Single moms and the men who love us.

by mssinglemama on March 6, 2008

124315322_efe6bf96ed.jpgI want to bring your attention to another great comment that came in recently…this one’s from Finch, one of nearly 500 men who have now read my post on “How to Date a Single Mom.“ 

Dating a single mom never even crossed my mind until my current relationship just fell into my lap. Now I couldn’t be happier. We’ve only been dating two months and I’ve already fallen hard for her. And her three-year-old daughter? Icing on the cake! This relationship actually made me realize I love kids! And yes, one thing I love about her more than anything is the complete lack of bullshit games that younger women typically play. I’m not looking at a fake plastic mask, I’m looking at her. Just her. That’s a bigger turn-on than anything.   – Finch

I just absolutely LOVE this. It proves my point – that when the right guy comes along, the fact that you’re a single mom doesn’t mean squat. It might be harder on us (for reasons they can’t really understand) but for them – we’re pretty damn hot.  Check this out … Yahoo Personals polled men on what makes a single mom so sexy. Here are some of the reasons:

  1. She’s strong.
  2. She’s not going to gamble her child’s happiness on just any man  - so by dating you, she’s paying you a compliment.
  3. When you do get together, she’ll make it worth your while. 
  4. She enjoys her time out more than women who can come and go as they please.
  5. No spur of the moment dates – you have to plan. But planning entails anticipation…and that’s cool
See? Isn’t that nice to hear?
 
I think one of the best reasons about being a single mom is this – we get to weed out the jerks, quickly. Whether we want them to or not – the players run away screaming while the good guys stick around. Pretty sweet bonus for all of our hard work, don’t you think?
 
Now, this sexy single mama has to go pack for her first trip in 3 years. More on that later…

[Photo credit: By Katie Tegtmeyer on Flicker]

Related posts:

  1. Can single moms really “fall in love”?
  2. A web site deceiving single moms
  3. I LOVE being a single mom.
  4. Perfume or magic love potion? You decide.
  5. Love vs. Lust

{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }

ianeksi March 6, 2008 at 5:30 am

I LOVE this post! You A) took the words right out of my mouth and B) said it like it needs to be said. Being a single-mother IS awesome, and any man who can’t truly appreciate the magnitude of supremacy in which we operate needs to hit the road.

Awesome. Enjoy your trip. :)

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erzsi1113 March 6, 2008 at 2:33 pm

I LOVE this! We are sexy, strong and we are a great catch!!

Thanks for posting.

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mssinglemama March 6, 2008 at 4:13 pm

My pleasure! Happy to remind myself and everyone else why we are so fabulous! And this time we’re hearing it straight from the men…nice.

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modernsinglemomma March 6, 2008 at 11:41 pm

I imagine many of qualities that make a single moms so irresistible can also be said for single dads too. I don’t know if I agree with all of Yahoo’s top ten(yes, we are stronger than most dating candidates thanks to the emotional (and physical!) workout we get handling the responsibilities of single parenthood, but no, we can’t necessarily cook (unless you count unwrapping a power bar preparing a meal). =)
Thanks Ms. Single Mama, I love your blog.

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mssinglemama March 7, 2008 at 3:37 am

Modern single momma – we spell momma differently! I’ve noticed the variation on the spelling on mama since starting my blog…

You’re absolutely right – I’m definitely not a great cook – I definitely cook more than I used too, but not quite a mommy cook yet! Just don’t have the time to prepare an amazing meal.

And thanks for the compliment! So glad you like it!

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mommypie March 7, 2008 at 6:32 am

LOVE this post – everything’s so right on. I’m VERY picky, but I can tell you, when I DO decide to finally let someone in again, I’ll definitely make it worth their while ;)

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mssinglemama March 7, 2008 at 12:28 pm

Read Jon’s comment under my post “Porn for New Moms” Awesome! How adorable!

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milo March 13, 2008 at 12:18 pm

Couldn’t agree more with Finch… maybe guys like us are the minority…I certainly hope so ;)

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Sara Stanford July 7, 2008 at 6:11 am

Great post there finch. Showing that men do appreciate single mama’s will certainly help alot of womens self esteem.

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liv March 19, 2009 at 6:10 pm

it's like i said to my boyfriend over lunch last saturday, "it's so nice to have a kid-free day. we haven't had a kid-free day in AGES." he looked at me. i said, "wow. i bet last year you would have never thought you'd hear your girlfriend say that!"

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LauraKidsLinked March 19, 2009 at 6:14 pm

Being a single mom and dating is tough! I was a single mom with a son for almost 8 years. Patience and staying true to what you are looking for is key. Just when I was about to give up all hope a great guy came into my life that I didnt have to settle or lower my standards for. My current boyfriend of a year and a half considered himself someone who would never date a single mom, however after we met and he learned more about me and what I was all about the relationship grew. My relationship with him is the most strong, developed, stable relationship that I have ever been in and the role he plays in my son's life is a dedicated, devoted mentor.. Be patient ladies, theres a guy out there who understands you, your needs and is perfect for you!

