirting with you or just smiling at you in the coffee shop, he’s probably into you. He’s giving you the green light.
6. Men are lazy when it comes to romance. They prefer it if we do the work - and that includes asking them out.
So I’m daring you all to ask someone out, a stranger, a friend or a crush…here’s how:
Find a common interest through conversation and then ask him if he’d like to join you the next time you go (insert activity here). Offer him your number (don’t get his). Then the ball is back in his court.
See? Easy as pie. Do it! It’s Spring! C’mon!
»So where are you going to find them? Read my Top Spots to Meet Men
Filed under: Dating tips (for the single mama), Dating, sex and love, Uncategorized, how to pick up men
On behalf of all of the men I know, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for this post.
Oh no…it’s a dare. I usually can’t resist a dare. But unless I want to go back to being a single mama again really fast, I better not take you up on it! I’d have one of the shortest marriages-three months!
My girlfriend actually did htis as well. She pursued me from day one. I was dating someone (not exclusively) at the time but had enough time in to not see other people. She kept waffling over the issue, and when my girl started pursuing me I played hard to get (which made it all the more fun) and after three weeks of this, once we went on our first few dates the sparks were already flying. It’s funny, I look back at our earlier e mails and myspace messages and die laughing at how much flirting was going on.
Dammit I was behind a cute man in scrubs today at lunch. I lost nerve as I am having a rough hair day.
QTMama never hesitate. You just lie. Yes, I said lie. Say “Nevermnd the hair, me and a couple coworkers through the pigskin around since the weather is so nice.” Bam. Hot chick, wind blown hair, football. Sign me up. Trust me.
So nice to hear from the men on this one!
Funny because this afternoon Benjamin and I were taking a walk and we saw a super hot firefighter. He invited us to play on the truck, etc. But I just couldn’t ask him out. Not flat out without a reason. They had to run anyway … but he did invite us to come by the station anytime to play with the hoses!
Ummm… definitely on the books for next weekend, just hoping he’s there when I go.
I had a friend mention that he likes hiking in the same canyons I do back in the fall but life got busy (and with the short days it was more difficult to get out). So out of the blue I asked him to come with me last week. We’ve been on three hikes in 8 days (we both live right on the canyons so it is easy to grab a quick 90 minute hike in the evening) AND we went to Earth Day in the park. Now I have to figure out how to ask him for a “real” date or whether to wait and see what he does. I keep being surprised that it has stayed pretty platonic, but men don’t often spend that much time with a woman unless they are interested in something… So I might just have to try the asking…
America…
Here’s what I would do…say, “so there’s this new restaurant (insert name). Have you heard of it?”
Guy’s response: Yes, sounds good, haven’t been there yet either.
You: We should try it sometime…
Period.
Wait and see what he says.
And there you go…then you’ll know. The ball will be in his court and then the hard part comes - waiting to see if he bites at the bait.
If he doesn’t - then at least you know. And odds are he will, because he’ll be attracted to your confidence. We already know he enjoys your company. Three hikes! He might just be thinking the exact same thing you are … but too scared to suggest anything else for fear of … rejection. The same thing you’re scared of.
See?
No fear = answers.
“America…
Here’s what I would do…say, “so there’s this new restaurant (insert name). Have you heard of it?”
Guy’s response: Yes, sounds good, haven’t been there yet either.
You: We should try it sometime…
Period.
Wait and see what he says.”
Man, I liked your first answer better. Can I do it?
America, I dare you to ask him to dinner. Don’t mention some new restaurant hoping he’ll take a hint to ask you– go for it!
Why this “Offer him your number (don’t get his)?” Why be half-assed? If you’re going to ask a dude out, ask a dude out. If you’re going to court a guy, court a guy. Heck, a call ain’t even necessary: “I heard about this new restaurant? Want to go out for a bite? I’ll meet you there for a drink.”
Because, seriously, “waiting for him to call” defeats the confidence of asking him out. “Want to check out this new restaurant? Great. Here’s my number. Now I’ll wait by the phone for you to make the arrangements and invite me to eat with you.”
Will, I couldn’t agree with you more…you’re right. Sounds that you, like me, are an extrovert.
You know what…I think both options work.
