OMG! I think I’m moving to the burbs!

by mssinglemama on April 10, 2008

After Benjamin spends 36 hours with daddy I usually spend 48 hours repairing the damage. He’s extra needy and extra disobedient.

For example, I got home from work last night. Benjamin sees me – freaks out – and won’t let go. I seriously have to pee holding him in my arms while his dad fumbles around gathering up his stuff to head back to his girlfriend’s. Same scene every single week.

“It’s okay baby, I’m here, I’m here. Let daddy hold you for a second so mommy can change.” Nope. He proceeds to hold me in a death grip until his dad leaves. Sad for daddy, but what can I do? My kid and I are inseparable…

And then it’s time for damage control. Instead of hanging around the house (that he’s been stuck in all day with dad) we hop in the car for a super fun outing … last night it was house hunting and mountain climbing.

Tonight I picked him up from day care. Happy kid for approximately 45 minutes and then it begins. Hell. Toddler – Mommy hell. He’s been with dad for two days hell.

I was having a crappy day anyway. Tired, worn out. One word – progesterone. I’m usually much more up beat during the first two weeks of my cycle. TMI guys but hey – it’s the progesterone talking – so if you don’t like it … well, piss off! And, ladies, if you don’t know the difference between progesterone and estrogen look it up. You’ll freak out and say – “Oh, that’s why I wanted to kill someone yesterday.”

Anyway, I digress. Back to Benjamin and then I’ll get to the Barnes & Noble lady.

He doesn’t want to eat dinner so we head outside. And then…he takes off in a full sprint. He doesn’t just run down the driveway. No, he runs all the way down the sidewalk, up into the neighbors yard and then up the iron steps leading to the second story apartment. Yes, all the way up. His little fingers were just about to dip into mystery neighbor’s teeny tiny flower pots when I grabbed him.

I had to keep a very straight face because I wanted to laugh. I did. It was funny. These kinds of things make me laugh. I couldn’t care less what my neighbors think. I don’t have time to care. But I kept my straight, firm and mean mommy face as I carried him all the way back to the car and strapped him down. He’s screaming his brains out at this point and I’m ready to burst into tears.

Then we head to Barnes and Noble. Guaranteed fun and it’s right around the corner. Plus there was a new book I really, really wanted to buy – Rockabye: From Wild to Child.

I walk straight up to the customer service desk because I couldn’t find it on the shelf. There was a man behind the counter. Long hair, sexy all around, but he was helping someone else. I took my spot and waited. And then, she appeared, “Can I help you with anything?”

Sigh. She looks miserable. You know, those miserable people? The people you just want to punch because they’re just wasting space. (Progesterone). Anyway, she is one of those – clearly – because here I am holding an adorable two-year-old and she doesn’t even acknowledge that he’s there or that I am there for that matter.

Why can’t cute guy help me? Cute guy! Cute guy! Save me. But no.

“So what’s the title?” she asks.

“Rockabye.”

“How do you spell it?” Great. She’s also an idiot.

“R-o-c-k-a-b-y-e. It’s by Rebecca Woolf.”

“Here it is. From wild to child,” she’s reading this loudly as I’m holding my now fussing two-year-old, my hair disheveled, we’re both a dirty, gooey mess. She goes on to read the description, “A young woman discovers she is pregnant and gives up her wild ways for a child.” I imagine she does this every day. Just reads embarrassing descriptions out loud to mortify people who never buy books.

“Yes! That’s it.” I’m just pissed and then…

“Well we don’t have it. I can order it for you.” Bitch. (Progesterone).

“No, thanks, I’ll just try Amazon.” We immediately vere right to the kids section leaving her and cute guy behind.

P.S.

Benjamin and I had quite a wild time in the little kids section. SO much fun. They had a Thomas track set up. Hours of free entertainment…fyi. Do you have any great free outing ideas?

And check out the book and Rebecca’s blogs: Girls Gone Child and Straight from the Bottle.

P.P.S.

