We got an earlier flight out…instead of waiting until Tuesday morning to see Benjamin – it will be tomorrow at 1:30p.m.!!! Some background – I haven’t seen him since Thursday when I dropped him off at grandma’s so I could jet off to a work conference. This is the longest we’ve ever been apart.
I’ve been calling him every day. Keep in mind – when faced with a speaker phone conversations Benjamin is usually silent. But each time I’ve called he’s been a little chatter box.
Benjamin: “Abbabaa dabba you dattta me dubbba deeeouyaaaa!! Mommy!”
Me: “Wow baby! That’s so exciting, I’m so glad you’re having fun.”
Benjamin: “But…me…abuddaahhhh babale!!!”
Me: “I know honey, I love you too.” Repeat several times until Benjamin accidentally hangs up the phone.
Never before have I ever been so excited to talk to a boy on the phone. In fact, I can safely say that even if Brad Pitt were calling on the other line I wouldn’t pick up.
To hell with time off from the kids. When you’re a single mom it seems the anxiety of leaving them behind dulls the entire travel experience. Maybe I just worry too much. Maybe this time apart is “healthy.”
Well, I’ve had my dose of healthy separation – now I want my kid back. And as for the worrying – I’m working on it, but when you’re the only one who has to worry – that’s a good dose of worrying.
Maybe this will get easier when he’s older - any advice on this one?
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My Daniel was 14 months old the first time I was away from him. Before that the only separation was while I worked (with daily visits to his day care – of course!). I had a trade show in St. Louis, one month after 9/11….three days feeling empty. That’s the only way I can describe it. One minute he’s constantly jumping in my arms for hugs, the next I only have my own arms to hug.
Anyway, I survived, but didn’t plan anything else until he was six! It’s much easier when they’re older, but you never get rid of that nervous excitement to get everyone back home.
It has always been easier for me to leave them with my parents than it has been to let their father have them for any overnight visits.
The first long period away from them (when they were with their dad) was this past Christmas when they spent a week with him. The first two days it was great (I slept in, didn’t cook, didn’t have to wipe a single bum…) but then I really started to miss them.
It’s good that you miss Benjamin — I’d be worried if you didn’t. But learning to enjoy that time alone has been really important for me. It helps refresh me and makes me a better single-mom!
No advice since I’m still childless for now… but I already know I’ll have to leave my baby for a couple days in January for a wedding
There’s a chance I might be able to bring her along, but flying with a 9 month old? Not too sure how fun that’ll be! (I’ll also be flying from the Midwest to Texas… Houston, to be exact) But it’ll be interesting to see how I handle being away from her.
Can I just say how much I love you all! You are all so supportive as I go through the trials and tribulations of being a single mama. Which is why I have this blog – partially for me – to gain your insight – but it’s really for all of us – so we can stay connected and support each other.
Okay – I’m back. Will have to write more later…but I can tell you this – one or two days – no biggie – but I will never do four nights and five days again. It just didn’t feel right. Until later…I think he’s hosing down my counter right now with the faucet sprayer thing.
I just turned down an invitation to fly to a wedding — my best friend from summer camp, whom I’ve known since I was 7. Her wedding is Kid-Free.
Not only would Mae be so disappointed (she LOVES weddings!)… but after my little health crisis over here (that allergic reaction to steroids following poison oak), I’m feeling really vulnerable. I don’t feel like hopping on a plane for the weekend and partying…
Anyway, welcome home mama!
You sound so in love with your little guy. So sweet.
This is what makes it easier: Benjamin will be talking in full paragraphs soon.
It’s a comfort to know that your child can communicate when he needs something. If you go away again, he’ll be able to tell your mom that he wants lasagna, that he has to poop in the potty… and that he wants to call you. That’s huge.
I’m glad you turned that wedding down – kid-free? Who does that anyway? I could go on and on about that one….
Yes…it will be easier. But it’s true – I’m so damn in love with the kid. He’s just my everything. and, you’re right – it will get easier. But until then – I’m staying put or bringing him with me.
I’m a single mom of three who works as an alzheimer’s consultant flying to different parts of the country 3 out of 4 weeks a month. As a single mom, I really need to make a good income…but the guilt of leaving my kids two nights a week with my parents to go save the world from dementia takes it toll. I take a book with me and the kids keep a copy too, that way I can read to them from where ever I am at that moment. My two teenage daughter think I’m crazy…but it’s working! Cell phones and video cams are great. I watched a Christmas program from 10 states away thanks to a video cam. A mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do. But the time we are together is like gold!
I am sorry to say that it does not really get any easier! I have a ten year old and a four year old. My youngest was two years old before I left her for any length of time (i went out for five hours!) but I understand your pain when they are not there. my 10 year old has an active social life and goes on sleep overs for girl scouts etc and I really miss her and wait for her return. leaving B with your mother is a great assurance for you. all my family live in South Africa, so no such assurances for us and as a result we can only go away where it is kid friendly, and I actually prefer that because all too soon they will have grown up and moved out. having a break is sometimes good for your soul but you know you are still on track when you want to get back to them!