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Janet March 21, 2009 at 1:45 am

Awesome post. I'm all pumped up now!

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janey March 21, 2009 at 3:09 am

Ahh said so well! I can't help but feel a little more desirable after reading this :)

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mssinglemama March 21, 2009 at 11:45 am

Awesome!!! That was my point entirely and it's very true. Trust me… the only difference about being a single mom and single and childless is that we attract the good ones – men who realize how awesome we are for taking all of this on solo.

Any stigma is all in your head – not theirs…

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babymamadrama March 24, 2009 at 8:45 pm

Yes!! thank you for that uplifting blog! Man did i need it!!!! ive been a single mom since i was seven 1/2 months pregnant, and the reality is soo much harder than anyone could prepare you for. dating becomes complicated and delicate. i still have faith my Dream Man is out there, but most of the time i am too tired to try to find him! ;-) we gotta stay strong, we are not easy and that makes us all the more special !

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sbates September 3, 2009 at 12:23 pm

I am a single mom of 2. I was raised by a single mom. I agree that when it comes to finding the right guy, sticking to our “no time for games” policy pays off big time!!! Men are drawn to women that will make good “WIVES” and partying hard and sleeping around is not what they are attracted to. They want to settle down, and being a single mom you ARE supposed to be settled down. That is if you don’t pawn your kids off on other ppl so you can do whatever. Thanks Again ;)

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jam December 16, 2009 at 1:09 pm

i love this post. it helped me remind that I am as much as special as I was before. I have this freind who treats me special and runaway when he founds i got pregnant. Myebe is one of those jerks that just to play with me. Now i know.

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JOEL DOE January 11, 2010 at 6:15 am

HI GOOD FRIEND:

I AM JOEL DOE A MALE FRIEND FROM LIBERIA.
WISHING TO MET WITH REAL FRIENDS. THIS IS MY EMAIL ADDRESS: kjoeldee@yahoo.com

IF YOU WANT TO MEET WITH NEW FRIEND, PLS SEND ME TEXT.

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HonestGal February 7, 2010 at 6:19 am

What a load of nonsense. Being a single mother is not ‘cool’ or ‘sexy’ or ‘awsome’ or any of the rest of it. “We are not easy and that makes us all the more special” In whos eyes? Certainly not in the eyes or 99% of normal men who have a very strong nature-given instinct against rearing another man’s child.
P.S. I don’t expect this will be posted, even though it has been written by a single mom.

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Sunflower May 20, 2010 at 3:36 pm

Well with an attitude like that you get what you put out

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aidachka May 25, 2010 at 1:18 am

i love it

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aidachka May 25, 2010 at 1:21 am

i am single mom,a single guy likes me and he is 5 years younger then me,he loves the way i am. ,but its just weird,why me, there are single girls out there,,,why me?

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aidachka May 25, 2010 at 1:24 am

please someone give me advice,should i go on and date this person,he is really nice, well iam not bad either, i cook, i am sexy, smart and more but i come with the bagggage

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SP1078 January 3, 2013 at 2:16 pm

Ladies, how can you call your children ‘a baggage’? Here is just an outlook,something that really helped me to keep things up when the world was falling apart after my ex disappeared from my life for whatever reason. I was 3 months pregnant, completely in love and was sure to spend the rest of my life with my baby’s father who was assuaring me that our baby and me was the best thing ever happened to him, that we should get married and get mortgage together etc…and then he just disappeapetred forgetting to return my house keys. Now it’s funny. Back then … Well please don’t judge :) here is the thing..
Children is a blessing. And if a man can’t understand it and/or respect it there is no point to grant him any attention. I made a mistake once with my son’s father. A lot of mistakes actually. The only good thing that this person gave me is my baby. And for sure it’s not ‘a baggage’. Our children is life itself. Being a mother makes you more of a woman emotionally and physicslly. Actuly it makes you a woman. Selfsufficient woman, not dependent on any male or your biological clock. We are free to choose what we want. If you are looking for a short term fun your children won’t be an obstacle. Just make sure they are safe and stay away from your adult fun life. Your odds to find some fun are the same as for any childless woman even more, since men can sense that you are not trying to trap them into commitment and they know you have all you need already. But if you are looking for long term serious relationship, you don’t need generic 99% around you. You need only those worth of your time and attention and pass certain criteria. And in this case being a mother makes you more of a woman and more capable of right judgement. So why call your children ‘a baggage’, why ‘ apologize’ for having this very perfect little family member in your life? Being a mother just makes you independent. For example men are attracted to the women with good jobs. They understand that such a woman is financially self sufficient and is interested in man’s personality first of all and doesnt need them for money. Same comes to children. We already setup and we have all we need. And if we are with a man it’s for who he is, but not because we are desperate to start the family. The other side to this is lack of time. true. but we all know that the men want the most what they cant have. so take advantage of having full busy life without a man! Just believe me they sense it. and more selfsufficient and unavailable you are, the more desirable it makes you for them! So how come children is ‘a baggage’ ? I believe children just make your life and personality complete. Just believe it and be proud of yourself and your children and all the really great achievements you make every day running a house and relying only on your own judgement and decisions. The guys worth of you are out there. And you’ll meet them sooner or later. Just be happy, love yourself and your children, and love and happiness surrounding you will attract the right one :)

