If you’ve been reading for a while you know what’s up … but for those who haven’t:
1. Kris and I have been together for about 6 months (my longest relationship post-divorce)
2. He is my best friend. I love him. And he is quite possibly the sweetest, most respectful and adoring man I’ve ever been with.
3. But, there’s a fat chance we’ll end up together (we’re just at different stages in our lives: him- college, me- family and career).
a) We would not think about our future together and just have fun
b) He would see Benjamin a lot less
We’ve had no problem sticking to b).
They’ve been seeing each other just once a week ever since. These are usually on Saturday mornings/afternoons. So where does Benjamin find Kris on Saturday mornings? In mommy’s bed of course. It’s actually an adorable scene and one that consistently reminds me that I’ve found a great guy.
Benjamin jumps on the bed and howls, “KRIIIISSSS!” And then starts jumping up and down on Kris’ poor back, stroking his face, kissing his face … anything he can do to get Kris to wake up. And then Kris slowly wakes up … and guess what? He always has a smile on his face. Why? Because he’s excited to see Benjamin. They’re just buds.
So this week Benjamin and I got home from daycare and guess where he ran when I set him down in the kitchen…to my bedroom. He’s so cute when he runs by the way. Damn I love my kid. The covers were over some pillows. “Kris?” Benjamin asks.
“No, honey, Kris is bye bye right now.” He doesn’t listen.
Benjamin jumps on the bed and rips the covers off of the pillows. No Kris. He looks sad for a second and then bounces right off of the bed to hunt down Thomas the Tank instead.
Okay. Funny story. Maybe not to some of you. Perhaps you’re a shocked and concerned parent reading that some woman’s son would be exposed to a man other than his own father in her bed. And if that’s the case – then I’m sorry, but this is my life. Kris is the only man Benjamin has ever seen in mommy’s bed and if Kris and I part ways he will not see another man in mommy’s bed for quite some time. We started dating when Benjamin was still a 1/2 mush brain.
“Mush brain” is a term my father coined for all six of his kids…and we weren’t non-mush brains until around 5 or 6 (depending on the kids). My dad was also a doctor so he knew our brains were technically a bit mushy.
But seriously. The bed this has been just one of several “Kris request” incidents that seem to be cropping up because he’s seeing him less and less.
So, of course, I’m freaking out on Kris again and have thrown condition a. (keeping it light and fun) out the window. I can’t help it. I just can’t help but over-analyze this relationship when my son is involved. I’m worried about the inevitable good-bye. What will I tell Benjamin? Will he be upset?
Kris and I have both been talking and thinking about this a lot lately. For both of us, Benjamin is the #1 priority. And we have skipped seeing each other this weekend so we can both clear our heads.
The single mom dating conundrum is officially rearing it’s ugly head and I’m at a loss.