Sorry if this post is a bit “bitchy” on my part. Hopefully I’ll feel better tomorrow.
After Benjamin spends 36 hours with daddy I usually spend 48 hours repairing the damage. He’s extra needy and extra disobedient.

For example, I got home from work last night. Benjamin sees me – freaks out – and won’t let go. I seriously have to pee holding him in my arms while his dad fumbles around gathering up his stuff to head back to his girlfriend’s. Same scene every single week.

“It’s okay baby, I’m here, I’m here. Let daddy hold you for a second so mommy can change.” Nope. He proceeds to hold me in a death grip until his dad leaves. Sad for daddy, but what can I do? My kid and I are inseparable…

And then it’s time for damage control. Instead of hanging around the house (that he’s been stuck in all day with dad) we hop in the car for a super fun outing … last night it was house hunting and mountain climbing.

Tonight I picked him up from day care. Happy kid for approximately 45 minutes and then it begins. Hell. Toddler – Mommy hell. He’s been with dad for two days hell.

I was having a crappy day anyway. Tired, worn out. One word – progesterone. I’m usually much more up beat during the first two weeks of my cycle. TMI guys but hey – it’s the progesterone talking – so if you don’t like it … well, piss off! And, ladies, if you don’t know the difference between progesterone and estrogen look it up. You’ll freak out and say – “Oh, that’s why I wanted to kill someone yesterday.”

Anyway, I digress. Back to Benjamin and then I’ll get to the Barnes & Noble lady.

He doesn’t want to eat dinner so we head outside. And then…he takes off in a full sprint. He doesn’t just run down the driveway. No, he runs all the way down the sidewalk, up into the neighbors yard and then up the iron steps leading to the second story apartment. Yes, all the way up. His little fingers were just about to dip into mystery neighbor’s teeny tiny flower pots when I grabbed him.

I had to keep a very straight face because I wanted to laugh. I did. It was funny. These kinds of things make me laugh. I couldn’t care less what my neighbors think. I don’t have time to care. But I kept my straight, firm and mean mommy face as I carried him all the way back to the car and strapped him down. He’s screaming his brains out at this point and I’m ready to burst into tears.

Then we head to Barnes and Noble. Guaranteed fun and it’s right around the corner. Plus there was a new book I really, really wanted to buy – Rockabye: From Wild to Child.

I walk straight up to the customer service desk because I couldn’t find it on the shelf. There was a man behind the counter. Long hair, sexy all around, but he was helping someone else. I took my spot and waited. And then, she appeared, “Can I help you with anything?”

Sigh. She looks miserable. You know, those miserable people? The people you just want to punch because they’re just wasting space. (Progesterone). Anyway, she is one of those – clearly – because here I am holding an adorable two-year-old and she doesn’t even acknowledge that he’s there or that I am there for that matter.

Why can’t cute guy help me? Cute guy! Cute guy! Save me. But no.

“So what’s the title?” she asks.

“Rockabye.”

“How do you spell it?” Great. She’s also an idiot.

“R-o-c-k-a-b-y-e. It’s by Rebecca Woolf.”

“Here it is. From wild to child,” she’s reading this loudly as I’m holding my now fussing two-year-old, my hair disheveled, we’re both a dirty, gooey mess. She goes on to read the description, “A young woman discovers she is pregnant and gives up her wild ways for a child.” I imagine she does this every day. Just reads embarrassing descriptions out loud to mortify people who never buy books.

“Yes! That’s it.” I’m just pissed and then…

“Well we don’t have it. I can order it for you.” Bitch. (Progesterone).

“No, thanks, I’ll just try Amazon.” We immediately vere right to the kids section leaving her and cute guy behind.

P.S.

Benjamin and I had quite a wild time in the little kids section. SO much fun. They had a Thomas track set up. Hours of free entertainment…fyi. Do you have any great free outing ideas?

And check out the book and Rebecca’s blogs: Girls Gone Child and Straight from the Bottle.

P.P.S.

Sorry if this post is a bit “bitchy” on my part. Hopefully I’ll feel better tomorrow.
After Benjamin spends 36 hours with daddy I usually spend 48 hours repairing the damage. He’s extra needy and extra disobedient.