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Turkey February 28, 2011 at 8:04 am

Well after 13 yrs. of not talking I ran across an old college crush from my freshman year on Facebook. She went through a bad divorce as well as me. I fell hard a little over a month into it. She has a 7 yr. old girl and 6. yr. old boy who I enjoy. Listen ladies I consider myself a fairly attractive guy. I have no kids and have plenty of hobbies and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love the no B.S. way she is with me. I love watching her be a mom to her kids. I love how she tells me “exactly” what she wants and when she wants it. I also love that she treats me and sees me like a MAN and appreciates it. For all you girls thinking I am a man who loves to be dominated. I am a football coach and a mans man. I am just a good guy who appreciates a good thing. Girls keep doing your thing and don’t settle b/c there are good guys out there. I love this blog and used it when we first started dating b/c I didn’t have a clue:)

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sadmom April 14, 2011 at 3:38 pm

I agree with everything in this article. They are pretty much the main reasons my (ex) boyfriend gave for falling for me. It has ended badly though and last night he told me I have ruined his life :( . We’ve been together for quite a while, but things have not “gelled” with my children the way I would have liked; in particular my daughter is not at all on board with me dating anyone, not just him. Yet, she’s over the moon for her dad’s soon to be wife :( . My boyfriend has come to the point in his life where it’s all or nothing with me – either we make a full time long term commitment (move in together/get married), or we have nothing. My kids are not at ALL ready for that (despite being fine with their dad doing it), mostly my 10 year old daughter. She barely knows him; because of all the tension, we just haven’t done a lot together. It would be totally irresponsible of me to make a giant leap like us all living together when things are not even close to being good between the four of us together (me, him, and my son & daughter). My boyfriend feels if it was worth it enough to me, I’d just take the risk, and things would fall into line (i.e. kids are resilient). He is younger than me, doesn’t have kids, and frankly my kids’ feelings are probably just not one of his priorities like they are mine :( . He feels this as rejection of him, when it isn’t. I’d be perfectly happy to keep things the way they are until we all blend better but he says no, all or nothing :( . We are so good together, just the two of us, but my kids will always come first :( .

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prince victor April 1, 2012 at 7:04 am

would love to meet sexy single mum from any part of the world cal +2347062687242

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Kalani June 28, 2012 at 1:43 am

Love this site. I am in love with a single mom!!!! haha. She just wants to be friends…and surprisingly, I am happy with that. Weird…I guess if all I can be is her friend, I would be more than happy with that…knowing that I am close to her. Not sure if i am just growing up, haha. Men and Women can be friends.

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Dina October 4, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Ladies,

Please ignore people like Prince Victor who say they’re looking for “sexy single mums”. They are trying to scam you out of your life savings. Victor is from Nigeria, the world headquarters of email scams, aka 419. You’ll start corresponding with them and they’ll play with your heart and head and milk you for all you’ve got. I love this blog’s message, whether you realize it or not, you’re living the best years of your life; don’t look back, look forward; I know from my own experience that there are legitimate, great guys out there. Just be wary of idiots like Victor.

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josh March 22, 2013 at 8:57 pm

This is a great artical! But here’s the thing… So I recently started dating this single mother who is a few years older than me. Things where awesome until things got “real” and we both started getting feelings for each other. Then she went into mommy surviaval mode and said she doesn’t wanna get involved with some one. She wants to focus on her carrier and build a better life for her and munchkin. Which I totaly get! My mom was a sinlge mom for a bit. Its these things about her that t attract me even more to her. It is safe to say that I quickly fell for a single mom.

I have the upmost respect for her as a person and as a mother. But I am a strong minded person and know an AMAZING woman when I see one. And though I could not begin to know the challenges we would face together I just have this feeling that we would get through them. And thus lies my deliema. I wanna keep doing little things that show I care about her but I also don’t wanna be like “that guy that won’t leave me alone”. What’s the line? Is there one? Am I over thinking this or is this a test to see if I will stay around

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