After Benjamin spends 36 hours with daddy I usually spend 48 hours repairing the damage. He’s extra needy and extra disobedient.
For example, I got home from work last night. Benjamin sees me - freaks out - and won’t let go. I seriously have to pee holding him in my arms while his dad fumbles around gathering up his stuff to head back to his girlfriend’s. Same scene every single week.
“It’s okay baby, I’m here, I’m here. Let daddy hold you for a second so mommy can change.” Nope. He proceeds to hold me in a death grip until his dad leaves. Sad for daddy, but what can I do? My kid and I are inseparable…
And then it’s time for damage control. Instead of hanging around the house (that he’s been stuck in all day with dad) we hop in the car for a super fun outing … last night it was house hunting and mountain climbing.
Tonight I picked him up from day care. Happy kid for approximately 45 minutes and then it begins. Hell. Toddler - Mommy hell. He’s been with dad for two days hell.
I was having a crappy day anyway. Tired, worn out. One word - progesterone. I’m usually much more up beat during the first two weeks of my cycle. TMI guys but hey - it’s the progesterone talking - so if you don’t like it … well, piss off! And, ladies, if you don’t know the difference between progesterone and estrogen look it up. You’ll freak out and say - “Oh, that’s why I wanted to kill someone yesterday.”
Anyway, I digress. Back to Benjamin and then I’ll get to the Barnes & Noble lady.
He doesn’t want to eat dinner so we head outside. And then…he takes off in a full sprint. He doesn’t just run down the driveway. No, he runs all the way down the sidewalk, up into the neighbors yard and then up the iron steps leading to the second story apartment. Yes, all the way up. His little fingers were just about to dip into mystery neighbor’s teeny tiny flower pots when I grabbed him.
I had to keep a very straight face because I wanted to laugh. I did. It was funny. These kinds of things make me laugh. I couldn’t care less what my neighbors think. I don’t have time to care. But I kept my straight, firm and mean mommy face as I carried him all the way back to the car and strapped him down. He’s screaming his brains out at this point and I’m ready to burst into tears.
Then we head to Barnes and Noble. Guaranteed fun and it’s right around the corner. Plus there was a new book I really, really wanted to buy - Rockabye: From Wild to Child.
I walk straight up to the customer service desk because I couldn’t find it on the shelf. There was a man behind the counter. Long hair, sexy all around, but he was helping someone else. I took my spot and waited. And then, she appeared, “Can I help you with anything?”
Sigh. She looks miserable. You know, those miserable people? The people you just want to punch because they’re just wasting space. (Progesterone). Anyway, she is one of those - clearly - because here I am holding an adorable two-year-old and she doesn’t even acknowledge that he’s there or that I am there for that matter.
Why can’t cute guy help me? Cute guy! Cute guy! Save me. But no.
“So what’s the title?” she asks.
“Rockabye.”
“How do you spell it?” Great. She’s also an idiot.
“R-o-c-k-a-b-y-e. It’s by Rebecca Woolf.”
“Here it is. From wild to child,” she’s reading this loudly as I’m holding my now fussing two-year-old, my hair disheveled, we’re both a dirty, gooey mess. She goes on to read the description, “A young woman discovers she is pregnant and gives up her wild ways for a child.” I imagine she does this every day. Just reads embarrassing descriptions out loud to mortify people who never buy books.
“Yes! That’s it.” I’m just pissed and then…
“Well we don’t have it. I can order it for you.” Bitch. (Progesterone).
“No, thanks, I’ll just try Amazon.” We immediately vere right to the kids section leaving her and cute guy behind.
P.S.
Benjamin and I had quite a wild time in the little kids section. SO much fun. They had a Thomas track set up. Hours of free entertainment…fyi. Do you have any great free outing ideas?
And check out the book and Rebecca’s blogs: Girls Gone Child and Straight from the Bottle.
P.P.S.
Sorry if this post is a bit “bitchy” on my part. Hopefully I’ll feel better tomorrow.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I HATE having to de-program my kids after they spend time with their father. Ugh! And when I was still living in RI, just about the time I got them de-programmed, it was time to go back. It’s gotten a little better now that we’re 6 states away from him…
It sucks because you’re supposed to relax and enjoy the sans kid time, but (I at least) spend the whole time dreading the re-programming.
B&N is one of the greatest free outings! (Their merit as a book store is another issue all together…) I can get a coffee, read a trashy magazine and the kids can fight over Thomas and Percy. What’s not to love?!?
Another great fee outing (for those of your fortunate to live in the South) is going to a Krispy Kreme store that makes donuts on-site. The kids can watch the conveyor belt through the HUGE windows, (donuts being deep fried and then slathered with hot glaze), and more often that not, they’ll give the kids a free hat and a free donut.
I look forward to checking out that book!
Ok. Phew. I’m not the only one! Son LOVES his dad, so he’s not very clingy when he returns. (One time when I was visiting his dad to help him out, Son gave me my keys and said “Bye-bye, bye-bye” and pratically pushed me out the door. It really upset him that I wasn’t leaving!)
That said, I do have deprogramming to do when he gets back. Mostly b/c his dad lets him do whatever Son wants the entire time he’s there.
The only reason I ever go to Barnes & Noble is to let my kids play there! I buy all of my books from amazon or half.com.
My youngest daughter was extremely clingy when my ex and I first separated, but fortunately she has gotten used to it.
I have tons of free outings… The bookstore and library top the list, we also love going to the pet store, taking nature walks, and of course the playgrounds. Around here some of the museums are free on Sunday mornings and the libraries offer deeply discounted admissions to other museums. The biggest benefit of living near a big city is that there is never a lack of fun/cheap things to do!
I highly recomend parks where there is a lake or pond with ducks. Throw bird seed all around and give him some to throw too. As the ducks come to eat the seed you tell him to “GO GET THE DUCKS” to which he squeals with utter delight and chases them around. The beauty is, they keep coming back for more seed. It’s good for a solid hour or so. Just look up from your book when you hear splashing to make sure it’s the ducks and not the child floundering in the water.
Ok I am going to read up on this evil progesterone stuff right now because I think I have had a serious case of it for the past couple days.
Hey, that same lady works at my Barnes & Noble store. Small world! (And you and I live thousands of miles apart!)