Comments on: Can men feel empathy? http://mssinglemama.com/2008/03/03/can-men-feel-empathy/ Single Mom Dating? Real advice from a real single mom. Tue, 14 Feb 2012 00:59:02 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Scatteredhttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/03/03/can-men-feel-empathy/#comment-43653 Scattered Thu, 05 Jan 2012 04:10:33 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/?p=233#comment-43653 If empathy defines your morality, then your morality is conditional to only those you can empathise with. Empathy is narcissistic, others peoples pain matters because you yourself feel a measure of it. How would a person driven by empathetic feeling respond if that empathy wasn't there, they wouldn't care. Specifically both men and women have limited capacity for empathy toward male suffering. Men have less need for empathy because their morality is a generally a rigid framework of right and wrong, impartial and logical. I know something is bad or wrong even if my feeling and empathy toward it is limited. This allows for the making hard and uncomfortable choices despite opposing empathetic sentiments. Such decisions or necessary for successful leadership. If empathy defines your morality, then your morality is conditional to only those you can empathise with.

Empathy is narcissistic, others peoples pain matters because you yourself feel a measure of it. How would a person driven by empathetic feeling respond if that empathy wasn’t there, they wouldn’t care. Specifically both men and women have limited capacity for empathy toward male suffering.

Men have less need for empathy because their morality is a generally a rigid framework of right and wrong, impartial and logical. I know something is bad or wrong even if my feeling and empathy toward it is limited. This allows for the making hard and uncomfortable choices despite opposing empathetic sentiments. Such decisions or necessary for successful leadership.

]]> By: eirchttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/03/03/can-men-feel-empathy/#comment-41665 eirc Tue, 20 Dec 2011 02:05:20 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/?p=233#comment-41665 it just dawned on me, all my major ex girlfriends lacked "empathy"! yeah, they would do the right thing and feel bad for starving kids in Africa; but when it came to stepping back and thinking about how they treated me, they just couldn't do it. just got dumped by a single mom, she gave me the cold shoulder for 2 months. she email dumped me (classy), cuz i insulted her with a email that had info on the physiological effects of the "cold shoulder" (that's right Ladies, emotional abuse) she might have wanted empathy from me, cuz her kid just got some major medical problems, i had empathy for them in my heart, but if she outed me from of her life, then she wasn't getting empathy from me! she can tell someone in her life about her problems, cuz i was reduced to a mere stranger. empathy is reciprocal! it just dawned on me, all my major ex girlfriends lacked “empathy”! yeah, they would do the right thing and feel bad for starving kids in Africa; but when it came to stepping back and thinking about how they treated me, they just couldn’t do it.

just got dumped by a single mom, she gave me the cold shoulder for 2 months. she email dumped me (classy), cuz i insulted her with a email that had info on the physiological effects of the “cold shoulder” (that’s right Ladies, emotional abuse)

she might have wanted empathy from me, cuz her kid just got some major medical problems, i had empathy for them in my heart, but if she outed me from of her life, then she wasn’t getting empathy from me! she can tell someone in her life about her problems, cuz i was reduced to a mere stranger. empathy is reciprocal!

]]> By: annahttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/03/03/can-men-feel-empathy/#comment-36312 anna Mon, 31 Oct 2011 13:31:00 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/?p=233#comment-36312 The part of the brain which handles empathy is smaller, less-developed in men than in women. I've also heard that men become more sensitive as their testosterone declines with age... The part of the brain which handles empathy is smaller, less-developed in men than in women. I’ve also heard that men become more sensitive as their testosterone declines with age…