For example, I got home from work last night. Benjamin sees me – freaks out – and won’t let go. I seriously have to pee holding him in my arms while his dad fumbles around gathering up his stuff to head back to his girlfriend’s. Same scene every single week.

“It’s okay baby, I’m here, I’m here. Let daddy hold you for a second so mommy can change.” Nope. He proceeds to hold me in a death grip until his dad leaves. Sad for daddy, but what can I do? My kid and I are inseparable…

And then it’s time for damage control. Instead of hanging around the house (that he’s been stuck in all day with dad) we hop in the car for a super fun outing … last night it was house hunting and mountain climbing.

Tonight I picked him up from day care. Happy kid for approximately 45 minutes and then it begins. Hell. Toddler – Mommy hell. He’s been with dad for two days hell.

I was having a crappy day anyway. Tired, worn out. One word – progesterone. I’m usually much more up beat during the first two weeks of my cycle. TMI guys but hey – it’s the progesterone talking – so if you don’t like it … well, piss off! And, ladies, if you don’t know the difference between progesterone and estrogen look it up. You’ll freak out and say – “Oh, that’s why I wanted to kill someone yesterday.”

Anyway, I digress. Back to Benjamin and then I’ll get to the Barnes & Noble lady.

He doesn’t want to eat dinner so we head outside. And then…he takes off in a full sprint. He doesn’t just run down the driveway. No, he runs all the way down the sidewalk, up into the neighbors yard and then up the iron steps leading to the second story apartment. Yes, all the way up. His little fingers were just about to dip into mystery neighbor’s teeny tiny flower pots when I grabbed him.

I had to keep a very straight face because I wanted to laugh. I did. It was funny. These kinds of things make me laugh. I couldn’t care less what my neighbors think. I don’t have time to care. But I kept my straight, firm and mean mommy face as I carried him all the way back to the car and strapped him down. He’s screaming his brains out at this point and I’m ready to burst into tears.

Then we head to Barnes and Noble. Guaranteed fun and it’s right around the corner. Plus there was a new book I really, really wanted to buy – Rockabye: From Wild to Child.

I walk straight up to the customer service desk because I couldn’t find it on the shelf. There was a man behind the counter. Long hair, sexy all around, but he was helping someone else. I took my spot and waited. And then, she appeared, “Can I help you with anything?”

Sigh. She looks miserable. You know, those miserable people? The people you just want to punch because they’re just wasting space. (Progesterone). Anyway, she is one of those – clearly – because here I am holding an adorable two-year-old and she doesn’t even acknowledge that he’s there or that I am there for that matter.

Why can’t cute guy help me? Cute guy! Cute guy! Save me. But no.

“So what’s the title?” she asks.

“Rockabye.”

“How do you spell it?” Great. She’s also an idiot.

“R-o-c-k-a-b-y-e. It’s by Rebecca Woolf.”

“Here it is. From wild to child,” she’s reading this loudly as I’m holding my now fussing two-year-old, my hair disheveled, we’re both a dirty, gooey mess. She goes on to read the description, “A young woman discovers she is pregnant and gives up her wild ways for a child.” I imagine she does this every day. Just reads embarrassing descriptions out loud to mortify people who never buy books.

“Yes! That’s it.” I’m just pissed and then…

“Well we don’t have it. I can order it for you.” Bitch. (Progesterone).

“No, thanks, I’ll just try Amazon.” We immediately vere right to the kids section leaving her and cute guy behind.

P.S.

Benjamin and I had quite a wild time in the little kids section. SO much fun. They had a Thomas track set up. Hours of free entertainment…fyi. Do you have any great free outing ideas?

And check out the book and Rebecca’s blogs: Girls Gone Child and Straight from the Bottle.

P.P.S.

Sorry if this post is a bit “bitchy” on my part. Hopefully I’ll feel better tomorrow.
I am meeting with an attorney tomorrow … to put an offer on the house!

