How to Date a Single Mom, Part 2

by mssinglemama on February 21, 2008

depp.jpgMy entry on How to Date a Single Mom (for the guys) has been one of the most popular entries on this blog.

I wrote it for one reason…to help the men who have truly fallen for one of us. And then this adorable comment came in the other day. Check this out…

“Stumbled upon this site in my attempt to understand the single mom’s point of view, and I have found it o be the most eye-opening and informative site I have come across. This is all brand-new to me – I have been pursuing the greatest woman I’ve met in years only to find out she has a wonderful 2-year-old…which explains part of why she is so amazing herself. I asked her out, to which she replied that she needs to be friends first and really establish trust. At first I thought I was being blown-off…I get it now. Patience, understanding, and sincerity pay off I guess – no matter how long it takes. And just as I told her, I’m not going anywhere. Thanks for providing a service to not only all you strong, independent single mom’s out there, but to the formally clueless guys who love them.” – Milo.

Do you have any advice for men, like Milo, who have fallen for a single mom? What can he do to earn her trust? Should he leave flowers on her doorstep? No, because then the kids would see it. Maybe a letter in the mailbox?

Needless to say, dating a single mom has been quite an eye-opener for every man I’ve dated. Recently I asked my boyfriend point blank (partly for research, partly because I wanted to know), “what’s it like to date a single mom?” He stumbled, trying to find the words. “Intimidating?” I asked. “No,” he said. A few moments later he declared, “you’re just you, all of the time. There is absolutely no bull shit.”

I realized most childless women out there are pretty fake. Seriously. I would rather be shot than stuck in an elevator with a young childless woman. They’re so self-absorbed, so damn petty and so ridiculously naive. Sorry – girls – but you all drive me nuts. Anyway, most guys do want real women which is why we are so attractive to them. By choice or not, here we are, and we’re real – all of the time – and that is HOT!

With that said – it’s your turn to offer up some tips. I’m sure I missed a few. What would you tell a man dating a single mom? And good luck Milo!!! Please keep us posted.

Here are my other posts on How to Date a Single Mom:

How to Date a Single Mom, Part 1

How to Date a Single Mom, Part 3

{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

Gayle February 26, 2008 at 6:52 pm

My personal advice to the men. Probably reiterating some of your points already…but here it is in my own words:

I don’t have time for the bulls$it. I have a life and a routine first, and as much as I want you to fit in, I sometimes don’t have the time or energy to make you or help you fit in. If you want to date me, and all you are doing is sitting back waiting for me to call you, waiting for me to set the dating schedule and all the rules (because of the mom factor), you’re too much of a pu$$y. That’s NOT attractive.

It makes me feel like you feel sorry for me when you constantly say it’s up to me. If you choose to consistently tread lightly for fear I will dump you, I probably WILL dump you…for fear that you don’t have a backbone. Step up and have a say too! THAT IS HOT! Make me work for it a little bit too.

Summary: Single moms aren’t looking to date pu$$ies.


NotADad April 26, 2009 at 4:44 pm

Not dating pussies is one good reason women date so many assholes and dicks. There are only 3 orifices down there you know ….


Maribel February 3, 2015 at 4:41 am

I just want to know where you actually find smoeone TO date. No, he is not at work. He is not in the grocery store. He is not online. I don’t want a barfly. He is not out in malls shopping. I am 63 years old, still very much full of life and desire and passion.All I seem to find are old codgers in their 8o’s who see me as a younger woman or boys in their 30 s that want to experience sex with a mature woman, needy men who want a mama or a housekeeper and cook, users that need a place to live while they look for a job. There are the heartbroken who need smoeone to help them heal or the pussy hounds just looking for a lay. Am I doomed to become a Golden Girl? No, wait, even they got dates occasionally.


mssinglemama February 26, 2008 at 8:51 pm

So you want him to take matters into his own hands? But respect your boundaries at the same time. Not take offense to the fact that you’re busy…and to above all – treat you like a single woman – not a mom. I hear ya!


milo March 25, 2008 at 12:35 pm

Just saw these comments, and yes, I would agree that single mom’s don’t want to date pu$$ies – as far as I can tell, no women do!

But at the same time I’m not gonna push a great girl away who obviously has had a bad streak going with guys. I just try to be there for her, listen to her, make her laugh (occasionaly at my expense), show concern and interest in her daughter, and let her go at her own speed.
I’m no wimp, but I’m no fool either, and it’s clear in this situation I’m not the one in the driver”s seat.

