Daycare ladies: a tribute to my better halves.

by mssinglemama on February 13, 2008

benjamincooking.jpgI call Benjamin’s daycare at least once a day to check on him. Is this weird? Am I one of the only parents who calls…or does everyone call? I can’t help it. I have to call every day. And when I pick him up and drop him off… I linger, talking it up with the daycare ladies. Why? Because we’re talking about Benjamin.

It’s dawned on me recently (funny how things like this dawn on you two years in) that I have no one to talk to about Benjamin. There is no one else who knows my son as intimately as I do.* These ladies are the closest thing I’ve got.

When I call I get the stats on his day. “He’s been asleep for an hour, he ate nearly all of his lunch and that’s about it, he’s doing just great!” But even though it’s the same conversation every day – nearly verbatim – I keep calling.I pick him up and we go on and on about all of his quirky little habits and cute new words or phrases. And since he started daycare this past fall I’ve noticed something – they’re all falling in love with him. He’s just such an amazing little guy – who wouldn’t? And when they told me one morning, “Benjamin is one of our favorites now!” I was SO excited. “Thank God,” I thought, “because other than me – you’re it.”

* Benjamin’s father has him for 36 hours a week and never calls in between. That aside, he does love his son deeply. And he may know Benjamin intimately…but our conversations are brief and few and far between.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

singlemomseeking February 14, 2008 at 12:15 am

Ah, this cracked me up… because I SO relate! Last year, at my daughter’s parent-teacher conference, I’d already gone 5 minutes overtime and I was on the verge of tears as the teacher gushed about her. I didn’t want to go.

It’s like you said: when you don’t have anyone to talk to about your child, you just want to hang onto those moments for a few more minutes.

Now, I often call my sister. “Guess what your niece did today?” It helps, it really does.

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ana.biosis February 19, 2008 at 7:37 pm

Here this may make ya feel better. I can actually log on and see what my Doodle is doing….I used to do it a zillion times a day but I don’t anymore….

I stay around when I pick him up, talk to the other children, the teacher, sometimes I even get onthe floor and play for 10-15 minutes. This is my Doodles home away from home…of course I want to be part of it too.

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jon b March 7, 2008 at 3:20 pm

My girl is like this too. When he is with his bio-parent she will call to check up and then to say goodnight. At first I thought she was being overprotective and also keeping tabs on the ex. But i have come to see her point of view and that once a child depends on you and loves you it is hard to be apart. At times when we go on a date she gets sappy half way through and says she misses him. I have grown to love the little guy too but I think after only five months it isn’t like hers. he and I have this mutual respect and love hting going. It scares the shit out of me at times to be honest.

Any way, back on track. You aren;’ alone in calling. She does, and lord when she drops him off in the morning and he cries for her to come back and to not leave she is a wreck every day. Is this normal? I don’t know, maybe I’m a guy and deep down I’m a Klingon(Spartan for you non trekkies) and can turn the emotions off and walk away. He is a smart boy and knows how to push her buttons and is definitely making her feel guilty(you’d swear he was Jewish). But I’m not a woman and definitely not his mom so although I empathize with her I can;t entirely understand where she is coming from sometimes.

One thing I have learned from being involved with her and now taking on a more prominent role in his life is how much it makes you reflect on yourself and ask so many questions of yourself. Am I ready for htis? Can I DO this? Do I love him? Can we make htis work? God I never want to hurt either of them. Your head is on a swivel non stop with a child. One thing is for sure, it ain’t boring!

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