I went to see it on my lunch break today … was it just this afternoon? Yep. It was love at first sight. It’s so cozy, comfortable and safe. And the aura – is magnificent. Good vibes all around.

And guess who lives in it now? A single woman in her 40’s. No kids. But a strong single woman who’s kept the place absolutely pristine. And the view from the living room window? An old park. (The new park with the mountain climbing wall is down the block). But Benjamin will wake up every morning and see “his” park.

And the backyard…fenced with 1/4 of an acre, huge trees and a cute little shed. And there’s a door leading to the yard from the little dining room and the kitchen. So he can run around and play, completely safe while I watch from inside. I’ll have to buy a sand box, maybe a swing set….oh! And of course transfer my firepit blocks from my current yard. Must have fire pit. I’m SO excited.

The house is for sale by owner. I found it on Craiglist.com, where every single mama can find every single thing she needs – including men. Long live Craigslist! So I met her, we chatted and it just seems so much more personal. Realtors scare me.

And here’s the best part. My father grew up in this neighborhood. Cheesy. But I think his spirit is sending us there. Didn’t even know this until my mom told me this afternoon. (I miss you papa).

Okay. Wish me luck. Seems like a shoe in but you never know…

P.S. Buying a house SOLO without a husband to say – “No, I don’t like it because of ‘yada, yada.'” – Priceless. And dreams coming true – even better.

{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

QTMama April 10, 2008 at 10:03 pm

Oh how exciting! I wish you the best of luck, and do post some pics of the place!

Reply

mssinglemama April 10, 2008 at 10:08 pm

QT – it’s the same house in my post on moving to the burbs!!! SO fricking cute!

And I just thought of you b/c I was looking at the pics that I can’t copy and paste – anyway – as each pic came up I just said “mine, mine, mine!” Ha! Yes! This is awesome.

Reply

velk April 10, 2008 at 10:10 pm

Love at first sight? I’m having VO flashbacks or something… 🙂

Congrats on finding such a nice sounding house.

Reply

QTMama April 10, 2008 at 10:18 pm

Yup, it’s one helluva good feeling, isn’t it? I’m really really REALLY excited for you! Hmm … do you have a lawn mower? 😉 I even find mowing my lawn somewhat fun – I get done and think, damn I just made my house look gooooooooood baby!

Reply

Fabian February 4, 2015 at 3:34 am

Normally I do not read post on blogs, but I would like to say that this write-up very pressured me to check out and do it! Your wriintg style has been amazed me. Thanks, very great article.

Reply

singleworkingmommy April 10, 2008 at 10:37 pm

OK, I thought we lived close to one another, now I think we might live in the same city… maybe.

If so, I gotta find the park with the rock climbing wall, Son would LOVE it.

Reply

Kat April 11, 2008 at 1:14 am

Hi, I just found your blog via dooce and I’m really enjoying your blog. Congrats on the new place. My Dad passed a long time ago and I TOTALLY get the whole “spiritual help” thing. I also have a deep love for craigslist. What a great invention!!

Reply

Lauren April 11, 2008 at 2:41 am

That’s so exciting! Good luck!

Reply

Cato April 11, 2008 at 7:52 am

Some advice:

Your bid should begin at least 10-15% below the asking price (unless you anticipate a lot of activity here). Without brokers involved, negotiations may actually be harder (though cheaper by 5-6% depending on local commission rates) because the seller is emotionally invested in the value she’s asking for. You like the house (it’s never good negotiating to let the seller know just how much you love it). Also, to avoid a seller stringing you along waiting for a better offer (happens a lot), you should consider making an exploding offer: Offer is $X until [7-10 days after offer date], after that the offer is X-10% for an additional 7 days, then it’s gone.

Have you pre-qualified yourself for a mortgage? Make sure even so you have a mortgage contingency in your contract.

If your offer is accepted, make sure you get a good professional inspection to make sure there are zoning issues, illegal construction, no termites or carpenter ants, wet basement problems, fire damage, issues with the electrical or heating/air conditioning systems. If you find a problem, use that to renegotiate the price and/or have the seller fix the problem before closing. You may or may not need a survey, your lawyer will know local practice.