]]> By: 4blossomshttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/03/03/can-men-feel-empathy/#comment-31079 4blossoms Wed, 14 Sep 2011 07:18:51 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/?p=233#comment-31079 I think gender/social conditioning plays a big part in how empathetic women and men are. Girls are expected to care for and nurture others, so we have been encouraged to develop our empathy skills. Boys are raised to be tough and fearless, so are discouraged from developing their empathy skills. My last therapist was a woman who had very little empathy. She couldn't care less about how I dealt with some tragic family issues. I stopped seeing her and might return to the male therapist I had before her, who was more empathetic and genuinely wanted to help me. So, yes, we shouldn't stereotype, but, yes, it's also true that gender socialization causes males to feel less empathy and females to feel more empathy for others. This male therapist also happened to be gay. It seems that gay men feel more comfortable exploring and accepting their feminine selves. If more straight men were to equally open themselves up and explore their nurturing, feminine side, there would be fewer relationship problems for men and women. It's also necessary that women embrace and accept the feminine qualities of a man as well. I know many women who insist on dating only 'manly', masculine men. Yet, when we date these masculine men we find that the relationship is an emotional vacuum because men have suppressed qualities of caring, nurturing, and empathy in a misguided effort to achieve some kind of hyper-masculinized ideal and to please those women that foolishly believe they want this. I think gender/social conditioning plays a big part in how empathetic women and men are. Girls are expected to care for and nurture others, so we have been encouraged to develop our empathy skills. Boys are raised to be tough and fearless, so are discouraged from developing their empathy skills. My last therapist was a woman who had very little empathy. She couldn’t care less about how I dealt with some tragic family issues. I stopped seeing her and might return to the male therapist I had before her, who was more empathetic and genuinely wanted to help me. So, yes, we shouldn’t stereotype, but, yes, it’s also true that gender socialization causes males to feel less empathy and females to feel more empathy for others.

This male therapist also happened to be gay. It seems that gay men feel more comfortable exploring and accepting their feminine selves. If more straight men were to equally open themselves up and explore their nurturing, feminine side, there would be fewer relationship problems for men and women. It’s also necessary that women embrace and accept the feminine qualities of a man as well. I know many women who insist on dating only ‘manly’, masculine men. Yet, when we date these masculine men we find that the relationship is an emotional vacuum because men have suppressed qualities of caring, nurturing, and empathy in a misguided effort to achieve some kind of hyper-masculinized ideal and to please those women that foolishly believe they want this.

]]> By: nicholashttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/03/03/can-men-feel-empathy/#comment-27706 nicholas Sun, 03 Jul 2011 21:19:00 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/?p=233#comment-27706 That emotionless guy already knew that he was unable to do anything about the dental injury. It´s not like he is a dentist am I correct? He probably knew that it would just seem kind of stupid to ask if he could do something when there clearly was nothing he could do. Straightforward guy I say. I prefer that kind of person over the emotional over empathetic people who can´t do squat when it comes down to things. But yes... It´s a great skill to have nonetheless if you want to manipulate people. That emotionless guy already knew that he was unable to do anything about the dental injury. It´s not like he is a dentist am I correct?
He probably knew that it would just seem kind of stupid to ask if he could do something when there clearly was nothing he could do. Straightforward guy I say. I prefer that kind of person over the emotional over empathetic people who can´t do squat when it comes down to things. But yes… It´s a great skill to have nonetheless if you want to manipulate people.

]]> By: nicholashttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/03/03/can-men-feel-empathy/#comment-27705 nicholas Sun, 03 Jul 2011 21:15:26 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/?p=233#comment-27705 No no... Women don´t want men who talk about emotions and feel. That´s what they have friends for. They want a man who can give them a good pounding and provide them with money and security. Everything else is just fantasies or a kind of slut denial mechanism. No, I don´t have a relationship with mike because of the good sex. It´s because our talks are sooo special and emotional! Yeah... Riiiiight.... No no… Women don´t want men who talk about emotions and feel. That´s what they have friends for. They want a man who can give them a good pounding and provide them with money and security. Everything else is just fantasies or a kind of slut denial mechanism. No, I don´t have a relationship with mike because of the good sex. It´s because our talks are sooo special and emotional! Yeah… Riiiiight….