But, I wouldn’t call my version “half-assed.” If he is responsive immediately she’ll naturally make the arrangements on the spot. But if not…then there might be some waiting involved. Maybe waiting for him to make up his mind. Every situation is different.
There’s a lot of ways each “pick up” can play out - the key is to just dive in there and do it. You’ll make your own version.
Yeah, you’re right. “Half-assed” was a little harsh. Sorry about that. I just meant going all out, but I also love your idea–that you make your own version of “all out.”
And yes, I’ve probably been called an extrovert before. Among other things.
Ooooh….a hot firefighter. Now, that’s a catch. Time for a tour of the firehouse Benjamin!
[...] Saw the man in scrubs again today. See MsSingleMama’s Post and my comment regarding this. I need to see his left hand, dammit, before I make my move. But [...]
I actually busted up laughing when I read about ‘playing with the hoses.’ Why can’t I get away with this as a pick up line?
“but he did invite us to come by the station anytime to play with the hoses!”
nothing wrong with a little job related inuendo. LOL. i wirk for a natural gas company so in my single days when asked what i did, “I lay pipe.” said with a straight face, then when they giggle, hit em with the, “Get your mind out of the gutter comment.” it seems silly now, I don;t know how my girl ever fell for me, haha.
Go get em singlemama.
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well, I am not sure what to say about all the comments, but I would certainly like to say with regards to your post, that no man could ever like something more than to have the woman ask them out.
I have had women ask me out, and I only say yes because I admire their confidence… not at all interested in the fact that they are not so attractive to me. I just think for a second… NO EFFEN WAY… this girl is out of the blue… just… asking me out?
whereas if we were to ask out them… oh…
whole nother story on that one!
good post ( my god, what is your name? I like to say people’s names when I add in ending expressions like this. There must be a derivative of miss single mama)…
ciao !
Alaina.
And so glad you agree! I know I’m right about this … like you said, confidence is SEXY as hell.
[...] Go pick up a man, I dare you! [...]
This is so interesting … I had a bit of an argument on someone else’s blog recently, in regard to exactly this topic.
Your generosity with photos proves that you are an attractive woman — most men would consider you well above average on the looks scale. They’d be flattered to be approached by you.
But what if you’re my charming, witty, highly intelligent friend who isn’t what most men would consider, at first glance, to be attractive? She’s the female equivalent of the kind of geeky guy who is balding a bit awkwardly and hasn’t figured out yet that he should just shave his head, who is never quite correctly dressed, and who has a mildly awkward pickup line … though he’s delightful if you let him relax and give him a chance.
We all know what happens to that guy when he approaches women, right? Yeah. It’s painful to watch.
So — is it wise for just any woman to follow this advice? What if you’re the female counterpart to that guy that no woman would ever look at?
@davidrochester
Very good point. The majority of folks are as you described, let’s say, a bit lower on the physical attractiveness scale than those who usually have the confidence to just go up to strangers and ask them out. That’s why I wrote about a gentler way to ask someone you at least have some acquaintance with out on a date at http://shanelyang.com/2008/01/14/how-to-ask-for-a-date/
These “dates” I describe are all pretty casual and nonthreatening so not only do you find out if that person is into you, you can easily shake it off if you get a negative response.
Also see my related articles: “Why Won’t He Call” at http://shanelyang.com/2008/05/27/why-wont-he-call/ and “Is She Into Me or Just Nice?” at http://shanelyang.com/2008/05/28/is-she-into-me-or-just-nice/
@Ms. Single Mama
Thanks for visiting and commenting on my site! You’re welcome to leave links in the comments anytime — as long as they are on topic as yours definitely have been. ; )
[...] it’s me doing the asking - if you haven’t read my post on How to Pick Up Men, get over there. Crucial advice for the dating single [...]
Would love to know where to meet these men to pick up!
Here you go April:
Top Spots to Meet Men:
http://mssinglemama.com/2008/01/08/top-spots-to-meet-men/
[...] How to Pick up a Man [...]
[...] been asked out by men a handful of times. Ladies, take note, this is why I encourage all of you to ask them out yourselves. So what do you think? Does she like him (I think so)? And how should he break the ice, take it to [...]