How do you tell the difference? How do you know if it’s love or lust? I think it feels different. In the case of my ex-husband it was all lust. Our whirlwind marriage ended after just two years and those two years were hell! At first, we were completely in lust. Hell, we could barely even understand each other (he is French and his English was rough – to say the least) but we got married anyway.
A few months after our wedding I realized he only truly understood about 15% of what I was saying. He’d just been nodding his head all along because it was easier than stopping me – a constant chatter box. But, at the time, I was convinced it was the real deal.
Lust is a powerful, powerful feeling…but love is so much better. And when the marriage went downhill all I wanted was a husband who loved me. To hell with lust…it fades fast.
Here’s how I tell the difference…
When it’s lust:
- I forget myself…often. Even when I’m with Benjamin. I daydream about the next time he’ll be ripping my clothes off.
- I nod my head adoringly even when he’s spouting utter bull shit.
- I look past his obvious flaws and tell myself that said flaws are “cute.”
- I talk to my friends about him…all of the time because I need validation that I’m with him.
- Things get very serious – very fast.
When it’s love:
- I am still me.
- I know he’s there.
- I want him more than anything, but not because of the sex. I want to BE with him, to talk to him, to hear about his day.
- Things are nice and slow.
- I am still 100% focused on my son because he wouldn’t have it any other way.
What do you think? What do you do to make sure you don’t fall into a whirlwind romance? How do you tell the difference between love and lust?
P.S. I thought a picture of James Bond (the King of Lust) would be appropriate…love Sean Connery! Should add him to my list of the World’s Most Beautiful Men.