]]> By: Daroohttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/03/03/can-men-feel-empathy/#comment-27568 Daroo Sun, 19 Jun 2011 14:32:14 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/?p=233#comment-27568 This is so sexist it makes me cry This is so sexist it makes me cry

]]> By: Julianhttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/03/03/can-men-feel-empathy/#comment-26623 Julian Mon, 11 Apr 2011 19:51:24 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/?p=233#comment-26623 I`m a teenager and I truly feel empathy since i was little and and i`m heterosexual i know people thought too I`m a teenager and I truly feel empathy since i was little and and i`m heterosexual i know people thought too

]]> By: new orleans hurricane evacueehttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/03/03/can-men-feel-empathy/#comment-25060 new orleans hurricane evacuee Thu, 20 Jan 2011 13:59:23 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/?p=233#comment-25060 hey guitar girl,,i play the violin arabic style......i love it,,alll the wrong typees of hormonal women attempt to follow me all day if i make the mistake of walkin with my violin its crazy,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,anyway my point,,please dont feel all men are that way,,,,its sad,,most are imature,,,but there are good men. i felt the same way about women but it took time for me to study womens nature and my own self as a man,,it takes time.. hey guitar girl,,i play the violin arabic style……i love it,,alll the wrong typees of hormonal women attempt to follow me all day if i make the mistake of walkin with my violin its crazy,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,anyway my point,,please dont feel all men are that way,,,,its sad,,most are imature,,,but there are good men. i felt the same way about women but it took time for me to study womens nature and my own self as a man,,it takes time..

