Help! Major Single Mama Decision…

by mssinglemama on February 19, 2008

benmessy.jpgMy son has been nicknamed “Destructivo.”

Destructivo destroys clean rooms in a matter of seconds. There is nothing that can stop him. Except for Super Mommy. But Super Mommy can only keep her eyes on him for so long because she’s also a single mommy. With only one parent in the house Destructivo has been enjoying a long rein of ruling his domain.

He charms Super Mommy with his sweet, sweet smile until she hands over the entire bag of Goldfish crackers. She sits next to him, using her Super Mommy powers to instruct him on how to properly eat out of a Goldfish cracker bag. But to no avail. In less than a nano-second Goldfish crackers are flying all over the room. Destructivo strikes again.

At the moment Super Mommy is typing amidst piles of books, scattered toys and food chunks she can’t bear to clean up again. This would be the third living room sweep today and it’s only 1:00 pm. So she’s taking a nap.

[photo: this past summer after a messy lunch]
benmessy.jpgMy son has been nicknamed “Destructivo.”

Destructivo destroys clean rooms in a matter of seconds. There is nothing that can stop him. Except for Super Mommy. But Super Mommy can only keep her eyes on him for so long because she’s also a single mommy. With only one parent in the house Destructivo has been enjoying a long rein of ruling his domain.

He charms Super Mommy with his sweet, sweet smile until she hands over the entire bag of Goldfish crackers. She sits next to him, using her Super Mommy powers to instruct him on how to properly eat out of a Goldfish cracker bag. But to no avail. In less than a nano-second Goldfish crackers are flying all over the room. Destructivo strikes again.

At the moment Super Mommy is typing amidst piles of books, scattered toys and food chunks she can’t bear to clean up again. This would be the third living room sweep today and it’s only 1:00 pm. So she’s taking a nap.

[photo: this past summer after a messy lunch]
benmessy.jpgMy son has been nicknamed “Destructivo.”

Destructivo destroys clean rooms in a matter of seconds. There is nothing that can stop him. Except for Super Mommy. But Super Mommy can only keep her eyes on him for so long because she’s also a single mommy. With only one parent in the house Destructivo has been enjoying a long rein of ruling his domain.

He charms Super Mommy with his sweet, sweet smile until she hands over the entire bag of Goldfish crackers. She sits next to him, using her Super Mommy powers to instruct him on how to properly eat out of a Goldfish cracker bag. But to no avail. In less than a nano-second Goldfish crackers are flying all over the room. Destructivo strikes again.

At the moment Super Mommy is typing amidst piles of books, scattered toys and food chunks she can’t bear to clean up again. This would be the third living room sweep today and it’s only 1:00 pm. So she’s taking a nap.

[photo: this past summer after a messy lunch]
Monday night my Ex has our son. He takes him to his girlfriend’s house for the night. Don’t have time to get into how I feel about that…the jury is still out as this is a new phenomenon. But – Monday night is my only “free” night of the week. My mom, who we lived with after I left my husband, wants to keep him tonight. That would be two nights without Benjamin. I haven’t had two nights (and three days!) away from him since he was born – two years ago.

I’m nervous about saying yes only because that’s two sleepovers in a row at different places…should I say yes??? I don’t know…so I’m asking for your help. Any other moms out there with some advice? I know he won’t be permanently tramatized or anything – just worried he’ll be in a funk for the rest of the week and clingier than usual. I think we both need this though. Maybe I need a little break.

Sorry this is so short but I’m hung over and going to be totally late for work! Yikes! Yes – Monday nights I tend to get a little crazy and party my ass off.

But please help – need some mommy advice desperately on this one. What say you? 

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Bobbi Gregory February 19, 2008 at 3:35 pm

Is there anyway she could take him later in the week so he has a nite with mommy first so he won’t be as clingy later in the week

Reply

mssinglemama February 19, 2008 at 3:40 pm

Hi Bobbi … no, she lives an hour and a half away. I work Mon-Fri, 9-5 so we can’t make the trip on a weeknight. We could but I choose not to…hmmm….because his dad has him down there anyway – just makes sense for the visit to be all lumped into one.

Reply

Paperspoons February 20, 2008 at 5:16 pm

Single parenting is hard and getting help is even harder. I think you should take the opportunity and enjoy it fully!

Do something you have been putting off, or just do nothing, which is a favorite of mine when I have free time.

Yes, it sucks that you won’t have him inbetween visits, but he will be perfectly fine. And in all honesty, kids need to learn how to be “okay” without Mom, otherwise the older they get the more terrifying it is to be without Mom. They need to learn they can trust and rely on others. Anyway, just my opinion. 🙂

Reply

mssinglemama February 20, 2008 at 5:51 pm

I agree PaperSpoons! And I said yes. So…last night when I got off of work I actually went out for dinner with my boyfriend…it was lovely and then went home where I immediately passed out for a full night’s sleep. Called mom this morning and said – “so, do you want to keep him all week?” She laughed and said – “not a chance in hell – he’s driving me crazy!”

That made me feel better too – just hearing someone else describe what a pain in the ass a toddler, especially my toddler is. It’s not easy!

Reply

Gayle February 23, 2008 at 4:45 pm

I know I’m a little late in giving thoughts, but I’ll do it any way. I’m GLAD you said yes!

I agree with taking advantage of the opportunity for some time away from your kid. Without giving you my whole story, I can say that YES!, my toddler’s overnights at her dad’s does affect my and DD’s daily routines to a very small degree, but it’s very minor and nothing I’m concerned about at this age. DD knows where her HOME is, and she knows she is visiting when not at home.

I’m glad to hear it worked out for you.

Reply

Leave a Comment