The most important thing (and the hardest) is to view this as a business decision — don’t let your emotions lead you to overpay or to take on more debt/carrying costs than you can reasonably support. You’re going to be at least a little “house poor” for a while, but you should not beggar yourself.

Reply

mssinglemama April 11, 2008 at 8:11 am

Kat – tks for reading! And you found me through Dooce? Awesome. She’s my hero.

Cato – wow! Tks…hadn’t though of the offer expiration idea. Thanks again. And yes, I’m pre-qualified. We have to get inspections – state law. My emotions are fairly in check – it’s a super hot neighborhood and we haven’t seen prices this low in years and years – so if I wait – might never be able to get a house here.

Reply

Cato April 11, 2008 at 8:34 am

Especially in a hot market, it’s important to avoid being strung along while a seller waits for a higher offer (even if you came in at the asking price) — the seller is emotionally involved (this is undoubtedly the largest transaction she’s engaged in other than buying the house) and does not have a broker to guide her through the negotiation process. Your goal (in addition to paying the lowest price possible for what you want) is to get the seller to contract quickly so that you lock in your deal.

If attorneys are involved in your state (some states it’s all done by the title companies with standard contracts), then even if there is a local form contract in use, there will be negotiable provisions — what stays and what goes (light fixtures like chandeliers? refrigerator? stove? washer/dryer?, etc., even sometimes some furniture), who’s responsible for for what, representations and warranties (may be mandated, but there are always local practice considerations), closing conditions (what if a problem like a fire or sewer break or leaking roof occurs between signing and closing?), contingencies (mortgage and inspection are minimums, but how long do you have to get the mortgage nailed down).

Your attorney should guide you through all of this, but may not (especially if there is a low fixed fee charged in your area for simple real estate closings). Make sure your attorney is local to the area and knows the market.

Reply

Shannon April 11, 2008 at 10:26 am

Cato’s help is priceless. It’s hard not to get swept up when you fall in love with a house. I can not wait to see pictures! It sounds similar to the house I just sold…(tearing up here) and did we ever love that house! It was perfect!

Reply

lausana April 11, 2008 at 10:38 am

Congratulations!! What an accomplishment 🙂

Reply

dadshouse April 11, 2008 at 1:28 pm

Congrats! I love the part about being a single parent and loving something and not having to hear a partner say what they don’t like.. one of the up sides to going it solo, for sure.

When’s the house warming? 🙂

Reply

singlemomseeking April 11, 2008 at 8:09 pm

Good luck Mama!

I love how fast you move! Watch out world, big dreams ahead!

P.S. Since Dad’s House and I live near the same airport, we’ll fly to the house warming together, okay?

Reply

mssinglemama April 11, 2008 at 9:01 pm

Cato – just met with the attorney this afternoon and we went over all of this…he’s top notch. And I’m all about locking down the deal. To avoid anything I’m going to personally deliver my offer and just say – this is it. I can’t negotiate. I didn’t go much lower than her asking price but am asking her to cover closing costs and help with my down payment.

Oh – and I am asking for the draperies and of course, all of the appliances.

Shannon – I know…this house has no room for a man, so if I ever do find one I’d have to sell. Might love the house more than I could ever love a man. Tee hee…well, maybe not, but I’m sure you know what I mean.

Tks Lausana, DH and SMS.

Oh and if you two actually came out here I would pee myself.

Reply

The Queen Chimes In April 11, 2008 at 11:03 pm

YOU ROCK!
Say it and do it!
You are fully supported!
Go On Girl!

Reply

dadshouse April 11, 2008 at 11:49 pm

MSM – We’ll FedEx a box of Depends ahead of time…

Reply

Bavani April 12, 2008 at 11:54 pm

I just read this post 🙂 – I think it’s awesome that you are buying this place 🙂 – a new chapter in your life – a lifetime of memories waiting to be made with your little man, Benjamin 🙂

Reply

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