]]> By: new orleans hurricane evacueehttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/03/03/can-men-feel-empathy/#comment-25059 new orleans hurricane evacuee Thu, 20 Jan 2011 13:52:38 +0000 http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/?p=233#comment-25059 ok,.,wow im a guy,,i have empathy,,,but remember you as awoman may be to emotionallly unstable.....forgive me ladies,,i am a married man,,11 years....ok..i think he may be allof cuse he aint in love with you,,,but remember this you women do have the habit of speaking in subtle ,questions all day long.maybe what you need to be more direct with m,en,,,most women talk about non important things like its raing in china,,and the sky is blue ,,,who cares?just tell me what u want ,,why and how,,,i think u as a female are still seeing,,hearing everything with your heart instead of your mind,,,,thats a fatal mistake most women just want to hear sweet words all day long,,to feel,,,,,,,feel good,,,remember feeling good dont always mean youare good,,,,,some people have cancer and feel good,,and look good.............tell m,e this womenouthere,,,,,what is there arule book that men have to live up to your emotional level? maybee you need to be more of a logical thinker,,instead of emotional thinker.our emotions can trick us,,,were humans,,,cold heat hunger,,can affect our emotions so here i am sure that ur emotions arent happy becuse u want TO HEAR NICE words that you feel are empathy....ok what if a man did liev up to,,spaek show empathy and he didnt really mean it?............most young women whom havent foiund who they are a s women normally want men to say sweet talk to them all day even whenits not truth,,,then when u women find out its not true u get hurt,,,,,my question comment is then,,,,,,,why dont you 1st define empathy,,,learn who u are as women,,then u realize inur heart that ur happiness..emapthy comes from your own self..not from a man............example should u expect a man to cry over a dead puppy in da street?come on now reallly,,,,if u want that amount of empathy,,then should u marry a femel? no ,,im saying that to forceu to think with mental logic ,,rather haert felt logic....also be honest with yourself,,do u know what u want out of life? do u know when ure in love,,,how can u steal a mans heart?,are u the type of girl who thinks u can talk to a guy in 3 hrs ,,u know everything bout this man?....did u have atrue honest realtionship with ur father? was it loving,,caring supporting too?ok my answer,,,yes men can do,,will feel empathy,, but when you find it,,feel our empathy you cant recognize it becuse most females are in a relationship for the wrong reasons,,,,and besides when we show empathy its never good enough,,as mmost insecure women complain,,,,if u complain,,or become quiet as a church mouse then no normal man will show empthy to u,,becuse you dont respond to his empathy ,,instead u may stand around quiet waiting for a better answer,,sweet talk? as u throw hints,,,mindgames at your husband?its true,,,,ok,,,men got issues toooo..soem just dont care ,,and u cant force them,,its free will issue..maybee he dont love u....its not ur fault i respect u..but why have u never confronted him about this question?is it that he is insensitive? or u are illogical person?dont u have female intuition why dont u use ur female intuition to communicate and resolve this? ohhhhhhh ure too scared? ok then u dont deserve 2 be in a relationship,,,,go find out who ,,and who u are not as a woman,,,,only u complete ur life not a nother person.its not my repeosibility to fix ur life its yours1so go fix it. ok,.,wow im a guy,,i have empathy,,,but remember you as awoman may be to emotionallly unstable…..forgive me ladies,,i am a married man,,11 years….ok..i think he may be allof cuse he aint in love with you,,,but remember this you women do have the habit of speaking in subtle ,questions all day long.maybe what you need to be more direct with m,en,,,most women talk about non important things like its raing in china,,and the sky is blue ,,,who cares?just tell me what u want ,,why and how,,,i think u as a female are still seeing,,hearing everything with your heart instead of your mind,,,,thats a fatal mistake most women just want to hear sweet words all day long,,to feel,,,,,,,feel good,,,remember feeling good dont always mean youare good,,,,,some people have cancer and feel good,,and look good………….tell m,e this womenouthere,,,,,what is there arule book that men have to live up to your emotional level? maybee you need to be more of a logical thinker,,instead of emotional thinker.our emotions can trick us,,,were humans,,,cold heat hunger,,can affect our emotions so here i am sure that ur emotions arent happy becuse u want TO HEAR NICE words that you feel are empathy….ok what if a man did liev up to,,spaek show empathy and he didnt really mean it?…………most young women whom havent foiund who they are a s women normally want men to say sweet talk to them all day even whenits not truth,,,then when u women find out its not true u get hurt,,,,,my question comment is then,,,,,,,why dont you 1st define empathy,,,learn who u are as women,,then u realize inur heart that ur happiness..emapthy comes from your own self..not from a man…………example should u expect a man to cry over a dead puppy in da street?come on now reallly,,,,if u want that amount of empathy,,then should u marry a femel? no ,,im saying that to forceu to think with mental logic ,,rather haert felt logic….also be honest with yourself,,do u know what u want out of life? do u know when ure in love,,,how can u steal a mans heart?,are u the type of girl who thinks u can talk to a guy in 3 hrs ,,u know everything bout this man?….did u have atrue honest realtionship with ur father? was it loving,,caring supporting too?ok my answer,,,yes men can do,,will feel empathy,, but when you find it,,feel our empathy you cant recognize it becuse most females are in a relationship for the wrong reasons,,,,and besides when we show empathy its never good enough,,as mmost insecure women complain,,,,if u complain,,or become quiet as a church mouse then no normal man will show empthy to u,,becuse you dont respond to his empathy ,,instead u may stand around quiet waiting for a better answer,,sweet talk? as u throw hints,,,mindgames at your husband?its true,,,,ok,,,men got issues toooo..soem just dont care ,,and u cant force them,,its free will issue..maybee he dont love u….its not ur fault i respect u..but why have u never confronted him about this question?is it that he is insensitive? or u are illogical person?dont u have female intuition why dont u use ur female intuition to communicate and resolve this? ohhhhhhh ure too scared? ok then u dont deserve 2 be in a relationship,,,,go find out who ,,and who u are not as a woman,,,,only u complete ur life not a nother person.its not my repeosibility to fix ur life its yours1so go fix it.

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