House hunting and man hunting?

by mssinglemama on April 15, 2008

No deal on the house and Kris and I broke up. What a lovely start to the week!

About the house…

I’m actually a bit relieved because after my mom came to see it she was screaming – “no, not a two bedroom and just wait, watch, it’s going to get worse (the housing market).”

She was right. The next day a three bedroom sold down the street for less than I’d be paying for the two bedroom. So no deal. But you know what? At least now I know I’m ready. So … let the house hunt begin.

About the break up…

I’m not going to get into any details because he reads this blog. And out of respect for him and our relationship I’d rather just leave that for us. I will say this – it had nothing to do with the fact that I’m a single mom. And Kris is an amazing guy (one of the best I’ve ever dated). We are just at completely different points in our lives. He’s 24 and I’m 29. He’s in college, I’m a career maven.

I am going to miss him incredibly. I know it. But this is for the best, for all three of us.

And as for a new man hunt? We shall see. If one falls in my lap I might entertain the idea, but I’m definitely not looking. When I met Kris 6 months ago Benjamin was 18 months old. Now he’s two. So if and when I do meet another guy he will not be meeting my son. Those days are over. And I’ll need time to recoup.

And now an entirely new chapter will begin…

Dating with a toddler.

Single Mom Seeking has a fantastic post about having a sex life with an older child in the house. Click here to read it. How do you do it? I can’t even imagine. Soon Benjamin will be able to open his bedroom door, walk downstairs and…well, you get the idea. My solution: hire a sitter and run over for a quickie at his house? Not really sure how it will work.

I’ll be turning to all of you single mamas and papas who have older kids for advice and trying to offer up my own. Hope you stay tuned because, as always, this should be interesting.

[Photo: Buy this awesome poster here!]

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

QTMama April 16, 2008 at 12:31 pm

*hugs*

Keep your chin up sweets.

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liz April 16, 2008 at 1:31 pm

Sorry to hear about the house…

Sorry to hear about Kris.

But you’re mom is probably right about the house (aren’t they always?!? So frustrating…) and the market.

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Cato April 16, 2008 at 2:10 pm

Sounds like not getting the house was for the best: 2 bedrooms seems like plenty for you, but that’s a very hard size to sell, and in most markets 2 bedroom houses (not apartments/condos) sell at a significant discount. And, the market is certainly not headed up if a 3 bedroom in the neighborhood sold for less. Think of this as an education.

If you’re going to house hunt without a real estate agent, you need to learn about the prices in the area – not just asking prices, but what things actually sell for. That information in many places is published in local newspapers (usually the little ‘local’ papers) once a week or so. That information reflects what closed, not the deals made, so there is a significant lag between the time deals are made and the time they close.

If you can get your hands on (through your lawyer?) the local multiple listing service, you can see the whole market like a real estate agent, so you can get a feel for what people are asking, how quickly things are selling and at what prices. Hint, anything that’s a good deal usually sells within 30 days or even within a week. Anything that’s been on the market more than 60 days is either listed at a bad time, over priced, or has other problems (zoning? structural?, water? etc.).

IF you don’t want to be taken advantage of, you have to be informed. The two ways to do that are to hire someone (i.e. the real estate agent who gets 2-3% of the price) or do the work yourself.

You can do it!! Hang in there.

Sorry to hear about the BF, but we are almost all ships passing in life, and our courses often diverge.

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ana.biosis April 16, 2008 at 2:47 pm

have you ever heard of websites like http://www.zillow.com ? They may help you find the prices in the areas you are looking for.

Also… run a google search on foreclosures in the area… and there are often sites that can do mad searches for you…example, here in houston, it is http://www.har.com and it lists homes from every real estate agency, so you can look at them all, inside and out.

Good luck on the house.

As for boyfriend, I am sorry,but kudos to both of you for being able to see what is right for all 3 of you involved!

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Cato April 16, 2008 at 4:15 pm

Zillow is useful, BUT, there is general agreement that it OVERSTATES prices significantly. Use with real caution.

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mommypie April 16, 2008 at 5:18 pm

I’m so sorry about Kris. It obviously wasn’t meant to be, just like the house. But like your image above, change IS good. And exciting!

I do hope you decide to date though. Purely for my own enjoyment. I have to live vicariously through SOMEONE!

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singleworkingmommy April 16, 2008 at 10:07 pm

I’m sorry to hear about Kris, as well.

Down here you can go through the auditor’s website to look at house prices, sales in the area, etc. I used it a lot in my search. I also used a realtor. It was just easier… and I really *really* liked my lady (she was a one-time single mom–of five boys! including a set of twins!)

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randomesq April 23, 2008 at 1:30 am

I don’t know how I missed this.

I am wishing you good things and respect your decision to keep the relationship things private.

Some lucky bastard will catch your eye!

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