What more can a guy do than that? I’ve said in not so many words that if she’s not interested all she’s gotta do is say the word and I’ll back off – and I’ve seen her do it first hand to several guys she wasn’t into…haven’t gotten a pink-slip yet, so all I can do is be patient and keep getting to know the woman behind the single-mom.

Maybe that’s the “pu$$y” approach…time we’ll tell…but that’s the only one I got right now.


milo March 25, 2008 at 12:43 pm

Just an add-on question to that…Have you single-moms out there gone through the “I’m never dating again” stage? Because I’m pretty sure that’s where she is right now.


mssinglemama March 25, 2008 at 1:36 pm

I think we all have Milo. But she’s dating you right? So that’s a good step. Patience my friend. Patience. Sounds like you’re doing and saying all of the right things.


milo March 25, 2008 at 2:37 pm

Yeah and I hear you…she throws the concrete wall up sometimes, and I understand why, so it doesn’t bother me as much as a guy who just doesn’t get it – or worse, just doesn’t care.

I can see why you guys can filter out the schleppes pretty quick…if I didn’t really ____ her (notice I keep that blank at the moment…maybe I’m a little on gaurd too about just how smitten with her I am), I wouldn’t even bother, because it’s not an easy road to navigate.
Totally worth it though.


Open February 3, 2015 at 4:11 am

I’ve never been married, don’t think I’d want that eiethr, but I dated a girl who was divorced. She was nice but she kept neglecting me, basically she put me in her friend zone so I ended the relationship. I won’t be a doormat for girls. But the Truth is, breakups hurt both the guy and the girl


RM November 6, 2008 at 3:14 pm

OK. Recently I stumbled upon a friend through facebook who I haven’t seen in about 15 years. She and I are both about the same age, and bothe are single parents. Both of our marriages ended about 5 months ago. Lately we have been talking up a storm on the phone, but that’s it. I am so scared to ask her out…I don’t get nervous around women at all normally.. She is caring, beautiful, and one of the most amazing people that I have ever had the pleasure of being acquainted with. But I am really nervous. I am not really sure if she is just looking for a friend at this point, or is possibly interested in something more… She is the first person I talk to in the AM, and the last I talk to at night. How should I approach this situation? We have been talking steadily for two weeks now. Just yesterday, she put me on the phone with her daughter, which I though was kind of a big step towards trust on her part…any advice? I really want to be able to take care of her…


Angel Blue Eyes July 13, 2009 at 1:02 am

interesting post thanks!!!!


Natural Menopause July 13, 2009 at 1:03 am

I can see why you guys can filter out the schleppes pretty quick…if I didn't really ____ her (notice I keep that blank at the moment…maybe I'm a little on gaurd too about just how smitten with her I am), I wouldn't even bother, because it's not an easy road to navigate.
Totally worth it though.


alonso October 8, 2011 at 3:26 am

Im 19 young and im in a relationship with a single mom thats 28. Shes very attractive and hot as hell. Shes been marry and now she is not with her ex for almost 5 years of 8 years of marriage. She told me that shes always dated but never more then that. The point is we have had sex a week n a half straight, but shes never done that with others and all. I just wanna know if shes with me because of me or cus im young and shes desperate n wants me to be a dad to her kids.


Shelley October 18, 2013 at 2:20 pm

Most likely, she is with you because you are young and make her feel young and sexy (us single moms tend to feel old and not sexy a lot)
Unless she is really immature, in that case, she’s a basket case and you are better off not getting too involved. 28 and 19 Don’t really mesh. It’s not the same as 38 and 29 or 48 and 39. You are young, and no matter how worldy and mature you are, you aren’t as worldy and mature as you think you are. And again, unless she is a basket case or you are a millionaire, she’s probably not looking to you to be a father for her children. No offense intended, just sharing reality. Hope that helps.


sting1606 March 26, 2012 at 3:42 am

I have meet this amazing woman. Her Child is 13 months I have known him since he was 8 1/2 months old. I very attractive and your first post was a real eye opener for me. At least I found this information now pity not 6 months ago. I reading those points on part 1 over and over again to make sure it in my mind and I am doing it.


juuko dalausi April 8, 2012 at 6:28 am

ihad been searching for asinglemama for over my dreams, but if its serrious am more than serrious.


Bobby D. December 3, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I just want to know what to get her for Christmas.

She has a 4 year old little boy, and noting that I’ve known her for 10+ years, I’ve seen his interest bleed into her own.

Any suggestions. I thought Jewelry (too serious), I thought time at the spa. ???? Help!


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