I didn’t say it … this blogging bachelor did. And I 100% agree with him. Men do need to “man” up. In his post titled, “What Men SHOULD Think.”
He says:
Men, get your act together before you go pursuing a long-term relationship or marriage. Don’t tell me that you have to be with this woman right now, because you love them so much. That’s just being selfish. If you care for someone, work your ass off to create a direction and future for yourself. What are you going to offer this woman you love?
Read the rest of that one, it’s awesome. But in his posts “What Men Think When You Tell Them (Part I and Part II)” he tells women not to talk about wanting children.
Talking about your desire or lack of desire to have children. I’m sure there are men who want to talk about that right away. They may be as excited to share as you are. BUT the majority of men don’t want to hear this from anyone unless it is their wife or fiance. Only discuss this when marriage has been agreed upon.
Wife or fiance? Uh-oh. Here’s my line:”so, do you want to have a kid, ummm….2 years ago?”
When I brought this up in a comment WMT had a very good response …
Single parents have a very difficult time dating. Between work and child rearing, it is nearly impossible to date. I think you are right to be up front about it. You don’t want to waste time and later find out that the person isn’t able to deal with you having a kid. As far as the rules on talking about your children? Use tact. I have no experience in this area, so I can’t say more than that.
So far he’s “Ms. Single Mama” approved, although take his advice with a grain of salt becaues he’s never dated a single mom…and as we all know, that’s a whole new game entirely. If even a game at all. More like dating in its rawest form.
As a 28-year-old, my dates are usually childless guys who’ve never been engaged, let alone married. So reading his blog is a refresher course on what these guys are thinking during a date. With that said…
When do you tell men that you’re a single mom?
I’m a big fan of upfront honesty. And as far as taking about your kid on the first date, what do you think? I use as much tact as possible but I never pass on an opportunity to tell a funny Benjamin story. Then I gauge his laugh. Is it awkward and forced? Or does he show genuine interest in my son?
What about you, do you have little secret first date tests for the guys?
